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Author Topic: My Story •• Calming the crazy, life after divorce

STP

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My Story Re: •• Calming the crazy, life after divorce
#80: December 11, 2024, 08:49:10 AM
Journalling

I hope you all are festive and happy this holiday season. Not much to say. My Christmas party this past Sat was a super fun time with over 40 friends coming. KA being more introverted, doesn’t like ‘em big, but she had a great time and was included in rounds of women drinking Slippery Nipple shots. The day was also XWs birthday and I sent her the simple greeting for such.

On Sunday I got an invite from DC (& her bf of nine years) to attend their first Christmas party. I know with KA having D12 we are not free to go and I wouldn’t go alone to that. DC said it’d be great to catch up. I sent the invite to KA, like I customarily do, and she had no idea who DC was and was surprised we got an invite having not seen her in 5 years. (Just over a year for me). I said she probably just wants to show off her new house. I invited DC to come to my house this Sunday for my cookie swap (no reply) where a dozen baker friends and I trade Christmas cookies. I also told DC I pay less attention to her now as she’s living with her bf, and I don’t anticipate ever seeing her again.

With her dogs passing a couple months ago, KA has now talked about extending her weekends at my house staying over until Monday mornings. She works remotely off her laptop so she can be anywhere to work. I’d quietly leave at 5am to not wake her. I'd like this and would adjust any Sunday events around it.

S25 randomly checked his live-in fiancees phone and saw she had been sending nude pics to some guy. S25 works a lot and she’s been lonely. They took a few days apart and I was supportive but also urging him to end it with her. He didn’t.
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M58 XW57
S32, S29, S25, S23
BDs 11-09 & 4-16
D 10-16

You are responsible for your own happiness!

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•• Calming the crazy, life after divorce
#81: December 11, 2024, 09:06:36 AM
Good boundary on the DC party, my friend, kudos to you.

Sorry to hear about S25’s experience - pretty big ted flag as you say but sometimes we’re not ready to say No Thanks until we are, right?
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

STP

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Re: •• Calming the crazy, life after divorce
#82: January 20, 2025, 07:36:50 PM
Journalling

Happy New Year. I spent my eve with KA at the nearby casino dancing to a band we like. The highlight was the balloon drop and confetti cannons at midnight. So fun! We also went to a Holiday at Hogwarts, Harry Potter themed dinner with trivia that was excellent. Especially for a big fan like her.

I led my first hike of the year for 14 friends that was snowless but below freezing and a week later went on a hike with 7 others in the hiking group. Sometimes it's nice to not be the leader. There was a 20 yr-younger woman there MVT who was disappointed to have missed my hike. I've seen her a few times hiking with that group and she came to my last kayaking session in Sept. I had a dream about her a few weeks ago which I shared (about us riding on a train). Not sure what that means? I know nothing about dream interpretation. I invited her to come to my white wine party.

I also had a dream about JH, a woman friend I've not seen in a few years but talked about some in my 2016 posts. I shared it with her and she had all sorts of theories about what it meant. She stopped coming to my parties 6 years ago and MM was usually instrumental in her appearing. I invited her to come to my white wine party.

I got a text from MM and her existence in FL sounds awful. Shes sick and working two jobs just to survive. Shes still expecting her guy in MI to move down there this summer.

For kicks I invited wine lover DC to come to my party. Her last party appearance at my place was in 12/19 and she threw a fit when I removed her from my group (One must attend a party every year or get the boot).

My wine party was this past weekend and I had 37 friends attend including buddy JS, MVT, JH, and DC (without bf). We had 32 open bottles and the night was fun but a lot of work for me pouring all of them for those attending. JS was thrilled to see JH (I met them both on the same day in '16) DC left way early, before I had finished my 90 min bartending duties, so I really didn't talk to her. She texted me after that she had a good time and apologized for leaving so early due to her head & stomach. I put the three women in my social party group. Sadly KA could not attend as her brother and sister had flown in to discuss how to deal with their mom. KA is very busy right now dealing with her moms aging/memory loss and D12 busy with volleyball games and practices. In two weeks her and I are having an overnight trip to WI to attend a snow sculpture Winterfest which should be a great time.

Update on my sons.
S32 is engaged to his live in gf. Wedding set for 11/26
S29 lives with his mom XW and OM. Wish he could get out of there!
S25 is engaged to his live in gf. No date set.
S23 is soon buying a townhome. His gf has an 18 month old.
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« Last Edit: January 20, 2025, 07:44:48 PM by STP »
M58 XW57
S32, S29, S25, S23
BDs 11-09 & 4-16
D 10-16

You are responsible for your own happiness!

STP

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  • Gender: Male
Re: •• Calming the crazy, life after divorce
#83: February 17, 2025, 09:24:38 AM
Journalling

KA and I ended up not going to Winterfest as we both were sick at different times. We did have a fun date night out at the casino seeing a local band we like. I hosted a hike for 21 singles of which most are good friends, followed by lunch. KA had her first time sleeping over at my house on a weekday. I quietly got up and went to work and she was out of my house a couple hours later. I did have a thought if she sat at my secondary computer and went rummaging through folders she could find pics she wouldn’t like… but I feel assured she didn’t do that. We all have skeletons in closets that don’t need to be unearthed.

KA had her D12 for the Super Bowl so buddy JS and I hung out with some other longer known friends at an event. Valentines Day marked my 7th anniversary since my first date with KA and I took her out for a nice dinner and photo of us with her roses. We had talked about dancing and live music after, but both were so full, we stayed in and watched a romantic movie. Oddly DC messaged me “Happy Valentines Day.” Perhaps acknowledging my anniversary to KA?

This past weekend was my Chocolate themed party. KA again was unable to make it due to having D12 several weekends in a row because her XH is out-of-town for work. DC backed out citing her bf had planned something special for them. I never really expected her anyway. She said she’d bring some women friends to the next one. The event was good with 30 some friends attending and I was quite full from eating. I tend to end parties with a final photo in the kitchen with those who still remain at 11:45pm. There were two dating couples, buddy JS, myself and tan blonde TBP. Well the next day after photos were posted KA messaged me very upset, deeming it looked like I was coupled up with TPB because I was standing behind her (really in the spot between two guys). I assured her I wasn’t, and she counted the photos of us taken where we both appeared in the same pic. All but one were group photos. There is some truth that I do like her and we have a lot in common. I am also in the process of filming footage to make a music video from my parties-for the theme song, I recorded in 2016. Much of the footage was TBP (& others dancing) which KA pointed out and she asked if I could possibly take less pics with TBP. Yes I can. Her bestie JKR, is like my new MM. Both women are around me a lot coming to everything I host.

TBP messaged me on Sunday asking about a large plate of hers, she uses often that got left behind, and I said this WED I could drop it off, as I’m heading that way to see KA to pick up some food. I know about where she lives but it will be the first time at her house. Although I don’t like keeping things from KA, revealing that I’m stopping over at a persons house she doesn’t trust, would not go over well. Don't beat me up about this-there's nothing going on.

This upcoming weekend is my annual guys board game weekend with a brother, my best friend, S23 and S25.. It will be very fun.

KAs D12 asked for more mommy time (less of me around) on their weekends, so beginning in March I may not be seeing KA on some Fridays.
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« Last Edit: February 17, 2025, 09:30:28 AM by STP »
M58 XW57
S32, S29, S25, S23
BDs 11-09 & 4-16
D 10-16

You are responsible for your own happiness!

 

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