Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Wed2Him?Whatever. on October 15, 2012, 06:16:00 AM
-
There was an old thread on this topic that was put in Archives: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=284.0;all
I am starting this because of a dream I had the other night. In the dream I was at home and I got a text from my H saying he was kissing some girl and she was really sweet. So I texted back to ask him why he would even send me such a text at that...
Next thing I know he shows up, walks in all smiles (smirking actually) and begins making himself at home (taking off shirt, then shoes) as if he hasn't been moved out for like half a year now. I'm like, "What is this, you're home now? Just like that? What is your deal? At least tell me you've LEARNED something!?!" (I guess I went into a full-on nag mode, I was so much in shock!)
My H starts to throw his shirt back on and says, "Yeah... to go to a ow next time." :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
A noise woke me up right then and so the dream was over. Can't imagine how it would've ended had it been able to continue.
-
Ah W2H4E, good topic!
What a dream!!!!! LOL!!! The smirk!!! ;)
A few weeks before BD, I dreamt H was being horrible to me (call it a premonition!!! :o )
I woke up and told him about it. I still remember it to this day as it was a horrible dream and stayed with me all day. He was MONSTER.
Anyway, through all this I never really dreamt much, only had one dream after BD where H and I went for a long walk along a beach and held each other tightly.
I only started having dreams about H again quite recently. They are mostly positive. In one of them I dreamt he had moved to a houseboat and had started smoking roll-ups (H never smoked). Quite relaxing. haha! The funny thing about that dream was that I remember he named the boat "Hair" which is hilarious considering that H has always been very hairy!!!!!! ;D
OH and there was one HILARIOUS one, in my dream I was holding a baby (not mine though), H was standing next to me and taking a photo of me holding the baby, I look down and the baby has a FULL SET OF TEETH!!!! ;D ;D Honestly, how weird is that.. They were very small, BUT a full set of them! :o ;D
Last night I dreamt we were out somewhere and he called me his 'Girlfriend' and I said something like: "So is this your way of telling me that we are back together??"
Dreams ey?
Peonyxxx
-
Ergh. These last few days have been a doozy.
This morning I dreamed the wife of a couple we know was breaking up with her husband. In real life, the husband-then-fiance had an inappropriate relationship that was discovered in the church, and they were counseled before the wife decided to stand by him. They were married a year later. In the dream, she was breaking up with him, coming to see me, and I kept trying to tell her I still wanted to stay with my relationship.
The day before that, I had a dream where I was preparing for a wedding... but I think I forgot shoes, and was panicking. No clue who the groom was, though.
A few days before that... I was in that semi-wake, semi-asleep state (kind of like a sleep walking dream)... and I dreamt that my H came into the room and sort of embraced/pinned me down like he used to do with affection. I sort of looked at him and sort of asked what was he doing? And he smiled and nuzzled and said "what does it look like?"
Another one involved ... a dog/monster that had a mouth on its back ... and I had to stab it with a knife?
Okay... I would really like these dreams to stop now, thanks. :o
-
I've been having this one in which my W turned into this crazy-eyed evil person who said terrible things to me and then filed for divorce, later justifying her actions by saying it would make her a better person and a better mother. She then went on a crazy spree of moving to a ghetto and befriending a lawyer who looks like Nosferatu and his bariatric wife along with a gaggle of bizarre new friends and old divorced women. She stopped acting like a parent and became more like a crazy aunt to the kids who only shows up sporadically when she can buy them something or take them out to eat. She started living like a college kid after that and moved to a always-trashed apartment by herself and behaving like a teenager living in a dorm or something. It's the most bizarre nightmare I've ever had and I'll be damn glad when I wake up from it and get back to my normal life!!
Oh......wait......
-
Oh Thundarr, this REALLY made me chuckle I'm so sorry!!!
;)
-
Aw man, Thundarr. I chuckled a little too.
soooo.... :o I dreamed that I confronted the OW. We were all in a hotel room...?! And at first, she denied the A, she demanded how I knew.. And then she turned smug that she 'loved' with him. And I just kept at her (I was awesome-- controlled, angry but not vicious, firm, etc) until she turned nasty... And then H seemed to just sort of :o .....
And the next thing I know, she's turned into a Barbie doll. ??? And I sort of shake her, and show her to the H, going, seriously? Her? And H seems to be wondering the same thing.
....her head eventually pops off, and I wake up.
As dreams go... It wasn't too bad. LOL.
-
Sorry Thundarr, I laughed too. No weird dreams for me. I was having so much trouble sleeping, I've been on a steady diet of low-dose Benadryl for about three months. Once I'm out, I don't remember a thing.
-
IANTE: I actually said that to my spouse after BD- "why are you treating me your enemy?"
I dreamnt just last nite- we were face to face- very close and I asked him how many times in our marriage of 29 years did you cheat on me? He said "7"- then I said, you actually counted them? In the dream I could smell him and see his face up close but he looked more the the man I married when he was so much younger.
The dream lingered on what seemed like forever and then I woke up to my nightmare of a life. :'( :'( :'( :'(
-
I have loads of dreams but ive forgot now........i was laughing that hard at peonies dreams with hair and teeth i nearly wet myself.......i haven't laughed that hard for awhile........i bet neighbors think ive finally cracked up since its 10pm at night ........ thanks need to read the rest now xxxxxxxx
Ha edited to had whats with the the mouth on the back of a dog lol.........and the barbie doll one........sure tell you were dreaming there more look freaking CHUCKIE xxxxx
-
I have constant dreams about OW.. I dream of seeing his phone with texts on it from her.. His phone is a big trigger.. He told me the other day he is paranoid of being on his phone if I am around.. I said .. Well if your not doing anything wrong, why be paranoia ..
-
Interesting talk on dreams...I have had MANY dreams that I am making love to H. I know that seems obvious...but those weren't the dreams I had when I was married to him!! I remember having dreams that I would be hooking up with an old b'friend and would go tell my H that I was doing that and he'd say something like - okay, I'll watch the kids or ok, I'll go with you.
So now, the dreams about making love to H - typically on the floor of some place I don't know where it is - are very vivid and so happy and he is really looking right at me. It's weird. Try to not think about it too much.
-
I had a dream about my exH last weekend; it was the first one I have had about him in about a year and a half. In the dream, he had come to my new house in regards to something about the kids. At one point he cornered me in the kitchen and was trying to get all lovey dovey with me, which was what he would sometimes do when we had big fight when we were still together. In the dream I was trying to avoid him but remain polite. When he actually pressed his body up against mine and said something like, "you know how good we were, lets try again". I looked him straight in the eye and said ever so sweetly and sexy, "not of you were the last man on the planet" and walked away. In the dream, however, I felt the weakening in the knees that I used to get around him. It was almost like I had to get away, or there was a chance that I would cave in. I thought about that dream for the whole weekend, trying to figure out what it meant about my true feelings for my exH. I still dont know.
-
I dream of my exH a lot. Also of OW, who I am mostly trying to harm.
-
Ha edited to had whats with the the mouth on the back of a dog lol.........and the barbie doll one........sure tell you were dreaming there more look freaking CHUCKIE xxxxx
Seriously have no idea about the dog one! I watching any horror movie or anything like that. :P maybe it's my mind saying my life is a nightmare of its own?
;D about Chucky. Oh geez, that scared me silly as a kid. No, it was just a Barbie doll. Actually,maybe an imitation Barbie doll.. You know, those low quality types!! Fakes and all.
-
Had another dream involving my H, and I certainly hope it will not turn into a trend.
:(
I was at home and a new neighbor (male, good-looking) came over for a visit. We were flirting and even hanging out in the bedroom, and I kept mentioning how my husband was going to soon be home at any minute. Finally my husband did come home. He was like he was in the post-BD days, dead eyes, little eye contact, only short answers, etc. Anyway, he looked at the stranger in the bedroom, and didn't acknowledge him. Went on about his business as if the guy wasn't there. So, I'm thinking this dream speaks to my sadness that, were I to "move on" to some new relationship my H wouldn't bat an eye. Is it wrong to wish he'd FEEL SOMETHING?!
:'(
-
I think the one and only dream I had was my H wanted me to rescue him from OW... she wouldn't leave him alone and he wanted to come home. I really don't dream much it's strange not sure why and I usually don't remember details. I only think I dreamt this was because my H actually said he wanted to come home and he wanted me to be at his apt when she came in 2 days . By noon the next day he changed his mind and he's been with her every since that was in Feb.of course after I ,emtioned him getting help for his drinking.
-
After Hoss first left I had a dream where he was standing in front of an open window, towering over me, yelling that there was nothing else he needed to tell me. I got into a car with a gun. I was reading "Steering by Starlight" by Martha Beck then, and there's a great section on dream interpretation (not airy fairy, very psychology based) where I sort of symbolically interpreted that the open window was the freedom that was beyond grasp, his yelling and denials made me feel very small, and that the gun gave me some power, a voice in the situation.
I haven't had a ton of dreams of him since. More recently than not. Sometimes I tell him things about MLC and he says he gets it. ;) There was one where we reunited but then he was trying to bring OW in the back door of a house. The last one was last week we were literally on a rollercoaster together and I was enjoying it (I don't like those sorts of things), but after the ride he wanted to go again and I was like, "No way - once was enough." ;D ;D ;D I don't think I need a book to interpret that one!
-
The last one was last week we were literally on a rollercoaster together and I was enjoying it (I don't like those sorts of things), but after the ride he wanted to go again and I was like, "No way - once was enough." I don't think I need a book to interpret that one!
Amen Sister! I've got that interpretation down pat!
-
I don't really dream of H anymore. This past weekend I dreamed I saw 6 tornadoes heading toward my home. I ran into the basement with all the kids, I think H was there and my dog who passed away 9 yrs ago. I saw one tornado right up against a basement window and it cracked, but didn't break.
The other tornadoes were bearing down on the house, but after they past, my house was fine and my neighbor's was gone.
If anyone has any ideas about this, I'd love to hear them.
-
this is interesting. i post most of my dreams in my threads but the most dreams that i have had have been about people from like highschool etc that i have had a crush on or that were fleeting boyfriends. its like we get to have do overs. getting closures or dates with old boyfriends, my crush finally making the first move.
anyone know what all this is about, lol.
-
Oh em gee y'all, I had a doozy of a nightmare this morning and though I usually don't make an appearance on weekends, I want this typed out before I forget it. In the dream, my H had come over for an unexpected visit, wanting to stay the night. Not for a romantic evening; he kept his distance but was polite and not cold. He didn't offer much in the way of an explanation, but hey, I was just glad it appeared he wanted to test the waters. I made friendly chit chat with him for the evening and then went to bed.
When I got up the next morning and was getting dressed, I noticed the door to the spare room was closed. I went and opened the door and he was on his phone ending a convo with "I love you." I said, "Who do you love?" He said her name (in the dream he actually did give a name; I'll abbreviate it as MH here). He said it calmly, as if he were glad it was out and proud to allow that name to roll off his tongue. I had one of those thick plastic coathangers in my hand and let's just say I WENT OFF on him. I kept demanding to know how he could have done this thing to me but after saying her name, he never said another word, he quickly gathered his things and got out of there, as if I were no more than some psycho stranger he'd never seen before and wanted to get away from. Later I learned the only reason he'd come over was because his apartment was full of friends in town for some event (a wedding or something) and he volunteered to find another place to go for a night.