Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: ziggee on October 21, 2011, 10:10:31 PM
-
Now I am just curious... I have seen a lot of scripture references and a a lot of other religious connotations... So I am guessing... made up number here... but 2/3 of people who seem to be standing have some kind of biblical reference or point of view. Is this just my delusion. I know this is not an exclusive case.
My Wife's father was a preacher and a fairly famous... or is it infamous... what ever the case may be,... I am currently struggling in light of the current situation but I have found it interesting the number of references... I am thinking in general standars have some kind of religious background. Not always and I sure as heck dont offend anyone by these statements
Me.
-
I think you're right Ziggee. I went to Church growing up, but haven't since.
Guess you'd call me spiritual these days.
Think standing is often based on personal ethics and sincerity and intuition. Have you heard of the four personality types?
I started a poll a while ago to see if there was any link.
I had a hunch that a lot of us were Idealists (turned out to be true), with Guardians coming a close second.
-
Hey Zig,
My W and I were born Catholic and have raised our kids in the faith. Funny thing is that the months before BD my W completely turned against and began mocking the church. As RCR has stated (and DGU has referenced many times) one of the battles the MLCer fights is against their faith. According to our faith, no earthly judge can break our marriage as it was joined by God. Only an annulment would cause us to not be married in the eyes of the church. Both sets of parents were Catholic and neither of our parents divorced, but we each have at least one sibling who did. My W used to say that she did not believe in D, and neither did I. But, she filed for it BEFORE BD and later mocked and laughed at me for saying it was sinful and not what God wants.
Strangely, even though she has mocked my (and our once-shared) religious beliefs (and a couple stories are too horrific to put on a lighthearted thread but they're included in mine), she always tells the kids that they SHOULD go to church with me on the weekends and she wants them brought up in the faith and even attending CCD classes now that they no longer go to Catholic school. MlC craziness for sure.
-
Both my H and I have a strong faith background.
-
My wife has not only turned her back... she ridicules my oldest daughter who has expressed an interest in going at least twice a month.. Welcome to the life of Hosea heh :/
Me.
-
My H has turned his back but he doesn't say anything negative about me taking the kids to church, etc. I am very thankful for that.
-
My H has turned his back but he doesn't say anything negative about me taking the kids to church, etc. I am very thankful for that.
Awesome... Now I have a pretty diverse song choice... and my fathers favorite song to song in the shower is was how great thow art... and my purely random song selector...iTunes (blah free marketing for Apple) just picked Elvis singing how great thou art...
Oh wait... just switched to Dire straits... Romeo and Juliet...
Me.
-
My H and I are both Christians who have raised our children in a Christian home. He quit attending church over a year ago. He has told me that God would not give him answers to his prayers.....which apparently was a return of his feelings for me.
-
My husband is catholic, both parents attended mass every week, I converted at the age of 27. We attended mass pretty much every week together for 35years. When I tried to ask him how he could justify this he told Nernst God wanted him to be happy.
My faith has grown stronger throughout this.....I don't think he gets to mass as regularly as he is always traveling but Ithink he still considers himself a "good catholic boy".
-
We are both Christians, we go to the Episcopal Anglican Church.
His background is Roman Catholic and mine is evangelical. At BD he suggested that he felt forced to go to church with me 32 years ago! When I asked if he had sought God's guiding, he said he had and that he felt that God wanted him to be happy. He still went to church with me for a month or so after BD and then stopped entirely.
The children are now reluctant to go to church and generally don't go any more with the exception of middle son (he was cured from cancer, so maybe that makes a difference for him).
Interestingly, when h. was at the house picking up stuff for his apartment on a Sunday, he saw that d16 was asleep when she would have been at church with me. He asked eldest s19 why she hadn't gone to church ???
I cannot mention the subject because he reacts manic like and smiles saying that he is following God's will for his life.
He sent me a couple of chain e-mails with biblical references in them and I replied to one, pointing out the incorrections in the references, but inserting blessings for him. I never received another one ??? ???
So, yes, Conway is absolutely correct and in my opinion, this is also a spiritual battle.
I believe God wants me to be a stander for His glory and name, not my will but His.
-
"The children are now reluctant to go to church and generally don't go any more with the exception of middle son (he was cured from cancer, so maybe that makes a difference for him)."
Oh, Mitzpah, just wanted to say it was very touching to read this line. :)
-
At BD, my H told me that he was sick of the same old thing. He brought up church as an example and said, "I may never go to church again. Don't know." (He kept going a few months after that and then quit.) He made it sound like the only reason was he'd grown tired of the same-ness of our life together. Then later on in July, when he had a Monster spew of epic proportions against me, he mocked and ridiculed everything about God, and was so angry at God and me both. He blamed God for letting his grandfather die. It had happened back in 1993 but hearing him talk, it was like the wounds were fresh. He had reacquainted himself with some old school chums and many (if not all) are apathetic, are agnostic or are atheistic and my gut tells me this is no coincidence. About a month or so ago, my H mentioned he'd wanted to go back to church with me but has not mentioned it since, and makes no effort to go with me now. I get sad about that. I do miss him going.
-
Some of our best friends in the area are from the local church. W has not been in contact with any of them in over six months. They where our family friends. My oldest D16 expressed an interest in going to church at least twice a month and w ridiculed her. I am not 100% sure, but everything I can see traces back to a woman's group bible study thing almost 3 years ago.
Some of the other woman in the group where making sweeping generalizations about life and how glade they where that it was not them and they where grate. My wife said you can't say stuff like that... you don't know who's life is what or how.
Knowing full well that the life they where describing was her life in her teenage years. My W felt small and useless and I know it bugged her because she talked about it all the time... I also think it was about the same time she started changing. Again I know there where other factors age... few grey hairs, last kid in full time kindergarten. Same said unersolved childhood issues. All the stars aligned for a perfect storm :/
Me