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Author Topic: MLC Monster Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9

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MLC Monster Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#60: October 06, 2019, 05:06:54 AM
Thank you so much, Shocks sis, for answering all these questions us LBSes have -- it is so helpful and reassuring to read your replies.  What I'm taking away from them is primarily that there is absolutely nothing I can do at the moment to change anything so it's best to relax and live life as best I can.
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Me: 51 (43 at BD1)
H: 57 (48 at BD1)
D: 14 (6 at BD1)
Met in 1995, married since 2000
BD 1: August 2014
BD 2: October 2015, H moved abroad
August 2018: Received divorce papers in the mail unexpectedly
May 2019: H gave up his job and moved about 1.5 hours to where D11 (at the time) and I live
Divorced: January 2020
Moving on

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#61: October 06, 2019, 06:19:19 AM
Hi puzzled

That’s exactly what you need to do.
MLCERS are the epitome of selfish thrown in with a bit of teenage regression.
Carry on for yourself and let the MLCer get on with it.
They boarded the crazy train and they have no option but to travel through MLC, you LBSers don’t have to board the train with them. As I tell my sister, wave them off and get on with taking care of yourself.
I hope this helps
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« Last Edit: October 06, 2019, 06:24:16 AM by Shockandawe »
Beware of “keyboard warriors “

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#62: October 07, 2019, 08:53:48 AM
Hi Limbo

I didn’t leave my child though I did travel abroad to visit om. You have to try to understand that in MLC I was the most important person at that time and it was ALL about me and my wants. I justified it by thinking that my child would be spending time with her Father and no amount of people trying to tell me otherwise was penetrating my selfish armour.
As MLCers one basic similarity is the overwhelming selfishness. I think your husband is deep in the fog and so he is a world champion selfish person.
I am afraid I’m going to use the word time again for that is what this takes.
Don’t take it personally and be the same parent for your child/ children because your h is childlike himself at the moment.

Thanks so much for your response. Greatly appreciated. I find the total selfishness and lack of care for a young child totally gobsmacking. Plus his justifications for his actions beggars belief. I will never understand my mlcer....and I think that is ok.
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Me- 47 at BD
MLC husband -45 at BD
1 daughter - 2 1/2 years at BD
BD 1 - January 6, 2018 moves out
November 2018 - moves back in for 1 month then leaves saying relationship over, wants a divorce then flies over last minute to be with OW on holiday.
BD 2 - OW confirmed December 14, 2018 - meeting up with her for holiday
BD3 - engaged to OW December 21, 2018
BD 4 - tells me he is moving back to home country on January 27, 2019. Gives me 5 days notice. His flight date is February 1, 2019.

I just want the money and him out of my life!

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#63: October 08, 2019, 09:44:20 AM
I echo what steel spine said about finger pointing.

Thank you as for helping people here :)

My xh ow moved out of the residence they shared. She gave a plethora of reasons for why she was moving out. Then she told him that they could still be together but not live together.

Currently my xh has my d17 and my dog as I am having to put things into a container and move. The new house is not ready yet. I find it odd that he would take my dog, he even offered a fee months back when I went on vacation.

He has told me time and again that he regrets how bd went down but he would not change the outcome of us. If your xh was single would you have pursued him again?
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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#64: October 08, 2019, 02:45:11 PM
I’m late to the party (in the hospital) but I echo Terra and McKnight.

No good can come from criticizing others, especially those who are providing such a valuable service to HS.

ShockSis is the very last person to deserve lectures and/or negative banter.
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« Last Edit: October 08, 2019, 02:47:08 PM by megogirl »

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#65: October 08, 2019, 07:14:36 PM
Goodness, are you ok Mego!  Can you share what's happened?
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"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#66: October 08, 2019, 09:47:19 PM
I have to say I agree with everything Anjae has said on this thread.

Let's take SS at her word, she got involved with a manipulative guy.

There are lots of manipulative people in the world-politicians, advertisers, spouses, bosses, coworkers, Nigerian online scammers, even real life OMs/OWs. We all encounter them in some form or another in our daily lives. MLCers are not unique in having to deal with them.

There are exceptional situations where people are truly powerless and get manipulated, poor homeless girls trafficked for sex for example, and it is hard to blame them for what happens.

But a married woman going online and chatting with another man already made her biggest mistake and sin right there. It doesn't matter if after that first step, she gets involved with the most laidback guy or the most manipulative, she stepped out of her marriage, disrespected her vows, and that was that.

If you allow yourself to be manipulated by anyone, it's a personal character flaw. MLC or a proverbial fog is no excuse.

The odd thing is that most MLCers don't like being controlled. They are looking for a pliable OP to control themselves. I think in many cases, when the OP actually does start to act controlling, manipulative etc., if they have any sense, that's when they wake up and walk away.

SS may be an exception, but as Acorn says, she's a sample of one and should not be seen as some sort of example for anyone else.

Of course there is a benefit of reading what SS says, even if it is just to see the mind of an MLCer who as Anjae I think rightfully points out, is not fully recovered or recognizing her responsibility.
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« Last Edit: October 08, 2019, 09:50:05 PM by Not Your Monkey »

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#67: October 08, 2019, 10:11:51 PM
NYM, I like you a lot, but you are too late to stir the pot. We are out of spoons.
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me 59, H 55
S17, S13 & S13
M 1/98

7/16 - BD - PA - OW
No legal action. Reconnected.
Done, with compassion.

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#68: October 08, 2019, 10:30:06 PM
Bad news SS. I found a spoon.

Good news SS. I decided this post isn't worth responding to and put the spoon back in the bucket.
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« Last Edit: October 08, 2019, 10:43:10 PM by MyBrainIsBroken »

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Re: Shocks sis recovered MLCer 9
#69: October 09, 2019, 08:59:42 AM
Savvy

I broke one side of my ankle (fall), then fell again trying to get onto my bed and broke the other side.

The only good thing about this unmitigated disaster is it got me out of court for another month, at least.

Sis, you keep me going.  I hope you can ignore the naysayers.
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« Last Edit: October 09, 2019, 09:23:55 AM by megogirl »

 

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