Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses

Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: LettingGo on February 15, 2011, 10:22:13 AM

Title: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from-2
Post by: LettingGo on February 15, 2011, 10:22:13 AM: Here's are some I heard again today:

You NEVER cared about me... EVER!! You only cared about yourself!

OK, I'm a liar... so what? What else?

See, this is what I don't like about you.... you NEVER try!!

I've TRIED!! I came HOME didn't I? (just because I'm still carrying on with OW, what's your problem?)

Just because I was with OW doesn't mean I stopped caring about you... I always loved you! (while boinking her, gee that makes me feel better!)

Not being excited about the (cheap) flowers and chocolate (from the corner drugstore) I got you (while still carrying on with OW) ISN'T HELPING!!

You are SO ungrateful! You're a b*tch!

You NEVER cared about me.... waaaaaaaaaaaah poor me.
Title: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from-2
Post by: limitless on February 15, 2011, 10:48:49 AM: This thread is a continuation from
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=203.0;all (http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=203.0;all)

LG,
Wow!
Those are tough to hear!!!!

Some more for me -
I always took the path of least resistance. I did what everybody else wanted - not what I wanted.
I never wanted to marry you.
It was always about what you wanted.
It was always about your career and your life.
No one appreciated me.

L
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: MelanieB on February 15, 2011, 11:48:55 AM: LG,

Our spouses must be clones!!!!

Yes, I have received the same, verbatim same lines all about how ungrateful I am for his very feeble efforts at relationship. I got the "b*tch" comment, the "never wanted to marry you". Somewhere inside, I could hear the pity party music he must have been listening to and I wanted to scream, "And you call yourself a man?" He whined more than a spoiled 4 yr old.

Sadly for my xH, he is now starting the same weird behavior with our daughter. He gave our 26 yr old daughter a pen for her birthday (and yes, that was all she got, a simple pen from Staples) but her brother got a new cell phone and Verizon plan for his birthday. Looks like xH is now going to punish her with his passive aggressive tactics and heaven forbid she should actually say something to him about his gift giving, she will be told what an ungrateful b*tch she is also (no doubt, just like her mother)! I feel it is likely she is being treated as the surrogate for me, since we are "No Contact" since the divorce, but it is so damaging to her self esteem.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Shantilly Lace on February 16, 2011, 06:40:46 PM: Oh Metal I heard the

You'll like OW she's just like you.

Yeah
She drinks
she smokes
Parties hard
sleeps with involved men

and the list continued
just like me. :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Buggy31 on February 16, 2011, 07:46:12 PM: I've gotten
"Your crazy"
"Your insane"
throughout ..mostly when I'm not letting him have his way.
The other day he pulled a stunt and I was cool as a cucumber throughout...really calm.
He couldn't get me going so he says.
"Oh my god your INSANE...Your crazy....Something is not right up there! :o :o :o :o :o"

Well I laughed my a** off right in front of him...I had to walk away LAUGHING..walked through the hallway of my house until I could regain composure. When I was finished there he was standing in the doorway right where I had left him ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LettingGo on February 16, 2011, 07:55:20 PM: Bugs, I LOVE when I hear how crazy I am.... ;D ;D ;D ;D there's the pot calling the kettle black!

The other day I got "even though I was living with her, I ALWAYS loved you!"

But right now my favorite is "This isn't working..." or a variation "This will never work!" or perhaps "I don't know if we can make this work". I want to call in Tim Gunn from Project Runway to look my husband in the eye and say his famous line "MAKE IT WORK!"
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: In this for ME on February 17, 2011, 03:50:04 AM: The "make" it work statement reminds me of a passage I read in I think it was the 7 levels of Intimacy:

A man stood waiting in an airport to pick up some relitives.

A woman with a baby girl in her arms and two chldren by her side were standing there also.

A man walked up to them and they were all smiling. The man embrced the son and told him how much he had grown. Then the daughter came forward and he held her and told her how much he had missed her. The baby girl was squirming in her mothers arms and reaching out for her father.

He took her in his arms and she stopped squirming and laid her head contently on his shoulder. He then handed the baby to the daughter and said "I've saved the best for last" He then embraced his wife and when they parted they looked at each other and said how much they loved each other.

The guy that was standing there couldn't resist asking how long he had been away from his family the man replied :

"Two whole days" ..never taking his eyes off his wife as he said it.

The man then commented "Gee I hope I have that kind of relationship someday"

The man turned to him with a very serious look on his face and stated:

"Do more than hope man- DECIDE!"
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Metal on February 17, 2011, 04:53:08 AM: Too funny Shantilly,
Yeah, all true here too.

He smokes
Hes a drunk
Hes living on the street
Hes addicted to pain killers
He likes married women
He really values family ?!?!
He steals (my stuff? Yes laptop, $$, camera)

Yeah, just like me. :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: In this for ME on February 17, 2011, 05:02:20 AM: Wow you guys-
The only thing I got regarding that was

"Ex OW had a childhood a lot like yours":
Let's see....

She has 6 brothers and sisters ( I'm an only child)
She was teased by them and people at school because she looks so goofy ( Not a problem for me)
She was prostituting at the age of 14 until 22 in NYC ( sorry I must have missed that part of my character developemnt)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: xyzcf on April 15, 2011, 06:29:09 AM: Bumping this up for Lisa...some of the crazy things our spouses have said to us.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Shantilly Lace on April 15, 2011, 01:06:36 PM: Oh oh I have one

But why can't I have both of you?
We could all live together and share ::)

Pft
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LifeGoesOn on April 15, 2011, 01:16:57 PM: Quote from: ShantillyLace on April 15, 2011, 01:06:36 PM
Oh oh I have one

But why can't I have both of you?
We could all live together and share ::)

Pft

Ha! I got a version of that with the added..."there will just be a little kissing and hand-holding. She will be a good influence on the kids." :o :o :o :o

But the "she likes to cook and clean" really got me considering the proposition!!!!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: xyzcf on April 15, 2011, 01:37:47 PM: LGO..you are kidding right???? ;D I am going to have to go back and re read some of this for some comic relief!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LifeGoesOn on April 15, 2011, 02:08:43 PM: nope....no joke... he was serious :P
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Shantilly Lace on April 15, 2011, 02:48:10 PM: Ah yes the cleaning. Must admit she is tidier than me LOL. But then again i have FIVE children and where were her 2 going to stay?

I'm sure she would be thrilled. NOT

I have to admit though i think he realises we are never going to be friends. Finally. I told him from the beginning it wouldn't be that way. He said she's really willing to be friends. Yeah just like she's really willing to have you home here. She said it to make you think wow what a catch.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LifeGoesOn on April 15, 2011, 03:43:08 PM: Quote
He said she's really willing to be friends. Yeah just like she's really willing to have you home here. She said it to make you think wow what a catch.

Yeah...they really don't see this crap! IDK how tidy OW is. I have 10,000 sq ft under roof that I maintain.....they were living in a ho-tel room with maid service. I could use the help but... ::) Based on her grooming habits, I contend she is a pig. :o "Shallow Hal Syndrome" at work I guess. (I wonder if there is a tail ;D)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Foxberry on April 16, 2011, 10:40:18 AM: Hi everyone,

Just been reading this thread, unbelievable.....

