Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Midlife Crisis => Our Community => Topic started by: JohnnyBravo on May 24, 2022, 07:48:02 PM
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Broke into new thread territory; old thread is here:
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11847.150 (https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11847.150)
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I hope you are doing something for yourself tonight as I’m sure it was exhausting today.
If doing something for myself includes having a frozen pizza, ice cream, and bourbon for dinner while watching cut-rate scifi movies on TV, then yes indeed, I did. (I did cook the pizza before consuming.)
And you are correct, W was working the entire time. She found a job within two months after we relocated. She tried to counter our short marriage by saying I supported her while we were dating, but that was paying for dates, and a few vacations. Nothing like helping her with bills, etc.
Imgood, one of the other reasons I wanted to get this settled was to refi before interest rates went up any further. Despite the long back and forth, we did build up some momentum, and if I walked away it could have caused us to start over.
Imgood and ML, I do hope she realizes that some day. I assume that will happen when she's sitting in her empty house with no friends, but I guess there's no way to know.
xyzcf, I really appreciate the support from someone on the long road...
JB
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JB,
I can only relate what happened to me with xW1 - she too went after everything she could get her hands on and, in fact, I took on over 30k$ of martial debt that she had run up in the time before the BD.
Long story short, I paid off all the debt, have a pristine and excellent credit record and moved on with my life. She was forced to sell the townhouse we lived in that she "bought" from me for $1.00 and ended up declaring bankruptcy. Of course, that too was my fault...
Ironically, xW2 has bought an overpriced Condo and is now struggling financially, despite now getting the full amount of child support.
Choices have consequences.... and they WILL come at some point...
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Thanks, Ursa.
Admittedly, W has lived within her means to this point, saving for specific things, etc. She used to carry a bit of 0% interest credit card debt, but always kept it under control. So, she could get by OK, but her earning potential will definitely taper off, and I doubt she'll amass any further retirement.
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Following along Johnny.
I know it wasn't a perfect settlement but at least you only need to pay alimony for a year. That will go by fast.
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Despite being one of our few resident heathens, I've taken to listening to the Sunday morning gospel show on our local public radio station. It's really good stuff.
From today's show, here's one for the long-term veterans, and something for us newbies to aspire to: "I'm Glad I Don't Look Like What I've Been Through."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlyRxlodM60 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlyRxlodM60)
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I'm glad I don't look like what I've been though as well ;D. Although thank goodness for hair dye. I went in to get my hair done this last week and the woman that does my hair said, wow, you have a lot more gray than 2 months ago when we dyed it the last time :-\ What's a girl to do?
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I'm glad I don't look like what I've been though as well ;D. Although thank goodness for hair dye. I went in to get my hair done this last week and the woman that does my hair said, wow, you have a lot more gray than 2 months ago when we dyed it the last time :-\ What's a girl to do?
Smack the woman that does your hair with a 2x4? I mean, seriously.... WHO says something like that...
(https://media.giphy.com/media/vwI4mYEHP8k0w/giphy.gif)
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Well, there it is. Decree finalized today. In the grand scheme of things, I suppose if a marriage certificate can be "just a piece of paper," so can a divorce decree. I'll just have to see what happens. But, I've got a lot to do immediately; taking XW off of my insurance now, so at least I'll get a few $$ back in my paycheck.
When my atty's paralegal sent the decree, her email started with, "Congratulations! I know this is bittersweet, but..."..
Congratulations" is what XW's atty should be saying to HER. or "jackpot!', maybe.
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I’m sorry JB. It’s hard to know and see it be official. My XH never hired an atty.
My atty emailed me and it seemed so unworthy of 30 years of marriage. I forwarded to my XH with congratulations you were divorced yesterday. He emailed back
“ not congratulations, just trying to keep going”
You’re exactly right. It means nothing. If she works through her MLC and her feelings come back nothing will keep you apart. For now you will move forward and hope for better days ahead and they are coming with or without her.
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Thanks, MadLuv!!!!
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Oh JB :'(
Sorry to hear today was the day.
Really feel for you buddy.
I hope it gets easier..... soon.
-SS
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I’m sorry too, JB.
No matter how your perspective evolves with time/events or how much better life gets from here (and it will if only bc divorce is a draining process), this wasn’t your choice or where you thought your marriage or old life would end up. And that always feels a bit sad perhaps, even if everything else in life is going ok.
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I remember that day (August 31, 2019) very well myself.
xW was as happy as a clam and all smiles....
It took me a while (of course, we had already been separated 3 years prior and the process had taken 2 years due to her not providing the needed paperwork so I wasn't surprised.
This is just one more thing to add to the heaping plate of poop that is MLC.
And "Congratulations?" WTF? "Bittersweet?" Seriously? Seems that the paralegal needs a bit of ... well, let's just say personal experience might not be amiss to allow them to acquire some empathy.... ::)
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For today's occasional installment of inspirational songs, I bring you the Johnny Adams rendition of "There Is Always One More Time."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSqvsCmvB1A (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSqvsCmvB1A)
(Not from the gospel show, this was used in the movie Bowfinger.)
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That’s a good one and never had heard it!!
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Consequences... Just got a text from ex-wife saying she just realized that her car insurance card expired, asking if she's covered until the end of the month or if she needs to get insurance now. I just told her she'd need new insurance now, didn't bother telling her that I took her off as soon as the decree came out from the court. (I'm not even sure that insurance was valid after she changed her address to a different state.)
I also happened to look at my email, and saw a password reset request for my car insurance account. Coincidence? I think not.
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Yes JB. Amazing when they realize there are consequences. She’ll have to figure things out on her own.
HF
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HAHAHAHAHAH..... sorry JB, I couldn't contain myself ;)
Funny how thoughts and reality creep in when they least expect it.
Well, some adulting will have to take place won't it?
It's a good thing, but a little funny ;D
You handled that so good!!
-SS
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Consequences... Just got a text from ex-wife saying she just realized that her car insurance card expired, asking if she's covered until the end of the month or if she needs to get insurance now. I just told her she'd need new insurance now, didn't bother telling her that I took her off as soon as the decree came out from the court. (I'm not even sure that insurance was valid after she changed her address to a different state.)
I also happened to look at my email, and saw a password reset request for my car insurance account. Coincidence? I think not.
Darn those pesky consequences.... Wait until she finds out what new insurance is going to cost he...
