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Author Topic: Mirror-Work MLC return stories

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Okay, so I´m with you on not sharing MLC resources. My question is then at what point do they realize/admit they are in one and become able to express it? At some point are they willing/interested in reading about WTH just happened to them or do they really think that they are so unique that no one could possiblity relate?

I am having a hard time growing my patience muscle. I know that it will pay off in all aspects of my life- just yesterday I made toffee and had to stir ever so slowly and wait out the rise in temperature or else it would be ruined. I was patient and got great results. I am one song alway from having an album´s worth of songs about this horrendous experience. Then the challenge will be to record them all with someone with a better voice doing the vocals. This should occupy a lot of my time. I guess I´m just tired of the emotional pain.

Time to get movin´,
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t
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I can't say for sure how long b4 they realize.  My H is so far in the fog that I can't say if he'll ever get out at this point but I am one of the newbies. Everyone is different and depending on where they are in their stage they will come to you not the other way around.  But again this answer is better addressed by OP, RCR, HB as well as reading the articles in the forum. 

Like you I have some songs which could probably become platinum only I need someone to sing them for me. :)

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My question is then at what point do they realize/admit they are in one and become able to express it? At some point are they willing/interested in reading about WTH just happened to them or do they really think that they are so unique that no one could possiblity relate?

Yea when the crisis is OVER!

Maybe when they break withdrawal but I would guess after it is totally over.
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Re: MLC return stories
#13: April 27, 2011, 05:04:14 PM
Ok I think we need it.

And I will ask RCR nicely to peg it to the top so we can see.

So we have the success stories

stayed
Hearts Blessing
RCR herself.

So what I am thinking for this thread is that when we hear things from others we can add it here.

For example
at work 3 stories have came up for me now.

Man left his wife for another woman, devastating her. After 2 years he admitted to making a HUGE mistake and came back have been together now for many years.

man left his wife slept around with anything and everything, did drugs, drank etc etc.  She tried to keep it together but about a year after she gave up he wanted to come back, Not sure how long they been apart but she has remarried although terms her ex the love of her life.  He is still chasing after her and I gather it has been quite a few years now.

afriend of her mother had the same thing happen to her and after 13 years they got back together and have been together since about 20 years.

I read them patched over the board but maybe we can also put them here and see?
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« Last Edit: April 27, 2011, 05:16:23 PM by ShantillyLace »
You must do the things you think you cannot do.

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Re: MLC return stories
#14: April 28, 2011, 06:24:56 AM
Here are four stories that I can think of..although I have been told more by various people. Ill try to remember any details of the others that I hear.

1) A very close friend of mine shared with me only once and has not talked about it again that 20 years ago her husband left for a year. Their son was a teenager. I know her husband very well, he is an amazing man who has been somewhat of a spiritual guru to me....they have a wonderful marriage, a wonderful life and I would never have dreamed that he would have done that.

I'm not sure why she won't talk more about it but I did appreciate her sharing.

2) When I was looking for a property in Canada, on the second day, the agent said to me " I don't want to give you false hope but my husband had an affair and left me for 2 years. I believe they actually divorced (sorry my mind wad foggy at that point). They lived in different countries and had a 3 year old son at the time. He came back out of the blue and she knew that they could be together again...he died 10 years after but they had a great marriage for those 10 years.

3) A women who I golf with, her best friend's husband (they had 4 children) left to live with his very young secretary...I think he was a clinging boomeranger...he came home for good after 3 years and they are together and happy.

4) My dental hygienist told me that this happened to her aunt and they are now together again.

If you go on Rejoice Ministries, every day there are stories of reconciliations including the originator of the site, Charleyne and Bob Steincamp
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

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Re: MLC return stories
#15: April 28, 2011, 06:33:21 AM
I'll add this here:

The woman I refer to as "my friend of the 5 years" is a good case in point.  Her H left, then after a while moved in with OW for something like 2 years, then still didn't come back for something like another 2 years.  But come back he did, it took another 3 years to resolve outstanding issues, and they have been long back together, stronger than ever, and they now both help others in this situation, mostly through their church. 

She has been wonderful to me; I passed on this website to her so that she can give it to others who come to her.  She was a Stander with a capital S, did it through a huge faith.  She pretty much did what is advised here.....  her children were all very young when it started, the eldest was 11 or 12 when he returned. 

Faith is a must. 
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Re: MLC return stories
#16: April 28, 2011, 06:45:12 AM
I can only add a very vague story; a friend of mine, while her H was a pastor, counselled a number of people going what she saw as MLC. Many eventually went back home, some did not. She thought that the LBS attitude was important.
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Re: MLC return stories
#17: April 28, 2011, 07:10:42 AM
My friend's neighbors..He had a affair, they got divorced and two years later they were back together and now are re-married.
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Re: MLC return stories
#18: April 28, 2011, 08:11:40 AM
Another friend of mine last year..her husband had been in monster for over a year, wouldn't come near her, made every effort to be away frequently, had an EA....prior to this, he had always been very loving and attentive and they had a happy marriage.

She threw him out..he got his own apartment and she went away on vacation...within two weeks, he wanted back. the first month was good but then they started having trouble...however, they are still together and working on things. He continues to say that he is committed to their marriage but she says it is hard.

Of course there are two other published stories...Laura Munson's "This in Not the Story You Think it is" and Linda Rook's Broken Heart on Hold.

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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

u
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Re: MLC return stories
#19: April 28, 2011, 08:22:54 AM
Love this thread.  Was thinking of starting something similar myself.  Please provide as many details as possible.

1) My IN-LAWS!  I didn't know this until after H left.  He doesn't remember it clearly, but his Mom reminded him that when he was young - maybe 6 or 8 - his Dad left.  My H remembers it as only 6 months or so - I don't know how long it really was.  Anyway, they actually got divorced.  He then came back for good.  They celebrated over 50 years together.  She told me that her L asked her if she was sure when she was signing the D papers and her answer was that it didn't matter - if he loved her he'd be back and if he didn't, they would end up divorced anyway.  I keep trying to hold onto that.  It is the reality.  Still it's hard.

2) Yes, ece711!!  At perhaps my lowest point, just after I filed, I went to a college reunion and spoke to a friend.  She and another guy in our dorm had dated through college and gotten married and had two kids, then things went downhill and she left.  They got divorced.  She said she had every intention in the world of just moving on. She dated other people and was actually living with someone else when a friend of hers made a comment one day about another couple, saying wouldn't it be nice to have someone that loved you that much and she realized she had that in her ex and that that was what she truly wanted, that she felt she and her ex were meant to be together.  She went back and they remarried and had another kid and are happy now.  It's only been a few years, but it seems solid.  That story really helped me hang on.

3) I do have a third story of a guy at work whose wife left for about 3 years and then came back and they are together and seemingly doing well, very thankful that they were both still hanging on.
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