Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Broken Hearted on August 15, 2010, 06:18:13 AM
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Hi everyone
One of the things that has struck me very forcefully when reading everyone's posts is the amount of times we all seem to have dreams about our partners. I thought perhaps when someone has a dream they could post it here and could have it explained - if anyone is into 'dream meanings'.
Mine is always quite simple: I dream I am making love with my H but although I can see his body I can't see his face, but the one last night was even stranger - I was trying to kiss him, but he kept pursing his lips and turning away to one side (rather like a child would when he doesn't want to kiss grandmother). I remember crying in this dream too.
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I'll be first! I posted this on my thread but will post it here too! I don't have many dreams of H at all, I even "tried" to continue this dream last night and nothing happened. So, I think it is important to write them down!
...I am not sure if it was 2 dreams, or 1, 2 part one. H woke us at 6am and said he was here with some guys to move stuff out of the garage and did I want to come watch what they took...then in part 2...we must have been back together as we were going thru some junk and he handed me this box and told me to check and make sure nothing was in there, I looked in and there was a car registration, in my name for a green mustang. He had apparenlty bought me a vehicle to make up for his A I guess. So, he carries me to see it and we get there and it is not a green mustang, it is a baby blue something...don't know my cars that well but it is beautiful and I love it. Weird! I interpret that it means that he would still be deceiving me!!!!
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I have two types that involve my wife: one where things are normal (she comes home happy to see me, hugs and kisses, etc.) and the occasional one where I am apparently putting my life back together after a divorce.
I'm not sure which one hurts more.
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My dreams of my H lately have been very "normal" - doing family things, going places together, etc. Last night we were on a family vacation together. They seem to be increasing in number, or may I just didn't really pay attention as much before.
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I'll be first! I posted this on my thread but will post it here too! I don't have many dreams of H at all, I even "tried" to continue this dream last night and nothing happened. So, I think it is important to write them down!
...I am not sure if it was 2 dreams, or 1, 2 part one. H woke us at 6am and said he was here with some guys to move stuff out of the garage and did I want to come watch what they took...then in part 2...we must have been back together as we were going thru some junk and he handed me this box and told me to check and make sure nothing was in there, I looked in and there was a car registration, in my name for a green mustang. He had apparenlty bought me a vehicle to make up for his A I guess. So, he carries me to see it and we get there and it is not a green mustang, it is a baby blue something...don't know my cars that well but it is beautiful and I love it. Weird! I interpret that it means that he would still be deceiving me!!!!
A good friend of mine interpreted my dream in this way-
"6 am represents the dawn of a new day,
Men are there to move out the old and you're to watch to make sure those things that you want, stay. H wants you to watch to prove that what you want is important to him.
The gift of the car represents his remorse for the A.
Picking you up and carrying you to go look at it represents his fear that if he doesn't hold on to you may just walk away.
The car being a green mustang represents the jealousy that you have felt, and then you let it go and it changes.
The other car being blue represents calmness.
The car turning into an ever better car represents that your new life with your H will be better than you ever expected. After all you have a new car in which to make that journey together. Less chance of breakdowns along the way."
My friend does not have a dream analyzing book but this is how she came up with her interpretation....she said,
"You had distinct details you remembered in that dream such as the time, colors, being carried, gift that I think are significant.
Another thing I was thinking about being carried was that I'm always afraid that when I'm picked up that person will drop me or fall with me. It's a trust thing. Maybe your H was saying, trust me, I won't let you down again???"
My friend put a disclaimer on her version to take it FWIW. I don't believe in crystal balls but I like the positive spin on it!
Curious as to what others come up with!
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I figured I'll chime in for a male perspective. My wife and I have been seperated since Nov.'09. From December of that year to late June of this year, I dreamed about her every single night. In these dreams we had always reconciled and we happy and doing the things we normally do.
At the end of June, for about 2 weeks, the dreams turned very dark, she would tell me she couldn't/wouldn't be faithful. We argued and I had no peace in these dreams about her during this time. After dealing with this for two weeks, I starting binding Satan from my dreams and the bad dreams immediately stopped and went back to dreams of us being happy and reconciled. Difference now is I don't dream about her like I did orginally.
The only thing I think is different is that lately I have learned to drop the rope and have truly turned her over to Christ.
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A different type of dream. OWs mother used to be a good friend of mine. She seems to support her D, and said everything was my fault for having such a terrible R with H, so of course he would lie to me. She's very concerned to save face in this small town. Nevertheless, I think that behind the scenes she's put trying to put pressure on her D.
I dreamt that I saw OWs mother, and she ignored me, so I called out to her, held her arms gently, and said "it's not your fault, and it's not mine. I know this is hurting you too, and you're still my friend." And I hugged her, and she cried.
I forgave her in my dream, and I awoke with no further feeling of animosity towards her.