(https://media.giphy.com/media/l0IxYWDltdHEqujnO/giphy.gif)
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JB- anchor check…..she could call the insurance company and ask that?? She found a reason to contact you,plzzzzzzzz
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ML, I thought that originally, but she DID try to log in to the insurance website (and tried to reset the password, which is odd, since it's linked to MY email account). I think it's more fog stupor, as the card says "Expiration date 6/x/2022," so the policy obviously expires 6/x/2022, not 6/30/2022...
But that's a good point, she could have called as well. I also think she just waited to ask, as I doubt she just happened to look at the card on the day it expired...
(Ursa, she's not in for too much of a shock; insurance there is about half what it is here, since this is a "problem state." But she never paid any of it before, so there's THAT.)
Thanks!
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Ursa, she's not in for too much of a shock; insurance there is about half what it is here, since this is a "problem state." But she never paid any of it before, so there's THAT.
My experience when I tried to insure "our car" which was became my car in the settlement in the same state and with the same insurance company as was previously insured was that I was charged substantially more because I was single and not married. Same car, same address and same driver....I was really angry about that!
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Yes, the multi car and home combo brings it down for sure!!!
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Yes, the multi car and home combo brings it down for sure!!!
No,in my case I still had all that..it was because I was single and not married.
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I think my insurance went down more from taking her car off, but it definitely went back up on taking XW off as a driver and changing my status to "single."
Although, my motorcycle policy also went up when I went from three bikes to two, so... That stuff is non-rational.
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Read an interesting idea in an article today, thought someone would appreciate it:
I suspect the trick to manifesting your destiny is to move forward trusting that what’s happening to you is happening for you.
(Article about Dave Grohl, quote by the author.)
https://www.premierguitar.com/pro-advice/last-call/dave-grohl-the-storyteller (https://www.premierguitar.com/pro-advice/last-call/dave-grohl-the-storyteller)
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“Life is just too damn short to let someone else’s opinion steer the wheel.”
—Dave Grohl, The Storyteller
I so agree! ;D
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It’s not about the prize; it’s about the journey: the rejection, embarrassment, discomfort, and lessons you learn along the way. The reward is that you become the person you’re supposed to be. I suspect the trick to manifesting your destiny is to move forward trusting that what’s happening to you is happening for you
. So agree. Goes back to the simple fact that what doesn’t kill you truly does make you stronger
, you steadfastly work, keep your mind/soul open, say yes, be grateful, and put your whole heart into it, eventually, amazing things will happen to you. It will be a wild ride full of soul-crushing and soul-expanding experiences that will lead you where you’re supposed to be
Be grateful!!! Appreciate what you have!!! It’s so simple really isn’t it?
Good read! Thank you JB
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Wow JohnnyBravo- I really enjoyed that article... def. gave me things to think about. Thank you for posting it!
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Great article and perspective, JB. I'm a longtime Foo Fighters fan, and their song Walk and Disturbed's The Light both became my LBS theme songs of sorts. Music is some of the cheapest and best therapy.
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Thunder, MadLuv, thissucks, beyond, thanks for the comments!
Our Grohl show went pretty well yesterday. I had asked to be put on Learn to Fly as my LBS song (didn't tell anyone that was why). (beyondblessed, I forgot about Walk, which the class also did.) We wound up opening with that, and the rest of the band dropped about half of the chorus near the end. They did that at the last rehearsal prior, and I thought I might have just forgotten, but I listened to it before the show and made sure I had it down. Oh, well. I had a bit of fluctuating tempo on a couple of other songs, but overall I think we did pretty well. Next season is Ramones and The Clash.
JB
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That sounds like so much fun JB 8)
How awesome..... dividing time into "seasons".... then you can see how far you've come with music. Super cool ;D
Next thing you know, you'll be doing solos ;)
-SS
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JB, I was just wondering how you are fairing lately. I hope you are doing well.
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JB, I was just wondering how you are fairing lately. I hope you are doing well.
Thank you for checking in, MoS! Things are chugging along. Fall is a bit of the bummer because it was a big season for "us" and last week was (no longer) our anniversary. But, I do have plans coming up for some local events, and traveling to visit family for Christmas. I've put my plans to move into a smaller house on hold until interest rates and the housing market settle down a bit, and also after I finish paying support next year. So not much to report on the forums, although I still read up to see how people are doing.
And catching up on reading my collection of books, and working on my motorcycle. And got cast on some good songs for music school, so I've been working on those.
Interesting that your H wanted money for a house... That was the foundation of my XW's settlement demands. It is madness, yet there is method to it.
Thanks again,
JB
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Hi, all
It's been a while since I've posted directly! Nothing to update on the MLC front, but for me, we had our "Clash vs. Ramones" music show on Saturday, and we kicked a$$. We were at a different venue (brewery) than the previous two shows, and I guess the school hasn't played there before at all, but there was a lot more audience space and it was full. The stage was outside (under a roof), and the weather warmed up perfectly. This was the first time we ever had audience members yelling for an encore, and we're all, "Uh, we didn't practice anything else..." (And we don't always remember songs from previous seasons.) One of our vocals/guitar guys did his acoustic guitar rendition of Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time," and a subgroup who has been working together did Def Leppard's "Animal." Next season is an '80s mishmash.
Also read an interesting book: "When Breath Becomes Air" by neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi. He was nearing the end of his neurosurgery residency when he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. As he had earned an BA and MA in English Lit prior to med school, he decided to write an autobiography. It had some interesting reflections on purpose of life and such, none of which I can quote because I don't have the book with me at work. :)
Take care,
JB
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Hey JB!!!
You sound great!! ;D
Rocking it out with the band, how cool is that?
-SS
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All sounds great! I wish we could all come be in that audience. Sounds like a fun time.
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Thank you, MadLuv and StandingStrong!
I don't see the "links for discussion" thread any more, so I'll post this here. This randomly popped up in my YouTube feed, and I'm really on the fence about posting it because it seems like a "pickup" channel, but the points cover a number of suggestions that we generally make for LBSers. It's also a bit odd because it's using fictional characters (Don Draper clips from Mad Men) to make the points, but I guess there isn't much footage of real life people doing this. I also have to admit that I've used the "silence makes you look in control" thing; when I was a head ref in roller derby, the skaters all thought I was calm, collected, and had everything under control, but often the reality inside my head was me standing there thinking, "What the firetruck just happened?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmOAznOQX-g (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmOAznOQX-g)
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In RCR's courses, she talks about "beginners mind" aka "childlike wonder." (pro tip: It's a good thing.)
