How IS the new job going? You were saying that it was salaried so you expected to be working additional hours (I know EXACTLY what that means.... more hours, no additional pay....) Hopefully, there is at least some form of Comp Time rule in place.

Your fishing trip sounds wonderful. Where did you go? My parents would go to Trappers Lake or one other close to them when they were at their cabin near Meeker but since they moved to Nevada, that is all in the past. My mom turned 90 in December so my partner and I took a trip to Vegas to surprise her. We had said that we were not going to be able to make it as the flights were SO expensive (they were when we looked) a getting the time off was a challenge but, we looked again a couple weeks before the date and the prices were WAY down so we told my dad that we were coming as a surprise, booked the flights, a hotel, rental car, the works and the day before her birthday, showed up at their door. I thought I might have to perform CPR when mom came to the door and saw us there. Ironically, I had ordered flowers to be delivered that same day with the note that we wished her a happy birthday and that we were sorry that we woudldn't be able to make it to the party. They were delivered about an hour before we arrived..... 

What is the 75 hard? It sounds..... difficult? I'm hitting the gym twice weekly, going to cardio/aerobic classes a couple times a week and commute by bicycle (about 8 miles round trip) so that is keeping me from becoming a couch potato. I turned 63 a week ago so sedentary life is an issue I do my best to avoid, lest I start to rust and rot from the inside.....

UM

ML, I hope you are doing okay post stroke.  So scary!

One more from me - this one I found while trying to help a writer create a character, but it resonated with me in several different directions.
I suppose the opposite of cycle breaking would be exactly what many of our spouses decided to do instead…

https://share.google/TCmFBTWfPuZOcK7yL

“Cycle-breaking involves ‘learning to feel emotions’ that were never safe to experience…guilt, shame and anxiety are known as ‘inhibitory emotions’. These emotions typically ensure that people behave in ways that help them fit in with their families and society. But they can also block access to other emotions, such as anger, fear, sadness and excitement. Those important, ‘core’ emotions often help human beings take actions that serve them well, such as standing up to others when angry, running from danger when afraid, or crying when sad…”

🎵 https://youtu.be/0asSzzf6HPw?si=uTi5clZSUqEJuLy0

Another interesting one:

https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-know-what-you-really-want-and-be-free-from-mimetic-desire?utm_source=Aeon%2BNewsletter&utm_campaign=9ef158376b-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2026_04_27_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_-4ef8a26106-72670444

If your basic needs are stabilized, self-inquiry is easier. Without stability it seems frivolous. But desire has always fascinated me as a luxury, and so often authentic desire isn’t examined. Mimetic desire is safe. Real desire often has a consequence of disruption. (If you can’t tell, disruption is a theme in my life lately and partly because I’ve had to recently take on some pretty difficult situations).
I never really knew how to want. I knew how to need. My wants were around survival. I want the freedom of authentic desire. One thing this made me think is that when you’ve (often subconsciously) built your life around mimetic desire, confronting your authentic desires could be very disruptive. Unsettling. Stability threatening. It requires one to tolerate uncertainty. “What do I really want?” Is a big scary question even though it seems pretty innocuous.
Anyway, food for thought that I think fits the LBS experience. What kind of life do you really want?

🎵 https://youtu.be/y25t6YqxDOw?si=hC7LFkIIO8PZKPMH

Hello Ready, thank you for the greetings. I celebrated my birthday back in April but I told my sister to come during my holiday so we can spend a lot of time together. The trip to France was so much fun with my sister. We travelled in the Normandie, Bretagne and Bourgogne region. It was easy because I brought my car. It was such a memorable trip. We also travelled here in Switzerland, there was no time to rest. But it's all worth it.

As for being a people pleaser, yes, I am the world champion of pleasing people. And part of it is good but sometimes you can lose yourself while people pleasing. I don't know how my ex was before the marriage, if he had depression. But during the marriage he did have a burnout. Whether I was around or not, I guess it was inevitable. He would have a burnout due to work stress and also sleeping problems. I used to blame myself because he blamed me, but in hindsight, none of it was my fault. Even now, he still has problems with all sorts of body pain, sleeping, etc despite me being gone for almost a decade now. And I agree with you, the MLC intensified everything. Though, i have to say the whole womanizing and the lying thing was already there even before he met me. In hindsight, I don't know which part of that marriage was true and which part was a lie. I don't know what else he was lying about, especially when he was assigned abroad. But, that doesn't matter now. I cannot change what happened and it doesn't affect my future anymore.

Recently, while I was travelling in France, my ex and I were communicating. I sent him pictures of the places we once visited when we were still married. I also told him stories of me meeting some people on the trip who in complimented me and my sister. Some of these people were men. So for me as a 50 year old, I felt flattered and some encouters are really funny. I recounted him some of the stories and whenever it involved a male person, he would tell me he was not interested. Basically, he was pissed off and told me he didn't understand why I was telling those stories to him. I told him, I told him the stories because I find them funny and it was not only him I told the stories. I told it to my other friends. He told me he was not just "a friend" to me. I don't understand what it meant but I told him, I won't be telling stories anymore. Perhaps it was inappropriate that I told him those stories but I didn't have any intention to make him jealous or whatever as I have no intention anymore of getting back together. I gave up standing a long time ago. I just find the reaction a bit weird.
Anyway, he's now in my home country, I guess joining a triathlon competition. Haven't hear from him anymore. Maybe it's a good thing. haha

As for me, I realized when my sister was here, that nothing more that makes me happy than being with my family. I am happiest when I am with them. I forget about the hard things in life. We had a lot of fun moment where we got to laugh a lot. My sister kept telling me I should try dating again but honestly, nowadays it's just hard to meet good and sincere people. But who knows, one day. If it comes, and when I'm ready, I might give it a try once again.