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Author Topic: Resources Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9

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Nas

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Resources Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#10: July 14, 2022, 08:50:24 AM
Interesting read:

https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/eastern-practices-western-psychology

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but McLean hospital offers a ton of really interesting free webinars, some of them in particular are aimed towards helping children deal with anxiety and stress, etc, for those of you who have younger kids.
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The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you shall be free. ~ Margaret Atwood

W

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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#11: July 16, 2022, 10:41:31 AM
Does anyone know this guy?  Is the rock bottom I keep reading about and waiting for?

https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/day-i-moved-out-and-my-soul-shook
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N

Nas

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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#12: July 18, 2022, 04:27:38 AM
This article on grief spurred a million thoughts for me coming from multiple angles. Thought it might resonate for others:

https://psyche.co/ideas/there-is-consolation-in-a-philosophical-approach-to-grief
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The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you shall be free. ~ Margaret Atwood

N

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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#13: July 18, 2022, 07:00:19 AM
Sharing another one as I prepare for yet another therapist to move out of state, leaving me on a search for a new one…

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/talk-listen-heal-depression-0611125
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The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you shall be free. ~ Margaret Atwood

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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#14: July 20, 2022, 04:38:15 PM
Can one of the vets please watch this entire vid and comment on how much this has to do with MLC or if its just a marital affair situation?  Are these two situations connected or is this something different?  Thank you.

https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/how-developmental-and-betrayal-trauma-affect-men-and-women-differently
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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#15: July 21, 2022, 12:02:04 PM
Can one of the vets please watch this entire vid and comment on how much this has to do with MLC or if its just a marital affair situation?  Are these two situations connected or is this something different?  Thank you.

https://www.affairrecovery.com/survivors/samuel/how-developmental-and-betrayal-trauma-affect-men-and-women-differently

Anyone?
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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#16: July 21, 2022, 12:37:22 PM
This is a pretty long video. I'm eleven years out from this, so maybe someone a little closer to their situation will come along and watch. But I want to ask you: what will the difference between MLC or run-of-the-mill marital affair mean to you and your healing, or day-to-day coping? I mean that honestly - will it effect whether or not you stand, whether or not you engage with your spouse, whether you have hope for yourself and/or your marriage?
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N

Nas

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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#17: July 21, 2022, 04:33:56 PM
Retraumatization in ptsd recovery:

https://www.brightquest.com/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/retraumatization/amp/

I’ve been struggling badly for a bit and I have a tendency to be very hard on myself, but something I often forget to remind myself of (a reminder I think others could probably stand to hear as well): struggling doesn’t make you “less than,” nor does it make you “too much,” and in recovery from cPTSD, setbacks can occur and it doesn’t mean failure, and it doesn’t mean you’re back to zero. It’s important to give yourself credit for the ability to use the tools learned in the process of recovery when a setback or retraumatization occurs.
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The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you shall be free. ~ Margaret Atwood

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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#18: July 22, 2022, 08:34:16 AM
This is a pretty long video. I'm eleven years out from this, so maybe someone a little closer to their situation will come along and watch. But I want to ask you: what will the difference between MLC or run-of-the-mill marital affair mean to you and your healing, or day-to-day coping? I mean that honestly - will it effect whether or not you stand, whether or not you engage with your spouse, whether you have hope for yourself and/or your marriage?

It’s more about a guy I know that I believe had a MLC.  I thought this video may help him understand what the hell happened.  But I’m not sure if it all about MLC.  Or more of the run of the mill affair. 
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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#19: July 22, 2022, 08:46:18 AM
Why, I have watched many on him and I think you can pull what understanding you need from it. He does talk to the betrayer as to warn them not to take his oath as regret will surely come. I think we all know there is no reasoning with an MLCer. I think it does help to see the reasoning in their minds, the selfishness either way. Whether it be MLC or everyday Affair , both are about getting outside needs met instead of doing the inner work. It’s a matter of is it beyond the norm. Is it a crisis. Do you want to have the affair or do you HAVE to have the affair. IMHO
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There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
June 2022 XH bring OW to meet family due to xMIL illness
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife
May 2024 xMIL visits XH/OW in their new home
Aug 2024 cut relations w/XH fam.
Dec 2024 D33 expecting baby ( XH not told)

 

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