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I do not typically remember my dreams, but I woke up this morning and did remember one. It was very full of symbolism. (I think it might have been two dreams)
I was briefly walking in an area near the house I grew up in. One house had been partially painted bright yellow. On this particular street one can go straight or turn right. I don't know which direction I choose. Then I was in our home, but it wasn't our home. My H and S were making pancakes. They were saving some for our D. There were two plates with two neatly stacked pancakes on each plate. She was still sleeping. We were supposed to pick up two puppies from a shelter for a friend. We were also considering getting one for ourselves. (we don't have a pet due to H's allergies) I went into the bathroom to do something or other. I could hear H and S talking in low voices in the other room. They both came into the bathroom. I tried to hug H, but he would not hug me back. They wanted to convince me to get two puppies for us so that our puppy would have a friend and not be alone. I left the room and started to look up the stairs. I was considering the two puppies. Lots of pairs in the dream.
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I don't have a lot of dreams, but I have had some beautiful dreams of reconciliation, apologies, and lots of tears for the pain my H has caused.
The one dream that stands out so much to me was a few months ago. I was walking down this long, long hallway. I could see a faint light in the distance. As I got closer I could tell that it was a cellphone. When I picked the cellphone up, it had a blinking text message that said,
"Hold on, Hold on, Hold on" over and over again.
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Stillhere...all the pairs in your dream is interesting!
Still...GOOSEBUMPS!!!!
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I'm going to write this down before I forget it!
Dreamt that H and I made love and he was concerned that the OW would find out - I remember feeling superior to her then. Then I found out that he had just taken a train and left..... I managed to get on the train and he was sitting there with one of our joint friends (friend looked embarrassed about being with H) and a woman...... H saw me looking at her and said 'no, she's not my OW'...... I got the impression that he was laughing at me.
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My dream last night was that my H and I were sitting with a mutual friend. The friend asked my H what his goals were for his life. He listed many professional goals, remodeling goals, personal goals, and then he said, "Oh, and that me and Still get our marriage on track."
His statement actually woke me up from my sleep because it was so clearly his voice. The thing that was very odd about it was I remember in the dream thinking that those couldn't be his own words because the English was improper. My H is a college professor and never uses improper grammar. Is that weird?
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His voice, but not his words?
The words you want to hear, then? But they are not coming from him?
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I would say my dream is more of a nightmare coz that is how i feel everytime i have it and wake up shocked,sick and scared like a nightmare. Basically i dream about H having sex with the OW i dont think i am standing there watching it i can just see it happening.
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His voice, but not his words?
The words you want to hear, then? But they are not coming from him?
Mermaid,
That didn't occur to me, but it makes perfect sense.
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They are not his words yet, but they can be. The mind, including our dreams is the battlefield. Our fight is not physical, looks physical, feels physical, but it's spiritual. How else can spouses all over the world almost say and do the same thing during thus MLC, yet most of these WAS knew nothing if MLC prior.
Our dreams, IMHO, are used by both God and Satan. God is using them to encourage us to continue our stand, cause whether you will admit it or not, our stand is based on Gods desire for our family. Satan in turn uses our dreams to encourage us to give up, to suffer and be in anguish.
Some may feel this is not the platform for such a spiritual discussion. My response to that is in the 9 months that my W and I have been seperated, I have seen and heard so much in my marriage and the marriages all over the world to come to no other conclusion. I feel compelled to share the truth, to plant the seed and leave the rest to GOD.
If you find my beliefs objectionable, are you willing to consider them to save your marriage, to save your family???
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Godspromises,
I don't find your words objectionable. I have always felt this is a spiritual battle. My H is Christian and always placed those values above all else. I do believe this is an attack on our marriage and it must be fought spiritually.
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This is how I have felt too and why I feel it is so important to cover my H in prayer. I can see the battle very clearly. My H's Christian beliefs and values were also very important to him prior to MLC.
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Very strange dream last night:
My H and I were out to dinner with a group of friends. I looked over at him and noticed he was wearing his wedding band (something he took off more than a year ago), but on his right hand. I reached over and put my hand on his. He said, "I have to wear it on my right hand because I lost too much weight in my left." Then, he put his arm around me and gave me the warmest hug.
We ate dinner and then went for a monster truck ride. I have never even seen a monster truck up close. There was a large group of us in the truck and the driver (a giggling teen) was taking it too fast. The truck flipped over and over. I remember hearing the scraping metal on concrete and just praying that my children were okay. My body was hitting something over and over, but I could only see, not feel anything. Then, the vehicle came to a rest on its roof. The radio immediately began reporting the names of all those that perished in the crash. I had this sense of relief as I didn't personally know any of the people. Then, they said that there was one more fatality. They then said my h's name. I looked up to the sky and there were all these stealth bombers flying. One landed on the crash site and I woke up. Very weird!
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I went and dug up this thread; I had yet another dream with H in it the other night and was thinking about dreams in general.