My H's "sayings":

we've nothing in common
we've turned into a boring, married couple
it's all my fault
You don't deserve this
I may be finding it hard to say I love you, but I do desperately care about you
I would always be looking over my shoulder and wondering what this other relationship would be like
I want to be your friend
We cannot change the future and what will be, will be
If we'd communicated, this would never have happened

All the above from a man who has not spoken to me AT ALL in any way since 16 December 2010!!!!!! Not exactly the sort of friend I want or need??????

Fox xxxx
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: limitless on April 16, 2011, 11:08:50 AM: Fox,
My H wanted to be friends, too.
Funny, I would never treat a friend like this!
Most friends wouldn't.

L
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on April 16, 2011, 11:34:06 AM: LOL Last weekend when H dropped off the girls we were talking about how he said "I pushed him away and he was crying on the couh for 10 years" I told him not to "rewrite history" He accused me of re-writing history by saying we were happy. Finally I looked deep into his eyes and whispered " (His name) , it's me..........."
Well that did it. His head started turning back and forth really fast and tears started squirting out of his eyes.
Later he was all boomerang. Parked the car kept coming around to say something else about nothing really..
Maybe I can be the MLCer Whisperer?
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LisaLives on April 16, 2011, 11:39:04 AM: Maybe whispering is the answer, shouting hasn't worked--crying didn't help. I might try that.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: In this for ME on April 16, 2011, 12:38:01 PM: Maybe I can be the MLCer Whisperer?

PRICELESS!! ROTFLMAO!!!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: With Gods Help! on April 16, 2011, 02:55:59 PM: We all need to write a book we would be millionaires lol..................My h said that people only judged him because he left me, but they don’t know the real reason why........He said they dont know what goes on behind closed door, he said if they knew they would understand..........sometimes especially at the beginning of BD this makes you question yourself and think was i really that bad..........When i told close friends and family what he said they laughed and said is he joking you have always been a ROCK to him and he knows it and so do we..........i remember at the beginning of finding about o/w i had a dig at her and ended up throwing something at him cos she could do no wrong...........I shouted and said you go on like the owr is perfect, he said she is to me :o :o :o :o :o i said ohhhhhhhhh so perfect people sleep with married men and destroy familys do they, he didnt answer, i cant wait till the day i can call him on all this, it would be interesting to see how he sees her then lol xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on April 16, 2011, 02:59:40 PM: Oh I almost forgot this one " We (he and the OW) got hit by a Tsunami. We weren't looking for this to happen....."
I wonder if they realize that a Tsunami is a disaster and when it recedes there is a lot of damage strewn all over the place.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: GottaBeMe on April 16, 2011, 03:22:16 PM: I have heard most of these over the years but my two favorites are:

Just before the divorce, he told me that he will always love me but has to get a divorce. "If we ever get together, then I'll remarry you" and...

A week or so after the divorce I received a text asking " REALLY??, you need things to be this way?"... ???

Huh?
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: In this for ME on April 16, 2011, 03:28:33 PM: Mine hapened to say acouple of weeks ago.."After you divorced me..." I stopped him right there and said "I DIDN"T divorce you..you divorced ME." He said thoughtfully "Oh..Yeah.." :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mermaid on April 16, 2011, 03:51:34 PM: The one that really killed me was about a year ago, when H put his arms round me, kissed me, and said:

"I'll always love you, even if I get married to someone else"

He was genuinely surprised when I pushed him away with a cry. :o :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: In this for ME on April 16, 2011, 04:08:15 PM: What is this "Love" they are talking about anyway?? :o :o

Ask him the next time if he'd love you if YOU married somebody else.. friggin' idiot.

Mine baited me a while ago with "I will always love you" ::)

WTF are you talking about?? If this is your idea of love baby I don't want anymore of it. You've damn near killed me and your girls. PLEASE DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE I CAN'T TAKE IT! ::) ::) :o :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mermaid on April 16, 2011, 04:32:40 PM: I asked H that more than once. He said it was a difficult question.

It's about caring, apparently, even if there are no outward signs. Sort of mental love.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: GottaBeMe on April 16, 2011, 04:46:15 PM: LOL...they can really be quite ridiculous.

I love it when I can put together the various contradictions...I've heard:

I don't think I love you.....I don't think I ever loved you.....I have and will always love you
We probably should have never gotten married.......I should have never gotten a divorce
You over-analyze everything......One of the things that I love about you is that you give things so much thought
You're not a nice person..........You're the kindest person that I know
I'm really at peace now, I'm happier.........What makes you think I'm happy now? (ummm, cuz you told me) :)
I just want to be left alone.........how come I always have to be the one to contact you?
I never want to hurt you......sometimes I do things on purpose to hurt you

This is why it's called the crazy train....
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: In this for ME on April 16, 2011, 04:57:44 PM: Crazy traain is right!!!!

These buggers are SOOOOOO conflicted they don't know what to think or say.

Eventually the stuff starts to sift and shift and the picture becomes clearer.

They have had a set of goggles on that keep everything out of focus.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mermaid on April 16, 2011, 05:06:52 PM: Sometimes thay forget what they've said.

When I remind my H, he says "well, I didn't really mean that. I was trying to find out what I did mean". Oh yeah.

The interesting thing is that it does start to get more consistent after a while. They seem to believe one explanation for a while. Then another, completely different thing.

My Hs latest is that I did too much for him, and that made him feel too dependent. He says it's not my fault, he knows I did it because I loved him. Uh, yeah, and because he wasn't there, or he was exhausted / stressed out when he came home. I actually wanted him to do stuff too, but he refused! D'oh (http://www.cool-smileys.com/images/136.gif) (http://www.cool-smileys.com/smiley-that-says-doh-homer-simpson-style)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: GottaBeMe on April 16, 2011, 06:02:26 PM: Mine forgot what he said a LOT, and when reminded would do the same thing....backpedal! Almost every sentence started with "oh well..." too.

I know exactly what you mean about doing things too. One time before we were separated, I had been asking him to fix a coffee table for about 3 weeks. After 3 weeks of him ignoring it and me, I decided to fix it myself. AFTER I was done, he says "I always knew you wanted to be the man of the house", and he was nasty about it, not joking around. Apparently me fixing it made him feel inadequate but he'd had 3 weeks to rise to the occasion. I would have been more than happy to have let him "be the man", I had enough to do!

You just can't win with them.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: In this for ME on April 16, 2011, 06:54:24 PM: Well it ended up that I did SO much around the house I told him one day VERY sarcastcally
"Don't worry honey..you'll make a man out of me yet!" >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: GottaBeMe on April 16, 2011, 07:03:33 PM: ITFTLH,

LOL, sounds like something I would say!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on April 17, 2011, 05:38:59 AM: Last night on the phone H said " I wat you to be careful with our D ages 9 and 11 on the computer. Youve got three girls with you included and no man in the house" He repeated that 3 times with no answer from me until I said"Thanks for reminding me that there's no man here." Maybe I should write 'new man' on the grocery list.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: In this for ME on April 17, 2011, 05:50:22 AM: Thinking out loud- idiot

