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Author Topic: My Story Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred

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My Story Re: Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#100: January 15, 2023, 06:49:55 AM
Thanks for the update, UM. While I haven't posted an update in a long time (but am planning on doing so sometime), I have continued reading on this site.

I am so sorry for what your S has been going through. :-(  It does hurt me to see how much some of our children suffer when their families are broken up.

Does your S already have any idea what he wants to do professionally? Having a longer-term goal may help him stay on track.

Does he have any interests other than being in front of a screen (I know, can be a tough one with teens) where he could make new friends? Any sport he is interested in or an after-school activity offered by the school? Not having good friendships in his class or at least at the school is probably quite hard on him.

Supposedly he lived with you and changed schools, would he still have some friends from his time living in the neighborhood who would attend the same school he would go to?

I'll keep my fingers crossed that your S will be able to plough through this hard time. And that his mom will keep her side of the contract and not give in letting him stay home for minor ailments.
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Me: 51 (43 at BD1)
H: 57 (48 at BD1)
D: 14 (6 at BD1)
Met in 1995, married since 2000
BD 1: August 2014
BD 2: October 2015, H moved abroad
August 2018: Received divorce papers in the mail unexpectedly
May 2019: H gave up his job and moved about 1.5 hours to where D11 (at the time) and I live
Divorced: January 2020
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#101: January 22, 2023, 11:54:57 AM
Hi UM,

I have also having challenges with my own D15 so dealing with 15 year olds can be really challenging.   Especially when you have MLCers who enable the kids makes our it even more difficult to deal with.   Sounds like you are doing your best to set the rules and it's up to S15 to figure things out.

Seems that phases of life can be temporary.  Hope your S15 can move to the next phase and that the rules help him to move on.

HF
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#102: January 23, 2023, 01:18:42 AM
Just a short update because S15 got his report card last week


and it wasn't nearly as bad as he/we expected. He got passing grades in French and German (he is a German native-speaker but his grammar is the typical Internet - everything lower case, nothing written completely, punctuation? what's that?), a satisfactory in English and Math (funny his grade in English is better than German), good in Politics and Business, Chemistry, Sports and an excellent in Religion so it is not as much gloom and doom as it appeared initially ...



Even small successes are a success and a step forward for him...
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Divorce final 30 August 2019
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#103: January 23, 2023, 04:26:12 AM
That’s great news UM!  It’s the little successes that build into consistent actions over time.  Bravo to your son and wishing him the best.

HF
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#104: February 02, 2023, 10:08:26 PM
Good to read an update UM.  Looks like things are improving for your S.  Hopefully he and xw and continue sticking to the improvement plan.

Wow, it's so hard to believe that your D is 12 now.  I know they grow up but it seems like yesterday she was still so little.
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Re: Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#105: June 10, 2023, 08:20:16 AM
Happy Birthday, Big Bear!

Hope you have a wonderful day!   ;D

Congrats to your son.
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Re: Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#106: June 12, 2023, 01:15:57 AM
Happy Birthday, Big Bear!

Hope you have a wonderful day!   ;D

Congrats to your son.

Thank you Thunder!

It was a wonderful weekend going on a bicycle tour from Rothenburg ob der Tauber to Dinkelsbühl and back (about 75 miles round trip in 2 days).

As far as S16 goes, he is doing better and better. He got a C on his last French exam and a B+ in his last German test so it looks like he had turned the corner. He was with the Confirmation Group from our church on a "pilgrimage" to Canterbury Cathedral in the UK over the past weekend and was having a good time....
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Me - 61, xW - 54
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BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
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Divorce final 30 August 2019
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Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#107: September 25, 2023, 05:16:59 AM
Something odd is going on with the Forum. There are two blocks of posts missing, one block from 13-20 June and one from 05-13 June.... My thread was one that got "disappeared."

So, short update. D12 changed schools to the one where S16 is for the start of the year and is MUCH happier, has made 4 new friends including one on the very first day. At her old school, she didn't have anyone that was really a friend. S16 is the typical teenage boy.... "Oh yeah dad. We'll go to the gym on Tuesday..."(Tuesday comes) "When will you be here to go to the gym?" "Oh, I'm not feeling all that great. Let's just skip it tonight..."  ::)  Same way with coming on the weekend... but he has no trouble complaining to his IC that I don't have time for him.... ::) ::)

Teenagers - can't live with 'em and ya can't hang 'em by their toes from the ceiling fan either....

S16, D12, and MLCxW have all supposedly been dealing with a stomach bug over the last weeks (that is MLCxW's go-to excuse when she doesn't want to do something) but S16 had no problems last weekend going out with me on a motorcycle tour and eating a grilled sausage and french fries.... At least he was in school the whole week....

