I think there can come a point when NC or very Dim is essential for your own wellbeing and sanity. Or actually just necessary to accept what is gone and futile to hope for. I wish I'd done it much earlier and used my L more actually bc that would have also saved me from seeing some of the horror of what my xh became...easier to keep my nice memories!...but difficult with a typical MLCers approach to divorce. (And sigh, why DO they make it so f'ing hard...
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I was musing on your standing comment, OHM.
I guess the only thing I can see to stand for is a tiny possibility that my xh may come through this and need to speak with me to find his own peace with what he did. No big reconnection, just a kind of small shared closure or acknowledgement. Really a very tiny possibility given his behaviour to date and the HUGE complex mess he made. I'd hope that were that to ever happen in years to come, I might find enough grace to respond appropriately for the sake of the human I loved so much for so long.
Maybe those of you with kids just have a 1% stand like that for a better future relationship with the kids? Idk...but it is hard to envisage at our stage OHM I think and far away so probably fine to let God take care of that one
Sigh...just having a quick moment of disbelief and missing the rather nice chap who used to be my h
T: 18 M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg