Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Mermaid on May 04, 2011, 04:43:54 AM
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I'll start with an understatement; MLC causes stress in LBS.
Stress leads to the release of cortisol, which in turn increases irritability. No surprises there; we feel stressed, we get irritable.
If you are anything like me, you may turn to sugar, chocolate or drink to sooth your hurt feelings. I knew about the effect of changing blood sugar on energy. But did you know that these in turn increase the production of cortisol?
Or that hyperallegic souls like me can have allergic reactions to chocolate and other phenol type substances that increase irritability still further?
So, stress leads to irritability; sugar increases it, and chocolate still further.
I had noticed a pattern; when my H goes out with OW, I feel stressed. I indulge in my favourite chocolate treats, or other forms of sugar. It's addictive, and I overdo it. Then I have a volcanic reaction, and get completely out of control.
Conclusion? Stay with low GI foods, exercise and meditation.
Comments?
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Prior to all this CRAP..........I was investigating my medical issues with my thyroid....I went in Nov 10' to have a complete metabolic profile and complete thyroid panel done. The results were not good, and I am only 41. My thyroid antibodies were not functioning at all, thus causing my adrenal grands to go into overdrive.....thus burning out my cortisol, testasterone levels and DHE levels and my vitamin D was deathly low as well as vitamin B12.....thus........my dr said my body was running on about .05 of a cylinder in comparison to a normal functioning thyroid and adrenal gland patient that would run on 10 cylinders.
I was feeling horrible and had a myriad of side effects....mostly fatigue and weight gain.....felt like complete crap. He started me on a regiment of medications some prescription and some herbal(not sure I really believe in that) but I had to try something. He told me then in Nov...that any amount of stress in my life would make me feel amplified by 10 over others...........................well then cutie pie decides to walk out the door in early FEB............talk about stress. I have been beyond stressed and feeling depressed, can not concentrate, I have forgotten appointments. Even told a girlfriend of mine yesterday that my "sister" had told me -----......mind you I DO NOT HAVE A SISTER!! I feel like I am going COMPLETELY NUTS.....I know part of it is normal and everyone on here is dealing and feeling the emotional loss and rejection/dejection. But I feel so much more out of sorts.....been to the dr 5 times to really no avail. They just keep throwing AD and anti-anxiety meds at me as well as sleeping medication. I did go about 2 weeks ago to a new endocrinologist....and they did a ultrasound on my thyroid....and found 5 nodules.....on 2.6 cm....I have to go back in 6 weeks to re-scan....so on told of all this CRAZINESS...and feeling completely like total utter crap..........I have to worry that these nodules could be cancerous.
I really do not know how much more I can take.....I know a few people on here have medical background....xyzcy and a few others....any advice here.
Mermaid.........you are so correct cortisol levels can really Rep havoc on your system. I know firsthand.
wheeeeeeeeewww that was a lot.
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Hi whyme2. On top of all this, you have to deal with this with thyroid problems. I can hardly imagine!!!
Have you been to a nutritionist? Perhaps a diet to balance out some of the effects of the thyroid malfunction, together with your meds, would help? Or has the doctor told you?
You've probably seen this, but incase you haven't:
http://www.healthsearchonline.com/nutrition-thyroid-foods-that-help/ (http://www.healthsearchonline.com/nutrition-thyroid-foods-that-help/)
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Coffee is bad news too...spiking blood sugar only to crash later on...causing irritability. I am addicted and am starting to come up with a plan to wean myself. With three kids this is very hard to do but it affects me very much.
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Caffeine (in chocolate, coffee, tea) contains polyphenol, which will also induce irritability in sensitive individuals, espcially those senstive to salycilic acid (the main active subtance in aspirin);
Chocolate is particulary bad for those with an intolerance to salicylic acid.
"Those who suffer from Salicylate intolerance can have a cocaine like effect from the build up of this substance, hence sleep problems, restlessness, agitation, extreme re-activeness, acute anxiety, rage and exacerbated mood extremes are common and 'normal'."
Wow! Add chocolate, coffee, sugar, sleepless nights and MLC, what do you get? A volcano!
(http://i717.photobucket.com/albums/ww173/prestonjjrtr/Weather/th_volcano4tr_.gif) (http://media.photobucket.com/image/volcano lava small transparent background icon icons emoticon emoticons animated animation animations gif/prestonjjrtr/Weather/volcano4tr_.gif?o=1)
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Well, I have dealt with an underactive thyroid for years. Plus ADHD, although with me there is very little hyper left to that, and I also have Polycycstic Ovary Syndrome.....which I call the POS disorder because it pretty much is a piece of &*#*. :)
A few years ago the doctor put me on high blood pressure medication even though mine has never actually been very high. And he also said I was pre-diabetic. Let's face it.....I'm falling apart!!
