I wanted to share this because I've seen a few posts lately on the topic of seeing things posted on social media.
My SIL is in the midst of what I think I can safely categorize as one mother of an MLC, with all the hideous, disgusting and selfish behavior that goes with it. I don't write about it here because honestly, it's my brother's story to tell, I am there for him when he needs to talk but it's a very complicated family history.
My brother has the support of her extremely huge, close family (as much as they can - they are after all her family) and her mother currently is fighting stage 4 cancer (diagnosed 3 years ago).
SIL wanted to take her mother out for her birthday and her mother said flat out, "I'm going to have to take a pass. All you've been doing is lying to [her H, my brother] and I can't be a hypocrite and sit across from you."
After she said this, SIL called my brother screaming and saying that "it might be my mother's last birthday and she doesn't want to spend it with me because of YOU!" And then a whole bunch of WTF drama went down, as you all can imagine, all caused by her. (It's truly weird how her rage amplifies the more he remains calm. It was the same with my former H, but still strange to see.)
It was messy and ugly. BUT on social media, her post was an over the top happy birthday to her mother/best friend/rock/the most amazing woman she's ever known who she loves so much, etc, etc, and so many likes and heart emojis and comments from people about how beautiful her message was. Nobody who commented or "liked" this post has any idea that SIL's mother would not even have lunch with her because she's so disappointed and upset by her. It just really exemplifies that NOTHING you see on social media tells the whole story or even close to it.
I thought this might help to share, especially for newbies who are still fighting the urge to "take a peek" or "look for clues of the affair falling apart" or any other reason for looking at posts.
It DOES NOT help. It IS NOT reality. You cannot assess anything from it. All it will do is cause monkey braining and more pain. Take a social media break, deactivate your accounts. Don't look. Tell everyone you know not to look or share what they see with you. If they respect you, they won't. I cut off communication with several gossipy drama lovers who insisted on sharing unrequested information with me after I specifically asked them not to (but honestly, it should go without saying).
Anyway, just thought it might help to see an example of Facebook v. Reality and maybe this can be a thread where people share similar examples, stories etc to serve as a reminder that nothing is what it appears and our own lives are the ones that deserve our focus and attention.
“The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you will be free.” ~Margaret Atwood
You can either be consumed or forged. It’s up to you; the fire doesn’t care either way.