Dear Gonnamakit, so sorry to say - welcome. I'm not sure I am the best person to respond, as my H has gone off on the Bad Choices Bus, probably with a one way ticket plus I have less time under my belt than you, but thought I would reach out in solidarity anyway. You've been going through this quite a while now, with lots of stressful events (moving, pandemic, your Hs job loss) plus now his crisis. Yet you don't say much about yourself.
What we all share here is a deep understanding of the mental and often physical exhaustion this crisis can exact on the non-crisis partner. Honestly, you sound like you have been amazing. You are a rock for your H, but that can mean that you are not your own rock. It it can be so easy to get pulled into their turmoil lose your own equilibrium in the process. As I am sure you have read over and over, you cannot fix them or stop them making really stupid choices. It's good perhaps that he is going to therapy, but he really needs to keep at it, because if he is continues rewriting history (blaming you), seeking highs from EAs and making bad choices, then he is still looking outside and not within. In words and acts, he is doing the classic self-destruct. Fear of being abandoned and forcing it to happen. This is not your issue, but you will get caught up in it, as he lashes out. Hard not to take it personally, but it is only personal in that you are the closest person to him There's a twisted logic in all this
I would caution thinking too much about the time frame. Yup, five years is a long time, but my sense is, it takes as long as it takes. It is true for any of us - to wake up to the fact that we have a problem. That it is within ourselves and then decide we want to be better. He is so lucky to have you. But remember YOU are very lucky to have you Please look after yourself. Hugs, KD