Tell him you got one stashed around there somewhere..just can't seem to find him at the moment; maybe up a tree in the backyard talking to the squirrels ::)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on April 17, 2011, 06:32:37 AM: Our D11 drew a picture of a "Monster in the House" and a "Witch in the house" I was just staring at it and decided to tape more paper onto it and I wrote a letter to H. It is a list of "Have you considered...?"
My Hs big complaint is I pushed him away sexually to put everything else first and I don't like him. Then he ran into the night to OW house. (I know he loves me.He's jacked up in the head) Low self esteem/insecure
I was done writing to him after leaving 2 love letters after BD 2-14-11...We usually talk about the kids or the weather. Sad.
The list has things like "Have you considered that I do like you? You are my favorite human. That I was buried under the rubble of being a Mom/Wife/Pharmacy Supervisor at a busy hospital/taking care of his mother who lived with us?
Have you considered that making you happy was my prime concern.
I was putting food/shelter/homework/elder care/ chores and lifes basics first.
That I am human and made a mistake?
That I haven't looked at another man in 15 year?
That I love you unconditionally? (if you even know what that means)
That I still get butterflies in my stomach when you call or come over?
That you told me " You wouldn't touch me so you can never touch me again?"
That the above statement is medieval. Like cutting off someone's hands b/c they stole a loaf of bread?
That the love we have doesn't grow on trees?
That someday I'll get over you and just send you a Christmas card?
I ended with "Please don't send me anymore We can be 'friends' letters. My friends were holding me on the bathroom floor for the last 2 months while I cried. "
I can't wait to see clingy's reaction to that. Everything I mention is a positive about how I feel about him.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LettingGo on May 10, 2011, 08:18:56 PM: Listen up, everyone.... this is required reading from page one to page finish.... bumping up as a reminder that as sad as MLC is for all of us, especially our MLCers and children, these words are still funny as hell! 8)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on May 11, 2011, 03:54:27 AM: LG< Yes indeed. I got to hear the other day about hooking up w/ OW " I thought she was married." (Hs secret friend who worked at the convenience store) "I went to bring some stuff over her house like amps and guitars so I could move out. Cause you kept pushing me away. That's when I found out she wasn't married"
OK so following this logic then what ? You took your clothes off b/c you forgot YOU were married? Never came home and left me and the girls crying by a window? OW was a complete stranger pretty much.
How do you MOVE IN with a complete stranger? It's like an episode of Monk where he has amnesia and ends up in a small town. Some woman grabs him and tells him he's her long lost husband. Monk is so out of sorts the whole show. TRAPPED> LOL LOL
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: arp1 on May 11, 2011, 04:33:13 AM: Lots of the above resonate, but specifically I've had:

ILYBINILWY
It's me, not you
I'm the problem in the relationship
I want to have fun
It's my time
It's time to party
You don't understand/You won't understand
OM is not the cause
I don't want to bring OM into this
I've been unhappy for years
You can't meet my emotional needs
I told you I was high maintenance
etc, etc
::)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: GottaBeMe on May 11, 2011, 06:10:49 AM: I concur LG, they are funny as hell and so are the schmoopies!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on June 05, 2011, 03:21:44 PM: OK.. So what about things they say that indicate they might be jealous of whatever it is we are doing? Example: This is funny. My H says "I can pick up the Ds from school since you have that big meeting with the CEO " I say"OK Thanks" Later he asks me if he "Proposed to me" :o :o I say "Why would he do that?" He says "Because you look so beautiful"
I also love when they see something new around the house (flat screen TV) and comment "Oh, good for you guys OVER HERE" (you guys is HIS FAMILY and OVER HERE IS HIS HOUSE) ::) ::) ::)
Still I love the "We're moving to a new apt "(H and OW) it's downstairs and bigger from old apt. Ds tell me after 5 days of moving nothing is done and he was laying on the couch watching a video w/ them at her apt looking sad and thinking a lot. (In the old apt where hardly anything is moving) Sounds like all that MLC FUN I read about on the Validation Thread. 8) 8)
He is soooo HAPPY he is face planted on a couch w/ his Ds over there insteadd of over here. That sounds like FUN and JOY. 8) 8) (while wondering if my CEO is proposing to me) ::)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Faith on June 05, 2011, 10:06:32 PM: My H moved out tonight. While he was enjoying "his" weekend with the girls (well...one of the girls, the other refuses to spend any time with him), he kept harassing me with insane texts. One was all about how he hopes we can "move forward with grace and dignity" (two words he's never used in his life) and that he "still loves me". My reply - "you don't divorce someone you love".

We have this new visitation schedule thing worked out and documented by our lawyers. It just started this weekend. Another of his texts was this gem. "Why do you want to keep the girls from me? I'm not a molestor or an abuser! I just love my kids!" My reply - "I'm not. I'm honoring our visitation agreement".

Sometimes I try to imagine what it would be like to have his brain, and I just can't. Anyone I tell about the divorce is shocked because H seems so happy and normal, but they have to really be tortured having such a disfunctional mind don't they? Or maybe they're so disconnected that they really are able to be happy while causing pain and destruction all around them. Who knows.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on June 06, 2011, 04:22:35 AM: Faith..They are miserable! They are not having a good time at all.
I am not good at copying or moving anything but read what Heartsblessing wrote under the thread Validation that the MLCer is Having Fun (it's startd by Tsunami I think)
Ever since I read that and printed it out to put in my wallet) I feel so much better. It's GREAT. :)
They are depressed. They can't be HAPPY.

Now whenever my H is around for Touch n' Go or on the phone I think about what HB said. I can see the MASKS she is referring to. He wears a different one for different people(OW,Ds,LBS,)

Makes me feel better. It's also funny. H is soooo HAPPY now he's biting his nails(never did that before) and eating Rolaids out of his pocket.(large bottle) For all the happiness :o 8)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: GottaBeMe on June 06, 2011, 04:47:39 AM: Faith,

Those strange texts are really something else, aren't they? I really wanted to get a ringtone for him with the Twilight Zone theme because it's what I thought of every time that I got those texts. They were so random. I had to reply sometimes with "was that text meant for ME?"

It became quite the challenge, like decoding!

Watch out for when those masks start slipping, it's when the real fun begins....NOT!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: whatever on June 06, 2011, 07:48:14 AM: Mine even forgets gifts that he's purchased me while in MLC. Our anniversary was 20 days post bomb drop
and h gave me a very pretty pair of earrings and I was wearing them for our son's graduation last weekend
and he said, nice earrings, where did you get those? :o Seriously? I said you gave them to me....
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on June 06, 2011, 09:02:22 AM: Whatever.. Should've said a squirrel gave them to me ::) 8) :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LettingGo on June 27, 2011, 07:48:56 AM: Bumping up for the Newbies again..... should be required reading... especially if you doubt it's MLC, LOL!!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: good4me on June 27, 2011, 07:56:26 AM: Buggy

This script is so true. Contacted H about money for the cable bill-his friend has a box on my account. Told him how much was owed. His response-"we always collect $ amount" Who is the "we"? We haven't been a "we" since he moved out as far as I know . Blow my mind-completely clueless :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on June 27, 2011, 08:15:09 AM: I like the quote from H at BD in Feb 11 "I never cheated on you when we were together. We haven't been together since Sunday." :o :o :o :o
And just last week H said "I never cheated on you!"
I said "You are having an affair!"
He smiles blinks his eyes and says "Oh yeah, Right. "
Priceless 8)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LettingGo on June 27, 2011, 08:17:31 AM: Yes, Mamma.... I've gotten that one also..... "It's not cheating if we're separated!" Ummmm..... would it be cheating if I did it to you and we are separated? Yep... thought so. It's like that movie "Hall Pass"... they think if they move out, it's a "hall pass" to do whatever they want with no repercussions.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on June 27, 2011, 08:30:36 AM: Another Gem Me: I just can't believe that YOU did this to us. You of all people. You were so kind. It doesn't make sense. That's all I'm sayin'
H: I know. I would've thought YOU would've done this to ME. :o :o :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Foxberry on June 27, 2011, 08:30:53 AM: My H said to me back in October 2010, that he was still wearing his wedding ring!! as though I should be
grateful that even though he was having an affair that he was wearing his wedding ring...
I said "Oh does that make it ok then when you are with her then if you're wearing your wedding ring?" no response ::)

Then again at Easter I said, "I see you're wearing your wedding ring"...H's response to me, "I don't wear it all the time"..
That was nice wasn't it......it really hurt...... wedding ring? does it matter? no, its the intentions and actions that matter not
whether he wears his ring or not.... Maybe H thinks he's Mr Frodo from Lord of the Rings! and if he keeps it in his
possession it will ward off evil :-\ Hasn't worked so far, he's still with the wicked witch of the east....

