Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: SpecialK on August 21, 2010, 06:44:05 AM
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Hi All
What are your views on this, have you ever had a reading and was it successfully?
I have got myself into a situation where I'm hooked, I know I'm looking for reassurance and I don't trust gut feel, so need conformation all the time. It's now getting out of hand, I can't afford so consequently find myself in debt and can't afford to do what I want to do. I am ashamed because it's become an addition and I want\have to stop.
Sorry I needed to get this out there - I'm angry at myself for letting me get into this situation and I know it's only me that can stop it. :'(
Thank you so much for listening - I feel better getting it off my chest.
SKx
t's getting totally out of hand, I can't afford. It's become an addictio
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SK,
Of course you want reassurance and validation, but the very fact you've put this up here shows that you know this isn't going to help. But you are brave to do so and this is a big step forward for you.
Don't be ashamed SK, don't be ashamed of feeling hurt and low. I don't think there will be many people here who would either judge you, or say if they thought there was a way of fixing this or reading the future they wouldn't have taken it at some point on the journey. I know I would.
You want to ease pain and know what's going to happen, pain will ease and at some point on your journey you will have a clearer path forward. but this takes time and self reflection. Maybe thats starting for you now, and that's what's led you here.
Whatever you need from us to help you out let us know, we're here to help,always.
Love to you.xxx
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I'm in tears now. I so want to stop, and have to find a way of talking myself out of it\find something else to do.
Thanks again.
SP x
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SpecialK,
Have you read Mermaid's thread about the I'Ching? Do that and go to the Coaching Archives and read what I wrote to Readytofixmyselfirst. In there I talked about seeing a psychic as my regular counselor.
It sounds to me as though you are hoping for literal answers through metaphorical means. It doesn't work that way. Tarot is a toold that can help to break through literal thinking; it is like a jump start of ideas. But you are trying to get literal answers and that is not how it works. It also can be misinterpreted.
Often a newbie Stander wants answers about their spouse and how to fix their marriage when the answers they need are about how to start by focusing on themselves. A person may interpret the messages as applying to what they want rather than what they need.
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SK
You've reached the place where things will start to get better, might not seem like it but you are seeing what needs to happen. And as you've wisely said it's about taking your mind off it and thinking how you can distract and take away that need.
Are there particular times of the day? Are weekends worse than weekdays? If you can find the pattern and triggers you will learn to head the urges off at the pass.
And please remember that others have tried to make it better for themselves in all sorts of different ways, some people may not feel as courageous as you are and come out and say it, doesn't mean you're the only person who has done this or something similar.
Keep us posted SK and lots of (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))
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I can't thank you enough, I've been bottling up for a very long time, knowing that it's not right. I do when I get horrible thoughts come into my mind and I can't fight them or when my friends give me their opinion and I take them board. I've been numerous promises to my Mum and Sister not to do it again, but I've broken them several times. I think I will also talk to my Councellor about it on Monday night.
Having said that, the woman I talk to is very, very good. She's is also a trained Councellor. She understands me and knows how my mind works. She's been brilliant. But I have to step back from it, let things happen, learn to trust my own initiution, rather than let others take control.
I can't stop crying now, I think it's a sign that I'm ready to give this up.
Thank you so much, it means so much. I've needed to get this out in the open.
xxx
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Hi Rollercoaster
I have just read through your article on Physics - very interesting. Yours sounds very much like mine. She has given me very good insight to myself, the stuff I need to work on and she has told me that I have to focus on me, not him. The first time I spoke to her to picked up straight away about his crisis, without me saying anything. Again very much like it's been discused on here, she has told me several times there is nothing I can to do fix him, he has to do this in his own time, not to take it as a personal rejection, just duck and keep out the way. But as she often tells me, this is my time, focus on me, not me. I do trust her as I feel she would never ever tell me what I want to here, even if it meant hearing me (in a good way).
Thanks Rollercoaster, it was very interesting reading.
SK xx
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I personally don't care for these things. However, that doesn't mean I haven't wondered about the future and tempted to find a way to see what is going to happen. It's just that I believe everyone has free will to make choices, so even if someone told me my h was going to do something....that doesn't mean he won't change his mind later. And since I am a Christian, I believe it's best to leave the future up to God. I have enough I am responsible for......let God take care of the future.
