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Author Topic: My Story New life here I come...

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My Story New life here I come...
#130: March 08, 2021, 12:37:06 AM
This is blame-shifting and nothing more. He screwed up and doesn't want to accept responsibility so he finds ways to make everything your fault (nothing new there, eh? Same old Stuff)

OR has it right that he is simply trying to cover his own a$$

He deserves nothing more than
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Me - 59, xW - 51
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 15, D - 11
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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New life here I come...
#131: March 08, 2021, 02:18:03 AM
I'm not sure that any of us entirely stop caring, Rope. This was our family, our life, our marriage, our own history....and it got blown up into a million incomprehensible pieces by someone who acted like an angry stranger but wore the face of someonevwe had loved and trusted. I just think we stop expecting anything better or different from these strangers we used to love....and so we get hurt less bc we are not disappointed when they behave like mean, crappy, irrational, toxic folks.

Which is sad and sensible at the same time. Please don't let yourself believe that any vet here, no matter how much good stuff is in their new life or how strong they seem, does not have those occasional moments of residual shock or hurt or sadness. Or that you are 'failing' if you do. Actually, you are just being normal after the WTF ending to a long marriage and a previous family life. It isn't normal to discard your family as if they are nothing and to still behave with anger and blame about a situation you created for yourself and others. And sounds as if your xh has not in fact found his 'magic happy', doesn't it? Still angry, still blaming, still lying and still not holding himself accountable for his own actions. Bc of course it makes no sense at all to blame someone who is no longer even in your life....but these unhappy dysfunctional folks seem to do so for years which tbh is probably how their karma unfolds. And gosh, he must be tons of fun to live with  ::)....which is probably owife's karma showing up lol.

Let the feelings wash through, Rope. It's normal but it will pass.
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« Last Edit: March 08, 2021, 02:21:01 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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#132: March 09, 2021, 06:02:47 PM
Um and Treasur,Off Road, and all that read

Thank you for stopping by and the support.  Um. He is brilliant when it comes to shifting blame or covering his butt.
  Off Road.
  Darn tootin right its my well earned paycheck, even though he says because I draw disability,and he had to pay off car ...and house 🏠  ( I had a good lawyer that despised cheaters) so he had to pay .. Ever heard would have been cheaper to keep her? Lol
 Treasur
 Thank you for saying everyone no matter probably still has bad days ,cause I feel so dumb for it still hurting and surprising me ,how he acts now🙄. But when he hurts My Kids ,no matter how old they are ,I will not keep my big mouth shut . When my adult son got tears in his eyes and said mm ,dad forgot my birthday again.  Let me tell you I see firtrucking red.
   If my daughter had not told him ,he would have not remembered until daughters Bday.
  I know its not all sunshine and roses in their new marraige. Knew it for a fact when he told friends he misses me and maybe he acted to quickly ...hmmm YOU THINK  . When it started with them she was also married ,go figure . I have done a lot of ,we will call it research , lol . He moved her up here to his new little home the weekend he left me. He paid the bill for moving ,name escapes me,company,with a check big dumb azz. The lawyer had requested his bank info I didn't look at it til recently 😳 hurt to much ,but when I saw that shyt plus where he had stayed at a motel when he was supposed to be fishing,not once but 3 frigging times,yeah fishing alright with the worm God gave him lmao. Needless to say my heart bout burst then came the fury,not anger im talking red faced veins bulging fury.
   I felt betrayed and dumb all over again . I had been doing very well since then ,oh and the std test ,I had Dr run thank goodness it was fine ,I think I would have slashed his tires put sugar in his tank or something ,I would have done something dumb like that .Oh BTW I now know where stupid lives lol 😆 🤣  Its on the checks he sends when he has to have her help 😂 love it 😀 His checking account shows a p.o.box so I know when she has to help ,the pleasure I get from that is evil I guess 👿👹 but I laugh all the way to the bank.

  Anyways sorry for the long winded rant ,but felt good . I'm so glad I have somewhere to come and spew like that,when needed. And don't get me wrong when friends told me he missed me I laughed and still do . My heart broke when he left I hope his does too. I am mean lol I'm human and very blunt if I think it or feel it I say it ,thats just me .

 I was told once to be careful and not let my Alligator mouth over run my Mickey mouse ass  lol So I looked at them and said have u seen my ass? I think I got this lol


Hugs to all and ty for being here


 
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Re: New life here I come...
#133: March 10, 2021, 04:17:20 AM
Rope, I got a laugh from your last paragraph!  I agree with Treasur, no matter how many years since BD or how well we are doing in our new lives, we can still get minor set backs. Luckily our new found skills allow us to cycle back up quickly. I will still get very angry when my H behaves unfairly to one of my kids. That brings out my anger instinctively. Luckily, it's usually one massive swear word done in the bathroom. 
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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#134: March 10, 2021, 05:14:46 AM
Milly
 
   Oh my I may have been drinking a little 😳 😅.  Thank you for stopping by and reading my rant ,and letting me know the set backs are somewhat normal,
  My kids are grown but they are still his and my children and I'm 55 and still need my mom . Not like I did but so grateful I still have her . So yeah you want to see the red neck ,vein popping mad woman hurt my kids .
  I can't help to laugh when he gets a taste of karma ,just hope karma stays away from me  lol.

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New life here I come...
#135: March 10, 2021, 05:42:12 AM
I was told once to be careful and not let my Alligator mouth over run my Mickey mouse ass  lol So I looked at them and said have u seen my ass? I think I got this lol

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Me - 59, xW - 51
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 15, D - 11
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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  • Posts: 1181
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  • I am surviving and going foward
New life here I come...
#136: March 10, 2021, 07:18:45 PM
Um
 Lol thanks that was super funny needed the laugh (glad mouth was empty)
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New life here I come...
#137: March 11, 2021, 12:46:14 AM
Um
 Lol thanks that was super funny needed the laugh (glad mouth was empty)

Glad to be of service!  ;D

Better to laugh than the alternative
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Me - 59, xW - 51
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 15, D - 11
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

s
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New life here I come...
#138: April 07, 2021, 02:36:03 AM
Catching up

I can categorically say, even tho I’m not sad about the breakup anymore. I do a fairly good job of moving on and living my best life. Certain things still semi trigger me. I’m always says “makes me laugh how he does x”. It’s not a laugh like haha that’s so funny. But we’re human. We have emotions. That’s why we feel things.
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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New life here I come...
#139: April 12, 2021, 04:10:08 AM
Sachat3

  Thank you ,. I haven't been doing well health wise and I think a lot of it is due to stress . I'm good now emotionally, I wish to all thats holy that I didn't live right in front of his mom. I'm going to get everything fixed up here and put it up for sale. I think that will help so much ,my mom owns 9 acres and I'm going to put a tiny home or small doublewide or fabricated home ,,,I hope that's the right word lol
  I'm mostly bed,couch with foot up right now . Its swollen and very painful ,,took blood to see if its gout,arthritis, or the worst infection around the bone,lord I hope not .

   I'm doing better emotionally though its hard sometimes,,,then I watch TV, he controlled that,or I take a long bath ,,,was a waste ,  or I buy butter pecan icecream,,nothing could have nuts,,lol its freeing . Ok I rambled on enough hugs


Hugs
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