My SIL (brother's wife) had a reasonable interpretation of dreams -- she said that it's how you yourself see things, how your own thoughts work. That makes sense when you think about people who find things they have lost after a dream; it's those thoughts that were in there coming out.
All the dreams that I've had about my H have been ones of eventual reconciliation. I didn't describe them in detail to SIL, but said that I had one that seemed to be him saying "I'll get there, but in my own way"; she said that it was because that was what I had decided (for lack of a better word right now) was the case.
She is a doctor, and also has some religious faith, although isn't the kind that prays daily. Her view is that dreams don't come from outside, they aren't a sign from anywhere, they are how we see things. She didn't quite say wishful thinking, but it was definitely our own goals rather than someone elses.
It makes sense if it means that they can help us clarify our own thoughts, i.e. in my case it would be that I am not ready to stop standing. I still see reconciliation as the goal. That doesn't mean that it will happen that way, but it does mean that it is still what I want.
I've been writing down those dreams in a notebook, as you know dreams slip away quickly. I then do forget them; it is interesting to go back and read what was there.
The dream I had the other night was the longest one with H in it that I'd had, and was yet again one of reconciliation -- reading it over I can see where it followed on from our conversation on Saturday.
When we truly move on as if they're not coming back, do these stop?
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Odd dream last night....
I woke straight out of it. I was being questioned as to why the word "hymn" has a silent "N", but when you say "hymnal" the "N" is clearly pronounced. In my dream, I had no answer, but it woke me up about 3:00 a.m.
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Interesting, Still... I'm not a whizz at dream interpretation; HB is the one to ask....
I don't have a "gift" for interpreting dreams, but it's something I might read up on at some point. As I learn things it is interesting to go back to what I've written and see if anything fits.
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I'm not one that typically remembers my dreams, but this one woke me up way too early. It's the first one I recall having about the OW even though it was not about the OW I know about but a combination of a former teacher at my children's school and Nicole Kidman.
It was Christmas Eve. My family was staying in a hotel suite near my hometown and yet it was more like the last town in which we lived. There was some snow, very light, which was odd because usually there is quite a bit of snow by that time in my hometown.
H and our S left earlier to go do something or other. D was not there for some reason. Instead of dressing up I wore a track suit. I think I may have been sick. My parents kept calling me to come over and eventually came to the hotel. They wanted me to eat caramel corn, but I refused it.
I left to go meet with H and S at the house of the OW's parents. It was on a main road in my hometown. I went in. The parents were very cold to me although I was charming and said what a good teacher their daughter was. My H, one of my sisters and a BIL arrived, as did the OW.
She came into the smallish house, making an entrance. I went from her parents to the door to introduce myself. Her makeup was odd. The two-thirds of her face were geisha like. Her eyes were heavily made up with some strange eyeliner at the outer corners. The lower half was Fred Flintstone-like but in an orangish color. She wore all black. As I introduced myself she pulled back and would not shake my hand. There was a great look of disdain on her face. I started to slap her face, but instead I just touched it.
H was a bit behind me. He looked horrible and panic stricken.
Yes, this was an odd one. I just needed to write it down.
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I'm thankful that this subject was back on the main page as i intended to respond to Still's dream months ago when she posted it.
Still, I read your post back in august and had an immediate response, but didn't respond because I thought I was operating in an area that I was not called to. Events have happened since then that have confirmed I am where I'm suppose to be.When things in my marriage fell apart, I thought it was all about my wife getting it together. I was so wrong, cause God has revealed so much about me and His plans for me that I now see our separation as one of the best things that could have happened cause God had tried other less painful ways to get my attention without any success.
Now, I'm living my life His way and I know all will work out.
Now for your dream, the ring on the wrong hand represents your H wrong thinking, which is a theme of this dream. The hug he gave you was to comfort you not to worry during this season.
The monster truck ride represents the journey you're on now.The other people in the truck represents other couples going through this at the same time as you and your H.The scraping metal sounds you "hear"represents the damage to your marriage that you are going to "hear about", but not see.The something that your body kept hitting was the hand of God, on the scence to protect you and your feelings. You can see whats going on, but don;t feel anything that lasts.
When the truck stops, its on its roof, upside down, thats significant.
The death of your H is a spiritual not physical. The bombs from the stealth bomber represents events coming from heaven. God is not sending the bombs, but He will allow them to come to blow things up.Remember, at the end of the truck ride, the truck was upside down.
Still, God is saying, I'm with you, I'll protect you, but because your H has allowed his thinking to be turned upside down, things need to be blown up to get corrected. You will hear alot about what he's doing but I've covered your heart and will not allow this damage to be permanent.I have plans for your H in my kingdom, so don't worry, I'm in control.
Thats it, I pray that gave you clarification as the Lord gave it to me.
