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Author Topic: My Story BRAND NEW MAN 12

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My Story BRAND NEW MAN 12
#100: June 08, 2021, 08:19:53 AM

Today was day 44 of my running challenge and I cannot wait until day 62 and the finish line on June 25th.


I can't even imagine!!  I plan 2 runs a week, a couple 15 mile bike rides and some lifting at the gym and if I get that all in I'm think I'm a superstar! 

I'll be cheering for you at day 62 - way to go! 
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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

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BRAND NEW MAN 12
#101: June 08, 2021, 10:14:58 AM
We have a rule at our house. There is absolutely no eating while groceries are being unloaded and put away. There is a reason for this rule.   

Sounds like some pretty typical teenager stuff happening.  Enjoy!! 
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
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D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
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“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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BRAND NEW MAN 12
#102: June 08, 2021, 01:53:38 PM
Hi Dumbfounded, Stillbaffled, TrustandLove, Init, UrsaMajor.

Well last night I was laying down to sleep and I noticed S18 standing at my door. So I asked, what's up ? He replied, my armpits stink, I forgot my deodorant. So he made it through 6 days without deodorant before he tapped out.

He has a little kayak sunburn from yesterday on his thighs and forearms. Nothing too bad but he has been complaining today.

We went to a wildlife refuge today where we hiked. We are on the coast so the hiking is flat. Today's featured animals were the Osprey, White Herron and Red Winged Blackbird.

We were attacked by flies today so that added to his crankyness. Thunderstorms are rolling in now and hopefully it will drop our temps a bit.

He did enjoy the kayaking yesterday which was roughly 3 hours and 36 minutes of paddling. He is a bit stubborn when it comes to hydrating. I did have our lunch prepared the night before so we stopped and ate along one of the beach areas. Usually I'm just a power bar and banana if by myself.

The last 2 days we had a bit of driving to get to our destinations which is part of the experience. Today we stayed a little closer to the house.

So dinner and then I have to run after the thunderstorm. I have acquired enough coloring myself. Tomorrow maybe an ocean kayak which is a bit shorter at 2 hours. I was going to take him whale watching but he is worried about getting boat sick.

He really is into observing wildlife so the lack of turtles was a bit disappointing yesterday. We saw a massive bird yesterday while kayaking. Big like a swan but this one had gray on its wings. We also spotted a bald eagle in flight on Sunday which we have never seen.

Enjoy your day

Thanks
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BRAND NEW MAN 12
#103: June 09, 2021, 06:23:44 PM
We had bad thunderstorms last night so I had to make up 5 miles this morning and it was rough going on an empty stomach. Yea I didn't like that run at all.

S18 was ready as usual to leave at 10am and I didn't have to say a word to him. The only day I had to wake him up early was for kayaking since we had an appointment.

He chose the beach and boardwalk today and we also went to an aquarium and played miniature golf. The boys used to sword fight when they were younger with the golf clubs and I really had no patience. Yep its been that long.

There was a group of teenagers playing ahead of us and I was surprised he wanted to be seen with his dad. Most of our adventures are in marshes, or the woods, or the mountains. LOL, usually there are no people around.

We had our usual lunch and he mentioned he had been there before with his mom and brother. He does bring his mom up which is fine. I usually bring S21 up and pondered at what point he would have thrown in the towel kayaking on the river the other day.

S18 was hitting me with "are we there yet" the other day kayaking. "Does any of this look familiar to you", lol. I told him no one was coming for us. We had to finish it.

His friends must have been texting him today as he kept looking at his phone. We had to go food shopping again today to replenish our food. The refrigerator is really bare because his eating is so regimented.

Every morning he has 2-3 bowls of Cheerios. He eats broccoli and carrots with every dinner. He snacks on mandarins throughout the day. Yes I really dont have to buy anything else outside of those parameters.

He also eats mashed potatoes but I wasn't making them again tonight. I was able to run today's 5 mile requirement right before dinner and the storms arrived. I ran much better having food in my system.

