[thissucks7788]

Hey Tsun!
The year of me is fantastic! I agree about the no dating by the way, because I know personally that my emotional state would not be ready for something like that. However, I still don’t think it’s a bad idea to keep some flirting skills sharp,😃

I hear what you’re saying about working on yourself outside versus inside. I have always been a make up wearing, hair highlighting kind of gal myself even before all this. Somehow though, I never did get into getting my nails done. Maybe I’ll go for that.😊 I definitely feel more confident when I think I look good. You’re right though, it does not fix what is broken inside. That is why I like the book that you recommended and I am looking to work and focus on myself and no longer read  or focus on MLC or H’s journey. Your self-esteem can definitely take a beating after everything that has happened.  I suspect that’s a normal reaction.

Re: Tarot cards— I only know how to do a major arcana reading and I need the book to tell me what the cards mean. It is so much fun and I’ll have to try a reading for us.  I wonder if it would work though as I think the person is supposed to shuffle the deck while asking a question.  Hopefully the psychic on Monday will reveal some interesting things. Lol to my Nan and the soup recipe coming through.

Unfortunately, my tennis class was canceled again for tomorrow due to the heat. It sucks though, because I feel pretty great after running around and socializing. It was a winning combination. I really don’t have too much planned for this weekend, so that has good and bad. I think I’m going to try to clean and organize my house. I remember that you said you like to do that so maybe you can inspire me. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I sometimes will watch some YouTube videos to motivate me to organize and clear out some stuff.

Speaking of House, did you ever go on that apartment tour? I know you were just going to take a look just in case. It’s a mixed feeling thing… It’s hard to leave behind the old, but interesting to think about a fresh start.  Has your son started his vacation yet? Have you thought of anything that you would like to do during that time?

Enjoy your weekend!😃😀

[Biscuit]

I really liked watching Marie Kondo's programme on organising your house and space and how she thinks about possesions place in our lives.

[thissucks7788]

Thanks Biscuit!! I’ll have to check that out.  I definitely need inspiration to get started. Her name sounds very familiar… I think she has some kind of method or something with organizing. I vaguely remember a YouTuber talking about her when she was folding some of her clothes in a drawer, something like that.  Great suggestion!!

[Biscuit]

Yes, she has a very particular way of folding clothes! It really does work though.

[thissucks7788]

Thanks Biscuit, I'm going to check her out!!

[Tsun]

I got inspired to organize after I watched the documentary Less is Now from the Minimalists. I then started listening to their podcast and also attended a live recording, highly recommend it!

[thissucks7788]

Wow Tsun- I just watched the trailer for it and it looks great! I like how it said if you just even threw out one thing a day for a month it would make a huge difference. I actually went through my make up today and got rid of a lot of stuff. I’m gonna try to keep going with this. I worked on my kitchen yesterday. Thank you Biscuit and Tsun for the inspiration!

[Tsun]

Glad you were inspired! I find that it's not just about getting rid of things, it's about what you make room for when you have less 'stuff' to worry about. I may watch the documentary again tonight as I need some inspiration with regards to my closet. The Minimalists always dress the same. Just imagine how much brain space that would free up!

TS, I do recommend getting your nails done, especially your feet :-). I see this as a major treat, some time to myself, while I get pampered.

The medium just emailed me and asked me to, in preparation for my session on Monday, ask my loved ones to meet me and offer me guidance, insight, and closure. I like this thought.

Regarding the apartment, I did look at it. Initially, I really loved it, but then a family walked in for a tour and they reminded me so much of us (when we were looking for an apartment 5 years ago) and I got pretty sad. It just hits at unexpected times, doesn't it? My son also indicated that he doesn't want to move and I want to respect his wishes. Ultimately, we may not have a choice though and it's nice to know there are options out there that work for us.

My son indeed has vacation and I am really enjoying my time with him. Having said that, I think he spends way too much time on the electronics right now, but it's difficult for me to do everything I need to do, otherwise. My son does not really engage in any activities independently, besides electronics, unfortunately. It makes me resent my h because, had he done his share of parenting, this would have been so much better for our son.

Since you are also doing the bulk of parenting, how are you managing to balance work, chores, mental and physical health and parenting?

[Biscuit]

One of the positives, and there are not many, of moving out of the family home is I've got so much less s$£t in terms of possessions in my life. They are all at the old family home and I actually prefer it that way, I like an uncluttered clean home. I've got a lot of clothes here, as I've always liked clothing and have kept most of what I've bought over the years. But other than that and my music and work equipment I've got very little and I think I prefer it that way.

[thissucks7788]

Good point Biscuit.  I just started going through some of my things today.  I hope to not have to move...I think I'll be able to stay in my home, but I want to change it up and simplify.  Like you said uncluttered and clean.  You guys have given me good motivation, thank you!!

Tsun- Definitely yes to the pedicure-- that is one thing I really do like. It's the manicure I never seem to do.  It feels like it chips in a day, but I may go for it anyway and try out a bold color (which is something I never do-- taking my own advice about uncertainty, lol).

I know what you mean about seeing the family in the apartment and sparking memories that make you sad.  I think that is an additional reason that I'm looking to change up my home.  I have to do it on a budget but I want it to look different almost like a fresh start.  I can understand why your son would not be interested in moving-- change is hard.  I've never been good with change so I totally get it.  Sometimes you're right though there just is no choice.

How am I balancing everything?-- well I'll just give a big LOL. I've def. had my share of meltdowns which leads to resentment of H and his bachelor lifestyle.  However, than I just do what I can and remind myself that everything doesn't have to be taken care of right now.  I have accepted that things are going to be less than perfect and I have to make peace with that.  I just try to cover the basics...son healthy and fed, bring in money for bills etc...  I will say though it makes me crazy when additional things happen (as opposed to the normal millions of other things that need to be taken care of).  For example, toilet got stopped up shortly after H left and I'm sitting there plunging and melting down.  My tub needed to be re-caulked and just the other day my oven hood broke. I'm just doing in one by one (obviously toilet had to be dealt with immediately).   I also found a local guy who will cut my lawn for not a lot of money.  I call him (not to his face, lol) my outdoor husband.  I love this guy.  He takes care of my lawn and cuts any vines, bushes.  I also had him fix the latch on my fence.  I am so grateful for him. My neighbor liked it so much that she uses my outdoor husband too.  In fact I couldn't get a handyman to come in to caulk and guess who came through--outdoor husband for not expensive.  I did tell him that I just needed "husband grade" work.  My H used to do these things. Although if I'm being honest, he was doing less and less over the past couple of years anyway.  So that is how it is going.  Do you have any good ideas?  I'm so open.  Hard to juggle everything when H just ups and leaves.  For self care, I try to listen to things I enjoy at night before bed.  Also squeeze in a walk and tennis on Saturday mornings.

So glad you're enjoying some time with your son. All the kids are on their electronics too much, my son included.  Do what you gotta do to make it through, imo.  We are only one person and human

Anyway, I hope you're having a good weekend.  3 million degrees here so not much outside stuff happening.  xo   

PS Good luck with the medium- can't wait to hear!