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Had to stop by...cuz I had a pretty vivid dream last night and when I saw this post straight away at top...I had to share....
Been dealing with loads of grief lately....started the book by Anderson last night..
Had a dream that my H pulled up in front of the house...and we were both wearing "hoodie" sweatshirts..wierd I know...anywho...we locked eyes through my big picture window..and there was this knowing between us that I felt...so I mouthed to him "what's going on"....he communicated to me in some way that he wanted to come in....I felt very compassionate and open in the dream so I let him in by the hand and had him sit on the floor with me...I hugged him and touched his face...don't know if there was a kiss or not..but we were just there in our hoodie sweatshirts..BIZARRO..but the biggest impression are those silly sweatshirts...and his old face too...I saw the old him shining through him...Plus I was laying on the bed with my daughter (2yrs) the other day...and I told her I loved her...she usually says I love you too! but she said "Dada loves you....daddy loves you too.."...Weird..cuz she never says that..
I took a dream class last year and they taught us how to analyze dreams...which can really only be done by the dreamer..because of each persons individual beliefs and ideas about symbolism..I hope to share how I learned to do it...I'll be back soon. The woman who taught it explained that it is our unconscious mind bringing things to conscieness...things that have to be brought to light and healed...some dreams are related to our shadow and some not...so interesting...really
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Last night I dreamt that there was a huge wall of cereal packets lined up in front of me. I threw something at it with all my might and a hole appeared in the middle of them all. Don't know why they didn't just collapse!
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Godspromises,
Wow, what clarity you provided to me. I had to go back and re-read the thread because I couldn't even remember all the details.
I do believe this is absolutely a spiritual battle for my H. He was a Christian when we met, wanted to establish a church before we were married, and we both felt strongly about raising our children with strong values. He has always been the voice of reason of what the right decisions were. He basically mentored me.
Now, he is completely lost. He attends church and Bible study pretty regularly, but went from an active leadership role, to one of very minimal contribution. He doesn't stay for luncheons or go to adult Sunday school. He is a shadow of the person he once was.
I know this ways heavily on him as he told me early in his crisis that he knows what he is expected to do, but feels pulled by all the opportunities free will provides. (Yes, strange thoughts).
Anyway, thank you for taking the time to give me your input.
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Last night I dreamt I had come back from our holiday and H was here cutting the lawn. Wishful thinking I think!! I'd pass out on the spot if it happened ;)
And how strange I should even dream about him (I haven't in months), and in a positive light .... after the day I had yesterday.
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For the first time this morning I woke up and can remember my dream.
In this dream I was at a party at my parents house. They have both been dead for many years and my sister and her family live there now. I can't remember seeing any of them there, nor anyone else I recognised except for my husband. He was stood with a group of people talking and laughing. I just seemed to be stood on the outside of it all watching. He caught my eye and he smiled at me. I can remember thinking I didn't want to be there and said I felt ill.
The next thing I am sat on the roof of our very tall Victorian house!!! It has a sloping tiled roof and it was laid out with cushions and pillows. My H climbed up and sat next to me, and said he would not pursue me again for a couple of weeks until I was ready. I then began to slide off the roof and landed gently on the floor. He hugged me and then the girls came running over. I put up my hand to wave them away and they backed off smiling. He then said something else to me which was very nice, but that bit has faded and I can't remember what he said.
I have no idea if it means anything at all, maybe someone else does.
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I haven't had any really significant dreams since the BD at least none I can remember but H was having a reoccuring one that was happening for more than two years ago about being chased by a bear.
He is a big man 6"4" 250 lbs so anything he cannot match physically terrifies him. He said he would try everything-climb trees and jump out of them run through buildings barracade doors, anything he could do to get away from this charging bear.
I may have looked up the meaning then but I still wouldn't have a clue it had anything to do with his MLC. One interpretation I found below:
To dream about being attacked by a bear, suggests boldness and mounting barriers in your way and possibly competitiveness. You could possibly be placed in a dangerous situation. Bears represent the cycle of life. This could signify a moment in your life that requires self-analysis and deep thought. This dream could also be an acronym of 'bare,' indicating that you might have to 'bare your soul' and reveal yourself openly.
Sort of fits now...
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Well, I finally had a dream of him.
I was at my grandmothers and she needed to be taken out of the house (she has passed many years ago). My bil pick her up and put her in the car and took off with my sister. I got into another car, this car was driven by no one, and In the car I called my sister. I was telling her how the old H would have took charge and put grandmother in the car like her H did. And how the car was being driven by no one at 80 mph and weaving between cars to get me to where I need to go, which end up at the hospital. I wasn't scared at all, though it was cool. I get to the hospital and his there talking to my sister and her H, I was upset, I did not want them to be his friends. When he left, I told them that, and when to find him to tell him, my sister is off limits. I saw him at a door to the outside and made a gester that I wanted to speak to him, he when outside. I followed and he disappeared. He was fat, in my dream and I though how could not find such a fat guy.
