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Author Topic: My Story •• Calm the crazy; Life after divorce

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My Story •• Calm the crazy; Life after divorce
#10: July 31, 2020, 06:55:00 PM
Following along STP.

I have to say that I'm relating more and more to your thread all the time!
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"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Together 28 years, married 27. Two adult kids, ours

BD #1: 2016 - EA  |  BD #2: 2018 - FA

W moved out - June 2019 | OM#3 - July 2019
W asks for divorce - August 2019 | Divorce final - September 2019 | Moving on

My thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11537.new#new

New Here? Read this! http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1149.0

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•• Calm the crazy; Life after divorce
#11: August 01, 2020, 06:38:24 AM
Hello,

Quote
I have to say that I'm relating more and more to your thread all the time!

Nooooooo, Noooooooo! This man is crazy. He makes Steve Martin look like a calm and cool dude. STP is the new "wild and crazy guy". PJ you don't need to go to the dark side. Come back before it's too late.

LOL

((((Ready))))

PS- NAS's advice was amazing and anything we can do to help others that are suffering is always a plus!
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"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

STP

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#12: August 17, 2020, 05:49:08 AM
Thanks for replies Nas, PJ and Ready. Covid has really dampened my crazy antics!

Most of the makeup went to the seven women who came over for it. I still have some left and will get around to boxing it up. Not much has been happening other than work and seeing KA weekends. I clearly can see a division in my friends on Facebook, between those who take the virus seriously and those who continue to party and attend social gatherings. I have logged out of meetup and do not plan to attend any of those backyard gatherings. KA and I secretly hope some of those people catch it with their blatant negligence. My buddy JS being one of them and MM almost as bad. I denied MM coming over last week for such a reason as she has been wanting to go to the beach, watch a movie or even go out to dinner with me. MM wanted to see me yesterday but the kids S18 and  S20 and I went to the beach. We also have started playing a game again together with S25 that we stopped in 2017. Probably short lived as S18 will go away to college on Friday. XW will take him although he will have his car too. XW called me last night to discuss the cost of paying for his dorm and food. We also talked of S27s birthday tomorrow. She says the kids are generally rude to her except S25.

Friday night at KAs house, as we were heading to bed, my phone beeped and KA was right there to hand it to me and see the message "DC has sent you a video." She curiously asked what it was. I lied and said (without watching it) that it was some political humor when I could see in the preview it was a video message to me. Well that made me quite nervous! The next day I found some bathroom time alone to see it was DC tipsy on wine, saying she was thinking of me and wishing I was knocking on her door right at that moment.  :-X Interest still there.

This week looks to be a bit busier. KA will be over Tuesday. I know I'll hear from MM trying to see me and I plan to get together with my four sons to celebrate S27s birthday before Friday when S18 leaves for college. This weekend KA and I going to Frederik Meijer Gardens & Sculpture Park in Grand Rapids. I've been there just 15 mins when years ago I ran in while vacationing with XW, OM and BF. Excited to visit this Leonardo Da Vincis horse.



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« Last Edit: August 17, 2020, 05:51:23 AM by STP »
M56 XW55
S30, S27, S23, S21
BDs 11-09 & 4-16
D 10-16

You are responsible for your own happiness!

STP

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#13: August 25, 2020, 08:25:22 AM
Blabbering on

Not much to say but I find journaling can clear my head. I had a great weekend with KA and enjoyed using a vacation day to extend the weekend for Monday off. I did see on Facebook pics from the singles groups Margaritaville party. Certain friends of mine going that give no iota of concern for the pandemic. Sadly MM and buddy JS included. I know the type there. They are either dumb people who, la-la-la want to dance and party all the time because they are airheads or are champions of, I LIVE IN NO FEAR and want to meet the virus and defeat it with my God given immune system. I cannot even talk to JS anymore as he is so pompous and we are now on opposite sides politically too as I'm leaning the other way for the first time. MM disappoints me but she is just a bar fly hanging out with my realtor/yoga instructor DS who is FAR right politically.
I wish there was justice or karma but as members of this board know too well, there isn't justice for wrong doing. There is a gang of people who feel that way. Friends, all of them, who all came to my last party in Feb. Perhaps that had much less to do with me and was just the next party to go to. Hey, I like to party too but I'm not rushing into social situations and against social distancing. Those people are antsy and can't sit at home, whereas I have all sorts of projects of enjoyment. I guess I'm ranting because I'm losing friends by not participating. XW and I VERY often said we're only as good as our last outing.
That STP dude... haven't seen him in 6 months.
Whatever. Reminds me of the past when XW was leaving. Of course now I have a gf and KA is good for me. A smart & caring woman. I had said often that I wouldn't stay in that group forevermore. Heck I'm not even logged in. I'm just gonna back away from all that social gathering stuff and work on me and do my things and be with KA. DC sent me a flirty video of herself eating a popsicle last night. It's a tease which is kinda annoying.
I saw a CH comment under someones post that she has a broken arm. She always was a klutz.