Foxy xxx
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on June 27, 2011, 08:38:06 AM: Foxy, Wicked Witch of the East had a House fall on her :o :o :o Karma Bus?
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Foxberry on June 27, 2011, 08:47:58 AM: If ONLY a house would fall on her! ;D Just thought of another one I didn't understand he used to say all the
time inbetween his sobbing and crying phases..... apparently my Son and I "belittled" him showing emotion? I have
belittled him for years...... :-[ My H has been emotionally retarded for years! so no belittling of emotions as he never
showed any..... The only things that my S and I showed to H at Easter was concern for a man who looked broken in
every way.......

Fox xxx
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: StandandDeliver on June 27, 2011, 09:19:44 AM: Quote
that he was still wearing his wedding ring!!

Fox mine said that as well, "I never took my wedding ring off" - as if the fact they were upfront about him being married made it better. Truly they are bonkers.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Foxberry on June 27, 2011, 09:41:56 AM: Amen to that ;D

Foxy xx
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: faithful with Love on June 27, 2011, 11:01:12 AM: The ring thing gets me (however we dont wear ours anymore) but he use to say... I dont take off my ring when I leave the house.... Really then why is it not on your finger and in your pocket??? :o oh yeah it must of slipped off.
Now I get we arent married... Hey could you please tell my wife that.... All within minutes.....
Ummmm oh im your wife when needed... lol.....
or
Cant you see im broken my soul is gone... you dont see it but it is there....as he is texting ow.... Up real broken arent ya, feel real bad about it all.....Dahhhhh.

I have hundreds and they all fit the manual.....
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LettingGo on June 27, 2011, 11:16:17 AM: Quote
apparently my Son and I "belittled" him showing emotion? I have
belittled him for years......

Fox..... I suspect this is an issue from childhood that he's projecting and trying to work through... a little boy not allowed to show emotion.... food for thought... it's typical.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: forthetrees on June 27, 2011, 11:35:43 AM: H: Sometimes, things just end.

concluding sentence in an email. Talk about being left with a case of the "Why´s" on my part!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: faithful with Love on June 27, 2011, 11:52:06 AM: Here are somemore:
Its best for the both of us if we divorce but we can stay together.
I married you to make you happy
she is just a friend
I know she is a ow but she needs my help
I have helped her alot with her issuses
all you do is b*tch at me that is why i am never here...(and i didnt b*tch he was on his way out and feels guilty)
I'm unhappy
How do I look..would the woman like me?
I never meant to hurt you not the intention at all...(however he knew and knows it hurts me)
It will end one day (2 yrs later)
I am not seeing her anymore.... yeah I was with her.. I think
Im not sleeping with her anymore just a friend... if you look in my phone you will be hurt....
We were never happy
I dont love you anymore
I do love you
My mind is spinning all the time
All the stress, i just want it all to end...(but keeps texting his ho)
She sees other ppl she is moving on with her life... (right)
In the future we will...
We have no furture
Im screwed up I could just cry
I dont know why I do what I do
you the bi**h
you so stupid
Im always gonna go out
I want my freedom
I been with you all these it about me
the kids will be fine
the kids know because of you (nevermind ow came to the house)
She is a really good person
She would be great to our kids
She never talks bad about you or our kids
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Foxberry on June 27, 2011, 01:16:42 PM: LG,

How right you are....my H has many issues from childhood that have been left undealt with......and I feel now have all come to the fore.... thank you for your insight.... :) I have suspected this for years.....he always refused to talk about them or do anything about them, denying there was anything wrong any way...

Foxy xxx
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Foxberry on June 27, 2011, 02:18:29 PM: More phrases that may resonate:

I chose happiness over loyalty
When I said you know I love you - his reply "I know you do"
I want to be your friend
I've always loved you but not enough to try again
Who knows where I'll be in 4 week, 4 months, 4 years
I feel suicidal I have 2 crises going on in my head
She makes me happy
I enjoy her company
I can talk to anyone but you
You belittle me
You're argumentative and I've had 6 months of peace with OW
You talk in riddles
Why don't you say what you mean
You can ask me anything you want, but you may not like the answers

Unbelievable!!!
Fox xxx
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LettingGo on June 27, 2011, 06:05:02 PM: Quote
I know she is a ow but she needs my help

This one takes the cake. :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: phoenixwoman1 on June 28, 2011, 01:23:47 AM: My XH said some variations of the same:

I love you, but not the way a man should love a wife
I still love you (a couple of random times over the past year)
I'm gun shy [about reconciliation}, I don't want things to be the way they were
OW is the nicest person I've ever met
The kids will be fine..they just want both parents to be happy
You pushed me away
OW has her problems, but I guess everyone does
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: faithful with Love on June 28, 2011, 05:20:39 AM: OMG... This is to funny....They all sound the same...I mean the SAME....
He left at 10 pm to see other woman...
Said... your not mad are you????? :o
I said you know your married to that cell phone. All you do is text...His reply...
I'm married to someone else.
Wow.....okay buddy....
Got home ar 11:30 and said..
You wait up for me baby?
I was up but said nothing pretended to be sleep.
What a jerk.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Stillpraying on June 28, 2011, 08:28:11 PM: I typed this yesterday but lost it when I hit 'post'. So here is my second attempt:

I was just infatuated with you and shouldn't have married you.
I don't think I love you.
I don't want to be married to you anymore!!!
I'm sorry but I don't love you.
You are such an amazing woman and I am so blessed to have you.
A counsellor at work told me the first 2 years of a relationship are just infatuation. (Yes....? so...?).
Those $96 of flowers (4 days before my b'day) were a 'thankyou' for the woman I bought S9's bike from (Bike was bought for $80!).
I'm sorry I lied. I was flirting with someone at work and it was her birthday. We both respected that I was married.
I'm sorry but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you.
She (OW) is the nicest caring person I've ever known and she is innocent in all this. I hoped you would grow to like her. It is not the same person I bought the flowers for.
She has been a friend for a year and been very supportive of me, as have all my other 'friends'. I confided in her about OUR marriage and when I told her we separated, she made her intentions known.
Our marriage is OVER!!!
You don't know how to love a man like a wife should becuase you never got that from your father (who passed away nearly 6 yrs ago). Hope you get that from God!!!!
Our Marriage is Over!!
We (OW and H) are aware of the kids emotional needs. When you find a new relationship, you need to ease them into it, just like we did ??? ::)(After 2months of leaving kids are taken to her place)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: phoenixwoman1 on June 28, 2011, 09:31:00 PM: Faithful with Love, my XH said nearly the same to me. We had been "seeing each other" about once a week for a couple of months last winter then suddenly showed up one night to pick kids up with OW driving his truck >:( The next time I saw him he said, "Are you mad at me or something?" WTH!?
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LettingGo on June 28, 2011, 09:59:44 PM: StillPraying... your husband is ALSO bats*** crazy, BUT, I believe FaithfulWithLove's husband's declaration "I know she's a ow, but she needs my help" Still trumps all.... sorry you can't be the winner here, LOL!!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Stillpraying on June 29, 2011, 01:05:15 AM: This won't trump FWL's but I have a few more to add I've had nearly 2 years off it so it's slowly coming back to me :P:

