[Shockandawe]

Hi everyone,

Another new thread.
I will answer your questions to the best of my ability and please continue to ask.
Always remember each and every one of you are not the reason your MLCer is in crisis. Let them go and use the energy on yourselves.

They are lost for now, you are not.

Previous thread:  https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11029.0

[crazyjourney]

Hi Shocks sis

I don’t have a question, I am an old timer and don’t feel the panic etc., that I used to but have been reading along.

Just wanted to say you are very kind to help everyone try and settle their minds and sorry you had to go through this yourself.

I can only think you must be a very nice person the way you have even dealt with some of the hiccups that occur on here at times, with everyone having different takes on it all from time to time it does get heated.

I don’t really know what mlc is supposed to do for a person, can’t for the life of me fathom why a person needs it really, there has to be an easier way to deal with issues surely.

Anyway thank you for your time, it makes for very interesting insight to not it all xx

[crazyjourney]

Sorry don’t know where not came from oops🤭 should of re read before pressing send

[Shockandawe]

Thank you Crazy

I totally understand how people get angry because I think I would too especially when you’re running around trying to make sense of the senseless. If I can help just one person to be a little more at peace then I am happy to know that something positive came from something so negative as in my MLC.

[rosetintedglasses]

ShocksSis I think you are helping more than one person. Don’t underestimate what you are doing here, it’s incredible.

Rose 🌹

[Loyal]

Hi SchockSis, I  also want to thankyou so very much for your neverending patience and kindness towards us. Words alone really cannot describe the gratitude and appreciation that so many (at least  99,99%) of us here on HS feel towards you.
Also a  huge thanks to your Sis for lending you to us.

Here are two questions that I`d love to hear your answers about.
You said you were horrible to your H but was it only verbal abuse or did you actually go out of your way to do things that would harm him otherwise (financially,  etc., etc.). If so, did you attempt to amend these things (e.g. by reimbursing him financially) or apologize to him for the things you had done to him whilst you were deep in the fog?

Were you only horrible to you H or did you start turning on other people (family, friends, acquaintances) the deeper you got into the fog?

[megogirl]

If so, did you attempt to amend these things (e.g. by reimbursing him financially) or apologize to him for the things you had done to him whilst you were deep in the fog?

I, too, have wondered what it feels like to have a pocket of clarity.  When having one, do you recognize that you're back to normal, even if only for a minute?

[Shockandawe]

Mego and Loyal

I was verbally very abusive to my ex h and I felt at that time I could have quite easily been physically so if he had made me angry enough! As shocking as this is it’s reality. I felt absolutely nothing only overwhelming anger and hatred against him. In time this changed to total indifference and he no longer angered me because I really didn’t care what he did or didn’t do.
It’s such a horrible and cruel thing to admit but the man I loved so much was now my arch enemy.
I didn’t believe a word he said (the fog in my head convinced me that he was a liar), and I felt anything he said was to manipulate me and pressure me.
As I started coming out of the fog I realised I still had my feelings of love for him and that they were there all along just pushed deep down below the fog.

[Shockandawe]

Thank you Rose

I just think it’s some small thing I can do to try to give a little understanding and peace to all LBSers because each and every one of you deserve at least that.

[Prism]

Shocks Sis,

I want to add my thanks for your contributions here. They are enormously helpful. It's just so hard to get our brains around the dramatic personality changes exhibited by someone we knew and loved for so long, and reading your comments reassure that at least for some of us, that rational, caring person may return. In my case, while my H did not monster or do some of the extreme behaviors that I have read about here, there are enough other similar behaviors and scripts and confusion that I am convinced it is MLC. Here is my question:

I have to believe that the H I knew, once recovering himself and realizing the impact of his behavior (if that happens), will feel "I am a heel. She deserves better. I did so much damage that there is nothing I can do to make things right. I will do the best I can with my life from where I am now." Honestly, I think that would be a rational take on the situation - I might even agree with those conclusions; I'm not sure yet. What motivates the recovering MLC-er to think the best thing is to come home?

Thank you!

Prism