Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: terra on October 21, 2019, 06:04:03 AM
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For what it’s worth, astrologically no one escapes a Chiron return at midlife. Chiron is present in all our charts, and makes its return to the natal placement around 49 to 51 years. While typically an approximately two-year transit, since February 2019 Chiron is presently in the sign of Aries, and will stay in Aries until 2027. If you are close to 50 years old, you are probably feeling it. If your MLCer is close to 50 years old, they are probably feeling it too.
Basically, anyone born between April 1968 and late March 1977 is IN IT right now. And honestly, the only way not to have the Chiron return is to not have the life.
You do have the life. So does your MLC spouse. God willing, you both keep it.
But Chiron time is not easy time. It’s deep and possibly lonely, and possibly scary, as we face what we need to face in order to move forward from any buried past.
I’m not an astrologer by profession, so am just sharing out the topic for you to consider.
“Transiting Chiron in strong conjunction with natal Chiron
The strongest blend of the energies represented by these two planets.
This is a time for reflection on the arc of your life's unfolding, an evolutionary process that continues all through your adulthood, since you are experiencing your "Chiron return" at around age fifty. Since our culture is predisposed to value youth and discard old age, many people begin to feel out of the picture in their fifties, no matter how little actual truth there may be in that assumption. It is a good time to take stock and to plan for the next fifty years! It is also a time for re-examination of some of the painful issues that may be part of your make-up and that may have been holding you back until now. Usually some issues from early childhood that were too painful to deal with in their era, and that have become repressed and remain lodged in your unconscious, come up during this period of time, perhaps brought on by recent events. These repressed feelings may be difficult and painful to deal with, but there is a rich reward for getting in touch with these walled-off areas in order to become more whole. You can achieve a much greater degree of self-acceptance and ease once you have made the dark journey of discovery to find what lies within that space, that has been calling out to you all these years.”
One site notes that not much is written yet of these returns, and really, I think that is probably some “keep it to yourself” generational aspect in the generations that have already lived through it. And I’m not saying astrology explains everything — it is, however, a method of understanding that is thousands of years old and still valued at its most mathematical and elegant precision. What I mean is, it’s not just daily horoscopes and love matches.
Would love to hear what you think of this. Did you know about Chiron? Are you or your spouse presently in Chiron return? Or, are either or both of you past your Chiron transits, and if so, how’d those go?
I am certain that if we make it past this time in our lives, our lives become so much better. Are you with me? Let’s find out about that.
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29+ viewers think the above is hogwash ;D
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I was born in 1958 so this doesn't apply to me. Or does it? I wonder if my parents lied to me and I was really born in 1968. And my wife's parents must have lied to her and she was really born in 1972 instead of 1962. Now all of this this is starting to make sense. :D
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This is so interesting terra, thank you for posting. I'm not familiar with the midlife Chiron Return, but have something vague at the back of my mind about Chiron being The Wounded Healer?
Anyway, according to your starting post, my mlc h is currently IN IT, so that fits....
I'm younger than him so still have this to look forward to ;D
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MBIB, if I’m reading the transit tables right, your Chiron would be in Aquarius and your return would have been from 2005 to 2010. So you’re already through that one! Anything big happen in those years? You don’t have to say here; I’m mostly posting about it at all just to stir anyone’s self-reflection, if they are so inclined. But if you notice that there was something different or especial for you during your Chiron time, I’d love to hear about it. Even without putting a lot of importance on astrology topic, I’m finding that this year has been markedly different for me, and I’m daunted by the prospect of it being “like this” for the next long while.
If you are past your Chiron return, be glad and be proud!
Evergreen, yes! Chiron is the Wounded Healer. We all have it activated at various points in our lives but the Chiron return at midlife is the big one. The Pisces transit and Aries transits are the longest, so if you are a later 77-liner or younger than that, yours will not be an eight-year transit! Thank goodness.
I realize this is sort of an odd way to consider midlife transitions but I figure maybe it goes well with UM’s Full Moon notifications, especially if anyone here is in the Chiron Aries age group or struggling with a spouse who is. I don’t anticipate “updating” the thread — is just for discussion! — as the next time I would have reason to update will be sometime in June 2026, when Chiron moves into Taurus briefly before finishing up the Aries business.
I am in my Chiron return. H is in the same Chiron return. As much as the past several years have been arduous, for me at least this year feels much more so. I find myself really hoping it is all hogwash and things even out much sooner than 2027.