I hope you are all well 'n safe and finding enjoyment. We don't get these days back so live it up smartly.
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M56 XW55
S30, S27, S23, S21
BDs 11-09 & 4-16
D 10-16

You are responsible for your own happiness!

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#14: August 26, 2020, 05:22:56 AM
Hello,

Quote
Of course now I have a gf and KA is good for me. A smart & caring woman.

This is a time when you learn to appreciate what you have.

Quote
I'm just gonna back away from all that social gathering stuff and work on me and do my things and be with KA.

Isn't that called living your life the way you want to live?

Quote
That STP dude... haven't seen him in 6 months.

And know that you can jump right back in without missing a beat.

Quote
I hope you are all well 'n safe and finding enjoyment. We don't get these days back so live it up smartly.

Living smartly is the point. I don't laugh at the virus and I don't live in complete fear. However, I have a healthy respect for what's going on and I try to take all the precautions I can. Mask, hand sanitizer/wash frequently and no large gatherings. Last weekend, my wife, daughter and Son in Law spent the day with my parents celebrating their 60th anniversary. It was a toned down affair for such a big event, but we made the most of it. My dad is 83 and my mom will be 80 in November, no sense in getting a bunch of people together to get them sick.

I guess that is living smartly. Have a great day, crazy man

((((Ready)))))
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"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

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#15: September 03, 2020, 11:40:44 AM
I don't have much to say so just journalling.

Thanks for the reply Ready. Things are good with me. It's nice that S18, S21 and S25 have regained an interest in coming over to game with me. Something we used to do regularly between nine-three years ago. It's already been discussed when S18 comes home from college for weekends he will come over Sunday for such get togethers.  :)

MM has been trying to get together and do something with me but as smartly as she preaches to be living regarding the virus, I see our standards are very different as she went to a party last weekend and will again this Saturday as well as be with friends for fireworks on FRI. This makes me not want to have anything to do with her. It's so easy to see who the smart people are and those that aren't so much. Stupid people don't know they are stupid. They act no different.

On facebook I asked friends to name one random fact about themselves. My realtor/beach yoga instructor DS said she was a two-time Miss Hawaiian tropic bikini winner. I sent her a message asking if she had any pics from back when. She sent me a current bikini pic. OK, I believe her.

I still receive my XWs emails regarding her jewelry business. Looks like shes's doing a few shows and living smart (regarding Covid). Glad to not be around her intensity. I like my freedoms and alone time. I've been busy trying to finish this RPG adventure book I wrote and raised over $670 to have printed. I should have copies next week for the backers. Other things I have going on are selling a whole lot of childhood toys on ebay. I'm close to listing having acquired boxes to mail them in and taken pictures. I also have a 'black light' wall in my office now but am two steps away from ceiling mounting the light bar. After that I may try recording some new songs? I haven't done much of any of that since a week after BD #2 four years ago.

No big plans this long weekend other than to go refrigerator shopping with KA as hers conked out. S28 will come to her house on SAT to set up her new wifi. Pizza and movie at my place then. I am starting to miss entertaining. Last year was my beach party this Labor Day weekend. sigh.
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« Last Edit: September 03, 2020, 11:44:07 AM by STP »
M56 XW55
S30, S27, S23, S21
BDs 11-09 & 4-16
D 10-16

You are responsible for your own happiness!

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#16: September 03, 2020, 01:09:29 PM
That STP dude... haven't seen him in 6 months.

Maybe not, but I am seeing an STP MAN emerging. It looks good on you. JMHO.
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When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

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#17: September 18, 2020, 09:06:26 AM
Journalling

Thanks for the comment OffRoad. Just living life how I want and remaining happy. Sometimes I feel like I have no business to keep posting here as I'm divorced and XW is happily remarried to the OM. If anything it's my journey in getting a life after the MLC years. For those of you who like to read, I write.