That night, I ask God to tell me if he was every coming home. And I think he said No. He is driving the car and will take me where I need to go, but my H has vanished. I love the fat part through.
Any other takes on this dream, I'd love to hear.
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And how the car was being driven by no one at 80 mph and weaving between cars to get me to where I need to go,
I wasn't scared at all,
Ok, I have no idea about dream interpretation but this resonates...it's all out of our control but someone (I'd say God) is doing the driving and we need not be afraid. Interesting where we go to in our subconscious. I hope the dream did not make you scared.....dreams help us to sort out the things that are troubling us and is the deepest state of sleep.
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I was not scared at all though the no driver thing was quite fun. It is interesting where we go to in our subconscious.
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I had a beautiful dream last night....
I was working on a ladder to fix something in the house. My H just came over and put his arms around me. He held me close and so tight. He said nothing. He just kept holding me. I could feel his warmth and the smell of soap....
In the dream, I was thinking....is this a dream?
....then I woke up.
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That is a lovely dream, Still. Really.
I just remembered that I had one, or a snippet of one, last night, where my H was wearing his wedding ring again.... it just came to me in a flash again. I can only remember that snippet, that I was fingering it.... I don't remember the context.
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That is very nice, T&L.
I often think that God must give us these visions so that we keep on our path. In all of this time, I have only had one dream where my H was in the process of leaving me. With all the anxiety MLC causes, you would think we would have horrific dreams.....maybe some do. I never have.
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My 2cents' worth on dreams -- I am not skilled in interpreting them, btw...
I think they help us crystallise our own thinking; show us some clarity on what is right now, what we really want. They can show us possible futures; I do think they come from within us rather than without. So a dream that I had where my H basically said "I'll get there, but in my own way", is my own take on the situation rather than a prophecy.
The wedding ring bit? Well, as I don't remember the context it's hard to say, but I'm with you in that things like that help keep us on our path. It's most likely just telling me what I really want....
I've not had horrific dreams, either.
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Freaked myself out this morning.
Woke up dreaming of H trying to reach out to me, to make his way back and OW pulling him in the opposite direction.
I have not had a dream this vivid before.
Strange thing was I couldn't make out OW's face, it was all blurred.
I remember trying to see it more clearly but it just seemed to get more blurry.
Even though i know what she looks like.
Found it strange.
I just wanted to shout out - Let him go you silly B*tch, LOL
HUGS
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Okay, there must be something wrong with me. The last dream I had about my H I started hitting him with a hair brush and couldn't stop. How do you interpet that ?
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Wishful thinking!
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Wow I guess I shouldn't go back to sleep once I wake up I haven't had a bad dream since this mess started.
My girls were a little smaller than they are now in the dream and we were in a really run down section of some city. I was meeting ExH there for some kind of appt.
I get in the room and there's two other guys sitting there, more like advisors, not lawyers and everything my exh said they were giving justification to. And he was there and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO arrogant
He was talking about one time how he was on the back property of our house and how he had sex with some girl that had been hiking through. The guys were like "Alright! Good job!!"
I took him face in my hands and told him how much I hated him. He told me the same and kind of rolled his eyes.
I told him to say goodbye to his children as he would never be seeing them again and he didn't really listen. As I left he was trying to walk down the street and talk to me and I told him I no longer will be talking to him anymore and he shrugged his shoulders and walked ahead of the girls and I.
As I was walking the sidewalk turned into a rundown parapet and I stood on the edge with the gilrs looking over a rusty railing and knew I had to turn around because I could feel it moving. Then I woke up
Not sure what triggered this as the closing is today on ow house and with any luck she'll get all her crap out by the weekend and then everyone can start to heal.
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i used to dream of my h finally admitting that he was in love with someone else - this was all before BD and separation. since we separated 3 months ago, i hadn't had one dream about him until last week. i dreamt that he came through the front door very early one morning with his bag and a huge bouquet of flowers....but wearing that dumb ball cap backwards on his head - which, i think, pretty much sums up where we are at...nice idea but most definitely not ready yet!
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I'm so glad someone posted about dreams today because I was awoken this morning by a doozy!!
I had a dream that my H told me that him and his OW wanted to take our D to Paris for graduation. She became unglued and tried to stab him with a knife (very scary !!). We were all in the bathroom and I tried to get between him and her and he stumbled and fell all the way into the toilet and went down into the sewer. I rushed out back to see if he was okay and saw him coming out of the sewer drain. I got scared and got in my car and drove off.
Okay all you dream analyists what do you think it means that my H was flushed down a toilet ? Maybe a little wishful thinking on my part !!
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JKM -- I think I would love to have a dream where he was flushed down the toilet. It is quite funny. I'm not good a dream analyzing but I'd go with you think he is a turd. Sorry couldn't help myself, please forgive me for that one.