Saw this spoof article today:
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-wishing-he-got-excited-about-anything-in-life-like-his-three-year-old-seeing-a-backhoe (https://babylonbee.com/news/man-wishing-he-got-excited-about-anything-in-life-like-his-three-year-old-seeing-a-backhoe)
(For my 40th birthday, I gave myself an experience called "Dig This!" where I learned to drive a bulldozer and a tracked excavator. The company is in Las Vegas now.)
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Nothing about MLC today, but I'm in the midst of a four-day motorcycle trip, and am presently relaxing in a wigwam:
https://sleepinawigwam.com/ (https://sleepinawigwam.com/)
I've been pretty lucky with avoiding serious rain so far, but now I'm waiting for it to let up before I walk to dinner.
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Well, how fun is that? Enjoy!!
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Happy Independence Day, Americans!
For no particular reason, High Steppin' by the Avett Brothers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwebrzEldA0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwebrzEldA0)
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Hi, all! Hope you're doing the best you can for the place you're in.
Ol' JB tried dipping into the dating pool, and I've come running back out. OK, it wasn't that bad. In fact, I met a really great woman, but I was just looking for dating, going out and doing things, etc., and she was looking for something more serious. I just wasn't ready for that. And, I think there were a few other factors involved: She divorced five years ago, far longer than me. She is here for contract medical work (locum), so she has a lot of free time, whereas I do not, and have things I need to take care of in my off time. She also decided to move here not too long after we started dating, which blew my safety net of long-distance. :) And when I say "here," she's actually living about 75 minutes away, so it's not like we could just meet for dinner on short notice. All of these things seemed to make this ramp up faster than I was probably ready for. We did have a lot in common, and shared a number of interests.
I'm also mentally distracted by my plan to move into a smaller place closer to downtown, which is something I'm looking forward to and dreading at the same time. I think the act of moving is the "dreading" part, just because I fully settled into my current house, thinking this would be the forever home. (A feeling most of you are familiar with.) I was originally thinking of moving this fall, but I think I'm going to wait another year so I can boost my savings, and hopefully mortgage rates will stabilize and drop a little bit, too. (Wishful thinking!) Maybe after I move and settle in again, I'll be in a better headspace for relationships.
We made it about four months, and I think we parted on as good of terms as anyone can... She said she was glad to have met me, and I'm glad I met her, as it's good to know there are other decent people out there. And in my younger days, I probably would have said whatever I had to to keep a relationship going to avoid emotional discussions; now, I just face up to the fact that it's not working. Baby steps.
Now, I'm looking forward to cooler weather, and a long motorcycle trip in a couple of weeks. (I'm even taking an extra day to ride a historic steam train, because I'm a nerd like that.) I hope you all are doing well!
JB
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You go Johnny! We are all rooting for you. I am also dipping my toes in the apps. You're ready when you're and only then. Very good of you not to compromise and not to string along. Cheers.
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Sounding good JB. Maybe on a motorcycle trip you. An still meet up with your new friend for dinner as you pass through!! It’s great you are dipping a little. I still cant. Not because I am not open to it, but I honestly don't know if I will ever want to get to know someone and there back story. People say leave that all in the past, but how do you know anyone in depth without knowing their full story and that takes so long. That part seems overwhelming to me. I wish I could also go out and just have dinner or a movie etc. I have tried 2 males friendships and they could not stay in the friend zone. I guess you have to find the right person, with the same interests and also be in the same place in life. That sounds reasonable, NOT! Hahaha
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but I honestly don't know if I will ever want to get to know someone and there back story. People say leave that all in the past, but how do you know anyone in depth without knowing their full story and that takes so long. That part seems overwhelming to me.
How interesting. That’s the part that sounds amazing and wonderful and interesting to me. Getting to know someone on a deep level and trusting them enough to let them know you on a deep level… I want nothing more.
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Oh I agree, but after all this and a 30 year marriage I don’t think I have the energy or inclination to start over now at 61. If I was 40 maybe. I think my age has a huge part in it. I feel I spent 30 years with someone and they are not who I thought they were, so I think how do we know anyone or what they are capable of? I guess if the right one comes along.
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I don't know why it never occurred to me to post this before, but if anyone wants to burn their gloom away, the Zozobra festival is a week from Friday. This was started by a Santa Fe artist in 1924, and has continued since. It is a 50' effigy named Zozobra, who is stuffed with people's bad memories and set alight to great fanfare. I haven't been yet, but I'll have to make sure I go for the 100th burning next year.
https://burnzozobra.com/ (https://burnzozobra.com/)
There's a history link for the back story, and if you go to the shop, you can pay $1 for your gloom message to be printed out and stuffed in Zozobra, of $5 to upload divorce papers/covid diagnosis/whatever else. The burning will be streamed online at koat.com. Definitely something with a lot of local flavor, if you're into that sort of thing. Probably a good place for a HS meetup someday...
JB
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While I'm on a roll...
Today is the anniversary of the Baltic Way (1989), a human chain connecting the capitals of Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia, in protest of the Soviet occupation of the Baltic states. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltic_Way (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltic_Way)
The end of the chain in Vilnius is marked by a tile in Cathedral Square that says "Stebuklas" (miracle). Which goes to show you, miracles can happen, but you have to work for them.
JB
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On the lighter side:
Ol' Johnny B finally discovered that you have to HEAT THE WATER BEFORE PUTTING IT INTO THE FLIPPIN' BREADMAKER to activate rapid yeast. After 4-5 years of maybe not reading the instructions (although I could swear I did it right at some point), I have something resembling fluffy, delicious, fresh bread. (I'm still testing different starting temperatures to get the best rise, given heat loss to the baking tub.)
Now back to your regular programming.
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What breadmaker did you buy? My first time making bread was after growing up with the metric system. I read the F water temp (100-110 F) for the yeast to foam as C and promptly killed the yeast and wondered why my bread didn't rise.
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Ouch... I'm also trying to not go too far with the temperature.
I have the smaller Zojirushi, BB-HAC10. It seems to work pretty well. I'm at high altitude, which may affect the outcome as well. (Although with lower atmospheric pressure, I'm guessing the yeast should really puff it up...)
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I’ve struggled with bread making JB, it seems like there’s some magic formula to every stage that eludes me….
Have you tried starting sourdough, impossible for me!
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Sourdough would be awesome, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet... :)
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I highly recommend King Arthur's flour company for supplies. I have no affiliation with them, other than as a customer.
