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Our Community / Just Getting Started in This Journey 4
« Latest by UrsaMajor on October 09, 2026, 07:26:50 AM »
This is always the crux of the deal, the crucial question....

The wisdom of the ages says that, even if  the LBS and MLC'er DO come back together, the relationship is 100% new because neither party comes through that forge fire of Hades without making some radical changes. We are simply not who we were once upon a time and, assuming the Mid-Lifer has done the work they need to do to work through/exorcise the demons they are/were dealing with, they will have dramatically altered as well. If they have NOT doe the required work, well then.... Wash, rinse, repeat....
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Our Community / Just Getting Started in This Journey 4
« Latest by OffRoad on October 08, 2026, 08:38:43 PM »
Good that you are finding yourself. If whatever you become meshes with whatever she becomes, then great. But if not, you will be in a good place no matter what. I know I have a totally different case because what my xh became is nothing I would ever have looked at twice. Unless something drastic happens, we could never be together because I have no respect for what he is at this time.

It is awesome you are standing, yet not standing still. Have you any plans to go places with the kids?
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And....it's that time of year again. I am amazed at how NON accessible friendly things are.  I mean, I get it. Handicapped people are all different so nothing really fits everyone. Yes, I said it. I am handicapped in an able bodied world. I am NOT disabled. Who thought that was less offensive? But I digress.

I bit the bullet and purchased a new to me vehicle. A 2016 Toyota Sienna with 24,000 miles on it. No accidents, great shape. Only disadvantage is the Blizzard Pearl paint.  We'll see how that goes.  Must have been stored in a garage somewhere. So the first thing I had to do was take it on a road trip. I ended up in Washington state where I saw a Stonehenge replica (https://www.maryhillmuseum.org/outside/stonehenge-memorial), lots of waterfalls (Oregon), several very large wooden trolls (https://www.thomasdambo.com/), some petroglyphs and took a ferry ride. The van did splendidly, as I was able to load my folding wheelchair and lift in to the back, add my folding wagon, all my gear ( because there is a 50/50 chance I will end up with a hotel room that isn't REALLY accessible) and the wonderful thing: I could put my Veloped Trek (https://www.trionic.us/en/veloped-trek-c-10/} right behind the drivers seat and get it in and out with hardly any effort. Between that and the seat that pushes itself back and lets me get myself out without tangling my legs, it was a good investment. Now I have to find a good home for the 2008 Highlander. The 2007 4runner will be buried with me.

I met up with my friend and we had a great time. It really brought home how much I am NOT a trendy kind of person and how hard it is to find real people who aren't so busy trying to be "happy" with whatever the latest and greatest what-have-you is.

Prior to taking my trip, I got to have some quality game playing time with S27 (He actually contacted me and wanted to know if I wanted to play with him.) and D came to look for a wedding dress (which we found), so life in general is good.

I have no idea how xh is. How about that? 


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Our Community / Re: Just Getting Started in This Journey 4
« Latest by Baxter1 on October 07, 2026, 10:55:34 PM »
Journaling:

Kind of a good update. We still have regular contact which is great but the update is more about myself. As I go through this journey and do the inner work I find that I am happier. I am resolving old wounds and fears and discovering myself. It’s a great journey, the start was pretty rocky but here I am. Living a new life with new(and old) friends, trying new things and enjoying myself. I loved the old life but this new life is good as well.
My new concern is if we do end up coming back together, will the new me and the new her work out? We will be two very different people from who we once were. Time will tell what happens but I am open for any possibility, still standing but Baxter and I are ready for anything.
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Our Community / 10 years coming up
« Latest by toomanytearss on October 07, 2026, 11:48:24 AM »
Thank you all.  I know you aren’t here in person but being here in spirit is a great help to me!!!   
I had them take out the pic line.  It was causing pain in my arm.  The nurse said aggravating the vein.  I had no home health.  Had to do my ileostomy myself.  But I’m doing pretty good with that.  My mlc’r handled the iv fluids in the pic line until it was removed. 
I just got my chemo port put in my chest yesterday.  I’m recovering from that and the next step is chemo. 
So far I’m doing ok.  Will see how it goes when chemo starts.  The mlc’r will head back to Alaska after my first infusion of chemo. My kids will take over for getting me to treatments and my brother is coming down between work to help. He’ll stay a week to give the kids a break and then head back to work for a few weeks.  That’s what the mlc’r will be doing as well.  Coming home for a bit to help out then heading to work for a while.  This way the bulk doesn’t fall on any one person.
So that’s where we are at now.   
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Always great to hear your updates. I’m heading to Vegas soon, I’ll definitely keep
My eyes open for hold ups!
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Our Community / Heart of a Hero
« Latest by UrsaMajor on October 05, 2026, 07:38:57 AM »
I hope that you heal quickly!

