Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: growing every day on September 11, 2011, 06:19:58 AM
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As I sit here watching the ceremony for the 9/11 anniversary, I want to send my thoughts and prayers to anyone who may have lost someone on that horrific day.
I remember where I was, at work, in total disbelief and the only thing I could think of was rushing to my sons schools to get them to hold. I could not, the schools were on lock down. Not knowing what else to do, I called my parents, and my H.... sobbing telling them I loved them.
The Lord's Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our debts and we forgive
our debtors,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil,
for thine is the kingdom and the power
and the glory, forever. Amen.
--- Matthew 6:9-13
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My thoughts have also been with all those people who lost their lives, lost their loved ones and lost their livelihoods on that awful day ten years ago. I live in UK but visited NYC twice last year, and many times in the past to see my family and friends. I remember going up to the top of the World Trade Centre in 1978, ground zero makes my spine shiver and my heart weep. Compared to what some have gone through in their lives, my problems are minimal. God bless you, victims of 9/11.
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Thank you GED for starting this thread.
I pray for all those who lost there lives and their families..that they shall find comfort and peace and hope in their lives.
I pray for peace in our world, the end of hatred and violence, forgiveness of our enemies.
I pray for each of us as we face our own personal "hell"..that through this we might become more compassionate, more empathetic and caring towrads others..that something good shall come from this.
This was read at one of the ceremonies today:
There is a season for everything, a time for every occupation under heaven:
A time for giving birth, a time for dying
AA time for planting, a time for uprooting what has been planted
A time for killing, a time for healing
A time for knocking down, a time for building
A time for tears, a time for laughter
A time for mourning, a time for dancing
A time for throwing stones away, a time for gathering them up
A time for embracing, a time to refrain from embracing
A time for searching, a time for losing
A time for keeping, a time for throwing away
A time for tearing, a time for sewing
A time for keeping silent, a time for speaking
A time for loving, a time for hating
A time for war, a time for peace
Ecclesiastes 3:1
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That Bible verse could be our mantra as well.
I will never forget where I was on this day 10 years ago. It was my second day with the agency and they sent us all home early after we went to a cottage and watched what was happening. I drove 100 miles an hour to my in-laws where my kids were and hugged them tightly. My W came over for lunch, but had to go back even though she worked at a government building. I remember my D18 asking, "Why are people so upset. It's just buildings." I will never forget the look on her face when we told her that there were thousands of people IN thosse buildings.
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I live in NY and last night there was a "Concert for New York" (first responders and victim's families) at Lincoln Center. I could hear the music and it sounded angelic. It was a beautiful night here last night and I thought of all the people who lost their lives and loved ones that day as I looked at the sunset. I felt very sad, but also felt God's peace.
9/11 was four days before my wedding. It will always be linked to my wedding anniversary, so it will be 10 years for me very soon. A ten-year anniversary I was so excited about, and now without my H. BD was in Dec. 2010. He chose this week to tell me he is filing for divorce.
He was miles away from me on 9/11 as I was in our wedding location planning things. He saw the second plane hit the tower. I couldn't even connect with him by phone for a couple of days after. It was so amazing and comforting to hear his voice on the phone when my sister's friend in Denver was able to conference us in. I felt like I could touch him through the wire. We debated postponing our wedding, because one of our friends was a firefighter, who survived, thank God, but was working at GZ. Many other guests could not fly in as planned because the airports were closed. But we decided to go ahead, because our families said that we all needed the affirmation of life and love that would be our wedding. As I feel a deep sense of loss for myself at my 10-yr anniversary, I remember that despite everything, my H is still alive, and so many other spouses are forever without those they loved on that day.
Blessings to all,
Birdhouse
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All the way over in Portugal, I was also affected by that day. My American friend lost her brother in law, and there were also Portuguese in the towers.
In a way, 9/11 was like BD for MLCers. It changed our lives forever, it seemed totally incomprehensible, horrendous beyond words, and set into motion a series of actions which have far wider consequences.
Yet, as awful as the terrorists actions were, and our MLCers, there was another point of view rooted in its own logic. It's always good to understand the other side.
And to forgive.
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My MIL was in mid air herself, off the coast of Nova Scotia when the planes hit the towers.
My MIL had never flown anywhere before. The pilot told the passengers that they had to make an emergency landing in Halifax, but he couldn't explain why. The passengers held hands and prayed. The airport was full in Halifax, and in Montreal and in Ottawa. They were one of the last planes to land in Toronto before it became too full.
My wife and her mom had a fraught relationship. We had so many emotions that day. A kind family from a suburb of Toronto looked after my MIL - it took a long time before we heard from her on 911. I made the long drive to collect her the next day. Roads were empty, the radio made sad, but compulsive listening.
My baby boy was five months old. It's all so very vivid still.
I grew up in Ireland and moved away in no small part to find a peaceful place to live, away from intolerance, and anger. By the age of 18 I'd reached my limit. I found a good place to live, but sacrificed a lot for it. 911 was an experience, and in some ways a catalyst of intolerance and anger on a much, much bigger scale.
Intolerance and anger - eh. Hard to avoid it seems - in life and it turned out in marriage :(
Today's gospel is all about forgiveness. http://www.ewtn.com/vbible/search.asp?abbr=Matt&ch=18&bv1=21&ev1=35 (http://www.ewtn.com/vbible/search.asp?abbr=Matt&ch=18&bv1=21&ev1=35)
My thoughts and prayers are for all the families affected by 911 in the US, and prayers for the soldiers that lost their lives in Afghanistan, and for their families too.
Peace.
bnw