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Ouch... I'm also trying to not go too far with the temperature.
I have the smaller Zojirushi, BB-HAC10. It seems to work pretty well. I'm at high altitude, which may affect the outcome as well. (Although with lower atmospheric pressure, I'm guessing the yeast should really puff it up...)
Altitude makes a HUGE difference when baking anything..... I used to live in Colorado Springs and there were adjustments that had to be made. My grandmother gave me a recipe for break that she perfected in Winter Park, CO (like 8500 ft above sea level ) and it is a complete flop here in Germany (at 300 feet above sea level) so I am playing with it to alter it appropriately. The issue has to do with the fact that the boiling point of water is lower the higher you go so recipes need more fluid but, strangely enough a bit more flour as well....
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UM,
Why don't cook books ever tell you that?? Thats' fascinating.
B
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UM,
Why don't cook books ever tell you that?? Thats' fascinating.
B
Good question - I have cookbooks from "normal" altitude (Better Homes and Gardens, Betty Crocker, the old standards) and some from high altitude (Cream of Colorado, etc.) and the usual differences I see for baking are like 3 additional tablespoons of flour and 1/4 cup fluid and an increase in baking time by 10-15 minutes...
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Well, look at you chef JB!! You know I make slovak dumplings and I add a little dry cream of wheat to my dry mix flour etc. in my dough. Makes it nice and fluffy as it helps to add that air to the bread.
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This is over ten years old, but I only found it last week, so...
As we all move forward through fits and starts, find ourselves navigating holidays in a different way that before, and sometimes wonder what the heck we're doing, we can always give it one more try:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XXPGE0klmc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XXPGE0klmc)
https://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-SJB-7041 (https://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-SJB-7041)
Have a great week!
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So, get a motorcycle and ride all your troubles away? Sounds like a plan!!
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Hey, all!
Not sure why this thought occurred to me or why I'm writing about it; probably just to clear it out of my head. I've mentioned previously that my ex-wife and I had a friend in our old town who was a) a train wreck and a narcissist, and b) gave my ex-wife divorce advice. I just remembered something and considered it from a different angle. Some time before Covid, friend Z came to visit us. The three of us went out to a place that's popular for dancing, and at one point Z said, "You've got to ask XW to dance!" XW and I had dance together very few times in our relationship. I think I originally put this off as Z knowing what's best for everyone, as she had done that a lot in the past in various situations. XW and I didn't really know this kind of dancing, but nonetheless I asked her to dance during a slow song, and she didn't want to. I seem to remember Z pushing the issue, and I asked again, but XW didn't want to. In retrospect, I wonder if XW had already confided in Z that she was thinking of leaving, no longer excited, whatever, and Z was trying to help me kickstart things. That certainly puts Z in a better light, although she still isn't someone I would consider continuing a friendship with without some other connection. Her and her (now ex) husband were funny and fun to hang out with, but there was just a sort of "ick" ask the kids say these days. :) It would also indicate that my ex's doubts about our marriage started much earlier than I thought, which would be par for the course.
As we all can guess, I don't think convincing her to have a dance that night would have changed anything. In fact, we went to the same place later on for free dance lessons night and had a great time, and signed up for dance lessons after. Then Covid hit, so that was halted for a while, and when they re-opened, my ex didn't want to go because "we wouldn't meet anyone else fun there" or something like that. She really just wanted that new blast of attention and excitement, which seems to be the taste sensation that's sweeping the nation these days.
In other news, there have been discussions about tarot cards and other mysticism on other threads. My ex wife used to watch tarot card readers on YouTube, and wanted to get a reading when we went to New Orleans (she ultimately didn't). She used to watch all sorts of YouTube stuff in bed before going to sleep. One night I asked her how a generic tarot reading off of YouTube could be interpreted as applying to her (or anybody; I don't know if they were done with particular birthdays, whatever in mind), and she replied that she looked for consistent patterns. I think she then said that there was a pattern of her coming into money, which I guess was a bit of a sign. Well, she didn't come into money, she (and her lawyer) had to EARN it, baby! :)
In other-other news, I've been starting to pack secondary belongings in preparation for buying and moving into a smaller house to save time later. I've been packing a lot of books, reading some as I go along. Last week I started Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (I'm not sure if I've read it before or not.) For those who haven't read it, the protagonist was kidnapped by an alien race that had mastered time travel. Because of that, they believe that everyone exists simultaneously in every moment of their life. When someone dies or experiences something bad, they don't regard it as bad; it's just an event on a timeline while the same person is experiencing great joy at some other point on their timeline. When something bad happens, they only respond with, "So it goes."
Looking at it from that perspective, even if I'm not thrilled now, JB of 5-6 years ago was very happy and excited for the future, and always will be. JB of two years ago was miserable and always will be (so it goes), but JB of tomorrow may be quite happy.
(Apologies if I offended the literati with that synopsis; I'm an engineer for a reason.)
I thought I had one other tidbit, but it's time to eat. Cheers!
JB
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I was listening to the radio this afternoon, and this song came on with an intro by the artist. She said she was going to therapy to deal with "the big sad," but she kept talking about anything but. Her therapist said, "Olivia, you can't speed this process up, but you CAN slow it down." :)
So there ya go.
Olivia Barton, "Big Sad"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkX0FORr-6A (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkX0FORr-6A)
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Last week I started Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (I'm not sure if I've read it before or not.) For those who haven't read it, the protagonist was kidnapped by an alien race that had mastered time travel. Because of that, they believe that everyone exists simultaneously in every moment of their life. When someone dies or experiences something bad, they don't regard it as bad; it's just an event on a timeline while the same person is experiencing great joy at some other point on their timeline. When something bad happens, they only respond with, "So it goes."
Looking at it from that perspective, even if I'm not thrilled now, JB of 5-6 years ago was very happy and excited for the future, and always will be. JB of two years ago was miserable and always will be (so it goes), but JB of tomorrow may be quite happy.
(Apologies if I offended the literati with that synopsis; I'm an engineer for a reason.)
JB, as a self-anointed literatus (is that the singular?) I wholeheartedly second your synopsis! (Which Vonnegut is it that starts with the Dresden Allies bombing?) I came across the exact same point in the show The Good Place (not very literary of me I know; the audio-visual has Sirened me away from books more than I care to dwell on; exH was insecure about my supposed erudition, being an engineer himself. I wish we could have worked on that.) The thought helped me to no end in living in peace with my loss. My losses coexist with the bliss of all my relationships, and I step aside to bask in the glow cast by the bliss onto that loss.
