And then today I asked if w and the kids wanted to come over for some food and to hang out this weekend.

W texted back saying she wasn’t comfortable being asked over for lunch.
Then 2 minutes later was back to sending funny photos etc.
The flip flopping doesn’t really bother me at all anymore but it is pretty odd!

Today is one of those days when i want to run. I honestly envy those who could move out or kick their husband out. I don't see anything in him except of a lying, cheating boring idiot. My moods change but in general now that is an idea of who i am living with.
I am unsuccessful for now in my efforts to find a job.
I have major problem with my ankle+ this week H had to call ambulance for me, though everything went well and i spent only several hours there and this problem i can deal with much easier than my ankle.
I am lonely, depressed and lost. I lost all hope for reconciliation, because there are two people in this house now who don't want it at all.
H started to ask me if i am okey, apparently no matter how hard i try to fake smile my real mood shows through the mask.
I try to tell myself that i will work through this, find a job, move out and forget that he ever existed, will be happy again. But as for now i am nowhere near it, i have some bad days.
H working hard for his future new wife, stopped smoking weed ( though he says it's a pause), tries to eat healthier and now tries to quit smoking. The problem is, when he does it for well known reasons it doesn't make me happy instead it just irritates me and tells me i should run away from this "new" him as fast as possible.
After our last talk he started to be a little bit closer in terms of physical contact, but again i couldn't care less, cause its just a phase of the show i don't want to be a part of.
I am Very bored whith him - nothing to talk about, nothing in common. He wasn't very interesting to start with, but now, with no sense of humor and constantly inside his head he became really really boring.
Instead of trying to be open he changed his password everywhere and hid his vast porn collection. Just puts the mask on and plays it nice.
I just want to get away and i want to cry, because it's over. There was one person in this marriage who wanted it, but now it's truly done.
Yeah i can't say that i have apathy towards him, that will take time. For now it's pure hate and resentment.
Just journaling and looking for my way out. I will find it. I hate waiting and unfortunately major life changes take time, but at least i do what depends on me.
He mentioned in our last talk that "he could have her", so i guess that is what he is waiting for and hoping for, that she will surrender and they will be together. Well good luck to them both, they worth each other.
Also i would really like to start daiting, but i understand that for now i am so deeply hurt that i will just ruin anything good that will come my way. Just not ready yet, hopefully soon.

I see similarity, though my H is very polite and nice to me in general, as soon as i put the time boundaries (being home after work in time) he starts monstering or if i mention that OW situation should stop. Basically as soon as i am trying to control (in his opinion) his newfound "freedom" i see the monster. And ofc the part of this freedom is OW.
Unfortunately nothing new under the moon, your husband and mine are playing the same sad script...
I feel your pain and i am sorry about everything that is happening to you, i hope with you that it will get better for You, that sadness will leave your home.

Just journaling....

Not really much to report. The last few days have mainly been me working hard and having a bit of contact with kids and W.
On Tuesday night I had some stuff to drop to the kids whilst they stay with W during the holidays and I work. When I arrived to see the kids and W I was invited in and hung out with them all and watched TV for a couple of hours and shared a couple of glasses of wine with W. It was a really nice evening, and my take away was how this would be such a boring / ordinary evening for almost everyone I know. For me, after BD, it seems like some kind of paradise! The opportunity to just hang out with my family and watch crap TV seems so precious that I'll never take that situation for granted ever again.

Work has gone bananas, which is great for our finances, but lame for spending time with the family, but after a long period of no work I feel grateful for it.

W seems very irate about finances in the last few days, despite agreeing that we're not actually in any dire situation and have at least enough money to sustain us for a year or so. Maybe she's planning some kind of escape again and wants to make sure she has enough money to do so? Who knows? She's being totally transparent about spending recently and seems committed to trying to make our combined income work for the family.
Such a weird situation sometimes, operating as a family unit in terms of childcare and finances etc but not living together or sharing other elements of family life. I've kind of got used to it but I'm sure to outsiders or those not familiar with MLC it would seem totally wonky.

To the vets : does someone remember this kind of half coliving arrangements ? And, anecdotally, in which category should I switch when W will make her move : Keeps moving in and out ? Or Home but travels for work ?

I have the same problem to a certain extent.....I don't feel like mine moves in and out.  He moved to RV, which is really not a permanent setting, and only took enough for a trip.  We are not formally separated and most people don't even know we don't live together all the time.  He has spent an increasing number of nights at home.  Sometimes I think he stays at the RV because he wants to sleep in the next morning, but also because he is still in replay and the mindset that he said he doesn't want to live at home--even though all of his actions say most of the time that is where he wants to be.   I do believe some of the shine has worn off the life, but he isn't ready to admit he was completely wrong yet (he's admitted he was partially wrong in that he did say he wasn't in love with me, but now says he does love me very much). BUT, anyway, I don't feel like moving in and out is quite right, I don't really feel like we are separated, we aren't in the process of divorcing, and the majority of our life is still connected. I feel like maybe there needs to be an option like, in flux, changing, or "It's complicated" option.