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Author Topic: My Story No Longer even speaking to me

B
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My Story Re: No Longer even speaking to me
#140: December 03, 2024, 02:36:01 AM
NTA on this. I’m sorry that she’s having an issue but she has to deal with it.
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BD 3/23
Standing
W Still at Home W Kids, Baxter and I moved out (by court order) 2/1/25
Me-48
W-47
S-16
S-19

W

WHY

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No Longer even speaking to me
#141: December 03, 2024, 05:18:49 AM
She gets close to half my pay and has a boyfriend.  Let me know your thoughts?

Part of the LBS’s healing journey is finding your own self respect again.

Read the comment you wrote out loud and then look at yourself in the mirror.  You know what the right thing to do is.

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No Longer even speaking to me
#142: December 04, 2024, 04:04:39 AM
SO many appropriate GIFs here so here are the best of.....

SBTXW has a car problem? Possible answers are:









She fired you from the position of dealing with her stuff so ....
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Me - 61, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 17, D - 13
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

M
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No Longer even speaking to me
#143: December 05, 2024, 11:38:16 AM
Resolving her issues in life are her problem now and you not helping is a consequence of her leaving the relationship. You absolutely should not offer. She didn’t even ask. She was just hoping you would offer. That’s what you need to see. She just assumed. She just expected. She is just used to you offering and doing. Now she can just assume that those days are over.
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There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
June 2022 XH bring OW to meet family due to xMIL illness
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife
May 2024 xMIL visits XH/OW in their new home
Aug 2024 cut relations w/XH fam.
Dec 2024 D33 expecting baby ( XH not told)

T
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No Longer even speaking to me
#144: January 21, 2025, 10:33:02 AM
Journaling

Been a little bit since I’ve written anything.  Got through the holidays with minimal drama.  Soon to be ex-wife has been living the partying life and unfortunately for her built a poor reputation for herself.  She has been so dating crazy that she had to be reprimanded at work for constant phone use and lack of any real work ethic.  She apparently is having a fling with a co-worker there who is also married.  That makes 2 married men she’s been with that I know of.  I have a friend who works in her building and some of the other women don’t have the nicest things to say about her. 
As for me I continue my healing journey.  I still get really upset some days, but they are getting further apart.  I have realized that following advise here about allowing yourself to grieve is really the best medicine.  I am pretty much no contact as recommended.  She still doesn’t even say hi when I see her at kid drop off and that’s fine at this point.  She has her own demons to deal with.  I have come to understand that she is a dismissive avoidant and that’s never going to change.  It’s amazing how time goes on you really start to see all the things your subconscious mind hides about the real person they are.   I have begun to really see how our ending wasn’t due to anything I did or didn’t do.  It was her feeling overwhelmed and never voicing it.  She has never been a great communicator, and I didn’t have strong boundaries with that.  I have replayed many of our final words and realized that there was never going to be a different outcome with her leaving. 
These past few weeks I have set my own personal journey to find real forgiveness.  I try to accept that I’m starting my life over.  I have come to really appreciate all my friends and family that have been there for me this past year and change.  I hope in my life I can provide them comfort when they are in a time of need.  I said to my kids that I believe God puts us all on a path which we need to learn from.  Good or bad, it’s all there to teach us things.
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BD Oct 2023
OM Feb 2024
Served Divorce papers July 2024
Iin same house with kids till Oct 2024

 

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