It's fantastic to see you work with that angle on this radiant idea. Thanks for sharing and cheers.
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Thanks, Sacher!
Brief journal: Lots going on (more later), so I've been reading a bit, but not really responding on the board. I started dating another woman, and we've been out 4-5 times, and I realize it's just not for me. But, she's really into me (misses me during the week, etc.), so I'm really not looking forward to breaking up with her. I feel like she doesn't have a lot going on in her life (she's 2 years older than me), but I know it's not my job to give her something to do. She's a widow, so she's been through enough bad stuff, and I'm sure she's stronger from that, but dangit, I still don't like it. (She's got kids and a granddaughter, and her parents, so I know she has a network of sorts.)
Not the usual for HS, but you're the people I know... :)
JB
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Ugh, sorry, JB. Breaking up with someone SUCKS. But good on you for knowing yourself well enough to end it early.
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Thank you, Nas. I appreciate that.
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This is also a reminder that I need to review the Detachment Reminder Cards from RCR's Detach and Thrive...
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Well, that's done. It sucks because with all of the pop culture of "bears are better than men" and "women are horrible," the two women I've dated since my divorce were absolutely not that and very caring. Ugh. I also found tonight that I was presuming a lot of things in my head. She was ultimately sad but understanding, and absolutely acted our age. Which of course makes me feel worse, but I don't think the door is closed if I finally settle and reconsider.
Thank you for the eyeballs.
JB
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Life os short. You have been through a lot and you don't have to apologize or accept anything but what makes you happy. You keep trying and thats all you can do. I am just now at the point where I could consider it, but I also am not looking and I also wont waste my time if it’s not a fit. Good for you JB for not just using someone to occupy your time or help with boredom. Your time is valuable and you a valuable and after MLC it’s important to remember that.
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Just trying to catch up after a long break from the boards. It sounds like overall you are in a good place. Ultimately, it is a kindness to let the girlfriend know that it isn’t working. It does suck though to have to do.
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Thank you, MadLuv and MomOfSteel!
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In the interest of giving MourningDove's thread a break, here's one for Ursa, HoosierDaddy, and I'm sure a few others: An engineer who became a comedian. He does his shows in PowerPoint.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbVu0rVjJNA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbVu0rVjJNA)
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Hi ho, everybody!
It's about time for an update. Just personal stuff, but lots going on for Dr. Bravo and I've been holding off on updating until a few things finished up.
Job:
I transferred to a new department at work. I was recruited by a colleague who was in the same lead role as me on a related system, and had moved to a more experimental/developmental group. I really thought I would retire as the senior know-it-all on my system, but got tired of reporting everyone else's work instead of doing my own. My manager also used to be in this role, and I don't think he ever left it; he overturned a number of my decisions despite me having other managers on my side.
My manager also seems a bit petty at times, and he "didn't feel it was right" to allow a direct transfer to this new position. That means that the new group had to post a position and I had to interview for it. One other viable candidate passed the initial screen, and the group was so busy that it took 3-4 months for them to find a time to interview my competitor, and finally offer me the position. In the meantime, the person we had tagged to take over my role (who was in my previous group) was getting so stressed out by his job that he was about to give up on waiting and just go do something totally different. So, my manager let HIM transfer after originally planning a job posting.
This also took so long that my new group split, and I'm no longer going to be working for the manager who went through all of the trouble to hire me. As part of the original transfer, he had spoken to the next level manager about submitting me for appointment to the next employment level, and she agreed. Because I had lots of prior work experience, I hired in at the highest promotion level. The next level is an appointment, so there are papers to submit, a panel interview, and a max of 10% of the company can be at that level. The new manager I'll be working for has other people in mind for that appointment, so I'll just have to see how it pans out (or if the L2 says, "Hey, I was going to submit JB for this"). I'm not too bent up about this, but I've had alternating enthusiastic vs. reluctant managers on this point. (My original manager's plan was, "You're a good candidate, we put you in every year as soon as you're eligible because you never know when there will be a lot of open slots due to retirements.")
In the new job, we'll be trying to do something in three years that usually takes 10-15. My industry had a long down period where I think people came up with a lot of extra paperwork and procedures to keep busy, and those are really slowing us down now that we're relevant again.
House:
In June, I bought and moved into a new house; I just closed the sale of my old house on Monday, so that's a big load off. A friend of mine here on HS messaged me and noted that selling the old house would probably stir up some old feelings, and she was right. That was supposed to be the forever (or at least long-term) home for XW and I, and some of the drives out of the neighborhood as I was moving into the new place brought up a lot of those feelings again. (But those feelings were overtaken by aggravation when the buyers had financing issues and I had to keep going back to take care of the place in the meantime, so that helped.)
The new house is a for-real 1958 Mid Century Modern: Open the front door and you're entering a 500 sq ft (45 sq m) tropical atrium, with a water fountain and a wall of glass facing into the house proper. There's a central pantry and kitchen core, and the living and dining rooms are on opposite sides of that, so you get a view of the atrium from both of those areas. The house is only 2/3 the square footage of my old house, so I'm still organizing and figuring out what else I can donate to pare down my belongings. It's also as energy efficient as you would expect a 1958 house to be (single pane windows and lots of them), but fortunately it has solar power that supplies enough for air conditioning. I also built solar screens for the back windows, which were letting a lot of heat in from the summer morning sun. The house is a Mossman, who was the premiere builder in this city for four decades, building about 7,000 houses total. Before going into home building he built wooden highway bridges for the state, and the construction of the house seems to reflect that, with extra structural bracing I haven't seen in other homes.
The house had a covered patio on one corner that was enclosed by a previous owner, and if that weren't done I wouldn't have a place to put my bar, so that worked out great. I'm trying to be careful about spending (as I do have to recover the divorce payout from the sale of the old house), but I'm laying conduit and drainage for a new motorcycle shed like I had at the old house, am looking at some new artwork, and just ordered a pair of Danish pendant lamps for the dining room from the Louis Poulsen store. The lamps are a Poul Henningsen design that looks a bit like a layered UFO. They originally came out in 1958, so very contemporaneous for the house. I've always wanted one of these lamps but never had an appropriate place for them (and wasn't too keen on spending that much for lighting fixtures, but hey, they're way cheaper than the "artichoke" lamp...).
