[flosoup]

I hope this is the right place to put this.  I have been loving the Stand up and Thrive and have felt it and the sessions with Kenda Ruth are really helping me.  And Kenda Ruth I really hope you read this because it's been going over and over in my head last night. 
Kenda Ruth mentioned last night in the live session that she think H might been so overwhelmed with empathy that when confronted with the serious issue of the dogs eating rat poison that he acted like someone else because he had too many emotions and froze.  I had thought that I'd finally glimpsed mlc because this man was not acting like the h I knew he was.  The thing that is confusing me is that I thought he was emotionally blunted and unable to feel empathy because of other things he'd said in the past 21 weeks like, why aren't you all over it already.  Or I didn't think our boys would pull away from me like they have or find someone else, move on.  My head is wrecked.  I didn't think that you could be overwhelmed with emotion but while at the same time not having empathy for those you once loved..
Ah I don't know.  I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this but I just felt that if I didn't get it out today I would explode

[Rollercoasterider]

Flosoup,

Yes, this is a fine place to post. if you'd prefer, you can go to the Private Board for Stand Up and THRIVE! members and moderator/mentors. But our group is so small right now that I think it's just you that might be posting!
Empathy overload can lead to emotional blunting. He's feeling so overwhelmed emotionally that he then withdraws emotionally because he doesn't know what to do--what to do, say, feel, how to offer comfort. He's paralyzed. He showed up when you needed him for the dogs, but he didn't know what to do beyond just standing there---paralyzed.

[MadLuv]

I can list many instances where that was clear with my XH. Sometimes that comes out as a complete shut down of emotions and sometimes it comes out as anger ( monster ) either way it is a reaction of a man or woman that cant handle anything that requires real empathy. My XH at one point said “no matter what I do I hurt you and it’s killing me” I do think that is part of their issue. They are in a selfish place. They cant handle what is happening. They have no answer as to why they feel the way they feel. So they have nothing to offer and anything that adds to their distress causes a bigger shut down.