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I'm not good a dream analyzing but I'd go with you think he is a turd.
*snort*
yup - i think it's pretty clear!! ;D
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Hey gals, thanks for the laugh I sure needed that !! Yup he's a big turd. I guess I just wish that I could flush the whole darn nightmare down the toilet. But unfortunately I'll get is backed up sludge !!
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Strange dream last night.
I was looking through a photo album. There were all these pictures of my kids and my H. Many of all of us together. The album was organized by date. When I hit 2008 (when MLC began) there were no more pictures. In the dream I felt really saddened that my life seemed to stop at that point. I set the album down and noticed there were some pictures in the back. The back of the album seemed to pick up after this particular part of my life. There were pictures of my children, but they were much older than they are. The most significant part was that they were all smiling in the pictures.
Oddly, mixed in with my pictures were pictures of Voyager from the Alt site. I think that was just a fluke as I don't think V is joining my family.
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Glad this thread came up again..
I've had very few dreams ; the one last night was strange.
I was in some house somewhere but I know I was a drive away from where I wanted to be and I had an urgency to get to ExH for some reason and it was pouring rain outside..
I was taking care of whatever I needed to in this house..lots of nice old items but dated like from a long time ago.
I looked up rain as I have never had a dream with rain in it before:
To see and hear rain falling, symbolizes forgiveness and grace.
Falling rain is also a metaphor for tears, crying and sadness.
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looked up rain as I have never had a dream with rain in it before:
To see and hear rain falling, symbolizes forgiveness and grace.
Falling rain is also a metaphor for tears, crying and sadness.
Interesting, ITFTLH.
What does your book say about "Voyager" in your dreams?
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Voyager- let's see.....it says.
Is a strong formidable woman who when angry will crown herself with a viking helmet and kick butt.
If you dream of this person wearing this item AVOID HER AT ALL COSTS IN REALITY. ;)
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Just woke up from a strange dream..
Kind of a disjointed foggy kind of thing.
I was in a room something like a living room talking to someone I did not know. The converstion was odd. The person was female but not right..like maybe mildly retatred but more like overly or neccessarily medicated.
I was telling her she acted much better that she did the last time I saw her ( I never had seen this person before this in a dream or in real life) She was a polite but a very negative person.
At one point I confided in her that I never thought ExH would have ever cheated on me and I started to cry and her reply was "He always has"
I got up off the chair I sat on and went into the kitchen. There was food all over in differnt states of being prepared. Like a beef soup and some cooked chicken that had been sprinled with parsley or something. Just a lot of food everywhere.
The kitchen was a farmhouse style; not modern at all. I thought maybe I would help whomever started preparing the food but found myself unable to concenterte enough on what food to start to make and was overwhemed by all of it; then I woke up.
Bits and pieces for interpertation below:
Stranger
To see a stranger in your dream, signifies a part of yourself that is repressed and hidden. Alternatively, it symbolizes the archetypal dream helper who is offering you insight and advice
Crying
To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In your daily lives, you tend to ignore, deny, or repress your feelings. But in your dream state, your defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of those feelings that you have repressed during the day.
Kitchen
To see a kitchen in your dream, signifies your need for warmth, spiritual nourishment and healing. It may also be symbolic of the nurturing mother or the way that you are for your loved ones. Alternatively the kitchen, represents a transformation. Or perhaps the dream could be telling you that if "you can't stand the heat, then you need to get out of the kitchen". You need to abort your plans
Food
To see food in your dream, represents physical and emotional nourishment and energies.
OK enough of that..I'm going back to bed ::)
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Well I've thought about this dream..and this person I spoke to is right. ExH has always cheated on me- emotionally.
But I have also.
Never letting each other know how we really felt about things as they happened to afraid to express any emotion other than anger.
This man is not predisposed to cheating on me physically-I know that much. But that's the first thing I thought of when the word "cheat" comes to mind. And it was what I was refering to when I spoke to this person.
The rest of the interpretations I can see very clearly.
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Looking back on some of these old posts I took the time to look some of the meanings up..of course the turd one was funny so I started there:
Stab
To dream that you stab someone, indicates your fear of betrayal and your untrusting nature. You are being overly defensive. ( there was nothing about watching someone get stabbed)
Bathroom
To dream that you are in the bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, a bathroom symbolizes purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.
Sewer
To see a sewer in your dream, signifies putrid conditions and old relationships. Something needs to be cleaned up or immediately changed. You need to let go of your outdated ideas and beliefs.
To see a sewer pipe in your dream, represents the flow of unconscious material being suppressed deeper and deeper. You need to address these issues before it overflows
And I didn't come up with anything for turd (unfortunately) there was some info about feces but it didn't really fit-
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This morning my alarm woke me from a dream I really wish I hadn't had :o
(As most of you will know, I decided to stop Standing for my marriage some months ago. I have been at peace and I have been calm.)