Entertainment:
I went to the one-hundredth anniversary of the Burning of Zozobra and it was... very New Mexico. Even for such a big thing (over 70k people attended), it had a home-town "we're doing our best" feel. I remember thinking the same thing while watching the live TV broadcast a few years ago. It was also a bit over-done. I got a ticket for the very front, but there aren't seats there or in most of the park for that matter, so I was standing for 4-5 hours. There was so much pre-entertainment that I think by the end most of us were just thinking, "let's light this thing and get out of here already." There were one hundred gloom ghouls dancing around Zozobra, plus the fire spirit dancer fighting back the gloom. There was also fire, fireworks, angry villagers, and a drone show. I had never seen a drone show before, and it was pretty awesome from a technological standpoint, but just didn't fit in with the sort of pagan feel of the overall event. It was probably better back when it started in the guy's back yard. I'd go again, but would get tickets in the back elevated seating section because there are seats, and I'd be able to take in more of the overall spectacle.
My next trip is a motorcycle ride to Tombstone AZ in mid-October for Helldorado Days, which have happened since Tombstone's 50th anniversary in 1929. I reserved a balcony room in an old building on the main street so I should have a great view of the fun. (And a shared bathroom for extra old-west authenticity!) :)
The MLC XW:
I have no clue. I did go into my Facebook messages to look up a friend and noticed an old message thread with her in the list and saw her avatar picture. She used to dye her hair a dark red which was really pretty, but from her FB picture it looks like she's switched to a primary clown red, Sheesh.
For anyone who was able to read this far, a present for you. (Hi, Nas!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIFwI0jg6B8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIFwI0jg6B8)
Take care of yourselves,
JB
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What a nice update, JB!
and in honour of your ‘new’ house, and your cool motorcycle self, a gem from 1958 https://youtu.be/gj0Rz-uP4Mk?si=iUidiiXHdKDKRXoa as it was apparently the best selling single when your house was built!
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The house sounds great and seems to have a lot of potential. I am a bit envious that you were able to buy a new place. I got denied for a new mortgage because I was "too old" to pay off the mortgage before I would retire....
The job sounds vaguely familiar - there is always some PHB somewhere in the loop to mess things up (PHB is a Dilbert reference for those that don't know for "Pointy Haired Boss"- the boss that doesn't understand the technical details and therefore promises everyone in upper management and the customer things which are basically impossible and then flogs the engineering staff because they can't meet the fake timelines that the PHB has created).
UM
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Do tell more about those solar screens you built- please. I was reading about bungalows this week and had not realized that it was Frank Lloyd Wright who had turned architecture on its head by using open space design instead of separate rooms and lots of hallways. The abundance of natural light in your new home sounds delightful.
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Wow, what an update!!! I’m very jealous of your move as I have been wanting to make that move and I just cant figure out where I want to be or find the right place. Your new home sounds spectacularly unique and thats amazing! Congrats on the new position also. Just a total new reset in a way. Glad to hear things are going well
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The house sounds great and seems to have a lot of potential. I am a bit envious that you were able to buy a new place. I got denied for a new mortgage because I was "too old" to pay off the mortgage before I would retire....
Boy, talk about cultural differences... My previous house was the first house I ever bought, and the mortgage agent said something like, "The interest rate doesn't really matter, you're just going to sell it in ten years and get something else." Huh?
What a nice update, JB! and in honour of your ‘new’ house, and your cool motorcycle self, a gem from 1958 https://youtu.be/gj0Rz-uP4Mk?si=iUidiiXHdKDKRXoa as it was apparently the best selling single when your house was built!
Thanks, Treasur! For some reason I always think of the Blues Brothers for that song, and forget how long ago Elvis did it.
Speaking of which, I heard an odd tidbit a couple of weeks ago: The release of Nirvana's Nevermind album is now temporally closer to Fidel Castro taking over Cuba than to today. :o
Wow, what an update!!! I’m very jealous of your move as I have been wanting to make that move and I just cant figure out where I want to be or find the right place. Your new home sounds spectacularly unique and thats amazing! Congrats on the new position also. Just a total new reset in a way. Glad to hear things are going well
Thank you, MadLuv! I'm in one quadrant of four adjacent neighborhoods this builder developed. He did have basic styles that people could customize, and while most of the homes are more standard ranches, there are a few more like mine. But, one has a sort of fence gate where my front door is, and it goes into a covered but open garden where my atrium is. Another one has a long path to the front door, but extra interior space where my atrium is. I still haven't had a chance to just walk around and see things, but try to take different streets on my way to/from work.
Hopefully a new area will just come to you. I wanted to move closer to our main street/Rte 66 so I could walk to some of my favorite bars and restaurants. Houses in that neighborhood were starting to get very expensive, and rarely have two-car garages. I sort of stumbled into this one, and the house design made the neighborhood worth moving into.
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Do tell more about those solar screens you built- please. I was reading about bungalows this week and had not realized that it was Frank Lloyd Wright who had turned architecture on its head by using open space design instead of separate rooms and lots of hallways. The abundance of natural light in your new home sounds delightful.
Hi, forthetrees
I didn't realize FLW started that. I like this house because while the living areas are visually connected, there are still delineations so I don't feel like I'm living in a warehouse.
The natural light is awesome, but the sun is too direct in the summer mornings. It was hot in the main areas by 8:30 in the morning, and I was also worried about UV fading everything. Some of the windows had blinds, but the doors had nothing on them so I started by tinting the door glass. (Plus I tinted the whole bar room, which faces the sun in the morning.) Even though it was the lightest tint film and designed to block mostly UV and IR, it still changes the color of the light. Plus, I didn't want to hinder the light in the winter when the sun will be off to the side, so I wanted something removable for the other windows.