Today was chicken breast, only 3, but he did have a plate of taquitos while I was running. We have dinner at the table which is so odd because all of our covid dinner nights have been in my car.

The storms were really bad tonight and I was just able to retrieve the chicken from the grill in time.

He would play on that computer all day long if he could IMO. We are not really discussing anything. IDK if we need to discuss anything. We kind of just talk about the day at hand.

Laundry, of course, to close out the night, lol, and we start again tomorrow.
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BRAND NEW MAN 12
#104: June 10, 2021, 06:51:35 PM
Everyday S18 wakes up and he asks, where are we going today. Sometimes I think I am boring him to death as we are not really going to exciting places, lol.

We went hiking today to a state park which was an old cranberry farm. He does ask a lot of questions while we are out so that leads me to believe he enjoys being out in nature.

When we went kayaking on Monday we were fortunate to have the guide who is the ecologist. She was very good with S18.

So today he remembered a few things she had said as he noticed the Spotted Turtle which has yellow dots and the pitcher plant which is coniferous. He remembered she called it the venus fly trap.

He took out his phone to Google the red dragon fly he saw and took it out again to take a photo of a frog that crossed our path. So he does show interest.

The ecologist also pointed out how the forests are covered in wild blueberry plants and they are beginning to flower. IDK, I equate blueberry plants by the thousands to black bears.

So the water source for the cranberry farm was a damned lake. Water would be released into the cranberry bog. Then the damn on the other end of the bog would be lifted to release the water when needed. It was all downhill from the lake so it was pretty simple engineering.

So we kept to our routine with returning home for dinner. Tonight we were back to London Broil. He had his usual Taquitos while I went to run 5 miles before dinner. This is a microwavable type of food which he is used to preparing at home.

I did ask him if he ate all these size portions at home and he said he usually has pasta because his mom is always home late.

I've been eating according to his schedule so I can see how he can finish off so much at dinner.
 He strictly adheres to meals with hardly any snacking. Meanwhile I need some serious sugar, like an oreo cookie or ice cream. So I know I definitely have lost weight as I've noticed my skin tightening up.

Neither one of us has had any contact with his mom. The original plan was to have him through June 12th but I am ready to invoke the Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers clause in our MSA if she doesn't reach out for him.  ::)

Its difficult listening to him talk at times because it doesn't sound so good at home. I still don't think he views me as an option yet. Meanwhile I cannot even imagine what he is thinking about his home life.

His father was put out of the house while his mother remained in the house. It maybe that simple. Hopefully the house will go soon. Its a safe haven but its a dysfunctional safe haven.

So we shall see what happens tomorrow. Tomorrow is 🐔.
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« Last Edit: June 10, 2021, 06:55:08 PM by Watcher »

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BRAND NEW MAN 12
#105: June 11, 2021, 01:28:47 AM


Yum! Chimkin!
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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
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Divorce final 30 August 2019

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BRAND NEW MAN 12
#106: June 12, 2021, 05:39:03 AM
Hello,

Quote
Hopefully the house will go soon. Its a safe haven but its a dysfunctional safe haven.

Could not have said this better myself. I hope that you do get to spend more time with your son. What's interesting is that even though you have been out of the house for so many years how both of you are the same in so many ways.

Quote
Every morning he has 2-3 bowls of Cheerios. He eats broccoli and carrots with every dinner. He snacks on mandarins throughout the day. Yes I really dont have to buy anything else outside of those parameters.

He sticks to a very good diet. I am really impressed because I was sure mom was a diet of microwave and cheap sugar and flour dishes that are not expensive or difficult to make.

Dad on the other hand,

Quote
We had bad thunderstorms last night so I had to make up 5 miles this morning and it was rough going on an empty stomach. Yea I didn't like that run at all.

The only person that would know that you skipped the 5 miles is you, but I know that if you skipped it, it would bother you for weeks. LOL Both of you seems to have solid systems of self accountability and that is not a bad thing.

Quote
The original plan was to have him through June 12th but I am ready to invoke the Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers clause in our MSA if she doesn't reach out for him.

