Skip to main content
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 16  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Discussion Anyone else have a vanisher? 15

I
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 166
  • Gender: Female
Discussion Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#20: April 05, 2018, 08:44:30 PM
Attaching on this new thread!
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1587
  • Gender: Female
  • Mlc- Cake eater for 3 yr now vanisher
Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#21: April 06, 2018, 02:11:24 AM
Quote from: nah on April 05, 2018, 05:22:17 PM
Quote from: Yellowroseoftexas on April 05, 2018, 10:16:04 AM

I read somewhere that vanisher pay close attention to us, we don't realize it.  I pray that's true.

I read that many years ago but thought, "oh no, not mine, he avoids me like the plague....not only does he not pay attention, he works very hard to pretend I don't exist"

How wrong I was....

Last year when we met several times for financial reasons... we had hours long lunches once a week for about six weeks.  Now we barely met between BD and divorce, and when we did it was all business.  I begged, pleaded, all that crap to meet weekly after BD, nope he wouldn't do that.... but now here we were chatting normally like nothing ever happened.

He knew who I was seeing, who I was no longer seeing, he knew places I had been, things about my work  :o,...

He knew EVERYTHING about my boyfriend.... where he went to school, where he lived, who his friends were,... what he drove  :o

Finally I asked him if he was keeping a notebook and he stopped....

I was floored with all the things he knew,... this was about 3 1/2 years after BD and he knew every step I had made from week one.

Oh yes, they are watching...

So make sure you live big and loud, so you can savor the deliciousness of them eating their hearts out.

I don’t know how my h would be watching. He has nothing to do with his family or friends, his family don’t communicate with me and the children either. He doesn’t do social media, he doesn’t speak to our kids, s15 and d13. Ow stalks my social media so I have deactivated it. H only has ow and her friends as he no longer speaks to ow parents either.

I feel he no longer knows anything about his kids or who they are which was evident in a b Day card to d13 which was more for a 5 yr old.

I find with vanishers there is not much to report so I don’t update my thread that much so I don’t get replies much on my personal thread. I am so glad of this thread. Xx
  • Logged
Me 55
H56
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1587
  • Gender: Female
  • Mlc- Cake eater for 3 yr now vanisher
Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#22: April 06, 2018, 02:33:46 AM
Quote from: Ro828 on April 05, 2018, 07:10:03 PM
I would like to know why also. How can they easily leave their wife but can't leave the OW.  My X didn't show weakness when he up and left me, bought a new house with her and basically built a different life.   It doesn't make sense. 

(I hope my X's new life "makes him sick" because the beauty he aligned himself with is riddled with issues.  If he couldn't deal with me who doesn't have a third of her issues what makes him believe he can deal with her.)

Ow certainly has more issues than me but would she doesn’t have is kids, apparently it’s quiet at hers and he can do what he likes when he likes. Ow also has time to stroke his ego and pander to his needs such as warming his slippers! That’s obviously where I went wrong, I can cook and I didn’t warm his slippers! Xx
  • Logged
Me 55
H56
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

nah

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 7253
  • Gender: Female
  • His mlc...too bad for him
Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#23: April 06, 2018, 12:32:44 PM
RP-  you are really early in the vanishing game.

Time will tell with yours. 

  • Logged
H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com
b
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1473
  • Gender: Female
Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#24: April 06, 2018, 12:59:18 PM
    You didnt warm his slippers. Well that explains everything. The coward accused me of laughing at a poem he wrote me when we were dating. 20 years ago. Yup, we all had this coming to us because of those sane and rational reasons.
  • Logged

nah

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 7253
  • Gender: Female
  • His mlc...too bad for him
Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#25: April 06, 2018, 01:32:57 PM
I say this all the time but it really would be refreshing if just one of them said, "I'm a selfish pr!ck and I just want to runaway like a child"
  • Logged
H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1587
  • Gender: Female
  • Mlc- Cake eater for 3 yr now vanisher
Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#26: April 07, 2018, 04:49:38 AM
For them to say anything nah would be something. Not even a kiss my a**e xx
  • Logged
Me 55
H56
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 196
  • Gender: Female
  • I HAVE 2 CHOICES-BE HAPPY OR BE HAPPY
Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#27: April 07, 2018, 05:47:23 AM
I'm loving this thread. 

I'M LIVING AS LOUD AS A SMOKING HOT 54 YEAR OLD WOMAN WHO IS THE BEST SHE CAN BE CAN LIVE.  Not a bad life.   

I have never felt a need to revisit people and places that are no longer part of my life.  End of chapter and I move on.  This could be viewed as a vanisher I suppose. 



  • Logged
Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton

nah

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 7253
  • Gender: Female
  • His mlc...too bad for him
Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#28: April 07, 2018, 04:25:33 PM
Quote from: Yellowroseoftexas on April 07, 2018, 05:47:23 AM

I'M LIVING AS LOUD AS A SMOKING HOT 54 YEAR OLD WOMAN WHO IS THE BEST SHE CAN BE CAN LIVE. 

Love this.  Nothing sexier than confidence. 
  • Logged
H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1587
  • Gender: Female
  • Mlc- Cake eater for 3 yr now vanisher
Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#29: April 12, 2018, 02:51:17 AM
Vanisher is still vanished. I had the amended divorce petition which was wrong and had to be sent back again so I emailed a rant. Told him to get his s**t together and sort it and contact his kids.

I felt stupid after.
Has anyone else emailed then felt stupid after?

I felt stupid as I know I won’t get a reply and he will dig his heels in even more. 😠
  • Logged
Me 55
H56
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 16  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.