Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Phoenix on June 11, 2012, 02:39:24 PM
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Hi All,
I have been mulling this over for awhile now, trying to figure out how to connect interested teens who have a parent in MLC. Being a LBT (left behind Teen) is isolating for D15 as she is experiencing something her friends don't understand and can't really relate to.
I have seen a number of posts recently about teens who are really going through a tough time with all of this. I know my D would love to connect with other teens and be able to support each other as we LBSs have been able to do on this forum.
How might we manage something like this? If a forum type situation doesn't work, perhaps interested teens could create anonymous email addresses and exchange them??? I'm just thinking and trying to figure out how this might work without adult supervision (or maybe there is monitoring and mentoring??), risking teens telling their MLC parent and having them then "pose" as a teen to gain access to the discussion, etc.
Maybe it's too difficult or risky, to ripe for liability and concern, but the teen years are tough all by themselves let alone in the midst of MLC and it's really hard for our teens not to have the kind of support that Hero's Spouse offers for the LBS.
Just brainstorming some ideas and looking for your input, thoughts, suggestions, pros and cons, etc.
Nothing may come of it, but it's been on my mind long enough that it was time to release it to the universe and see what happens. :)
Warmly,
Phoenix
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That's a great idea, Phoenix. I hope something results from it because the teenage years are hard enough - it would be great if they had a place to get the help and support they need.
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Hi Phoenix, I second the motion, I believe my sons would benefit with a forum for teen/young adults.... Sometimes
they have such a hard time talking to me about it, and I think they would understand better coming from people
their own age...And sharing their stories, they could possibly get a better grip on this VERY TRYING journey, we all call MLC....
ALL IN FAVOR
Truly :)
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If it could be done...I don't know.
It's very difficult to assess risk /reward of an electronic forum.
As adults we know the net has a memory, that we are traceable, that privacy is an illusion.
Our kids...sigh. Not much of a clue.
I agree they need support through this. I agree a forum of their peers could help. I just don't know how you'd keep out the trolls, or potential conflict/bullying/personal abuse that could happen.
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If it could be done...I don't know.
It's very difficult to assess risk /reward of an electronic forum.
As adults we know the net has a memory, that we are traceable, that privacy is an illusion.
As much as I think this is such a great idea.
I believe Jay is right about the privacy issues.
That would be a huge obstacle.
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If it could be done...I don't know.
It's very difficult to assess risk /reward of an electronic forum.
As adults we know the net has a memory, that we are traceable, that privacy is an illusion.
As much as I think this is such a great idea.
I believe Jay is right about the privacy issues.
That would be a huge obstacle.
Agreed. That's why I didn't mention it sooner. There likely is not a way to manage a forum, but perhaps there is a way that anonymous emails addresses could be exchanged via parent forum members whose teens are interested in a sort of "pen pal." Again, I'm just thinking out loud (or rather on the forum) as I find it disheartening that there is little support for these young people at such a critical time and with such a difficult issue. Counseling, and good parenting are terrific, but we all know how much it has meant to not feel alone. Teens already feel awkward and different without this madness. I just wish there was a safe and appropriate way to connect them with peers so they too could experience the kind of support we all get and know that they are not alone. But alas, I knew there might not be a way for it to go beyond wishful thinking.
Best all,
Phoenix
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Hi there Phoenix
Nice idea - I know you've mentioned this before. I do wonder how difficult it would be to oversee?
I find it disheartening that there is little support for these young people at such a critical time and with such a difficult issue. Counseling, and good parenting are terrific, but we all know how much it has meant to not feel alone. Teens already feel awkward and different without this madness. I just wish there was a safe and appropriate way to connect them with peers so they too could experience the kind of support we all get and know that they are not alone.
I agree - how alone our children must feel. It is bad enough for us, even though we have this wonderful forum.
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Phoenix
I believe there is a lot to be gained from openly sharing feelings and experiences from this situation, it has helped me to accept and move forward a little. It has broken my heart over the last two years to see my Ds struggle with the same sense of disbelief and abandonment and now real trust issues are emerging. My Ds are 22 and 16.
D22 has tried to locate a forum similarly to this for children of MLC but todate was only successful in finding one specifically for children of female MLCers - I must try to get the web address. I did speak to her about going onto public forums, not so much from a privacy perspective but more because I was afraid there would be no monitoring or guidance without mature adult supervision.
I'd like to explore the concept further to see if there was a way to providing the right support and addressing the privacy concerns.
I'll drop you a PM with some thoughts.
X
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Do you think something on the alt like we have might work....alt names, private group??? My D18 would be interested. She has asked me if there is one and considered setting up one, but she is super busy starting college.