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Author Topic: My Story It's A Wonderful Life

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My Story Re: It's A Wonderful Life
#70: January 23, 2025, 01:26:48 PM
Thank you, ML, FW, Flummoxed and HL!   Some days it is still difficult to believe I was living a completely different life 9 years ago, with a completely different man.  My goodness, how much I've changed and in turn, my life has changed since that fateful, Jan 2016 BD. 

Even though time has done it's thing, it does still pain me to think about everything my xh so carelessly discarded for nothing of any value in return.  His fantasy R with OW has long since crashed and burned, as most do, and I haven't had any contact with him in years.  If it wasn't for family giving an occasional passing update, I honestly wouldn't know if he was dead or alive.  And, that is a strange feeling to have about someone with whom I'd spent nearly 2 decades. 

Even so, life is very good now. For those of you just now learning to navigate this crisis, I can only encourage you through my story, that life does go on and you will not always feel the way you do at this moment.  The best piece of advice I can give is to stop giving the MLC your attention and focus on you.  Grow, learn, and above all, reconnect with yourself.  You're more than capable and more than enough.
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It's A Wonderful Life
#71: January 23, 2025, 02:25:59 PM
Hello,

It is so good to read your thread and it only helps me appreciate and enjoy the life I have now as well. It is so nice to be with someone that respects you as a person. Everyday, I look forward to leaving work to see her and make the most of every weekend we are together.

I agree with you that in the beginning, I never thought I would be where I am now. I've gotten into shape, enjoy my job, and just love being with my family. It was a difficult journey, but I feel that I have made it through the rapids and now rowing in more peaceful waters.

Yes, the focus needs to be on you and when you reconnect with yourself, you can begin to heal.

Thank you for being part of the forum and I enjoy reading about you and Popeye!

(((Ready))))

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"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

b
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Re: It's A Wonderful Life
#72: January 31, 2025, 01:57:07 PM
Thank you for continuing to follow and for continuing to post your own musings and updates.  I feel so far removed from much of the MLC since being 9 years out and being in a new M and honestly brand new life by most accounts.

I will never be the LBS that offers the hope that the MLC spouse will ever come back, but I feel like I can be the example of what happens when you decide to live your own life like they are never coming back.
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It's A Wonderful Life
#73: January 31, 2025, 02:26:48 PM
Nice to hear from both of you who are happy now after the whole MLC devastation. From what I have read here most MLCers are totally lost and they never came back. I was one of the LBSers who thought my story would be different when I first joined this group. The sooner the lbs accepts that they are gone the better it is for the LBS to heal. I think I did not contact my xh for a long time after he left and filed for divorce. Only then I could see the whole picture. Though recently we started communicating again but on friendly basis. I never thought the crying would ever stop. I remember myself crying in the bathtub or the bathroom floor. I cannot imagine the intensity of that pain anymore. It’s not totally gone but it’s almost not there anymore I guess. I’m still a work in progress but I’ve also changed a lot, and I guess for the better. As for my xh, I guess the last OW is also now gone. Couldn’t keep up probably as she was too young for him. Who knows? He told me recently he’s happy with his triathlon although he had to go a hip replacement due to the sport. Maybe some of them do really find happiness after they destroyed their marriage. Up to this day I still ask myself if it was really MLC or it’s just my xh’s character. I was the longest relationship he ever had and the rest (before or after the marriage) were just flavor of the month. I wish one day like you and Ready, I would also meet my partner for life. I  don’t think I would like to live alone for the rest of my life. It’s nice to have someone that really cares for you. I hope you continue to post here BB.
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« Last Edit: January 31, 2025, 02:29:44 PM by Dragonfly33 »
Me 43 at BD
H    45 at BD
Married 11 yrs at BD, no kids,
BD May 2019 (I moved out Nov 2019)
EA or PA with ex gf (not sure), H spent 3 nights with the hoe during our vacation in July 2019, it was a friendly encounter according to H
H wanted D April 2020 seeing suspected OW2 (divorced with two kids) and 2 years older than him, H didn’t file the D
Clinging boomerang
6/21 H moved in with me; kicked him out 01/22
H turned into a vanisher, wants a Divorce, OW 3 (16 years younger and extreme sporty)
14.11.22 Divorce final, I'm done

 

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