Im just rambling I need to vent! Im sad, mad, cheated, scared, worried all that and feel very alone. My daughter has been more on his side but because after he left and filed my wonderful mother decided to tell things I had rather stay quiet. Basically I am a liar! I was not honest with my daughter or husband about my ex and a pregnancy with him. I never felt the need to divulge my past relationship history to my daughter but I wasn’t completely honest with my husband either. I didn’t tell either of them dirty details of my leaving that ex (daughters bio dad) because I wasn’t proud of what I put up with or a lie I told. So he didn’t find out till my my disclosed it after he already filed. So that made mlc worse I feel snd him hate me. And my daughter doesn’t trust me. Fast forward so the almost 21 mths hes been gone 18 of those shes been distant with me. I basically lost my spouse and her around same time. Shes only texting me now because he  passed. But she has told me she thinks she needs to have his remains till they go to cemetery because he would of wanted it that way. She said you were all going through a divorce and he was ready and wanting it to be over!! 


From that point I get it but she cant see he was going through a crisis! At first yes she was shocked and even was telling me he was eating fruit something he hated but than when my mom told her my past all things shifted whatever behavior he was doing was looked past because i was bigger villain. If told her he was in crisis she would just say “whatever he seems fine you haven’t even talked to him in all these months” so him getting AP 2 mths ago she just sees as hes happy finally happy after leaving!! There isn’t anything i can do to try to have her see it my way hes gone! No closure or answers. But under her believing he was done and waiting for divorce I understand why she would want possession of everything. It just hard because If I say no it further destroys our relationship which is fragile if i give them to her I miss out on what I think is closure for me to have the ashes till tbey go to cemetery. I don’t think splitting them is an option as she wants control over all his stuff.

I was lonely before missing him but i lived off of hope he'd wake up and come back sometime. Sorry for ramblings I need to vent a d don’t have anyone to vent to. Only one of his friends even called to express he was sorry to me. I suppose because everyone knew he was divorcing me. Plus he vented pretty nasty about me

(((((((((((((Allie))))))))))))))!
There are no words. I am crying with you as I write this.

One thought occurred to me is to make sure to tell your Mortgage company what happened, they will probably work with you, given your circumstances. 

I’m praying for you 🤲

I am so sorry to hear, this has to be shocking at so many levels. Even before the MLC, before having to deal with divorce it is the shock of the sudden loss, even if he was not immediately in your life.

Please right now just be very gentle and kind to yourself, there is so much going on. You don't have to figure anything out right now, you just have to get through the shock and get all the support you can get from friends and family. A lot of things may come back up, as you asked yourself questioning what happened, why, you may even feel you are going through all this all over again.

Just try to get through the next few days. Can you get some mental health professiona support to try to get some footing?

Its terrible I will never have answers, wont get chance to reconcile or talk to him and everything i know of lately was he was happy with new person. Now im doubting mlc and everything only thing is we will remain married not divorced! Its so sad and he was all alone

I have not wrote recently! But today I am. My mlcer passed away today at 46 in a car accident on the way to see AP.

I am numb because he wouldn’t talk to me since he left and was going through with divorce! It was like I meant nothing. Two months ago he got a AP! A single mom of 3 and divorced and 10 years younger. I took that so hard but knew it so common but wasn’t sure if it 19 mths after leaving was still AP? I still figured he was in MLC but now I wonder not that it matters because hes gone and I will never get answers.  AP knew before me apparently because she was tracking him on find my iPhone shocked that he did that 2 mths in. But 🤷🏻‍♀️ He was speeding and hit tractor trailer. My daughter is devasted too as she just talked to him for an hour. And he apparently sounded very happy and was excited about his new gf. I am so numb because Ive been grieving him for almost 2 years since he left so its hard to even acknowledge hes gone gone! Our divorce wasnt final so my praying it would not happen has come true but at losing him all over again! I need advice, or something.