None of us are going to criticize you. Goodness, if you knew what we have all done, especially early on in this MLC journey, you would be amazed! I would venture to say that every one of us is ashamed of things we've done or things we've said. We are hurt beyond belief! Our entire worlds have fallen apart. Everything we thought that was right in the world is upside down and we have no clue what we are going to do! So, yes, we all make decisions that later on we realize were just pretty stupid. :-[
I think since you are feeling this way, you're well on your way to moving forward. I think a good way to break this habit is to get on here and post the next time you feel the need to see this psychic. You mentioned that she was a good counselor. So? There are a lot of good counselors. I think you need to find someone else so you won't be tempted to get sucked in again and cause yourself more debt. And, if you can't afford a counselor......post here. Read the articles here. Go to the library and check out books on midlife crisis.
You can do this!! You know they say the steps to recovery are to admit you have a problem. You did that. You are strong enough to recognize you have a problem. Now, you can move on. You can do this! Just put one foot in front of the other one. One step at a time! :)
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SK, my heart breaks for you. I love your honesty! CK is right. We've all done things we wouldn't ordinarily do; anything for some kind of answer/guidance. I've resisted the urge myself. Keep posting! We're here for you. God Bless! iHh
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As RCR said upthread, predictions are only possibilities given current circumstances. You can use what they say to access your intuition. Spend time pondering the responses you get, and making choices based upon what you already know, and possible consequences to your behavior. Pay attention to your bodily responses as you ponder, as this will help you access your intuition.
All of these are free:
I like to use the I ching site click here (http://www.ichingonline.net/)
and this tarot site (http://www.facade.com/tarot/). Much is tongue in cheek.
This tarot site (http://www.free-tarot-reading.net/) is fun too.
Stick with the free ones, they are just as good. Don't overuse them, the answers will only become more obscure, not clearer.
You can also get a book and cards or coins of your own. These are just tools to guide your thinking and open your 'ears'.
Rcr's recent newsletter discusses "How to meditate". I think you will find this very helpful too. You do not need to pay $ for others to tell you answers that are within you. You can find them yourself.
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Thank you all for your support. To help me I need to keep away from tarot completely, even the free ones. For me personally when I've tried the free ones in the past, if I don't like what
they say, I have another go. Again, this is my view so please don't take it personally, how can the free ones really pick up your situation, they cannot link into you. Don't forget they are computer generate.
I have to put together number chart, based on the number of days 'til Christmas (123), I will tick off each day that I don't have a reading, hopefully I will have a 123 ticked off :-) I have a
Councellors appointment tonight, hopefully I will find the strengh to tell him about. I feel quite tearful today and it's time like these I'm tempted to have a reading, right now I don't think I will
ever get over him, whereas I just want to feel about him the same as he does me.
Thanks again everyone your very kind help and support.
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Remember that tarot--and other tools--are about breaking through intuition. It is also recommended that a person not do readings for themselves...so a computer generated card pull might be fine with a person to read you and the cards. But remember that if you are making it about prediction, you are probably going to be disappointed.
If you feel that you are addicted and using the tools in an inappropriate or unwise manner, then yes, it is best to stay away. The psychic I saw used tarot cards for many of her clients, but she only used them with me in our first session before we knew each other well. After that we talked...with me asking questions and us discussing possibilities.
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Thanks Rollercoaster. I have been using that in an inappropriate way to the point I have become obsessive. Part of it is
because I don't listen\don't trust my initiution and the fact it could be wishful thinking. My Councellor tells me you should
always trust your instintcs.
Talking of instincts, does anyone feel that pick up on other people, those that are close to you?
Actually the Woman I am in contact with doesn't use cards either - the very first time she spoke to me she picked up on my situation
straight away without me saying anything. She has given me so much help and guidance, helped to face up to a lot of things.
She has a lot of health problems herself, but always remains upbeat (when she goes downhill she will not do readings). I
have to say I have put my faith and trust in her. I know she would\will only ever tell me the truth. It has however got out of
hand.
SK x
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SK -- I think you know yourself when something like that has become inappropriate -- that is also trusting your instincts.
I fell for something like that a number of years ago, something that in and of itself wasn't harmful at all, and could have even been helpful, but the practitioners were very good at saying keep going, keep going, all the while saying that it was your choice, but that of course you could choose not to be all you could be, etc., etc, etc. I kept on going (and spending money) long after I should have stopped.
I wasn't trusting myself enough. When I stopped it was like coming out of a fog -- it all seemed so clear. (like mlc????).
Trust yourself.
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Thanks everyone for all your help and comments.
I talked about in my Concelling session last night, and I felt so much better for it. I have to confess though I did do it
one more time, but do you know what it gave me no pleasure what's so ever. Now I really do have a feeling of moving
on ;) I cannot say I won't be tempted in the future, but I feel like a bit of weight has been lifted.
In future, when I'm tempted on will come on and get you guys to shout at me - Lol
Thanks everyone x
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Well it's been a week, the longest time sine April. I did feel a bit wobbley yesteday, but thankfully as I was out and the feeling past :)
SKx
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Yeah for you SpecialK!!!
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Thank you - I hope I can make it through another week :)
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Hi SpecialK,
We are all looking for answers and it's so hard not knowing exactly what is going to happen in the future. But, detaching as much as possible it a good way, and focusing in on you and your life and what you are going to make of it for the time being! I learned from this site that this time can be looked at as a gift. I know that sounds corny, but in practice it works for me. I am a Christian, so my view is: _I _stay away from psychics, fortune tellers, todays' soothsayers, witches, etc. because God holds my future and I put all my faith in him. Through all of this he hasn't left my side once and loves me like there's no tomorrow. When nobody understands, he does. He has given me the strength and wisdom to bare this out and come out ahead and on top! We are all human and we all have our weaknesses, and bad days..don't beat yourself up, instead treat yourself up.
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Hi Taco-Girl
Thanks for you reply. I'm slowly beginning to think a lot clearer and it occured to me that if we knew what the future holds then we wouldn't be working on ourselves. I do believe there are genuine people out there, but for me it was about letting them take control of my life and having my initution confirmed. Also there is the danger of running our in accordance to what's been predicted, therefore overlooking other opportunities that may come our way.
SKx
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SK,
You are correct, there are true psychic people out there but to answer a few previous posts, they are NOT all of the devil, or even witches.
I've seen and detected ones who are of the devil and I have also dealt with a few witches in my time...and that is an experience....all contain demons within..but their "seeing" was flawed, as the devil and his minions CANNOT see the future at all; only the past.
I'm not getting onto anyone for their beliefs; each one is entitled to what they believe; but God has a way of opening your eyes to some simple truths.....I used to believe this way, as well, before my eyes were opened by the Lord, when He sent a lady that utilized ALL the gifts that I had been taught as a girl were of the devil; she had the ability to see the past, and the future; she could see auras, as well as being empathic, and a healer ....yet, God sent her to ME...supplying her with everything she needed to help me through...and, from what I later understood, He PUSHED her toward me, and convinced her to help and stay with me UNTIL I developed some of these same gifts that she had.
I came to the understanding, as she helped me through my husband's MLC, that ALL gifts come from God; but it is up to the individual whether they use them for good or for evil. God gives gifts WITHOUT repentance, which means He doesn't take them back, but He CAN diminish those gifts if they are not used for His Glory.
That's why what you perceive as a "flawed vessel" or a backslidden Christian, is still able to exercise their gifts, although in a limited sort of fashion.
The only thing that He did tell me about her after I was more able to hear and heed Him, was that her beliefs were "mixed" but it was not my job to try and turn her...but to understand, when she said things that I knew weren't exactly on the line, to more or less overlook these things.
The outcome, through this lady, was revealed to me in the beginning, but NOT the paths I had to walk to get there...so, though, you may know the outcome, you will NOT know ALL you have to go through to get to that end...and anything can change at ANY time to alter said outcome and/or even add time to it.
I "see" and "know" things at times; does this make me a witch, or used of the devil? I don't think so...God shows me what He wants me to see/hear...and sometimes it involves seeing into the future for whatever reason He needs me to do that....I don't use divination, I simply rely on hearing Him..and though, I don't see everything, I see enough to help someone with whatever problem they have, IF it is the Lord's Will that I'm to do this.
I see some things for some, but not for all....some people get the benefit of my experience, but then, some people; like Covenant Keeper, for example, get the benefit of hearing from God Himself through me, although SHE hears Him just as clearly as I do.
And some people, I draw a total blank for. It's not by chance that I land on someone's thread to post something to them...when I come in, He directs me where to go...and I go where He says go.
To attribute things of God to the devil is to invite trouble into your life....if you're truly discerning, you'll KNOW what is of God, and what is of the devil.
Some psychics are limited in what they can do, and so they "fill in" the blanks...some are much stronger, but know this: for every spiritual gift a person receives, there is a physical price that is paid for it...and that is why some psychics stay sick alot..it takes a LOT of spiritual energy to power the gift of foretelling...and it's tiring to use.
I haven't mentioned the tarot nor the Iching that's mentioned here.....it is NOT my place to judge this usage of tarot cards, but I WOULD stay totally AWAY from a Ouija Board, if anyone has any thoughts about that...it will open doors to the demonic world that you cannot close, as demonic spirits inhabit this board, and come through using this type of medium.
I've got a bad memory of a Ouija Board from the time I was a little girl of about 12 or 13; one of my friends had gotten one for Christmas, and she convinced me to play with her on it.....long story short, the thing you put your hands on,(I THINK it's called an "oracle" or something like that) literally JUMPED off the board and flew out the school bus window...wasn't long before the entire board and box joined it...and the little girl who had it ended up on the front seat of the bus, as the bus driver didn't like people throwing things out of the window...or that was what he THOUGHT he saw.
My grandmother used to tell the future using a straight deck of cards, her mother before her did this, too....and for awhile, when I was much younger, I was able to do the same thing; yet, as the gift I carry now developed in time, the cards weren't needed.
I also have an aunt who is a "dreamer of dreams" and these contain actual events that come to pass at a later time; she is also gifted with Prophecy, and the presence of the Lord around her is something to behold, as she is strong within Him.
There are times when knowledge of the future is needed, but GOD will determine those times; as when He does that, a person needs to prepare themselves for a certain outcome to come about, as it lines itself up with HIS WILL.
Usually when He does that, the path is set in stone for a time, at a point of no return, but if you don't do as He instructs, it will change the outcome for something you didn't intend to happen..and you will recycle right back toward the same battle/event once again to get to do it all over again.
I've been there, and had that happen before.
The future, such as it is, is liquid and can be changed at any time; and it is always changing...whereas the past is set in stone.
Now, there are certain things that are meant to happen, and these are on a path of no return...you might avoid them for awhile, but eventually they will catch up with you.
There came a time in my search for answers that NOTHING turned up, and it was what it was supposed to be....I was to rejoice and be glad in the day the Lord had made; and get on with it.
It took time, but I was able to do that, and you will too, SK.
You had talked about being "hooked" on this..and to some extent, it would be an addiction, especially with the pain you've experienced, and are STILL experiencing.
BUT-understand there were things you weren't being told, and you weren't meant to know them....I've been warned that way before when talking with someone...I'd see certain things, but not be able to reveal them...to do that would change the path they were on for the worse...but I would see these things in order to be able to pray for them effectively.
You are right that you need to learn to trust yourself, and God, who is also your intuition will show you what you need to do when you need to do it.
If and when you need confirmation of what you are feeling; God will send someone to do just that for you...but only when you need it the most.
Take care. :)
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My input on this is that my belief about psychics is based on what I read in the Bible. I do not have any experience with a psychic.
I believe people can (and will) make their own decisions regarding psychics, and that decision is up to them. I will list a few of the scriptures from the Bible regarding this subject. If anyone is interested, they can read them for themselves and use that wisdom to make a decision based on your own belief.
Leviticus 19:31
Leviticus 20:27
2 Chronicles 33:6
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HB thanks for sharing, your words are very powerful.
The physic I speak to is such a lovely person, however she is often ill - she suffers from ME, is confined to a wheelchair. When she crashes she cannot speak to anyone.
With regards to dreams, recently I have been having a lot of powerful dreams - they feel so real that when I wake up it takes a while for me to realise where I am.
SKx
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SK,
With regards to dreams, recently I have been having a lot of powerful dreams - they feel so real that when I wake up it takes a while for me to realise where I am
Keep a journal of these. When a dream feels "different", it usually means something. The meaning is not always apparent, however. Reading back over your dream journal at the end of a week, and relating those dreams to your thoughts, feelings and actions, will enable you to understand them more readily over time. AND this is another way to put your focus on yourself!
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The last two really strong dreams happend over the last two weeks, they were both about my ex. They felt so real that and they were happy. It me a while when I woke up I had only been dreaming.
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Does anyone else have any thoughts on astrology and Tarot? I've always viewed as entertainment, had daily horoscopes, sometimes I would refer to them as "horrorscopes" delivered via emai but never really took them seriously, half the time just deleted without reading. As a Christian I believe no false prophecy, however if astrology is based on the stars, that is a Godly creation. Today, I open email and what do I get but a Tarot card reading I haven't looked at in months. I don't even know why I opened the email (I think they all come through IVillage and I checked them years ago when the net was just booming, I signed up, and my daughter was little and they prompt you through selecting things of interest and I didn't want to be bombarded by spam so I thought daily scopes would be something fun in the inbox).
Anyhow this is what mine was this morning, when I am to met with attorney in a few hours about financial security with the NC separation but not wanting to file for D. Seems eerie.