If you would just stop doing the same things all the time and be more loving to me.
We must come from different planets!
I will pay half your rent after we sell the home. :o
Don't touch me!!!
You're a Nutcase!
You need help!
Don't judge me!
I treasure the time we dated and our weekend away (1 mth before he left).
We have too many arguments and I grew up with that and don't want my kids to have to. (Excuse for leaving as said to my brother).
I don't want another relationship as I always stuff them up (Week later with OW!)
I want to see a counselor to make the best of this relationship (with OW)
I always get into relationships too quickly ???
We don't have any common interests.
The children are my priority.
I have too borrow money and eat at the soup kitchen because of the bills and rent I have to pay (I paid the rent!!)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Shantilly Lace on June 29, 2011, 01:14:08 AM: My sister came to visit last year. It was purely legal stuff in regards to the fact she will buy our parents house out at market value. The paperworkwas to say asmuch.

Anyway Dearheart says, WE don't want any money from your family. :o

Uh you're living with ow and I for one think the money may be handy one day! 8)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Glimmer on July 25, 2011, 10:24:01 PM: Just remembered part of a conversation I had with my H last summer during a R talk.

We were sat in the garden and he was telling me how wonderful this OW was and how they had so much in common. He then said to me that he hoped I could meet someone else, someone I had a lot in common with. We would both be happy then, and the four of us could meet up as friends and have some great times together.!! :o :o :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Millvina on July 26, 2011, 12:08:56 AM: Not come across this thread before, really made me smile. I find this reading from the same script
thing amazing. Here is one of mine
"I want you in my life I just haven't decided how that will look yet."

Plus loads of the same as everyone else!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: kikki on July 26, 2011, 03:15:00 AM: How about -

'she (OW) makes me feel calm and safe'

'she is just so intelligent' (I have my doubts)

'she doesn't like you' -
of course not, she's shagging my husband!
'No, it's because you won't let me see the boys'. (Huh?)
Perhaps it's time you told her the truth - that your boys don't like spending time with you because of your behaviours and actions.
'yes you're right, I should tell her'......... (I won't hold my breath)

'she can't understand why the boys don't spend half the week with me'
Your boys are teenagers - that is their choice.
'She just doesn't understand'
(well - how about filling her in then!)

'Thanks for being so strong throughout this'

'You are amazing'

'I don't ever want you to feel abandoned or worried about anything' (He left a year ago and we had no idea where he was living for three months and is constantly threatening legal action against me whenever I stop him from seeing me)

'I'm always more here with you than anywhere else' (really - in mind or body?)

'This has to stop. It is weird how I left a year ago, but haven't really left. I'm always coming here to see you' (yip, you sure are!)

'I know the OW is an addiction, but I haven't even begun to sort that one out yet' (no kidding)

'
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Little Chief on July 26, 2011, 04:38:39 AM: Although nothing tops the Helping the ow thing, I've got a few...

These are just friends
Texting with friends is just something I do now
You'll have to get over it

And my favorite: The kids will be fine, I am :o :o :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: summer progress on July 26, 2011, 05:11:46 AM: Mine also said "The kids will be fine... (they are 18, 20, 22) they are grown."

Here are others:

I do not appreciate you the way that you deserve to be appreciated... You deserve someone who will appreciate you.

You are handeling this very maturely.

It is not you... (This changes weekly to something I have done in the past).

It is not the amount of love you give, you give more love than a person deserves.

There is nothing wrong with me... (changed to... I am so messed up and confused inside).

I can see you getting remarried in the future, but I do not think that I will ever remarry. (might be.. I want you to move on, but I am seeing if you want to move on)

You understand what is wrong with me more than I do (but he had said there is nothing wrong with him... hmmm?).

I need to "click" off our relationship in order to work on myself. We will always see each other in the future and it may "click" back on.

I realize I could be making the biggest mistake of my life and that I may have to come back on my hands and knees and beg for forgiveness (same person who wants me to get on with my life?).

It is never too late... Her new husband could die and they could get back together. (Said after hearing about how my friend's brother got divorced and his wife remarried and wants nothing to do with him).

I have to get you out of my head.

I do not like how optomistic you are because I am a cynic.

I do not like public displays of affection.

I love you (changed to... I do not understand the difference between like and love).

We have had the best 23 years of our lives and I need to end it before one of us hurts each other. I want to look back on how great those years were.

I wonder if I am like a wounded animal running away from the pack to die?

(To 2 of the kids) I feel crowded and angry and need to leave to fix myself... (With other son 1 week later turned to.. Your mother and I are having problems).

I do not trust people, I do not trust anyone, I do not even trust myself.

That is society's view of marriage.

I do not know if I believe in marriage.

I have never made any decisions for myself without the influence of others.

(About our relationship)... It is like that shed, it needs to be torn down and fixed from the ground up.

Sigh!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: summer progress on July 26, 2011, 05:37:30 AM: I forgot these:

I only have 10 to 20 years left to live.

One day you will thank me for this. (As if?)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: faithful with Love on July 26, 2011, 05:55:06 AM: They all sound the same... Just sad so sad...
My h told me I hated him lastnight... I said no I dont. I am still in love with you... he said no you hate me... I said no I hate what you have done...
Poor h is so lost in his his head..
If I hated you I would have left you a long time ago, I would have dealt with this...
Man they are something arent they?
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LifeGoesOn on July 26, 2011, 08:57:37 AM: (when in monster) "ALL I GET FROM YOU IS ANGER!" :o

(after monster) "I have no memories."
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on July 26, 2011, 09:31:53 AM: 2 weeks after BD when I tracked him to an alleyway behind his job I said "We can go on a cruise together." With dead eyes he said " A cruise? I'd jump over the side of the ship to get away from you."
Nice. :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Millvina on July 26, 2011, 09:32:57 AM: Had these popping into my head all day!

'I didn't spend that much time with her (D17) so she probably hasn't noticed' - that he'd moved out!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: faithful with Love on July 26, 2011, 09:46:14 AM: Titanic,
How old is your spouse? I get the drunk staying out till 4:30am..Mine is 35
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: wondering on July 26, 2011, 09:48:43 AM: My H told me the other day, how lucky I am...that I have a sugar daddy (him) to pay the bills. Yes, I feel sooooo lucky ::)

oh and I get the drunk but only lasts until 11pm..he's 64!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on July 26, 2011, 11:19:35 AM: My favorite is still "I am with a REAL friend now." insert robot voice.
Especially since he spent 15 years telling me I was his only friend in the world. Even guys he would exchange #s with to play guitar or fix a porch door after a little while a year or so he HATED them. Their politics,their sense of humor,the way they treated their partners :o
So crazed! So different then they were pre-BD. :'(
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Millvina on July 26, 2011, 01:44:39 PM: Hi FWL
My H is 51! When he was 35 (or 25 or 45) he wouldn't have stayed out drinking till 3 am if you'd paid him to do it!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: kikki on July 26, 2011, 01:55:51 PM: I especially liked hearing (a few months after BD) ' the boys will be fine. I'm not prepared to live any longer by your or your children's morals!'