DC messaged me last week thanking me again for the awesome makeup samples I gave her and said if I ever needed someone to take more she's my gal. I had aspirations to sell them but offered the leftovers to her. She came over last week and we again shared a bottle of wine and I realized again how much of a talker she is. Difference between her and chatty JW is DC is not boring. I learned her bf is sick to the point he can't drive now and she has to go to IL when seeing him weekends. To be brief, we got passionate ;) in the 90 mins she was over. I took a couple pics of us for memories. There's an attraction but we're both with others and I don't see that changing. Just a  moment capsulized in time and we've not chatted once in the last ten days.

I have a lengthy to do list now that my book is published and mailed to backers, so I'm taking off the next two Mondays to get things done around the house. KAs turn for coming over this weekend and we will do our regular movie 'n pizza taste testing as well as head to IL for some hiking through canyons with waterfalls tomorrow. My Heroclix gamer kids and former nephew will probably be over Sunday to play with new 3D maps I picked up from my best friend one night.

I'm pretty much staying in my bubble and just doing my own thing with very little interaction. The mammoth Halloween party I went to the last few years is cancelled and mine as well, so just focussing on myself and doing my thing.
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« Last Edit: September 18, 2020, 09:09:31 AM by STP »
M56 XW55
S30, S27, S23, S21
BDs 11-09 & 4-16
D 10-16

You are responsible for your own happiness!

STP

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•• Calm the crazy; Life after divorce
#18: October 08, 2020, 07:46:30 AM
Journalling

Life going on. I went and saw my parents for my moms birthday as I hadn't since Christmas. It was a low key event and two of my four brothers came by too (the married ones with kids). I didn't invite my kids as my mom didn't want a big production out of it.

I had to outright lie to KA twice for the first time last weekend and I feel so bad doing so. Stupidly before DC came over last month to get the rest of the free makeup (and fool around), I put the bedroom pics of KA and I in my nightstand with the intent to put them back. KA asked where they were and if she had to look for mysterious hairs in the bed. I put them away to dust the nightstand top, although clearly no dusting occurred. That's because I didn't have the dusting things I use. sigh. If it was my XW she would persecuted me for hours to tear out the truth but KA let it go thankfully. Lesson learned! DC sent me some funny snapchat filter pics of herself last night and we texted a bit about her new cat.

S18, S21 and S25 have been coming over most Sundays for gaming with me. S18 told me XW is having a Halloween party this year. Shocking for a couple reasons with the first being the pandemic still relevant. I can see her saying this year has been so hard on her that she needs a reason to celebrate. She was never one to be responsible. Instead of paying her $800 phone bill, she had us go to Jamaica instead.  :D In the 14 Halloween parties we hosted, I did EVERYTHING. She never hung even one decoration. I'm sure OM will try his best but he ain't me. The only decorations she took in the D where ceramic and paper things suitable for a fireplace mantle. I have the bulk 250 lbs. I imagine S21 will help them as he did me the last few years. smh.

This weekend I'm going to KAs and we have no plans. On the 18th I scheduled a peak colors nature hike but invited photographers instead of friends. Theres a woman I Facebook friended online CRY (married) whom encouraged me to host something to meet people as she's new to Indiana. Will mask up or keep socially distant. Might invite MM and JS as they are hikers to fill out a small group.
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« Last Edit: October 08, 2020, 08:07:46 AM by STP »
M56 XW55
S30, S27, S23, S21
BDs 11-09 & 4-16
D 10-16

You are responsible for your own happiness!

STP

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#19: October 22, 2020, 10:55:33 AM
Journalling

Life going on. Due to rain, I cancelled my photographer hike which woulda just been two people. I'm okay with it as I went out the previous weekend to get some fall color pics on my own.

I haven't seen any friends since the first week of August other than DC six weeks ago. Buddy JS has a new job and MM is in school. I've had friends move away too so even when we can socially get together things are gonna be different. I've been okay with it. I've been doing things around the house most notably selling old 40 yr old toys on Ebay grossing over $900! Last night I was up too late working on a song for my fifth album. I haven't made much music since the D.

S18 told me XW cancelled her Halloween party. What was she thinking? We all wish we could but not this year.

Tomorrow is my 54th birthday and I took the day offa work... just because. I will go to KAs this weekend to celebrate together as her birthday was yesterday. She's 6 years younger. For tonight I invited my four kids to come over for dinner. On Halloween night I'll go over there and help hand out candy. Little fun things that bring smiles.

I hope you're all well.

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« Last Edit: October 22, 2020, 10:57:19 AM by STP »
M56 XW55
S30, S27, S23, S21
BDs 11-09 & 4-16
D 10-16

You are responsible for your own happiness!

 

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