Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Forever Strong on December 04, 2011, 07:20:32 PM
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I am mostly a lurker but what amazes me about most of the people on this board... is the "love" they have for their MLC'er. Sometimes I wish someone loved me the way I love my ex-h. If anyone wants to know what "agape" means they should come here and read these post. The vows of better or worse in sickness and in health ring true within many people on this board. I can't help but to think one day people will ask me, "how did you know he would return?". Mostly I had faith, in our love, in him and I understood what he was going through and stood strong for me, for him, for our family.
It's nice to see other people love their spouses through the bad stuff in life. So many people want you to give up and encourage you to move on to another person. Since I'm such a minority in my thinking...I doubt myself and think maybe I am crazy about my way of thinking. Until I come here and read your words and most of you feel the exact same way as I do about your spouse.
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Hi FS
Yes, kind of unusual - the love. It just is!
Even though we get tired, mad, frustrated, buried under the rubble and all sorts of other things, it doesn't seem to go too far away. It just is! :)
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God tells us to live by faith and not by sight. God tells us that this is his battle - and he never loses. We need to be obedient and faithful and God promises to do the rest.
Too many today think that their happiness is paramount - even if that means walking away from a marriage and destroying a family. Those who are humble will be exalted and those who exalt themselves will be humbled.
To say covenant vows before the King of Kings and Lord of Lords is serious business. Civil courts and their myriad of reasons for declaring the end of a marriage mean nothing to God.
MLCers and other WAS's think that once they are no longer happy that the marriage needs to end. They know NOTHING about the love that God commands for us to give to our spouses. Love is a choice. Love is a commitment. Love never fails. I feel honored that God chose me to stand for the truth of his Word. Without Him I can do nothing. With God, I can love my H as God has told me to love my H.
No weapon formed against us shall prosper. God is a God of justice, LBSers. Lean on him. Wait on him to move and to vindicate us and to restore all that the devil has stolen from us. God is love. Love never fails. God will not fail us.
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I'm a buddhist and have been (alongside h ) for 23 years.
we only had our Buddhist spiritual wedding 3 1/2 years ago; we waited until we lived somewhere big enough to host a party.
In the buddhism we practice, marriage is seen as a place to grow. We are EXPECted to draw out the poisons of "anger. greed . stupidity" out into the daylight in order to grow. It is with this attitude I am determined to work towards reconciliation. I made a spiritual commitment that things would not be easy but we would learn from each other
‘I have heard that there are many cases in which discord between husband and wife ends up in divorce. This seems to be a global trend. However, I am convinced that if one of the two is staunch enough to make a deep determination to work towards reconciliation, they can definitely overcome the problem existing between them. Basing yourself on unshakable faith is of the utmost significance (Buddhism in Action, Vol. 1, pp.116-8).
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I love your title because yes we are amazing humans. It would be so easy right now to hate, to walk away, to never look back and never be hurt again but ultimately I would be denying myself of truth. You can't run or hide or avoid love, it is there, and throughout all this I am determined to be truthful to myself. Friends, family and society in general will voice their opinions but ultimately I am the only one that knows my own truth and only I can work out what I can or will do with what is thrown at me. It is hard to like H with what he is doing to me and my boys but liking and loving are two very different things. It is an amazing ability of humans to love through adversity and I too have found immense reassurance and kinship in the short time I've been on this forum. Knowing there are others out there going through very similar things but also others with a similar attitude and love for their MLCer is a great comfort.
I will forever stand true to the vows I took and do hope that one day H can feel the same, I know he has it in him but I'm just scared he wont find it.
Ez xx
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God tells us to live by faith and not by sight. God tells us that this is his battle - and he never loses. We need to be obedient and faithful and God promises to do the rest.
Too many today think that their happiness is paramount - even if that means walking away from a marriage and destroying a family. Those who are humble will be exalted and those who exalt themselves will be humbled.
To say covenant vows before the King of Kings and Lord of Lords is serious business. Civil courts and their myriad of reasons for declaring the end of a marriage mean nothing to God.
MLCers and other WAS's think that once they are no longer happy that the marriage needs to end. They know NOTHING about the love that God commands for us to give to our spouses. Love is a choice. Love is a commitment. Love never fails. I feel honored that God chose me to stand for the truth of his Word. Without Him I can do nothing. With God, I can love my H as God has told me to love my H.
No weapon formed against us shall prosper. God is a God of justice, LBSers. Lean on him. Wait on him to move and to vindicate us and to restore all that the devil has stolen from us. God is love. Love never fails. God will not fail us.
Thank you so much, Covenant, this was just what I needed to read today. I am having a very bad time right now with my live-in MLCer. My H has threatened separation before and last night, because I did not zip my lips (and I had been doing very well until that point! :-X), I said something that my H has been able to pretty much beat me over the head with then and today too.
I feel he is gearing up for another round of "We need to separate" but I'm going to try to focus on God who will get the victory!
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Yes, we are amazing humans. All of us. To be honest, if I had not found this site... I honestly think I would have filed for divorce. It would have been out of pain, and anger. Because of this fabulous place, I have learned so much. So much about life, about myself, about healing. And the kindness of strangers. I feel like I know everyone personally...
This place allows us to become the amazing humans we were meant to be, while healing and growing. As humans, we will fall, we will revisit anger, hurt and pain. But that's what makes us human.
I'm making the world's best lemonade out of the cruddiest lemons. As humans we can do amazing things!