I would do it even if she does reach out for him. Now you've got the son, get yourself a place to live, get a dog, and get a girlfriend. There doesn't have to be any order in your tasks. Make a list and check off each box. This is going to be a very busy summer for you. LOL

Have a great weekend,

((((Ready))))


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BRAND NEW MAN 12
#107: June 12, 2021, 10:21:46 AM
The original plan was to have him through June 12th but I am ready to invoke the Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers clause in our MSA if she doesn't reach out for him.  ::)
That sounds like a clause that could be handy.  ;) Isn't possession 9/10ths of the law or some such thing? 

Your S sounds like mine regarding mandarins. Seems to be the snack of choice these days. He'll go through a bag in just a few days unless there are peaches around. Nice to know the youngsters can make good choices.
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BRAND NEW MAN 12
#108: June 12, 2021, 03:30:03 PM
Hi UrsaMajor, Readytofixmyselffirst, OffRoad.

LOL Ready, oh I cannot rest if I skip a run day. It will eat at me until I run it. This challenge is a numbers game. Everyday is 5 miles. If you miss a day then you are in the negative. I really do not like running everyday and most days I would rather not do it. Those are my just get it done days and stop your whining. Its almost June 25th and then I will take a week off from running and then I will find myself bored so the vicious cycle repeats, lol.

Yesterday we went on 2 hikes for a total of 7 miles so my thighs were really sore running last night in a cold/rainy 60 degrees. I will be switching to long runs in July. Maybe twice a week with one additional short run.

So today was day 11 with S18 and he has now returned home to his mother.  :-\ That is a new record for consecutive days with 4 days being the previous title holder. That was Gettysburg in April 2019.

As of last night he had not heard from his mother so I told him he could just stay with me until she reached out. Afterall she needed him gone to supposedly work on the house. He did mention last night that he was worried about the dog.

We went on 2 hikes yesterday in the rain. The first was 4 miles in the morning. We went to lunch and he asked about doing a second one in the afternoon.

This morning we had reservations to go kayaking. On the drive his mother texted him and asked if he would be home today. This was the return date her and I had discussed anyway. So he asked me how he should respond.

I asked him what he wanted to do. Initially I had wanted to return him on Monday because I have to take him to get lab work done. He said he wanted to go home and I replied that was fine. I told him to tell his mom he would be home at 5pm.

Kayaking was a lot more enjoyable today at 70 degrees. This course was a bit shorter at 2 hours since the other packages were sold out. S18 had his fill of turtles 🐢 as they were out along the banks sunbathing. This one was a 3 mile course.

We paddled 7 miles on Monday and that may have been a bit long for him. So I had him out in nature for 8 consecutive days and he seemed to respond to it positively as I left him plenty of time to do his own thing (computer) in the evening.

 Its important he keeps his doctor appointment on Monday so all I can do is offer to drive him to it. If he misses it then its on him.

His mother was not home when we arrived of course. She left a door unlocked for him and every window open. She had a large high school banner on the front lawn that is from S21 and the 2019 school year. I know I buried that in the shed so that means she emptied it out.

She loves to advertise to the public. Meanwhile our son still has no diploma because she hasn't paid her tuition. I was annoyed for a bit as I looked at the manicured lawn all of a sudden. Yep I need that house to be sold. Its starting to annoy me.

Its also little moments like this where I just shake my head with S18. He is rushing home for an empty house ? Ok, maybe he misses his mom. IDK....

That lawn banner is not even the name of the school anymore. It changed names in 2019, lol.

Enjoy your day

Thank you
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« Last Edit: June 12, 2021, 03:34:17 PM by Watcher »

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BRAND NEW MAN 12
#109: June 13, 2021, 11:46:30 PM
Hmmmm ... Rushing back to an empty house...



Maybe concerned about the dog?

But still... ... I hear the clock ticking in your favor though.... It is a matter of (yep< I'm going to say that 4-letter word) - TIME
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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

 

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