Somehow I found solar screens on the internet, like this place: https://www.solarscreenfactory.com/ (https://www.solarscreenfactory.com/)
I found a place here that builds screens, but they never responded to my request for a material sample. I then found bulk rolls on the Home Depot website. The close up pictures make it look like an odd weave, but it's really just fiberglass window screen with an extra thick coating to block more light. I wound up purchasing a roll of Phifer Sun Tex 80 in grey because it matched the house better, and I didn't want to go to 90% blockage so I could still see clouds and thunderstorms.
https://www.phifer.com/product/suntex-80-90/ (https://www.phifer.com/product/suntex-80-90/)
I bought some DIY window screen frames and started cutting.
https://www.homedepot.com/p/Screen-Tight-5-16-in-x-48-in-White-Window-Screen-Accessory-Frame-Kit-WSKIT51648/100042901 (https://www.homedepot.com/p/Screen-Tight-5-16-in-x-48-in-White-Window-Screen-Accessory-Frame-Kit-WSKIT51648/100042901)
(They come in other colors, I managed to find plain aluminum before.) The square-ish windows were easy, but most of my windows have angled tops to match the roofline, so I had to cut the plastic corner brackets, set up the frame, and then epoxy the brackets back together. I also had to make some retaining clips for my upper bar windows since they used quarter-round moulding on those and the springs that come with the frames wouldn't have kept them in. Even without a bottom retaining channel like window screens usually have, mine have stayed on fine in the occasional heavy wind gusts we get here.
Overall, there's still pretty good visibility through the screens, and they don't change the color of the light. I can stand in the sun and not start to sweat. Plus, they're on the outside, so they do a better job of keeping the heat out vs. the tint, which still gets warm on the inside surface. Once the sunrise moves past the back corner of the house, I can take them off and have the full view again. Before I found these my plan was to get pieces of glass cut and then tint those and put them behind the main glass, but the screens will be much easier to deal with and store.
JB
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I grew up in New Mexico and was always fascinated with Zozobra but never attended. I am immensely happy to be reminded of this. It sounds like such a ridiculous time. This is a good reminder for me to add this to my calendar so I can at least watch a livestream. Your upcoming trip to Tombstone sounds pretty cinematic. I hope that is as exciting as it sounds like it will be.
And congrats on the new house! I am still living in a house I got with my ex and am starting to look forward to shedding it. I'm glad you got something that fits so well.
The job stuff is hilarious and so formulaic. I wish you good luck on your project. I imagine it will be immensely gratifying and fulfilling. Hopefully management will hold the form for its duration so you can get some real work done.
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For anyone who was able to read this far, a present for you. (Hi, Nas!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIFwI0jg6B8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIFwI0jg6B8)
;D ;D ;D
Just catching up. The house sounds very cool, congrats.
Just a very meaningless "fluff" note on the red hair, as a former dark auburn dyer, the "clown red" sounds like a damaged hair/lack of upkeep problem. She needs some blue shampoo to neutralize the brassiness ;).
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Hey JB :D
New house - oh wow..... so it happened, how very exciting!!! Very awesome.
You went to see Old Man Gloom? I haven't been since I was a kid...... it's quite the spectacle isn't it? I don't know how they can cram that many people in there..... or get out for that matter ;D
Your ride sounds great..... seems like a really long ride, that sounds great too.
-SS
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Hi JB,
Although hard to say goodbye to the memories, there is always value in having a fresh start. The new house sounds awesome. Hope you enjoy your life in the new home and glad to hear things are going well.
HF
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Congrats on the house JB. Sounds really neat and full of personality. I like the idea of an atrium.
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Just wanted to chime in as well to say congratulations on the house - it sounds amazing! I wasn't familiar with Mossman, I confess. Eichler is the name I associate with that style around here, though he wasn't the only one by any means. Mid-century modern has so much character, and the atrium is a significant part of the charm. It sounds like you are truly making it your own, and that is a wonderful thing.
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Thank you, everyone! (I've been meaning to get back to this...)
Just wanted to chime in as well to say congratulations on the house - it sounds amazing! I wasn't familiar with Mossman, I confess. Eichler is the name I associate with that style around here, though he wasn't the only one by any means. Mid-century modern has so much character, and the atrium is a significant part of the charm. It sounds like you are truly making it your own, and that is a wonderful thing.
Hi, Curiosity: Mossman mostly did "standard issue" brick ranches (they do look mid-century, but more standard ranch than modernist); he wasn't necessarily known for MCM (and I'd argue he's no Eichler ;D ). There are some amazing MCM homes in different parts of the city, but I don't know who or how many different architects worked in the city.
Book recommendation: "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein. I read a review of this in a weekly news magazine some time back. (I just looked in the book and the paperback came out in 2009, which is quite some time back.) The story line is very serious material, but interjected with a lot of light commentary by the writer/narrator, who is a dog. The story held me enough (and straightforwardly written) that I read it in two evenings on my trip to Tombstone. If you're into motorsports, it's probably even more interesting. It makes you wonder if dogs really do think this way. Funny side note, the character I'll call "evil teen girl" went to the same high school that my ex-wife went to.
JB
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Book recommendation: "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein. I read a review of this in a weekly news magazine some time back. (I just looked in the book and the paperback came out in 2009, which is quite some time back.) The story line is very serious material, but interjected with a lot of light commentary by the writer/narrator, who is a dog. The story held me enough (and straightforwardly written) that I read it in two evenings on my trip to Tombstone. If you're into motorsports, it's probably even more interesting. It makes you wonder if dogs really do think this way. Funny side note, the character I'll call "evil teen girl" went to the same high school that my ex-wife went to.
I forgot to mention that there may be some philosophical musings useful to the LBS in here as well. One from the racing aspect was that you can only control how YOU drive, not how the other drivers do.
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Hello, everybody!
As usual, it's been a while. I've been reading everyone's posts, but by the time I get to them I usually don't have too much to add. But, I'm thinking of all of you.
Given my last post was after visiting Tombstone, I suppose it's fitting that I just got back from a trip to Lincoln, NM and the surroundings. Maybe you haven't heard of the Lincoln County Wars, or Dolan and Tunstall, but you've probably heard of Billy the Kid. This is where it all (mostly) went down. Ex-wife and I went to Ft. Sumner early after moving here, site of Billy the Kid's grave and a decent museum, so I'm glad I finally made it to Lincoln. Most of the buildings are from 1850-1880; a couple that moved there in the 1960s(?) started the preservation efforts. There are still a few private residences in the town too. The Tunstall Store was bought by the state in 1957, and they kept everything on the shelves as they were at that time. Lincoln is a farm and ranch community so the items in the store looked more like early 1900s than what you'd expect for the late 1950s. I also visited Ft. Stanton, which started as an Army outpost in Mescalero Apache territory, but is probably better know as a tuberculosis hospital in the early 1900s. And the Smokey Bear museum in Capitan. Smokey Bear as a character was created in 1944, but the first live Smokey was a bear cub rescued from a forest fire in this area in 1950. His grave is on the museum grounds.