In my dream, I was lying next to my H. I remember seeing our passports close by. Strange! Anyway, I knew something was wrong between us, as if we'd had a fight .............. but I didn't know what was wrong. (MLC, OW and all the rest of the sorry tale had been eliminated from my head for some reason)
H started kissing me and whispering sorry. It felt so 'right'.
So, then the alarm goes off!! I could not believe what I had dreamt. I can assure you that I have not been having ANY fond thoughts of H >:( >:( I don't ever see him now and I really am GAL. What is going on????
I am having to blot it out now and continue as I have been. I have to admit that it has unnerved me somewhat. I just don't understand it.
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Hi TTM
I don't know much about dream interpretation, but I googled dreams with the term "apology" and the first search result said the following:
A desire for peace, harmony, or reconciliation. Regret or remorse. Self-righteousness.
Making an apology can mean you feel guilty or that you owe someone an apology, or it could represent a real-life apology you've made or are thinking about.
Someone else apologizing to you can mean you feel that person feels guilty or you feel that they owe you an apology, or or it could represent a real-life apology you've received or would like to receive.
see also: feeling forgiveness being blamed blaming confronting being confronted denying
categories: Events
What Does Your Dream Mean?
About Dream Symbols
This dream dictionary gives suggested meanings of dream symbols. A dream symbol often means something different in different dreams. There is no standard meaning of a dream symbol or dream that is accurate for all dreams. Dream meaning is very subjective, and your dream symbol may mean something completely different from the meaning listed in this dream dictionary.
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Thanks S & D.
It's so strange the way my mind had obliterated all the MLC hurt and pain and in my dream I didn't even know what was wrong between us. The experience has completely got to me, it feels surreal.
I don't know if you're religious, but part of me thought God was telling me that I could get past this. (I have been telling myself that I wouldn't ever be able to get past everything, even if he had wanted to return ............. too much damage)
And I have been sure that I made the right decision to move on. This dream has absolutely thrown me. It honestly wasn't me thinking those things!! So hard to explain .............
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After S & D looked into dream interpretation, I decided to do a bit of Googling as well! I found one piece of information which may explain a bit more about where my dream came from! It said that to dream about an ex in this way perhaps means you have accepted the situation and have reconciled things in your own head. That actually makes far more sense to me.
Another interpretation said that maybe you were seeing the good bits of your past relationship and you now had belief that you could find love again in a new relationship (you just didn't have the new person there as you didn't know them yet :o)
So I feel a bit calmer now (yes calmer, not Karma ............. although some of that coming along at some point might be nice :o :o)
I'm really enjoying my life now. It's much better than the last 5 or more years. I am going out with 3 friends on Friday night and was out watching a band last Friday. I'm content :) :)
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Hi TtM,
I am glad to hear from someone who feels at peace with the past the way you seem to now. I am very much torn about standing and have been from the start. I know that H is "in crisis", but so much has been said and done that I can not see myself trusting again. I believe I can forgive (for my own sake as much as his), I know I can't forget and I am almost certain I could never trust him, unfortunately even as just friends, which creates a dilemma as we have two very young children that we need to continue to raise together.
I think I could learn to trust again, in general, but I am pretty sure I will never feel that way about him. He lied to me about the affair for months and once I found out he told me he "enjoyed lying" to me. That particular piece of information is scorched into my brain, I think, forever. And I don't know if he remembers saying it, but I will never forget how strongly he meant it at the time, he even looked pleased with himself. So...trust... isn't it needed as a foundation for a relationship?
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Does anybody know what it means when you don't dream, or don't remember them?
I went through a spell for almost 3 years where I had no dreams at all, or maybe didn't remember them.
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GBM
I think we all dream, it's just that you can't have been remembering them. I know when the doctor put me on sleeping pills, I was delighted as I went into such a deep sleep and didn't remember any dreams. You're lucky if you can manage it without the pills!
Out of interest, do you remember your dreams again now?
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Sometimes I do remember my dreams now. After going so long without dreams, , it kind of concerned me when I finally recognized it.
Probably for about a year after xh left me, I had terrible dreams and then they just stopped. I was glad for that but I also didn't have/remember any dreams of any kind. It was after about 2 years while talking to a friend about dreams when I told her that I hadn't had a dream in so long, and I wondered what it meant.
I've healed so much, and now I'm dreaming again, I just wonder if there's a correlation between the two.
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Maybe it was a self-defence mechanism and your body/mind knew it had to stop the terrible dreams.
I'm glad you have healed so much. You're sounding good :)
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Thanks TTM, I am good! :)
I thought that maybe that was an explanation but who knows? It used to make me very curious though, when I realized that I wasn't dreaming but I never went digging to try to figure out why. During that time though, I had good spells, bad spells, periods of sleeping well, not sleeping well.....still I didn't dream, or didn't remember them.
