I still found myself grieving that life does not look the way I expected if would. It’s hard to explain.
I try to tell myself that many many people face terrible things and my "grief" seems rather "small" so I actually feel like I am a whining spoiled brat ( talking about people who are sick, who are homeless, who have lost everything in fires, hurricane's, abused etc).....however, it is really important to recognize that my feelings are real and I am allowed to feel them
I do the same. I mope for a hot second and then slap myself into reality. You know what has really gotten me through in the end. I had a 30 year marriage. Most people never get that. It was a successful marriage even if it ended so unbelievably. If I remain single for my remaining days, I was not single for most. It is not my preference to be alone now, but it is where I am.
There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.
Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight
Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022 XH fired
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife