Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Thundarr on August 22, 2012, 07:29:28 AM
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http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/08/22/startling-infidelity-numbers-does-happily-ever-after-exist/?intcmp=features
I found it interesting that the majority of people who were surveyed (take in mind this isn't exactly a Kinsey-level of scientific data collection here) not only valued monogamy but EXPECTED it but also a large percentage admitted to either cheating or being cheated on. It is heartening that so many in today's times still believe in the concept of being partners for life but it's not broken down between age groups so we don't know how they skewed.
I think they should poll LBSers about how many believe in partnering for life!!
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Thundarr, to me the Kinsey level of scientifical data is compromised because he manoeuvred is subjects to obtain the data we was looking for. My friend who is a psychiatrist and many of his fellow colleagues have the same view about Kinsey.
Now, as for Monogamy being dead. It is as dead, or alive, as it was centuries ago. In past centuries people did not marry for romantic love so, escapades, especially from the man, were seen as natural.
People believe in partners for live (think even MClers do) yet, believing one thing and sticking to it are two different things. Also, partner for life does not automatically equal being always faithful to that partner or to not have another sexual partner while you are married. You know that Thundarr, you’ve had your little affair all those years ago.
I think humans are monogamous for the most part but many humans have, once, or twice, strayed. If humans were not mostly monogamous we had not survived the pre-historic times. The conditions/society of those times did not allow for such kind of things.
However if you do an anthropologic research you will find that the uses and ways of people differ in time and geography so it is not possible to say that humans are 100% monogamous or that they are not monogamous at all.
LBS may believe in a partner for live but certainly they no longer believe they were always going to be the only sexual partner of their spouse. In the future they may again be, but there was a time when their spouse had someone else. Sometimes for years on end. Anyway, like Stayed I think there is more then one person for each of us. That is different from infidelity, of course.
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Regardless of the side you take, soul mates or not, relationships take work and it is important to be prepared to deal with the ebbs and flows.
So before giving up on monogamy entirely, ask yourself: Am I doing all the heavy lifting necessary to make this work?
So, despite the high numbers professing a commitment to monogamy, around 40-50% admit to cheating or being cheated on.
Seems there's a distinct lack of maturity out there.
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I think there's more to it than a lack of maturity, especially when it comes to being cheated on. This whole site is dedicated to one such example.
Unless you're talking about how some people respond when they learn that their spouses have been unfaithful...