Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: readytofixmyselffirst on June 29, 2010, 08:40:47 PM
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I wish that this topic dealt with my wife, but it doesn't. Instead, it deals with a simple gesture that demonstrates true love. I had gone on a bike ride with my ten year old daughter. When we got back home, we walked to the corner store and I bought her a small ice cream. On the way back, I told her I was going to eat a piece of the cake she had baked and frosted (with homemade frosting) all on her own. I said I was going to eat it with a glass of chocolate milk. I spoke to a friend on the phone and when I came downstairs, there was the piece of cake, cut and topped with a little powder sugar and a strawberry. Next to it was a glass of chocolate milk. No one in the past six months has made anything for me- on the counter, I saw nothing but a daughter's love for her father. I gave her the biggest kiss and came up here to celebrate.I would like this thread be dedicated to celebration for all of us. If we do something fun. We have a laugh. Share a joke or enjoy the small moments of love. Have a great evening to all.
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Such a sweet, lovely story. Makes me cry. A love of a father to a daughter is so very, very precious and is a gift that lasts a lifetime. Not growing up with a loving father certainly had an impact on me, so your daughter having such a caring, devoted father will give her so much as she grows to womenhood. You should be so proud that you have this wonderful relationship with your daughter. It is something to cherish. Thank you for sharing such a lovely story. You are so right, let's celebrate the joys in our lives. We do have much to be grateful for, and let's continue to hope that our wayward spouses will find the light and way back to our love. In the meantime, let's all share our joys together as well as our sorrows. We give gifts to each other when we can share the precious, happy moments of our lives. Take care!
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RTFMS, that is such a sweet story. It reminds me of the relationship I had with my dad growing up. He owned his own service station and worked his buns of 12 hours a day to provide for his family of 9 (I am his youngest daughter); sometimes he would get home at 9 PM; I would always make sure that I had his dinner waiting for him no matter what time he got home; and I would make sure he had a hot cup of coffee in the morning. My dad was my hero and biggest supporter. I miss him terribly, but your story brought a big smile to my face because it reminded me of a happy time - thank you! I really needed that today! Your daughter is lucky to have such a wonderful father.
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That is a beautiful moment. Thanks for sharing it. :)
Along the lines of this thread, I will share a story from my week. Last Thursday night I was at a very low point, very low as I had confirmed the OW the night before. I knew I had to do something to snap out of this. My kids need a whole parent. I realized I had not prayed all day and sat down to do so. I wasn't really feeling it so I choose a short prayer. As I was finishing the words of the prayer, my son called out to me. One of my sisters was here (she lives about an hour away). She was picking up her daughter from my parents house and stopped in to see me. She brought me a necklace with the words of the "footprints in the sand" poem. It was the perfect thing at the perfect time. I knew and know my prayers are being heard, and I found joy in that moment.
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Beautiful story, ready!
My b/g twins are also 10. This is an age where they seemed to so tuned in to our emotional state. I try so hard to hide my sadness when it hits me. Even when I haven't shed a tear or given any indication I am sad, my daughter instantly picks up on it.
I say just love 'em with all that you have right now. These memories are going to last a lifetime.
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that 10-year--old age really is lovely. H left just a week before my birthday; my three were 10 then. We have a family birthday ritual that we do in the morning, it involves all other family members bringing cake, coffee, etc. to the birthday person in bed. All three really stepped up to the bar that year, they weren't even particularly comfortable with boiling water or anything but they did it, found everything themselves, candles included and brought it up for me, singing.
they have done so each year since, and were wonderful on mother's day as well. (not that they aren't otherwise, but you know what I mean....)
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Awww....T&L. That is just too sweet!
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Wonderful stories! Wonderful idea for a thread! Thanks for sharing!
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What wonderful storys. Mine is a little diffrent but last night I to had tears of joy. I have stated on my thread that I had been out of the Lords will for several years which also had a great impact on my kids. When all of this started the Lord brought me to my knees. I am back in church and am letting the Lord lead my life now.
My S24 got out of the Marine corp last sept. He came home mad at the world and at GOD. He was drinking every day. sometimes he would wake up and start drinking and go all day till he past out that night. He recently gave his life back to the Lord and is back in church. His new bride got saved Sunday morning.
About 2 months ago D22 and son inlaw started going to church. D22 gave her life back to the Lord and SIL got saved. So through all of the devistation in our lives the Lord brought us ALL back to him. PRAISE THE LORD!
Now I pray the Lord will work on H .
GOD BLESS!
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Hurt,
That is a true testimony of the awesome-ness of God!!!
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It was so uplifting to read your stories. Your own memories of your fathers and the actions of your children are truly remarkable during this time of crisis. I hope all of you can come to this thread for some laughs, some smiles, and more importantly the love that we all need during this time. Have a great day.
