Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: ForeverHopefulOne on August 16, 2010, 08:30:43 PM
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Hello my friends, I was parusing another MLC website today (I often do that to get people onto this site - shhhh) and came across a woman who is in a MLC looking for help. The people on the website BLASTED her because she was honest about what she was feeling and doing.
I wanted to see if it would be ok with all of you if I could direct her to this site for help from us. Any thoughts?
Xoxoxo
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Please do. I think people would be open and hearing her point of view may help us to understand our MLCers better.
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I agree. I thought that the guys could get some useful insight. She is still with her husband and doesn't want to get a divorce. I can't promise that she will post, but she is interested in other websites where she can get feedback.
I will have to ask RCR to delete this thread before I send her over here. Haha
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It is good that she is seeking help. Since she is considering seeking help, still with her husband, and isn't looking for a divorce, she may be in more of a MLT than crisis. It doesn't sound like she's looking to "run", which is also good.
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I think it's a crisis; she has had multiple affairs and is looking for more, but doesn't want to leave her H.
Should I tell RCR to delete this thread tonight; or wait for more people to weigh in?
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I wouldn't worry about deleting it.
You didn't say anything that can get you arrested.
There is a website for support of women in MLC.
RCR knows it. I will have to look it up if she needs it.
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FHO
I think on this forum we are supportive and non judgemental. MLC as RCR puts it is a dis-ease and no one chooses to get on the rollerocaster.
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I think we can learn so much from all sides of MLC. I have had some of the most amazing insight from people who have been through MLC. We may not want to hear some of it, but we don't want to live most of this either.
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I personally would be interested in hearing what she has to say: there is far more literature on men in MLC than women.
And I agree with justasking: this is one of the more friendly and non-judgmental forums I've been on, and I'd like to think we'd make her feel welcome to share whatever she feels like discussing with us.
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fortysixty has a private forum, as does SYMCinc.
I would be fascinated by 'the other side's' viewpoint. Can't imagine I'd be of much help tho.
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I have never been on this site but it is support for women in MLC
http://womeninmlc.lefora.com/
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I have never been on this site but it is support for women in MLC
http://womeninmlc.lefora.com/ (http://womeninmlc.lefora.com/)
I am the founder and owner of the Women in MLC Forum. It is for women who are in MLC and for the men who love them. I also sponsor a Private forum for only women so they can feel free to open up about what they are feeling, going through and the choices they have made. This forum is found at http://www.cyberhotflash.lefora.com (http://www.cyberhotflash.lefora.com).
I look forward to spending some time here reading through the information and the articles...I believe that we have been called to the same mission...to help those who on the mid-life journey AND for those who are left behind while their loved is on their adult prodigal journey.
I hope that I am not imposing on this forum by placing more links here. [/font]
Shepherdess
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I hope that I am not imposing on this forum by placing more links here.
Of course that would be up to RCR since it is her forum, but I would not have posted the link if I didn't think it would be alright.
Shepherdess, You may know her as Penelope.
I just want to know how you knew I put it here so quickly. LOL
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As an administrator of my forum, I can see the links that bring people to my forum...many times this is how I find out about other sites. I have been checking these links a lot lately as I have had some spammers and those we are collecting information on the their partners to use against them in court or to harass them. Our forums are a gentle caring support community...a safe haven. I take the best care of those who come there. They have entrusted their stories and emotional journey to myself and the community. I am greatly appreciative that you found our link and shared it. I am looking forward to reading more here and will be adding the link to my recommended sites
Thank you.
Shepherdess
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Hi Sheperdess,
Though I am familiar with your site, I do not know it in depth and have not visited for some time. But thank you for stopping by. You are welcome to post your link and to directly invite the new MLCer to your forum in a public post or through private message. I visited her thread at the other forum and have read what went on there.
I actually felt she was not attcked in the least. A member did call her out on what she was saying and she lashed out in anger and said she would leave. Some said they didn't think she was in the right place and though she was welcome I think they may have been correct. She thought it was a place for supporting people in MLC and it was a support for the wives of MLCers.
We are also a support for MLC spouses, but she is welcome. But will we provide her what she is seeking...?
I think that she does not yet understand why some LBSs will be angry with her. We can provide her an insight into how betrayed spouses feel and will not advocate infidelity, but we will still offer her HUGS and guidance. But we cannot offer her like-minds because we are on the other side.
What came off as attacking on her other thread happened after she got angry and left. The comments then were honest feelings about good riddance, but were not directed at her since she was no longer speaking--though could have been listening. At that point another poster called out the others for chasing her away rather than welcoming her and they then got mad back at the poster who called them out...it turned into a bit if a spat and though I did not agree with the poster who claimed they were rude and chased her away, I felt the others were rude to her and it felt like an attack.
But as for how they directly treated the woman in MLC, I saw nothing wrong with it.