Huh? Last I heard they were his children too and their morals previously were modelled for them by BOTH parents.

This is even better 'OW was not just someone who was there. I'm really fussy, I don't go after just anyone!!!!!!!!' (No kidding)

'OW and I get on really well. We both had terrible childhoods' (sorry I'm not part of that club - I feel left out!)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: With Gods Help! on October 02, 2011, 02:37:08 PM: Bumped up for xyz....loved reading your last post had me in tears you are and inspiration xyz................. Godbless you xxxxx
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on October 02, 2011, 02:45:47 PM: I do love this thread! I always remember things he said that I forgot.
Whe H got fired last month from his driving job and took out 1/2 his 401k plan to pay THEIR bills he said "It's just a bump in the road." :o :o :o :o and abandoning us was what then? A pothole?
He and OW really don't see the crash that is coming . Do they? :)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: L&S on October 02, 2011, 05:03:25 PM: My favorite line:

"Can you tell me what went wrong in our R so I don't make the same mistake with OW?"

Also, while he was still living/sleeping with me and had to quickly end a phone call to OW without saying 'I love you' because I came home unexpectedly:

Him: "It really broke her heart!"
Me: "As much as you're breaking my heart?"
Him: "Probably about equal."
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Thundarr on October 02, 2011, 05:09:46 PM: L & S,

Your partner may be in the running for the most crazed commentaries. Asking you to give him advice to help him with OW?!? That's priceless!! You HAVE to realize that no sane person would even consider something like that, much less vocalize it.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on October 02, 2011, 05:28:28 PM: L and S LMAO!! Too funny. They are nuts. Mine told the Ds once that we would all go out to the diner with OW and Mommy and all be friends. :o :o :o
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Anjae on October 02, 2011, 05:36:51 PM: Quote from: summer progress on July 26, 2011, 05:37:30 AM
One day you will thank me for this. (As if?)

I've been told that one as well after BD. That he was doing me a favour and, one day, I will thank him for this.

Maybe he was right and that day has come. I'm really thankful, learned a lot, changed a lot, grew a lot, went through many and hard family situations, meet many new wonderful people, including you all here in the forum. Thing is, I suspect he will not be the beneficiary of the new improved me.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Stillpraying on October 02, 2011, 05:50:50 PM: The day after I found out about OW and H asked to come see me but I wouldn't so he just couldn't help himself and sent a text to 'explain':

"She is the most beautiful caring person I know and she is INNOCENT in all this." (I wonder if he still feels the same way 6 months later?)

"It just happened. :o :o I didn't want you to think I left you for her. The flowers I bought [$96 worth -2 weeks prior] were for another person at work"

"I was going to tell you in 3 months" (Yes, H, I know. So you could pass it off as a new relationship and not an affair???? ::)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LettingGo on October 02, 2011, 05:53:39 PM: L&S..... you're definitely in the running for craziest..... but someone's husband used the line "I know she's a ow, but she needs me..." and I think it still might be tops in my book, LOL!!

RE: Breaking OW's heart.... heard this one only a month ago when I asked why he went to OW's for her birthday.... "Because even though I'm breaking up with her for life, I didn't want to break her heart on her birthday...." two weeks prior to that, he spent HIS birthday with her... when asked WHY he would do such a thing, when his kids had to write "happy birthday Daddy" on his FB wall... his answer? "Because she did something really nice for me (threw him a party... no agenda there!) and I didn't want you and the kids doing anything for my birthday since I don't deserve it...." Ok, and how did he justify spending MY birthday with OW, after giving me the big buildup about how perfect and wonderful he was going to make it this year?... "Why are you upset? It's not like SHE knew it was your birthday!!" ummmm.... unless she checked my FB page, which I'm pretty sure she did since she's threatened by me...
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on October 02, 2011, 06:07:51 PM: LG That is hysteriacl. " It's not like SHE knew it was your Birthday...." OMG. That does it. It's official, they are INSANE!!!!! What does what your Hs Affair partner not knowing it's your birthday have to do with anything..? I mean if we didn't find each other on here we'd be in a rubber room. No wonder they cling to us. Who else would/could put up with all of this.

Just remembered, my H sometimes sees me looking at him when he's leaving with the Ds and he'll say "Awww. Why don't you take a long,hot bath and listen to some Jackson Browne?" Does he really think it's necessary to give me advice on how to deal with the stress of being abandoned by HIM? Why not write a book " How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with a Skank Ho" :o :o :o published by Harper/Collins.
??? Nice coffee table book.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Anjae on October 02, 2011, 06:08:52 PM: Quote from: Stillpraying on October 02, 2011, 05:50:50 PM
The day after I found out about OW and H asked to come see me but I wouldn't so he just couldn't help himself and sent a text to 'explain':

"She is the most beautiful caring person I know and she is INNOCENT in all this." (I wonder if he still feels the same way 6 months later?)

"It just happened. :o :o I didn't want you to think I left you for her. The flowers I bought [$96 worth -2 weeks prior] were for another person at work"

"I was going to tell you in 3 months" (Yes, H, I know. So you could pass it off as a new relationship and not an affair???? ::)

Priceless! ;D I also have that of was going to tell you after I left and a it has passed a while since I've moved in with X (a single male acquaintance of husband). Husband really did not wanted anyone to know it was an affair. He had not even told the guy he went to live with that the affair had started before he left and move in with this guy. So, OW1 only made her public appearance a few weeks after husband left. The all "they were already separated, she did not come in between". No of course not.

Well, she did not come in between, he let someone come between us.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Stillpraying on October 02, 2011, 06:24:51 PM: AnneJ.

Mind you the text I 'accidentally' received from my H to OW, stated "Love you" on it. Well, my my, that was quick then......... Declaring your love for some one in the first week of your relationship??? ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Anjae on October 02, 2011, 06:28:31 PM: Still, they are quicker than teenagers. don't remember husband, then, boyfriend aged 17, saying "I love you" in the first month, let alone first week... ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: kikki on October 02, 2011, 06:55:10 PM: Quote from: Mamma Bear on October 02, 2011, 06:07:51 PM
Why not write a book " How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with a Skank Ho" :o :o :o published by Harper/Collins.
??? Nice coffee table book.

That's a brilliant idea - can you just imagine the illustrations!!! :o :o :o
Photographs or illustrations do you think? Or a mix of both perhaps?
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Anjae on October 02, 2011, 07:03:20 PM: Quote from: kikki on October 02, 2011, 06:55:10 PM
Quote from: Mamma Bear on October 02, 2011, 06:07:51 PM
Why not write a book " How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with a Skank Ho" :o :o :o published by Harper/Collins.
??? Nice coffee table book.

That's a brilliant idea - can you just imagine the illustrations!!! :o :o :o
Photographs or illustrations do you think? Or a mix of both perhaps?