Since my last update (whenever that was), I was involved in supporting the pre-launch of the Indian Space Research Organizations (ISRO) Lunar mission as Deputy and the ADITYA L-1 Solar Observatory as Prime Ground Ops Manager so had to burn a LOT of overtime afterwards.... Took 3 weeks off and still have about 75 hours of OT on the books... ::) but both went off well so that was good...

Other than that, it has been quiet. MLCxW is still quietly wallowing away but at least we are able to co-parent well. She is still quite wrapped in in herself so, when the kids are with me, they get experiences in things like cooking things that don't come out of a bag, how to repair a flat on a bicycle, how to clean a bathroom (MLCxW has a cleaning person that comes in and does all that for her/them, I don't), you know... Day-to-day life skills.... D12 still hates to ride her bike (or do anything really active) but at the same time, she was the one that wanted to go to the swimming pool or to the Tree Climbing Center or on a Motorcycle ride. As soon as she is not doing SOMETHIGN though, out comes the phone and she is on it like flies on a dead bunny - mostly reading some Anime thing but on her phone. S16 is not a lot better but he is more interested in "doing" stuff that is active....

Their older dog had to be put to sleep because he had cancer in the lower intestine so, long before that happened, they got a new dog (there were then 2 in the house) who was a street dog in Romania. Now that the older dog is gone, MLCxW decided they needed to get a cat too so they got a kitten whose favorite past time is to sit and stress out the three parakeets they have.... ::)  Why she thought that would be a good idea is beyond me... but it is what she wanted so ....

Not my circus, not my Monkeys.. or dogs... or cats.... or birds...

Not much more to say. R and I just celebrated 4 years from our first "date" last week, we go to dance class on a weekly basis, she will have to go into an inpatient physical therapy setting for about a month because her hand/wrist that was broken in an accident 2 years ago February is still unstable. They did an Artho-CT last week and the repairs they did on the tendons and all are OK but she never got the after OP care needed to rebuild the strength and stability she needs as a Kindergarten teacher. Of course, it was her right hand and she is right handed so .... She needs to get this done because the insurance of the person that caused the accident int eh first place is putting on pressure to get out of paying. If this does NOT work and she ends up with permanent damage, that needs to be known before the claim time runs out because then they will be stuck paying whatever difference between her full-time work and what she is able to do for the next 10 years until she can retire.

My mom (87) fell and broker her hip in July, had replacement surgery and is already back up and walking. Last week, the docs cleared her to walk without a cane and she is pretty much back to her old self. She said that she was "not going to be one of those little old ladies that fell, broke her hip and then sat around until she got pneumonia and died."  :o  She also lost 10 lbs (5 kgs) because of the "horrible" hospital and rehab facility food and said that she was never so glad to be able to cook for herself and her husband before.... I had to laugh at that....

And that is all the news from the Bear's Den.....

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Me - 61, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 17, D - 13
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#108: September 26, 2023, 05:40:43 AM
Hello Ursa,

Was lovely to read an update from you.

Yes teenagers. I was fortunate to just have one. When she was 16, I would have given her away! I used to drive her to school and those 7 minutes in the morning, well, I would have to cram all I wanted to say to her as the rest of the time she was off in her own world. We laugh about it now.  ;D

These injuries!!! Glad you mom has bounced back ( I too don't want to be hat she was one of those little old ladies that fell, broke her hip and then sat around until she got pneumonia and died.) but I do find that as I age, there are all sorts of issues to contend with.

Glad to hear the things are good with you and R and hope she heals soon as well.

Lots happening in the space world these days. It must be quite exciting...the asteroid that they just retrieved. It seems like several of my friend's kids are studying aerospace engineering...exciting times!

Thanks for all that you do for HS and for the amazing responses that you give to others. Truly you and I know, how a few words from someone we don't know in response to our writings on our threads  can really help us through the day....as Joe Cocker sang, "I get by with a little help from my friends", even those we have never met in person!
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« Last Edit: September 26, 2023, 05:41:44 AM by xyzcf »
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#109: October 02, 2023, 07:41:17 PM
I drop in occasionally - thanks for the update, UM. 

Your life sounds quite busy, as always.  Nice to read that you still are getting out on the motorcycle and that your kids enjoy it as well.  I was on the Harley this past weekend enjoying fall colors.  I love this time of year.   

I'm still teaching and am going to become a first time grandmother in February! 

I also am appreciative of all you do behind the scenes here on THS.   Thanks!
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Together 15 years - married 7 years
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After all, tomorrow is another day.

 

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