In more lucid moments during MLC, h has repeatedly entreated me to look at the long game. “Keep looking at the LONG game,” he says. I never knew what he meant by it. I think I still don’t. I am kind of sure that our Chiron in Aries wasn’t exactly what he was talking about, but in an idle moment, this is what works for me.
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! MBIB, your wife’s natal Chiron would be in Pisces, and her midlife Chiron return transit would have started in late April 2010, finishing up and passing the baton to us Chiron Aries natives in February of this year.
If it’s hogwash, ;D say so and I promise I will not feel offended or hurt, but rather just relieved that I can do my own thing until 2027 without feeling the stars have got it in for me — or for anyone else!! I am not a horoscope watcher typically, except for the major transits, and lately for me it has been a lot of major transits. Counterbalance is very much welcome.
Someone mentioned in another thread that the whole world seems to have gone loopy. I don’t exactly want to be the bringer of that information or any sort of expert astrologically, but there actually is a ton of intense astrological activity at this time in history. It explains a lot, if we’re looking at life right now through that filter. But it also doesn’t explain it, so, consider this discussion thread just my Halloween season approach to our topics here.
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Terra, I can't say whether this is hogwash or not. I'm the first to admit there are a lot of things that I don't know. All that I can do is provide you with data points. You can do whatever you wish with them.
I was born in October 1958. My father died on October 28, 2007, 2 days before my 49th birthday. My granddaughter left our home to live with her mother sometime around the middle of 2010. My crisis started soon after that. I think I may be nearing the end of it but I'm not sure.
My wife was born in January 1962. My wife's father died in July 2011. I believe her crisis began early in 2013. BD was June 2014. As far as I can tell she's still in Replay.
BTW, my sister was born on October 25, her husband was born on October 21, and their anniversary is October 23. But she's 11 years older than me, he's 13 years older than me, and they've been married for 53 years.
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I will say that in *my* opinion, astrology is utter hogwash. :D
However, I will also admit that xH was born within the dates in question, while I wasn't.
COINCIDENCE? Perhaps not! ;D
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My XW and I were Born in 1973, I truely think this is hogwash. More excuse making/finding to protect lying cheats .
No offence meant, terra ;)
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FWIW
Me : 1963 so past and I didn't flip out
xW: 1969 so in it NOW but not 4 years ago when it blew up (nor for the 18-24 months prior that lead up to ABD)
Therefore, I have to cast my vote with Humbug...
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No offense taken; part of the reason for the original post was to elicit this kind of feedback!
I put it out to a different set of folks and am enjoying the contrast in opinions and the verifying through everyone’s personal responses. One thing that is heartening to see is that even among the dedicated astrology buffs, people who have completed the transit are clear that while their years of transit were difficult, it was on-the-ground and internal issues that made it so.
My inner jury is out on whether it is total silliness. While not something to dictate life’s choices and actions or personal behaviors, and definitely not a great excuse for any negative, I can’t help but think it’s got some truth to do with how we are, how we care, etc. But I also know it’s a rabbit hole and more complex and mathematical than my own life has time for.
With the idea of “hogwash” last night, I looked at the factors in select branches of the family tree. It was interesting to remember why I loved these people and how I felt they understood me. And then to see certain aspects that were shared, and that “made sense”, or that would to those who value astrology beyond the Buzzfeed or Cosmo magazine horoscope. It’s an odd comfort to see the factors that are “like me” in the elders that I felt were indeed a lot like me, and reminds me what strengths and stories they showed in life, that I may now leverage to weather my own.
I’m not making a case for it, exactly, but explaining background. I have had it around me lifelong and so can see reasons it is valued. Another aspect of it for me is maybe like MBTI or enneagrams, genograms and ancestral DNA. Whether astronomical or astrological, those twelve signs have featured in human life for such a long time. Astronomical clocks come to mind, like the Orloj in Prague that was built centuries ago.
If nothing else, another reason for the thread is to find others here who have that language, at least, and can use it lightly in common conversation as needed when things are tough. As lunar phases, eclipses, and Mercury retrograde have entered common culture, with an eye toward all this MLC business it seems like good time for Chiron to be discussed also.
Still with an eye toward “hogwash”, it was interesting to see that in my own life, xh *stopped* creating havoc once his transit began. So his MLC worst was prior to the transit altogether. And he’s plenty nice now. But is not my h.
And this is still in Halloween spirit — just seeing how folks feel about it here. THANK you all for counterbalance!