Nah... that is nor fair to the ones of us whose husband live in nice flats with nice looking OW, like mine does. They have a interiors design magazine look a like flat. And OW looks so sweet an gentle that it would end up being a really good coffee table book. :-\

LG, how come OW can see you FB page or even just your birthday on it? It is possible to only have that info for your friends. Do you have your FB page open to everyone? Is OW on your FB page?...
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: TrustingMyHP on October 02, 2011, 07:44:30 PM: Well, a few days after BD, when H and I were talking about OW, he told me they weren't talking about marriage "yet." I then said (this was before I learned not to ever say anything about OW) "then why are you talking to me about divorce?"

H said to me, with a straight face (I later leanred he said the same thing to our therapist one of the last times he saw him) "we wouldn't have to get a divorce if you'd let OW live with us. All she wants is to sleep at the foot of the bed."

I am not kidding. He was serious.

He also told me, "OW has been your best friend through all this. You'll never know how many times she tried to get me to return to you." Uh-huh.

Nobody who hasn't experienced this s*** would believe it.

TMHP
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: kikki on October 02, 2011, 08:05:06 PM: Quote from: AnneJ on October 02, 2011, 07:03:20 PM
Why not write a book " How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with a Skank Ho" :o :o :o published by Harper/Collins.
??? Nice coffee table book.

'That's a brilliant idea - can you just imagine the illustrations!!! :o
Photographs or illustrations do you think? Or a mix of both perhaps?'
[/quote]

'Nah... that is nor fair to the ones of us whose husband live in nice flats with nice looking OW, like mine does. They have a interiors design magazine look a like flat. And OW looks so sweet an gentle that it would end up being a really good coffee table book. :-\'
[/quote]

Okay - fair enough AnneJ

How about a duo then? 1) How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with an OVERT Skank Ho"

and 2) How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with a COVERT Skank Ho"

Trusting - that just about takes the cake!!! :-\
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Anjae on October 02, 2011, 08:25:50 PM: Quote from: kikki on October 02, 2011, 08:05:06 PM
Okay - fair enough AnneJ

How about a duo then? 1) How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with an OVERT Skank Ho"

and 2) How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with a COVERT Skank Ho"

Ok, I think that will do. Second option will match the covert depression. So odd the people he hangs around do not see how bad he is...

TrustingMyHP, that "H said to me, with a straight face (I later leanred he said the same thing to our therapist one of the last times he saw him) "we wouldn't have to get a divorce if you'd let OW live with us. All she wants is to sleep at the foot of the bed." is soooooo out there.

Think this were people who would not believe if a person would tell them that someone they know would say/do such things...
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: kikki on October 02, 2011, 09:11:51 PM: Quote from: AnneJ on October 02, 2011, 08:25:50 PM

Ok, I think that will do. Second option will match the covert depression. So odd the people he hangs around do not see how bad he is...

They must do ........ they just think they've always been moody and tetchy ........... they don't hang out with people that knew them before usually
From what I heard today from our one mutual friend, the 'mask' has been slipping off a lot lately (in public)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: LettingGo on October 03, 2011, 04:33:26 AM: Quote
LG, how come OW can see you FB page or even just your birthday on it? It is possible to only have that info for your friends. Do you have your FB page open to everyone? Is OW on your FB page?...

AnneJ, OW doesn't even own a computer... when she has looked at my page, it was either at work, or through a friend. I know that OW is threatened by me, so if she can't stop herself from looking at pictures of me and the kids and husband on vacation, it just makes her act out even worse....

I have posted things deliberately that I knew would drive my husband AND her crazy, if they happened to look.... things such as pics of me out with friends at parties and clubs.... me with family... new babies and such... I post positive things like how happy I am, or how wonderful the steaks I just grilled are.... how I'm looking forward to my vacation to California, or wherever.... she has NONE of these things!

Not that I care, but my husband DID reveal that she tried to tell him I was a "ho" for always being out with young people having fun!! ;D ;D ;D ;D he then DEFENDED me by telling her what a great Mom and Wife and wonderful person I am, LOL!! BINGO!! I don't spend much time on FB in the first place, but I did use it for showing my GAL activities, and in the beginning, my husband would sometimes call soon after I posted pics of me and the kids on some adventure.... it made him jealous and miss us even more.

I'm very glad that OW doesn't have a FB page.... I'm sure she would be posting the obligatory pictures of her and my husband together as her profile picture. I have been lucky to dodge MANY bullets in this.... beginning with my husband having a vasectomy... otherwise, I'm sure OW would have already had a baby with him.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: starrett on October 03, 2011, 06:12:31 AM: mine told me I made her mad in 1988, I work on thankgivings, then she told me I got made at her in 1992,, I bought my daddy a tombstone, we even talk about it, and now she is mad about that too,, I got mad at her when the house was messy and I got down to my emg underware, and there was no clean towles, , and thatIdidn't know how to love her, I felt love strongly, but I couldn't show it after 27yrs together and 31yrs total, she was just realize that, like come on be real, andwe never went on vacation, I brought up ever vacation we have ever been on, and those didn't count. like what the heck
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on October 03, 2011, 07:23:53 AM: Starrett, In those strange excuses I find my HOPE!
No one would explain abandoning their family that way except someone who is confused and scared. :'(
They are grasping at straws. Mine told me 'You should have seen this coming.' and this from a very nice man up until that moment. :o :o
Reading between the lines it's like a call for help. "Yes, I'll help you by getting out of the way. " it's all we can do and carry on with our own journeys. I'm starting to like the 'OW sleeping at the foot of the bed one' . LOL~!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Thundarr on October 03, 2011, 07:25:52 AM: Kikki - I suspect they take on all-new friends because they want the friends to think that who they are seeing is the real them, and the new friends don't realize they are being the total opposite of who they really are. It makes the mask easier to wear for them.

LG - Great use of FB as a tool!! I'm sure it helps your own self esteem to know that she's burning up over the realization that she is an affair down.

Star - Early on, my W brought up an incident between she and I that I had forgotten about and so apologized to her once again. It was only after she told me that she "doesn't forgive easily" that I stopped to think and realized that was 20 years ago!!! She was talking about it like it was just recent. I swear it's like she has every negative thing I ever did saved on a hard drive or something. She also denied enjoying our trip to Disneyworld last year and said she has only been acting like she was happy all these years. She is a great actress, I have to say, if she pulled that off.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: starrett on October 03, 2011, 07:34:50 AM: Mine told me she has been unhappy for 27yrs, she needs to be in hollywood, and, sure could have fool me, we have been going a vacation every yr for the past 5yrs just us, but she says that doesn't count and also going on 3 other trips also, just us, so it is 4 a yr wow, but none ofthem matter either.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: NewBeginnings on October 03, 2011, 07:39:00 AM: My H always holds grudges against people. He does not forget. He holds it in for years and never says anything. He is a conflict avoider. Never spoke of his feelings, avoided any type of arguement but holds onto anger and resentment for years. And he does this with everyone, not just me. Last week he told me I was mean to him because back in Jan. he had just gotten home from being gone all week and he was at the front door with it wide open and I yelled down to him as he was petting the dogs and asked him if he would let the dogs out quick. He told me last week he was furious with me for that. :o :o He never said a word until now. Stupid, his reasons for leaving are just plain stupid and I find them funny. I wont tell him that but really, to hold a grudge against me for asking him to let our dogs out.

