It is so strange to think of your wife having a boyfriend. And to hear from them that you did not love them or care for them when they are alone in that view. It is as though 13 years of love from you did not exist.
And yes, I understand there is blame projection and it is easier to blame someone else for your unhappiness. But all those happy photos and moments were not a lie.
The death of our dog was a rare moment where something pierced through and she seemed genuinely sad. But not sad enough to leave her secret boyfriends home.
I have made the hard decision to not go to my daughter’s 10th birthday. I know I am not strong enough. I decided not to lie to her and explained I just can’t be that close to mum at the moment. They said it is because you love her and want to hug her. I said yes, and they my eldest said have you told her? I said she knows.
But the total destruction of a person and remaking of a story is something to behold. It is interesting how you regain your footing and do realise that while you were not perfect, this explosion is not about you. But there is nothing you can do.
Nearly 2 years in and I still can’t quite believe it. It is just so odd.
So many similarities in our stories. I also have a most likely STBxW who rewrote our entire history over night. What was in the eyes of me and my 4 kids a GOOD marriage of 23 years, has been rewritten in the most absurd way. Neither me or my kids buy it. And the childish, passive aggressive behavior -- neglect, witholding, stonewalling etc, is infuriating to no end. But the worst is the parental alienation, and talking sh%$ about you to the kids behind your back, which is the nastiest trick in the book.
I really is the twilight zone. Keep hanging in there, I know there are better years ahead for all of us who are in the middle of this.