Midlife Crisis > Our Community

 Return Stories Part Three

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limitless:
Link to old thread:

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1756.0

First thread
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=237.0

Thought it was time to start a new thread.

I had a conversation with my dental hygenist today.  Really nice young gal.  Been going to her for some time.  Over the years I have shared with her my experience with my Ex.

Today she shared that her Father left her Mother when she was 16 years old.  (Got involved with Mother's best friend...so typical).  She and her brother lived with their Father until they went out on their own.   They refused to have anything to do with OW.  Her parent never divorced, but her Dad was with the OW for 14 years.  14 years!  He never lived with her.  They kept separate homes and separate lives.  She wasn't welcome with HIS family.  OW used to send her Christmas gifts and cards - but my hygenist wanted NOTHING to do with her. 

Her Mother was devastated...as we all know that feeling.  Yet, she picked up her life, went back to school and became a nurse.  She dated a little - but did not get serious with anyone. 

A few years back, her Father left the OW.  Apparently she was pushing to live together...get married.  He didn't want to do that.  So, they broke up. 

Her Dad contacted her Mother....they began to do things together....have dinner, spend time, go out, etc.  According to my dental hygenist - they are the best of friends and spend a lot of time together.  The all have holidays together, as well.  She believes that her Dad would like to be in a relationship with her Mom.....but her Mom is reluctant.  She believes if the two were open to get some counseling and work through it - they could reconcile...but her Dad "isn't the counseling type."

One other interesting thing - OW continues to send him notes wanting to reconcile - but he isn't interested in the slightest. 

Who knows where it will go from here.

L

hawk:
My parents and heroes , together 56yrs. Warning , might make ya cry.

We had a huge family , 12 , mum was meant to stop at 7 , but she was catholic and wouldn't use anything.
Eventually it all got too much , as you could imagine. She started going a bit crazy , talking crazy  here. But she also would not associate with dad in anyway. For years it was just wise cracks whenever he opened his mouth or was around.
He was a strong man , mans man .But even us kids use to think why , don't live like this dad , divorce her.
Eventually , after sticking by her for years , he started getting gf's , he was always highly sexed , we never knew how he lasted that long.
Then he bought a holiday house 8hrs drive. He started going up there straight after work Friday nights , went on for 3 or 4 yrs.
He had a gf up there but even we couldn't blame him the way mum treated him.

Meanwhile , go figure seems she seem to hate dad , but mum would not go near other men. When dad wasn't around , she talked about him and lived as if she was a loyal wife.  Don't ask me to explain it , l still can't.
Underneath it all though , l think he was only ever the only man for her. Although she was going through sh@t , she was still a one man women.

Dad was still living at home , mum was in and out of hospital like a second home. We nearly lost her 4 or 5 times. But every time she got sick , dad would drop everything and be at her bed in hospital for as long as it took.

My dad was in business and at 65 he went broke . Mum started to change , he dropped the gf's , mum never did like all the money , she just wasn't interested in money or business.
They were actually talking again , even when they were alone . We hadn't seen that in 15yrs .
Mum still talked about dad as if he was her hero , same as she did when she was treating him like sh@t  , that never ever changed.
Then they retired and both , yep both , moved up to the holiday house. area but he didn't own the house anymore and they had to go on the pension because he went broke. But they rented a unit in town . They still had separate bedrooms , but they would cackle away around each other like a couple of old women  .
Dad would still talk about mum a lot to , and basically wait on her , fuss over her .
Then they got older and mum started getting sick again until it was the last stand . We all knew we'd lose her soon , dad to.
But dad started getting sick to . Then they found out he had so many blockages he shouldn't even be here. But he was too old now to take the operations .
Mum got worse and dad had had 6 heart attacks , yep , 6 .
But he wouldn't go . He was going to stay to look after mum first , if it was the last thing he did.
Well he did that and we all saw her off with dad.
He said to me that day , l hope the kids are gonna be ok and l'll stick around as long as l can to be there.
Well , he managed another 18mths and we lost him to.
But in visits and stuff , he'd stuck by mum and seen her off , and then he'd stuck by he's kids to make sure they were ok and then,  it was time to check out .
They just don't make em like that any more .  MN summed it up in another thread . The way the world is now , the cheap quick thrills , the lack of !

But you know what , my ex was their favorite of all the sons and sister in laws , kids , the lot . They loved her. Dad especially but mum to bc ex was a nurse and all mums hospital , she had real respect for nurses.
So in a way l as so relieved they weren't here to see what she did in the end.
l know they know now but at least , well hopefully they were busy up there at the time.

hawk:
Just wondering , no more return stories , that can't be right can it ???

limitless:

--- Quote from: limitless on November 18, 2014, 12:33:30 PM ---Link to old thread:

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1756.0

First thread
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=237.0

Thought it was time to start a new thread.

I had a conversation with my dental hygenist today.  Really nice young gal.  Been going to her for some time.  Over the years I have shared with her my experience with my Ex.

Today she shared that her Father left her Mother when she was 16 years old.  (Got involved with Mother's best friend...so typical).  She and her brother lived with their Father until they went out on their own.   They refused to have anything to do with OW.  Her parent never divorced, but her Dad was with the OW for 14 years.  14 years!  He never lived with her.  They kept separate homes and separate lives.  She wasn't welcome with HIS family.  OW used to send her Christmas gifts and cards - but my hygenist wanted NOTHING to do with her. 

Her Mother was devastated...as we all know that feeling.  Yet, she picked up her life, went back to school and became a nurse.  She dated a little - but did not get serious with anyone. 

A few years back, her Father left the OW.  Apparently she was pushing to live together...get married.  He didn't want to do that.  So, they broke up. 

Her Dad contacted her Mother....they began to do things together....have dinner, spend time, go out, etc.  According to my dental hygenist - they are the best of friends and spend a lot of time together.  The all have holidays together, as well.  She believes that her Dad would like to be in a relationship with her Mom.....but her Mom is reluctant.  She believes if the two were open to get some counseling and work through it - they could reconcile...but her Dad "isn't the counseling type."

One other interesting thing - OW continues to send him notes wanting to reconcile - but he isn't interested in the slightest. 

Who knows where it will go from here.

L

--- End quote ---

I went to the dentist today....saw my usual dental hygenist.

Her parents are now living together.  She told me that the reason was "financial" - but I wonder. 

My hygenist got married recently - with both of her parents in attendance...TOGETHER.

L

heroIam:
Well, I have a return story.  H returned home Dec 19.  Home ever since.  I know it hasn't been long since H has been home, but so far showing "not many" signs of being untrustworthy.  However, I think I need to work on my own trusting issues.  Granted, I have seens a few things that "didn't add up" in my mind, but they were small and probably just exaggerated in my own mind and insecurity-I don't know.......Trust is something I work on and struggle with every day since H has been home.  I don't know for sure if OW is gone.  So he says.  So, I suppose I take comfort in that.  If there is anyone out there with a return story that you can share with me to help with the trust and getting past it all, it would be helpful.   Thank you.

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