NB
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on October 03, 2011, 07:44:44 AM: Watch out NB. Thundarr might get D'd bc he likes Britney Spear's Music :o :o :o
Nb.... Why don't you call your next thread "WHO"LL Let The Dogs Out?" whoo? whoo? whoo? ::) ::)
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: NewBeginnings on October 03, 2011, 07:47:15 AM: MB - Hey, thats a good one, LOL I need to start a new thread.

NB
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Wed2Him?Whatever. on October 03, 2011, 08:21:58 AM: "Are you happy? Because I don't think that I am."
"I am sick of the same old thing, day in, day out."
"I am stuck, I am trapped, I'd rather be in prison."
"Let's face it, you will survive just fine without me."
"I'm just not cut out to live here, I'm a country boy."
"I've felt this way for years, I just kept it to myself."
"I feel like I am going crazy."
"I can't do this anymore. I'm done."
"We're just roommates. I don't feel married."
"I think we should separate. This ain't fair to either of us."
"I'll make mistakes, but they will be my mistakes to make."
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: NewBeginnings on October 03, 2011, 09:38:54 AM: "I'm not happy, your're not happy" Really? :o
"We used to be friends, now we aren't"
"She's a friend, a roommate"
"It has nothing to do with the sex, nothing!"
"I'm so angry inside"
"We have nothing in common"
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Wed2Him?Whatever. on October 03, 2011, 10:23:58 AM: Quote from: NewBeginnings on October 03, 2011, 09:38:54 AM
"I'm not happy, your're not happy" Really? :o
"We used to be friends, now we aren't"
"She's a friend, a roommate"
"It has nothing to do with the sex, nothing!"
"I'm so angry inside"
"We have nothing in common"
Yeah I love them insisting we couldn't possibly be happy. Yes I was happy, pre-BD. My H told me that he was angry but not with me, he was "angry at the world". He followed up by saying, "That's the last time I'm gonna say it." It was the ONLY time he'd said it. ??? They are in such a fog when they say all the junk they say. Pure GARBAGE!
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Thundarr on October 03, 2011, 10:42:41 AM: Hey Mamma,

Correction - I don't like Britney's MUSIC. LOL

Also remembered my W telling her cousin who had expressed sympathy for the D that it was the best thing ever and "(Thundarr)'s a therapist. He'll know what to do" as a a way of saying I would not be hurt by her decisions.

My all-time least favorite though is "I'm the happiest I've ever been." Gee, getting married, giving birth to 3 kids, buying a house and going on several vacations doesn't make you as happy as abandoning your family? Maybe that is the secret to happiness. Don't think so.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: With Gods Help! on October 03, 2011, 11:07:47 AM: When i told my h he was committing adultery and that GOD would make him pay for his sins......he replied well he cant i don’t believe in GOD :o :o :o :o i said well i do just because we cant see him doesn’t mean he cant see what your up to ;) ;) ;) i said one day he will make you reap what you sow...........then when he found out some man wanted to take me on a date.........he said you cant do that we made our wedding vows in front of GOD :o :o :o :o he said GOD will make you pay i said no he wont........ for one you don’t believe in him and for two i would divorce before having a R with anyone i said just because i may consider going on a date doesn’t mean im as desperate as o/w and will screw him on the first night...i said i have pride respect and dignity for myself..........he didn’t know what to say cos he knew o/w slept with him on the first date......... showing how much she respects herself and how needy and desperate she was xxxxxxxxxxx
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Mamma Bear on October 03, 2011, 11:42:57 AM: Did I mention when he said "I just was bringing my amps and guitars over her apt. bc we were friends. I asked if her husband would mind all this crap at their apt . Ow said 'Oh I'm not married! I'm single' " Whamo! Then everyone's clothes flew off and it's true love. :o :o :o :o Thanks for that H. Such good friends with her he thought she was married. OK?
Meanwhile back at the ranch he'd told me for 15 years " It took me 35 years to find you I am never going to let you go."
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Anjae on October 03, 2011, 03:21:02 PM: Quote from: kikki on October 02, 2011, 09:11:51 PM
Quote from: AnneJ on October 02, 2011, 08:25:50 PM

Ok, I think that will do. Second option will match the covert depression. So odd the people he hangs around do not see how bad he is...

They must do ........ they just think they've always been moody and tetchy ........... they don't hang out with people that knew them before usually
From what I heard today from our one mutual friend, the 'mask' has been slipping off a lot lately (in public)

For what I know, everybody thinks husband is fantastic, always up beat and such a great guy. He hangs around many people who did not knew him before (nor know me) and some that did knew us before but somehow end up with very regressive juvenile lifestyles, just like my husband's one. But even these people that knew us, only knew us, but for one or two, from social events, and many only from a short period befofe he left. Don't think he is moody or tetchy in public or at work. So, unless he is like that with OW, I have no idea what he does with monster (moster was still there last March when I spoke with him on the phone), the moon or the crankyness.

But my SIL does know her brother. Still, she does not seem to mind with his lifestyle, she even joins in it sometimes. And that is weird. Unless she is also going through some sort of MLC or transformation.

LG, in my real FB (not the one on the alt) I post positive things and things I like, but I do tend to not say much where I've been or with whom. I'm reserved on those matters by nature, just like with pictures. And I have it closed except for people that are my FB friends. Of course, since I have SIL on my FB, husband can see it if he wants.
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: kikki on October 03, 2011, 03:24:50 PM: AnneJ - your H must be very good at keeping his 'mask' on???
Title: Re: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from
Post by: Anjae on October 03, 2011, 03:35:03 PM: No idea. I have not seen him in over three years. But, given that he has a public life, and sometimes people talk about him, well, I guess he must.

Most people think we are divorced. And with good reason, we are separated for 5 years, I moved back home over 4 years ago, I have not seen him in over 3 years, hardly talk about him or the situation to anyone. Family and close friends know we are still married and that husband lives with someone else. But that is all most of them know.

I know OW2 did not knew he was married when they meet. I was already back home and, after OW1, he put "single" on his social networks. She did no went after the married man. She got interested in this nice, cheerful guy that leads the same clubbing and party life she does. No idea what husband told OW2. Only know she knows he is still legally married.
Title: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from-2
Post by: Stillpraying on October 27, 2011, 04:01:01 PM: http://www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/script.html
Title: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from-2
Post by: Anjae on October 27, 2011, 05:33:54 PM: Interesting link, Still. However don't agree with this "Simply because you are his wife, every other woman by definition seems easier to talk to." At least I don't think this apply to my husband. Talk, as in a real talk? Don't think it is easier for a man to talk to a stranger...but...

As for the part of the world full of possibilities...well, think that is valid fo us, the wife as well. Everywhere we look there is a man that looks nice and makes us feel a momentaneous happyness. So always say sorry because you don't know if he had had a good moment is silly. We may also had had a good moment...
Title: Re: The Script our MLCer reads from-2
Post by: bjc on October 28, 2011, 01:58:10 AM: Some of the phrases my wife loves:

"I separated you, not the kids"
" The kids will adapt"
" There is no guilty party in a separation"
" I have done nothing I have to be ashamed of"
" The professionals think that ..." ( when she is talking about her new psycologist and lawyer best friends)
"I haven´t loved you for many, many years"
" This is not my home any more" ( talking about the house where her two sons still live!)
" Don´t call me Tam, my name is Tammy"(I have always used a short name for her, let´s say her name is Tammy and I call her Tam. She never seemed to mind. She does now)