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My S10 brought tears of joy to me yesterday. For those that don't know, my S is autistic and very much into music - he loves to sing. When I picked him up at the bus yesterday, he was over joyed to see me - hugging me, telling me he loves me and that he missed me. I wanted to treat him, so I took him to McDonalds (haven't taken him in a while as we really are low on funds and that is a luxury that I just can't afford very often); when we were driving home from McDonalds, he burst into song - the song he sang was Faithfully by Journey. This was the song that my sister sang at my wedding. He sang it from beginning to end, even included the drum solos, etc. and would look lovingly at me while he was singing it. When he was done, he reached over, told me he loved me and gave me a kiss. It was so beautiful, it made me cry. My S is the best kid!
xoxoxo
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Music to my ears, our children have to be our source of comfort and inspiration. I am finding that I can detach better as I focus my energy towards them and not my spouse-who does not want that attention from me anyway. By giving it to the kids, I can stand and help them all in the same shot. Your son sounds so incredible. God Bless you and your story. Brought a smile and some warmth to my heart. Thanks for sharing.
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FHO,
That was absolutely beautiful! Children have a way of making all the hurt simply melt away. Great, great memories!
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What a great idea, especially sharing the ways that people are kind to us (we know we are all sacrificing a lot for others...)
My Ds also make small kind gestures to show that they love me, as well as hugs. But it's not only children, and friends, whose kindness keeps our world turning.
The other day I was surprised to receive a small parcel in the post from my parents (who live far away in another country). It wasn't my birthday! It was a small box of chocolates, with a card and a message to show their love and support for me. I kept the card, and have it by my side.
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Yes, my friends have been a great source of support. However, they are like me in the sense they can't understand my W's inexplicable behavior. Yet, I get hugs, smiles, and a place to go and just sit at times. I am hoping that the friends can continue to do what I do for my wife and provide some support but detach from the nuttiness.
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I went into this weekend thinking great, a long weekend, and I don't have much planned. I could not have been more wrong. I spent last night with my amazing and supportive friends having smores around the fire. Today , spending time with friends, and tomorrow, going over a friends lake house with a bunch of people. I am really starting to realize than regardless of my current MLC situation, I have a life that is so very full and rich with love and friendship.
I guess I just feel really blessed and I am starting to love myself again.
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Baxter, that's fantastic. I feel encouraged; may be one day I can post something like this.
This thread is such a good idea!
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I love reading this thread...yes, it was a wonderful idea and Mermaid, you WILL have something to post soon!!!
I have one! Today is D12's birthday. She spent last night with her Dad and came home a little and was a little quiet and short with everyone. She really wanted an ipod touch but no way could I afford it (long story but a co-worker had one that I could buy at a huge discount and make payments to her so got D12 one). She was disappointed that there was only one present to open. When she opened it, she said "no way" and jumped up, knocking the chair over and ran around the table and gave me a huge,long ol' hug and I heard her sniffing and she was crying! I have to say I have never gotten that kind of reaction from her before. I am sure there is a lot of thoughts going on with her with our situation and tween-hormones etc. but I won't forget that hug!!!!
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Loved that story, really made me smile!!! :D
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CW, that made me cry a little! Such a sweet story; thanks for sharing!!
Happy birthday to your daughter!
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Great story. Made my day a little easier. Hope you continue to cherish those moments when life becomes happy and you feel alive again.
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I'm bumping up this old thread of Ready's so we can share some happy moments. If we can think of one or two different things each day that we are really glad about, we can focus on our good times rather than our muddled MLCer.
Today I'm happy because the shine is shining and it's warmish (22ºC). My students were well behaved and seemed to enjoy their lessons, and I enjoyed being a teacher. I have an invitation for lunch tomorrow with a new friend.
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I'm excited about my trip to see the Phili/NYC LBS's. I wish we could all zap ourselves there...or anywhere for that matter....no need for it to be local if we can go anywhere... ;D ;D ;D
I'm happy, as stated on my thread, because my D8 has progressed as a reader this year and is excelling but I am most excited because she loves to read...always has her nose in a book..I think it is a positive distraction for her at this time. I also feel she sees this as a big part of herself and a connection to me.
I'm happy spring is coming and the ground is getting softer and I see daffodils peeking through the ground.
I"m happy that I have three beautiful healthy children that are a reflection of my love of life, living and creativity.
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My dad sent me a birthday card. He'd put a few bucks in there and had written that it was a meant as a little 'chink of light' in dark times. He'd written that he and my mom think about me and pray for my family often. He is in his late 70s and has to use a scooter to get to the post office. It means a lot. Made me smile. Something to keep - he is an old school carpenter - rarely 'shared' his feelings.
BNW
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Amazing story!!!! Love it
It is the little things that we should look at instead of over analyzing stuff and waiting for them to make us happy!!!
Give that little one a big squeeze :)
So glad you have her there to put a smile on your face.
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Beautiful people don’t just happen
I got this very beautiful quote by Elizabeth Kubler Ross in an email and I just had to share it with y’all..
Beautiful people do not just happen…
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have
known defeat,
known suffering,
known struggle,
known loss,
and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern…
Beautiful people do not just happen…
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Mermaid,
Very nice thought.
Thanks for sharing.
L