Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Velika on September 16, 2019, 04:54:25 PM
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I can no longer remember if I have posted this topic before, but has anyone here observed their spouse developing migraines within months before or months after bomb drop?
I have mentioned elsewhere on the forum that before this began, my ex developed a series of strange, clammy fevers and illness accompanied by bad headaches. At one point I remember he couldn't drive and then days later had to take the day off from work.
Post bomb drop he would develop such bad migraines he would curl up in a ball. Now my son told me he continues to get migraines.
He didn't get this type of headache before. I have mentioned as well, he also has two grooves on either side of his head that weren't there before.
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No... sorry Velika, my X had no migraines.
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I can’t say I have observed the same in my H.
He did get heartburn from drinking way too much!
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No headaches of any kind for my H. He did complain of worsening stomach/digestive issues and heartburn. Even asked me what I thought he should do about it...even though OW was an RN in a GI clinic.
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Belies,
Yes, my H is getting them....they are bad enough he leaves work and comes home passes out on the couch soaked with sweat....
H always told me he had them as a child....he was abandoned several times for months before finally being abandoned permanently at 13.
H talks about being hospitalized at 12 with blinding migraines from the stress of not having a car at the time....no parent=no car=no way to get food for him and his sister. He would drive when his Foo mom was to high to go to the store.
He said he always had them over stress.....he used to comment that he never had even one since we started dating.
Now he gets them every couple of days at work....and if you’ve ever seen the kind of exhaustion that people get after a panic attack or seizure.....he sleeps like that for at least 3-5 hrs after.
It’s stress related. They literally can’t take the stress...it spikes their BP and heart rate and adrenaline is flooding their system.
When H comes home like that I treat him like a baby, dim lights, lukewarm shower, close the blinds and put on some delta wave relaxation music and just let him sleep....sometimes he asks for soothing things like rocking or to just lightly rub his head. Just let him sleep it off. It takes him actually falling asleep before his heart rate will come down...just sheer exhaustion from the panic.
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During replay my H did for the first time since I'd known him began experiencing headaches. I don't believe they were migraines though.
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Sada,
I don’t think they are migraines either...I get those...and when I do they are throwing up, getting an aura migraines....this is not the same animal at all...but H calls them migraines..🤷♀️
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My Mlcer absolutely did get migrain headaches on and off for a month or so about 4 months before BD. Which was odd because she had never had issues before. Very interesting. I remember her having to come home from work because she was in so much pain.
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Yes, my Ex complained of headaches quite frequently before and after bomb drop. His hands became clammy and then broke out in skin rashes that the doctors couldn't determine why. As he also couldn't sleep because of the anxiety he was experiencing I chalked these symptoms up to sleep deprivation. I really had no idea what was happening at the time.
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My husband slept and slept. The rest of the time ( when he was awake) he was continually rubbing his face or forehead. I assume it was headaches or stress reaction to continually massage his forehead. If there was any stressful interaction with him, he would sleep for hours...almost like a stress-shutdown.
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No. Mr J had no migraines and no health issues, aside from MLC depression.
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Yes...... during the lead up to BD, the whole "Stealth" emotional detachment phase..... Yes, Migraines.
After BD..... not that I know of, which doesn't mean she isn't having them.
She never had them before the four year pre-BD. Interesting to think about.
-SS