Add in stress and MLC and it's literally a miracle I do not have Tourette's Syndrome!! :)
So, coke and chocolate are my drugs of choice when it's bad. Neither one of those are good for me, so I'm slowly killing myself, I suppose. At least it's not alcohol or cigarettes or other forms of substance abuse.
Heck, I don't even play bingo! I used to garden when I was stressed out, but my thoughtful h put an end to that when the house was foreclosed on. (Sorry....still working on the bitterness over that loss! Ha!)
I tried hard for a short period of time.....ok, so it was only a couple of days...it just seemed like a long time.....to follow a strict, "good for me" diet. Then stress hit me again and wham! I was back on the coke and chocolate. ::)
Besides all of the crap of being an LBS and dealing with my h with MLC and the rollercoaster behavior, this is the one area of my life I have a difficult time with.
A month after BD, the doctor put me on a mild anxiety medication. It works great!
I also make sure I read my devotional every day and try to pump myself up all the time so I can have a positive attitude instead of negative, doom and gloom like my husband.
I admit to you that all of this is exhausting because it's a constant struggle. That's the part I really hate about being a LBS. At least for me, it seems like when/if I get a break, it's only a short one. Then I remember all too well what is going on in my life.
I have got to get past this point and move on. And yet after 34 years with someone, that's the hard part, isn't it?
One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. :)
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So you are saying the donut and coffee I had for lunch today were not a good idea? ;) (I didn't just admit to that did I? ::))
I have a terrible sweet tooth and have a hard time staying away, even though I know it would help my emotions. Guess I should work on it. That, and exercising.
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You and me both, Trusting! Although I am not a coffee drinker.
I am reminded of an old comic strip I read of a man going to a weekly weight loss meeting. Other members were sharing how they dealt with temptation. You know, the usual suggestions.....drink water, remove all fattening foods from your house, chew sugarless gum, etc.
This guy got up and admitted that if he was tempted to eat something he shouldn't....he just ate it and then it wouldn't be tempting him anymore!!!! :) ;D ;)
I have more in common with that guy that I should admit to everyone! LOL! :)
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Hmm, well I don't drink any caffeine and chocolate is also reduced because caffeine gives me headaches.
always has.
there are plenty of easter eggs still lyinground but I"m not tempted.
I'm not fond of sugary drinks.
My downfall is dairy products, milk and cheese. Love them. but even now i just don't eat as much. By rights i should be a waif LOL
But really that just tells me how much i WAS eating before all this
So maybe that is why i am so calm? i don't have caffeine, chocolate or sugar?
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although dairy can be high in fat..in moderation it's a good source of protein..
So much better than riding the glycemic rollercoaster. Better to have protein, grains and vegetables as it will help from spiking sugar and adding to emotional crashes. White flour is also troublemaker..I know all this and yet I just have to get out of the habit of bad nutrition...it makes all the difference.
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If you can go a week without sugar, you will have broken the addiction. Check out the Sunday times from early April- the magazine section was all about sugar as a toxin. It promotes inflammation. B/c my body is in uber inflammation state in the nervous system, I had the will power to avoid sugar and have had hardly any since mid April. When I did break down and have a cup of cocoa, I immediately wanted more sweet. Knowing the addiction piece, I was able to resist, but oh, our bodies crave it.
Protein with a bit of fat will satiate you. My new breakfast of champions is a whole wheat English muffin and a fried egg- no butter on the muffin, just the melted butter from cooking the egg. It holds me til lunch.
Love coffee and am not willing to give it up. Have given up eating chocolate in the afternoon and later- keeps me up.
Take the self-care measure of good nutrition.
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I've heard of sugar as a toxin before. People with food intoleances and allergies (like me) have to be especially careful, because of the inflammatory effect, the effect on unbalancing intestinal flora, among other things.
I'm a sugar addict and a comfort eater, and I know that sugar, chocolate and coffee are bad for me. But now I realise that they worsen the feelings of devastation and betrayal. It's bad enough on its own.
I refuse to give up coffee, but I have reduced it, avoided chocolate and sugar most of the week, and gone running. I feel much better, but I still feel sad. I suppose no amount of good food or bad food can stop that feeling.
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I do not indulge in a lot of sugar so I didn't look at this post until today. I have been craving chocolate and that is highly unusual for me. So I have been feeling really miserable and the chocolate has been adding to it. I do drink coffee but only with half and half. I don't touch any kind of soda, especially diet, which I read somewhere is like ingesting enbalming fluid.
Also, for anyone who has cysts or cancer or pretty much any other type of ailment, look up the cottage cheese and flaxseed oil diet. It cured my ovarian cysts and the cyst my daughter had on her breast. It has a whole diet regimen included, but I only ate the flaxseed oil mixed with organic yogurt(i don't like cottage cheese) and fruit, nuts and honey. Also, it tells you to avoid sugar.
So no more chocolate for me. Hopefully my dark cloud will lift now.