And the massage plan sounds like a good idea. From your description, you are often carrying a heavy load until things start to move and that can be very draining on a body.
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Our Community / Heart of a Hero
« Latest by FaithWalker on October 04, 2026, 03:38:26 PM »
Well, here's a detail of my job that's not so great.  When we lose a student, I'm one of the first to know as I need to send folks for the Crisis response team.  This means I sometimes sit with some pretty heavy things over my weekends off, as the Security team, my boss, or the Crisis Coordinator gets a hold of me when it happens.

The weekend before school started we lost 4 of our young men to a car accident (they went off a precipice and weren't discovered until the next morning - I didn't know them, but I did know one of their Moms) and when school started that next Tuesday, our whole community was reeling from the loss.  A few weekends ago, a Senior was hit by a drunk driver and ejected from his vehicle.  He is still in Denver in a coma.  This weekend, one of our middle schoolers was hit by a car while riding his e-bike or scooter (not sure which) and he didn't make it.    :'(

My heart immediately goes out to their families, friends, teachers, anyone who knew them.  I'm also not really able to share details with anyone so the time that I have to keep it confidential feels so heavy for me.  I spend a lot of time talking to the good Lord about it.  Yesterday, I just laid on my floor in my bedroom and carried it to Him, crying out with the pain of a loss that isn't even mine.  Today I had to make some calls and get things set in motion for Monday.

Friday night, I went to my first massage that I've had in a very long time, and I've never had a massage like this.  It was a 90 minute Immersive Vibroacoustic massage and it was amazing.  I decided to cut out Netflix, and Audiobooks and anything else that I've been frivolously frittering my money away over so that I can afford one every month.  I think given the nature of the grief I carry, the stress, and you know, the caregiving, etc. that it would be a good gift to my body.

Thursday night after pickleball - I've been playing every week with a singles group I joined - I hit my face on a board sticking out of the back of a truck.   It was very clutzy of me, but also, who backs a truck up against a walking path?  He would have been better off parking the correct way with the flag on the end of the board sticking out for drivers to see, instead of parking it where the flag was in the shade of the tree and with it being twilight, I was watching the pavers I was walking on so that I didn't fall off the curb in the dark, not looking for something protruding out the back of a truck in my path!  My face was pretty bruised up Friday and I had some light sensitivity Friday for about half the day before it let up.  No issues laying facedown for the massage though and by then my headache was gone (I did take a grandiose tylenol earlier that day though).  The puffiness was down by Saturday but I have a nice bruise on the bridge of my nose and the space between my eyes is still very tender.  It was a 1x6 I think so who can see 1 inches of board in that kind of light?!?!  Definitely not me, given my peripheral vision issues.  I will heal though.
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Our Community / 10 years coming up
« Latest by FaithWalker on October 04, 2026, 03:15:19 PM »
Continued prayers TMT and thoughts your way.  That Pic line does sound scary.  Keep us posted of your journey if you can.  <3
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Our Community / J to the B part 3
« Latest by FaithWalker on October 04, 2026, 03:07:08 PM »
I'm so sorry about your coworker/crush JB.  Really makes one ponder on how much (or little) time any of us have left.  One just never knows.

That video link was a joy, thanks for sharing.  I'd never seen any of his stuff.  I think my youngest would get a kick out it, seems up his alley.

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