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Author Topic: My Story What am I dealing with here?

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My Story What am I dealing with here?
#130: April 17, 2024, 09:21:55 PM
So, I got to a point where I just did all the divorce work myself. I had the advantage of having worked for a divorce attorney for 3 years, but in my case he didn't want to spend a small fortune either. I laid it all out on a spreadsheet, said you take this and I'll take that and it's about even and he agreed. I made him file first and I responded. Hardest part was getting his financials because he thought he was hiding money from me, but I knew it was there and preemptively  balanced the other bank accounts and he either didn't notice or was OK with it. Since mine spent 20000+ in one month, I wanted the finances settled. I was more than fair.

My advice? Don't wait. Get your financials settled and make her have to pay her attorney from her share. If your attorney is decent, they will do their best to speed up what they can. If you are ready for it, sometimes it's good to be done.

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When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!
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What am I dealing with here?
#131: April 30, 2024, 03:50:26 PM
This continues to drag on.... It's been over 2 months since W paid a retainer to a D attorney. W won't speak to me at all (she hasn't for months). She literally acts like I don't exist, ignoring me completely, all in front of the kids. In fact, we had to ride in the same car to one of our kids events, and she demanded to ride in the back seat, LOL. This just keeps getting stranger and stranger. 

We need to have some urgent discussions around financial budgeting, and she wont even answer any of my emails or texts to her (remember, she won't speak to me). So, I'm left to attempt budgeting alone, which is impossible, since she's the one who spends all the money on kids stuff, groceries, etc.

My guess - I think she had an inflated idea of what she'd be able to get out of a divorce (money and custody), and her lawyer bursted that bubble.  I think she's left in a pit of having ruined a relationship with her H and oldest S, and knowing that her life will not be as cushy as she thought post D. I think she's seriously stuck. It's so, so, sad.

The only way out for her is to either "repent" and repair relationships (which she's much too prideful to do), or to move forward with a D and damage her relationships even further, and rebuild her life alone, which will be very tough.

This is some very strange liminal space I'm living in right now my friends.
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