Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: LisaLives on April 15, 2011, 10:08:28 AM
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This forum has been active for a long time and lots of people have made it through to the other side. Is there a thread where people post the "happily ever afters," or even the not-so-happy ones?
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This forum has actually not been around for a long time. It started 11 months ago today. That means that we have fewer stories of reconciliation because most here are in the eearlier stages.
Stayed, Heartsblessing and myself are in reconciled marriages and our situations preceded this board.
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Oh, my bad! Thanks, I guess we'll just have to hope that everyone sticks around, or remembers to update us when they get there. Thanks and sorry for my misunderstanding. It is almost insane to me that there are so many people here in such a short time. I think I feel even more overwhelmed now... WOW, just wow, who knew?
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The forum is less than a year. But I started the website almost 3 years ago and the newsletter a year-and-a-half ago. When I started the forum I put an annuncement in the newsletter and so people poured in from there.
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Lisa welcome to the board and my only comment about there being so many people is that in the US, 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
Think about that and it is not surprising that there are so many people here.
Most of us here do not want a divorce.
And have been shocked that we are in this position.
You come at first to try to save your marriage and end up trying to save yourself.
You can survive this ordeal and be the best YOU that is possible.
Hopefully in the process your spouse will see this and want to be the best that they can be too.
And together you can rebuild your marriage.
That is the GOAL!
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lisaweaves--You are lucky to have found this sight. I was lucky I found it about a month after BD#1. It was the day I confirmed the OW. I thank God every day for that and for RCR for starting the site and all the wonderful people here. I would not have made it without my friends here, and still need them all at times.
I believe my H and I are on the road to reconciliation. HB and Stayed agree with me I think. He's been back for about 6 months now. Even reconciliation takes a long time. My "case" is a bit different though in that my H returned VERY early. I believe this was due to a huge family crisis that lifted the fog for him in a way that only a real tragedy could. His crisis is a bit of an exception in terms of time to some extent.
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LW I will use my incredible intuition and tell you how it ends.
After much upping and downing and confusion you will end up enjoying your life, being stronger than you ever imagined and doing things you never thought you could. Whether or not that involves your H is a different matter. You will have a happily ever after just different from what you thought it may be.
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Well put, SL. :)
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SL, I have heard that from so many people. In all honesty, I have not met one woman who was left by a husband who is not in a good place. Some took a long time to get there, but all I have met say they are happier. For anyone else out there, I am a small business owner, and 95% of my customers are women, and I have a lot of them. live in a small town (just under 100K) where everyone who is anyone knows everyone's business, so there are people in my town who know my business better than me. I found out about the first time he had OW here from a woman I don't even know at the dry cleaners--how lovely is that? But, having been through a weird cancer thing, which is almost always horrid and more often than not, doesn't end well, I heard dozens and dozens of those stories, but now with divorce, I am amazed that I have not had one woman tell me a horrible ending. I find that amazing, and so encouraging! But thanks SL, you made me smile, I wonder what your amazing intuition thinks I should do with my hair?!