It was hotter than I had hoped for, so even though I was staying in a little resort town (Ruidoso), I wound up just eating dinner and then crashing at the hotel both nights. The town was full of Texans, too. (Texans hate New Mexico, but that doesn't stop them from coming here in the summer to cool off. I thought they mostly went up north, I wasn't expecting them down there.)
Work has been alright. Our program is gaining increased interest, but my role is not terribly exciting, so I don't get many responses to my emails. Everybody wants to design new stuff, and few people want to support testing. I'm also the chief challenge coin designer (if you're familiar with those), and the one I came up with for this program is a huge hit. Unfortunately, as the self-appointed morale officer, I don't think people take me seriously. But, we'll see how it goes.
Although I'm hoping to take more road trips (when it cools off again), I've been doing a lot of work around the house. Consequently, as soon as something heals I manage to injure something else. I mashed my finger under a log when taking a tree down, caught the tip of my thumb in a mini table saw, and most recently got bursitis in one of my elbows. I'm surprised it happened now considering I've been doing the same kind of work for the past year, but I guess that's a joy of getting older. Too much hoeing, I suppose. (Not the fun kind, just the moving dirt kind.) In addition to the half-dead Mimosa tree that I had to remove for my shed, I had two Siberian Elms in my yard. These grow really well in this area, but are non-native and considered noxious in NM. (Apparently they were brought in by a mayor in the 1950s for street medians.) I mashed my finger taking the big (30-40') one down at the back of the yard, which I replaced with an Austrian black pine. I trimmed back the smaller one closer to the house to make it easier to take down later, and planted about six fruit trees. I'll keep trimming the elm back each year until the fruit trees are more established, and then take down the elm for good.
My back yard collects a lot of water in heavy rains; I put drains in on both sides of the house, and carved one swale to divert water to a low spot in the back (which already turns into a mini pond in heavy rains), but also realized that I can carve shallow depressions into the dirt to hold water near the plants as well. We're supposed to get rain this week, so I'll be able to see how the first one is going and dig it out further, and then I'll put gravel on top.
I'm sure there's more but tomorrow is a work day... I hope you're all taking care of yourselves!
JB
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Time to hammer...
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Home improvement projects that I used to go non stop, now have to be done in bits here and there. So, I hear ya!!! Hey, I’m a texan!!! Glad to see your enjoying some travels
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Hey, I’m a texan!!! Glad to see your enjoying some travels
:) I probably get along better with most Texans than most New Mexicans...
Well, well, well... Had my weekly call with my stepmom and sister this morning, and my stepmom commented that she hadn't seen my ex-wife post anything on Facebook in a long time. (I didn't think they were still connected as friends, so I don't think she would see anything normally.) This afternoon I get a screenshot from my stepmom, showing posts from my ex that she's moved back to her hometown (where we met and got married) and got her business license to resume working there.
I didn't really need to see that, but... (My stepmom probably forgot the "don't keep me posted" memo. :) ) Not a big surprise, but I guess she didn't make all of the friends or find the adventures she expected on the east coast. I wonder if her sister moved back as well, since her hometown has become a very expensive place to live. Her sister could have finally retired, but I imagine she would have gotten tired of moving all over the place at my ex-wife's behest.
This is sooner than I expected; based on our ten years, ex-wife seemed to get bored of things at the five year mark. She was reeeeeeally eager to leave the northwest when we moved here; in particular she was tired of her old friends not reaching out/setting up events/wanting to hear her roller derby stories any more. I guess she can get another year of exciting catching up with them, and then go back to being ignored. ;) Oddly, a week or two ago I received a password reset code email for my FB account. I think that's her trying to see what I'm up to, based on previous similar events. She never did untag me from our photos together.
I'm not sure why this feels unsettling, although I know a lot of you out there get a little off-kilter from later contacts, etc. I still miss her, but I don't think I could ever trust her again, and who knows what she's been up to in the meantime. There were red flags when we were dating that I let slide, but hindsight is 20:20.
Back to busy projects at work and around the house. Hopefully I can find a break long enough to take a little vacation; I've got an in-state motorcycle trip planned out, and got myself a SPOT Tracker so I feel better about venturing off into remote areas by myself. I'm not sure when I'm going to have time to go camping, either; it's been too hot this summer.
I hope you're all doing well!
JB
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p.s. just to clarify, I'm not wishing hard times for my ex... I'm glad she's moving back to a familiar place where she's comfortable, but I'm not sure it's going to be the miracle cure. The place has changed significantly in recent years (one of the reasons she was originally happy to leave), and we all change too. If she hasn't resolved any of her unhappiness, "wherever you go, there you are."
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p.s. just to clarify, I'm not wishing hard times for my ex... I'm glad she's moving back to a familiar place where she's comfortable, but I'm not sure it's going to be the miracle cure. The place has changed significantly in recent years (one of the reasons she was originally happy to leave), and we all change too. If she hasn't resolved any of her unhappiness, "wherever you go, there you are."
Yes if they don't do the deep work and are just looking for a miracle cure a change of location means nothing in the vast scheme of things. Clint Black and co-writer Hayden Nicholas definitely got it right.
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Sitting here with a power outage and not tired enough to go to bed (on the plus side I haven't seen a thunderstorm this awesome in a while), and realized the moderators deserve a shout out for keeping things running on the board. Reopening old threads, removing legal names, etc. Thank you all!
And Faith, you pulled the scab off of one of my great musical regrets: the year we moved here, Clint Black did a free show at the city July 4th celebration, and I didn't go see it! ::) (The other regret was not buying one of the last tickets to see Steve Martin play banjo in a show with Edie Brickell at Seattle Symphony Hall.)
Hugs to all who are struggling.
JB
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Only on here once and a while, but had to comment on the 5 year boredom. That seems to be another common thing amongst these MLCers. Boredom, need for change, outside validation and so on and so on. Kudos to you for wishing her the best. I don’t think I feel that way anymore, but my X seems to be an extreme case with his actions that I think a little karma would do him good. Hahah
Funny how your step mom watches a little. I’m sure if my mom was a live she would do the same.
Man, the Steve Martin would have been cool!!!!
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And Faith, you pulled the scab off of one of my great musical regrets: the year we moved here, Clint Black did a free show at the city July 4th celebration, and I didn't go see it! ::) (The other regret was not buying one of the last tickets to see Steve Martin play banjo in a show with Edie Brickell at Seattle Symphony Hall.)
oooh sorry to reopen a wound
That is a bummer that you missed out on a free Clint Black show!