Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: JAG on June 14, 2012, 10:04:36 AM
-
As father's day fast approaches in the US I was wondering whether we should wish our husband a happy father's day or not acknowledge the day. Any thoughts?
For all you fathers who are parenting for two...have a wonderful day as this day is to celebrate men like you!
-
In my case, the fact that Father's Day is coming up makes me really sad as he's a brand new Dad. :'( I wonder... how he's feeling about it; I have no idea; I haven't heard from him.
As for my own Dad, he's the BEST Father in the world! ;D He really, really is! You're absolutely right, that Father's Day is meant to celebrate the great Dad's out there - there are many here and everywhere. Happy Father's Day!
I think you should send your H a simple Father's Day message, Jag. Very, very simple.
-
I'm struggling with this too. My H sent me a Mother's Day text but since than he's been totally distant, withholding all kinds of information and monster when I did speak with him about a few things last week. He is currently with one of my 3 kids (my 20 yr old s) in St. Croix for a week. They left today, a trip that my H hid from me and I only learned about from my kids. He sent them all texts 3 months ago about going. My 16 yr old said no, my 21 yr d is working so she is not around. When I asked my H about the trip last week and why it was a secret he said "it wasn't really meant to be a secret" ??? Anyway, I have chosen in my interactions with my H since he left in Dec. to be kind, and take the high road, but I am just not feeling it right now about a Father's Day text. He has left everything to me to do regarding the kids responsibilities but maybe I will feel differently on Sunday.
-
No kids other than the four-legged kind, so I get an out on this one with the H. BUT...on Mother's Day he brought his mom by to see me, so who knows, maybe he'll bring his dad by this weekend, too! LOL
Other than that, I'm just gonna indulge my own daddy. He has been my rock and my best friend through all of this, helping me pave the way for my own future whether it includes H or not, but always praying for H's return to sanity island. I got him a book (Joel Osteen's "Every Day a Friday") and a DVD ("The Watchmen") that I think he'll dig, and I'm going to make us some lemon cupcakes (my grandpa would have liked those, and I feel him in the spirit rooting us on!). This time last year when I was in full on freakout crisis mode, I don't even think I wished him a happy father's day since I hated him so much and blamed him for all of my problems.
A funny aside: the last time I baked, for my dad's birthday, my H was with the OW, and he got SO MAD. She'd driven in 10 hours to see him, but he regretted not getting pastries instead. ;D Her cookies must not be all that. HA!
-
My H had our 2 youngest boys on Mothers Day and made no attempt whatsoever to acknowledge it,but I have fantastic older children who made my day really special...........Whatever they decide to do with regard to their Father is their choice but as far as my younger ones go they are too young to do anything themselves and have not asked me to do anything so as far as I am concerned my H will reap what he sows.
Happy Fathers Day to all you Fathers who are LBS's
-
I plan on baking up something for my Dad too, Ready2. :D I can't afford much but my Dad LOVES to get and open gifts, like a kid, so I feel bad I won't be getting him a 'present' but I'm hoping I can win with my favorite oatmeal, chocolate chip, golden raisin cookies... maybe... baking ingredients are expensive, too. ::)
-
Ooh, yummy! I'm gonna cheat and do a mix I got for $.99! I'm all about the budget, too. I've found that the older we all get, food and fun trumps presents for any occasion. :)
-
My exH has never acknowledged my birthday or Mothers Day since he left - that's cool.
I have given my children a £30 budget for birthday and Fathers day and they have spent it as they wished on their Dad. We have just wrapped up an apron, a big box of 'flump' banana sweets, a 'Superman' car air freshener, and a Terry's chocolate orange!!
I don't want to teach my 2 children that two wrongs make a right and I also didn't want them to be embarrassed at their dad's at the weekend. I choose to do the right thing. I am sure it'll reap dividends for me and my children in the long run.
It is my exH's first wedding anniversary on Sunday also - I asked my 2 children if they wished to buy him and his wife an anniversary card and they both said 'er no Mum, WHY would we want to do that??'
Enough said then!!
-
I can afford the ingredients for... One cookie, actually. ::) I am so broke.
Moving, double whammy for you then with the wedding anniversary. So sorry. Official bomb drop for me was June 22, 2009 so it will be 3 years. Something like a double whammy, too. Not fun!
-
Hmmm....... This is a hard one for me !!! He never acknowledged Mother's Day even though H was back home that day.
H text me today and said you and D have plans this weekend right ? Me: Yes, H: So that means Father's Day too ? Me: Yes, Even if you were still here I figured you would be with OW so I made plans for the weekend !!! H: Ok. That was the end of the conversation !
I'm sure D will want to get him something but trust me it will be VERY SMALL and it will be from D not ME !!!
I still haven't decided if I will wish him a Happy Father's Day or not ! Very doubtful at this point :-\ :-\ :-\
-
For all you fathers who are parenting for two...have a wonderful day as this day is to celebrate men like you!
I'll second that - plus a big pat on the back to those of us who are mothers and picking up the slack for these MLC fathers who are not parenting at all.
We have Father's Day later on in the year. I always help the boys to buy something for their Dad, and they take him out for lunch, but we have a real clinger here, who is still behaving financially, so it is tokenism really. As he is not parenting at all, it really annoys the boys, but I do encourage them to do something.
I guess each situation is different.