Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Rebel Yell on August 29, 2011, 06:50:25 AM
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2nd part of the poll
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Only child.
x
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got it!
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Great thread Rebel...
I'm sure DGU will pop in here with some great articles on siblings :)
My H is the youngest, His eldest brother was killed in a car accident when my H was 8 years old...
The middle brother is bipolar and manic depressive (homeless man now) multiple personality disorder
as well.
(does it matter that I am the youngest too) hehe
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According to the book, it matters.
Kevin Leman says the best match is opposite ends of the spectrum.
Like me and Pumpkin :o
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I'm the youngest.
H is the middle....older brother (preferred by Narcissa - MIL), younger sister (preferred by FIL).
L
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I am the eldest of 5. H is the youngest of 3. I do think H's brother (middle child) has had a MLC and never really left replay.
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My H is the youngest of 9 in a very dysfunctional family with many issues
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Still Praying, are you older than your husband?
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According to the book, it matters.
Kevin Leman says the best match is opposite ends of the spectrum.
Like me and Pumpkin :o
Both my wife and I are eldest children of a family of 2 children.
Does that mean that the 28 years of blissful marriage didn't count?
Maybe I will have to read the book.
I'll put it on the list for after I get divorced. :) :) :)
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Rebel I am 10yrs older than my H why is it relevant ?
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That's my own theory. There is a higher number of wives older than husbands here on this
site than average by quite a bit. My thought is the the MLCer wanted to be mothered.
They then got to a point where they are rebelling against "motherhood" deep in their
messed up heads.
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My thought is the the MLCer wanted to be mothered.
They then got to a point where they are rebelling against "motherhood" deep in their
messed up heads.
This is absolutely true for MLC men, ( or maybe all men) we marry someone that takes the best traits of our mothers and gets rid of the worst traits. (or so we think) So when MLC hits and they become the OPPOSITE of what they have been that comes as a huge shock.
Women are the same although they are marrying looking for the best traits of their fathers and getting rid of the traits that they did not like.
Again during MLC they revert to their teenage years rebelling against their fathers(aka husbands)
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Pumpkin has told me several times that it feels like I'm her father if / when I disapprove of something.
So I guess I'm supposed to agree with everything she does! :o
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Rebel
My H is the youngest of two boys and I am the eldest of 3 with a mix of sexes. My H is older than me.
Very interesting thread. Looking forward to the outcome.
xx
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My H and I are both the youngest of 2 siblings. There is a decent gap between him and his older sibling, though. Not sure if that makes a difference.
I am older than my H but only by a few days so I am not sure that counts. :)
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My H is the youngest of 5 and I am the oldest of 2. He is 3 years older than I am. He abdicated leadership in our relationship almost from the beginning of our 18 year marriage. We definitely had some of that "pedestal" stuff going on.
Interesting thread.
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oops.. I should have picked oldest child.. I picked oldest boy since he is the oldest and a male... wow.. I must be going crazy!
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I am in the middle child of 4 and H only child of a family where he was adopted by his grandparents and brought up that his mother was his sister..... :-[ Only found out his sister was his Mother at aged 8! Are you following.... I have thought long and had recently about all the cr*p he's told me, which is like he's telling his Mother or counsellor...NOT his wife... details that I should never have been told..... interesting... i wanted H for many years to find out all about his real Father but he was never interested...instead he's spent years researching my family geneology and even now wants to take it with him!
Incredible... my family is mine....one thing he won't take with him to his OW's.
Foxxxx
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Foxy,
It's no wonder that your H has issues. Growing up believing your grandmother was your mother and your mother was your sister - is really, really messed up!
A few film stars had that type of upbringing - Bobby Darren and Jack Nicholson both come to mind. And, both had/have major issues - Darren with alcholism - and Jack with commitment issues.
Limitless
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H is youngest child, has an older sister. I'm a first born (and was an only child for 9 years) of several boys and girls. I'm also the eldest grandchild of both, maternal and paternal, grandparents.
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wow. interesting poll. hubby is the youngest of two boys. im the middle of three girls. hubby is three months older than me. have. be interesting to see the result :)
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Still Praying, are you older than your husband?
Yes, by 5 months.
H actuallysaid quite often he thought I was more affectionate with the kids and not enough with him. I agree we can get side tracked when we have babies to care for and need to remember to focus on our husbands too. However, they way he always harped on this, I did start to feel he wanteded to be my child and get what they got becuase it appears he missed that at home. I do feel he looks to me as if I'm his mother at the moment. Still thinks I'll bail him out of his troubles.
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Op there's 2 of these discussions going on I just posted on the other one with the same title. Could you maybe combine these 2 please? Thnak you.
I think that Alder's birth order is one good way of looking at personalities but I prescribe to more than just one for a more well-rounded view of personlaity at least when I look at my own personality. Freud has some good stuff even though I personally feel he's a bit odd. Carl Jung has some good stuff too.
MLCer and I both took the Myer's/Briggs personality test. My MLCer is my introverted self. I am ENFP and he is INFJ. Look at astrology and I'm the horse and he's the tiger, excellent fit. These are signs that we were meant to be together. I remember us talking about being able to move mountains together but I have found we must first learn to move our own mountains before we can help others to move theirs. I'm letting MLCer move his own while I move my own.
This is a great discussion topic, thanks RY.
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I think my father was jealous of us kids too. Crazy IMHO, if a father loves his kids the way he should there is
no way he could be jealous of his own kids.
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Op there's 2 of these discussions going on I just posted on the other one with the same title. Could you maybe combine these 2 please? Thnak you.
NO they are two similar topics but slightly different with two different polls.
Check them both we will leave them separate.
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Sorry OP thanks for pointing it out to me. H is youngest out of 2.
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He is the 5th of 6 kids
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My H is the middle child with a brother who is 11 years older than him and a sister who is 6 years younger. I have two older brothers, and am the youngest and only girl. My H and are just 8 months apart to the day in fact, with my H being older than I.
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I find this interesting that the mlcer is typically the younger/youngest in the family. Maybe by the time the parents get to the younger ones they don't get (possibly) as much attention???
On the other hand, I look at the other poll and find the LBS is typically the oldest and therefore the "fixer"??????
What do you think?
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My h. is actually third in four, but middle if you count his father (MLCer)'s love child. Interesting...
On the other hand, as I have already posted on the other thread, I am the oldest of six.
H. was supposed to be the youngest, but his sister came along and he was extremely jealous of her according to MIL.
He now bonds with this sister and his father's love child (who is 20 years younger than him).
Like Trusting, I am a few days older than my husband (nine days)! lol
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Check this out.... it states what the best combination of spouses are and presumably the ones to avoid. It's an article written by Kevin Lerman
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/how-your-birth-order-affects-your-romantic-compatibility/82285
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Thanks SiP.
That's the guy. Interesting book, what little I read.