[mcm64d]

Just a bit of journaling.

This week I finally caved in and contacted my lawyer to help finish off the divorce process and get the money I am owed per HER Property Settlement Agreement. Just got really tired of hoping to see the divorce decree everyday in the mailbox and the having to call the county to see if she had done told her months ago needed to be done. Why she lied to me and told me that the county on numerous times told her it just needed to go through the proper channels is so frustrating but now its not a worry- unless she refuses to sign the affidavit.

All of this additional nonsense on top of a needless divorce over a freakin 2 page document........but thankfully I had the sense to move it on. Now up to her to sign.....finger crossed:)

Hoping everyone here is having as good of a day as possible.

[mcm64d]

…. And just to show how ridiculous all this is and how childish I suppose, I get a call from my lawyer this morning. There is a large box of stuff to pick up and he actually chuckled while saying it. Made me chuckle too….. but truth be told I am a little scared.
What could be in the box? Belongings I’m sure I really do not want to see. May be a long day today.

[WHY]

…. And just to show how ridiculous all this is and how childish I suppose, I get a call from my lawyer this morning. There is a large box of stuff to pick up and he actually chuckled while saying it. Made me chuckle too….. but truth be told I am a little scared.
What could be in the box? Belongings I’m sure I really do not want to see. May be a long day today.

[mcm64d]

Crisis averted. Tax records, the money she owed me, two dinner plates from England that were from my mother (she told me about these as she was clearing out the house after I moved out- but I told her to get rid of them because I did not want to see her), and the program from my college graduation.

Why would she be nice enough to keep onto these for me. The plates were wrapped up in bubble wrap and could withstand nuclear war and the program was in a clear folder to preserve it. I just do not get this woman, but at least it was a nice gesture!!

[mcm64d]

So today is the three year anniversary of my mother-in-law passing away, which i believe started my wife's MLC.

The only family member I have contact with is her grandmother (the mother-in-law's mother). I reached out by text today to send my thoughts and asked if there was anything I could do.

She was so glad to hear from me and we exchanged messages for about a half hour. It basically ended by her telling me she is going to move nearer her nieces in Tennessee or Florida. It is because her family here in Pennsylvania is not the same. The grandmother told me that her daughter (my mother-in-law) was the glue behind the family and that since she passed it all has changed.

At 83 she is now leaving behind her son and her two granddaughters (one is my ex-wife) and says she can take care of herself. I told I never doubted it but I doubt the others can. She agreed.

I am getting angrier as I continue to think about this. I want to do something for her to make these issues go away. Whatever they are doing, it simply is not right. I know there is little I can do but do any of you have any advice? Is there a way I can help?

[Nas]

 I know there is little I can do but do any of you have any advice? Is there a way I can help?

You know there's little you can do, but eventually you will get to the place where you know there's nothing for you to do here. This isn't yours. Might be a good exercise for you to ask yourself honestly why you are getting angry and seeking to act on someone else's behalf who hasn't even expressed a need or desire for help. Sometimes when trying to hold onto an attachment we know we need to let go of, we look for reasons to not let go.

Your wife's grandmother sounds not only perfectly capable of taking care of herself, she sounds like she's made a firm decision to actually do that, to remove herself from one situation and go somewhere closer to other family members where the situation would be better for her. Good on her, I say. At 83, it sounds like she's taking care of her own needs and making decisions not based in codependency or clinging to relationships that have proven no longer entirely healthy for her. So when you say "whatever they are doing, it simply is not right," you might learn a lot about yourself and which direction will take you toward full healing by asking what exactly you believe they're "doing," doing to whom, why it "isn't right," and why you feel you should intervene in any way in a situation this seemingly very independent grandmother has already resolved for herself.

[mcm64d]

Hi NAS,
Yes I thought about that but I’m more concerned about what my father in law did to start this stupidity 30 some years any and the grandmothers son for coming up small as usual. But you’re right, as usual. Thank you!!!