You do just get to a point where you are truly at peace. Life is not all rosy but I accept things for what they are. I even handle contacts from xh with surprising indifference now. That is my true measure because I've had many periods throughout the years where I'm doing quite well, and he could send me spinning, whether it be for minutes, or in some cases for months.
Just until recently, a text from him would get my heart racing, or a twinge in my stomach. It might have gotten me excited, or happy, and sometimes it made me angry, depending on what I was going through at the time. I used to be concerned with what or if I should reply. I don't anymore, at all. He still texts me from time to time. I find myself smiling when he does, and I just reply simply and answer his questions. I never miss an opportunity to throw a truth dart in his direction, but I do it with kindness. After the exchange is done, I smile and go about my business, and think well, this is a strange life but it's mine.....oh well!
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LOve is...
Im not sure if I can figure that one all out....but the ankle thing sounds like you feel weighed down by your ankles
the hearts meaning the love you feel maybe holding you down....idk..not liking the tattoos...might mean
you hate feeling like " love holding you down?? "
I am usually better at this...LOL
I dont remember any of my dreams anymore...I think it may be because I take sleeping pills
and sleep to heavy now...I used to have very vivd, meaning dreams...I miss them! :(
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Bumping with a couple good links on dreams and dream work:
http://www.jeremytaylor.com/pages/dreamwork.html
http://www.patriciagarfield.com/
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Tips to remember your dreams:
http://www.gdelaney.com/recall.htm
Tips to incubate a dream:
http://www.gdelaney.com/sleeponit.htm
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Thanks WP - a fascinating subject. I very rarely remember my dreams unless I'm stressed. Must start writing them down.
I have had a few very vivid dreams re my H. They are so real, it is like he is physically present. I always wake up quite startled afterwards - having felt his physical presence quite intensely. Haven't ever had anything like this before.
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For a long time H did not appear in any of my dreams, then he made appearances in ones that were painful - almost like nightmares. Recently he is in my dreams less and less and the contexts are changing - to one where I have more power than in the prevous dreams where I seemed to always be in the victim situation.
I had a funny dream the other night (I hope that it was not too inappropriate). It was like a movie where I was watching myself and also being myself at the same time (dreams can be strange that way) .I was on a ship in the middle of the ocean (I have no idea why) with a new (imagined, no one I actually know) boyfriend and we were whispering to each other (I don't know what about). Then the scene changed and we found ourselves in our cabin being intimate, when H walked into the room and his jaw dropped and he was completely shocked. I did not see him at first, but when I saw him we stopped and then H ran out of the room. I felt bad for him and thought about running after him but then decided that my loyalty was with my new boyfriend and went back to making love. I woke up at that point with a very weird feeling.
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I am sometimes amazed by intuition. I remember a point a few months before BD, where I realised that I was not able to imagine H and I in old age - it was like a mental block, I just could not picture it even though I used to imagine us as an old couple together alot.
Now I don't really know what I imagine happening as I get older...
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I had a dream where I was kicking the cr*p out of the OW and my H and they were not fighting back. When I awoke from that dream I felt SO much better about my sitch, lol!
I've had lots and lots of dreams of my H and in most of them we are coming together to kiss and make love, but it never happens! We both want to in the dream and we kiss, but something always happens where it all stops or gets interrupted somehow. My H had ED issues when we were together before he left, so perhaps this is one reason this happens in my dreams.
It amazes me that the connection I feel to my H is still so strong even after all the pain he has caused me. :'(
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I had some dreams a number of months ago but they still stick in my mind as the feeling is still awful.
H is havig a birthday and I am in amongst a group of people. He tells everyone he's going to the bar for drinks if everyone wants to join him. I go outside and look into the bar and there is H with OW. I feel so incredibly sad and shut out. It's still the way I feel about him. I'm still his wife but I am shut out of ever part of his life except for the kids.
There were a couple more with scenes like that.
Then recently I had a dream where H and I were together. I can't remember everything in detail but it felt like we were trying to reconcile. I know in the dream he had been away from us and was re-connecting with me but was struggling.
I'm 45 now and when I was nearly 19 a friend from church and school who I knew all my life, was killed in a car accident at age 19. I had dreams for many years that she faked her death and was still alive. I was happy she was alive but angry she'd deceived us and told her, did she know how much we grieved for her. It still feels quite real as I write this. Although I am certain she is in heaven now.
We only had a funeral servie for her and weren't invited to the spreading of ashes at her home. It was the first time I never went to a grave site. Always wondered if that had something to do with it.
Mostly in the recent months if there has been a male in my dream, it's been my dad and not my H. Although my dad was not a very involved father. One dream I am sitting in my dad's lap and resting into him. I am an adult in that dream.
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I had a dream where I was kicking the cr*p out of the OW and my H and they were not fighting back
Lol, yes, that is a cathartic dream alright!