"The Tower card suggests that your relationship may be in crisis, and this is your wake-up call. You can't go on fooling yourself any longer, and if you don't break up, you will certainly be on a rocky path if you don't work on what affects your very foundation. The impact may be severe, for while you feel secure, something unforeseen, sudden and dramatic may come to dispel your illusions. It may be a catastrophic experience, but you can rebuild this relationship into a better and stronger one if you take drastic measures or pull together to salvage what you can. This is a time where you can see if you have the right stuff. You might be pleasantly surprised to discover your own capacity for resourcefulness, dignity, creativity and generosity."
Again, let me stress, religiously, personally, I'm not sure how much credence to pay to astrology but was very curious if anyone else is a follower and how it iimpacts your life and decisions. I have never let it impact any life decisions but I know people who do.
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I think, whether you are a Christian or not, it is important to be careful of using Astrology and the Tarot as predictive tools. First of all, there is no scientific evidence for their use in this way. Secondly, Christians are discouraged from using it, and thirdly, it distracts you from your changing, developing path.
However, it can be used as a reflective tool, to stimulate you to think about things which may be (semi) buried in your subsconsciousness, and take wise and appropriate action. Jung, who was a Christian, used the iChing this way, drawing on the idea of synchronicity (meaningful coincidences) to use the iChing in making sense of a situation.
We've had a thread about this, which I'll bump up, and another about astrology. Meanwhile, here's the link:
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=218.0;all (http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=218.0;all)
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Thanks Mermaid. Just as an FYI - what I saw in it was more of affirmation of what I'm going through now.
Like I said, I always saw it as entertainment, this just struck me as, well, eerie is the only way to describe it this morning. My interpretation of it is basically everything to your foundation is being shaken and we may hit bottom but if dedicated the relationship can survive and be stronger. Seeing my own faults and strengths and who knows, maybe it is as simple as in my state financially and custody wise, a D would be such a catastrophic experience it will help me dig in my heels though the tough spots, OK, I was going to to do that anyway as an intended stander, but since H is such a money guy, if he contacts an attorney and is told the same thing it may help hm literally, get a grip. He's the one that contacted a "free phone consult" attorney before moving out rather than pay someone for a full consult to save a few bucks.
I will check the thread you are posting after attorney appointment. I'm not desperately seeking guidance through astrology, or going to make any life decisions based on it, this was just weird, and food for thought, discussion.
Notice though, I'm automatically thinking this is to do with H, it could very likely be a relationship with another family member as well. All in the mindset, I guess ;)
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I think this is the thread that we had going so I put your posts together in this thread.
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I know this subject has been discussed before, but I've just been re-reading the original post I put together in 2010 - sorry I don't know how to get it out of the archieves.
EDIT - Luckily I DO - Merged - OP
As some of you know I have had a downward slip over the last two weeks by phoning tarot - each phone reading I had gave me different answers; I have got to the point where it scares me and I don't trust myself to the point where I am considering getting help.
Anyway I came across this reply from HB, which more sense to me now then it did back then - perhaps I was guided back to here:
You are correct, there are true psychic people out there but to answer a few previous posts, they are NOT all of the devil, or even witches.
I've seen and detected ones who are of the devil and I have also dealt with a few witches in my time...and that is an experience....all contain demons within..but their "seeing" was flawed, as the devil and his minions CANNOT see the future at all; only the past.
I'm not getting onto anyone for their beliefs; each one is entitled to what they believe; but God has a way of opening your eyes to some simple truths.....I used to believe this way, as well, before my eyes were opened by the Lord, when He sent a lady that utilized ALL the gifts that I had been taught as a girl were of the devil; she had the ability to see the past, and the future; she could see auras, as well as being empathic, and a healer ....yet, God sent her to ME...supplying her with everything she needed to help me through...and, from what I later understood, He PUSHED her toward me, and convinced her to help and stay with me UNTIL I developed some of these same gifts that she had.
I came to the understanding, as she helped me through my husband's MLC, that ALL gifts come from God; but it is up to the individual whether they use them for good or for evil. God gives gifts WITHOUT repentance, which means He doesn't take them back, but He CAN diminish those gifts if they are not used for His Glory.
That's why what you perceive as a "flawed vessel" or a backslidden Christian, is still able to exercise their gifts, although in a limited sort of fashion.
The only thing that He did tell me about her after I was more able to hear and heed Him, was that her beliefs were "mixed" but it was not my job to try and turn her...but to understand, when she said things that I knew weren't exactly on the line, to more or less overlook these things.
The outcome, through this lady, was revealed to me in the beginning, but NOT the paths I had to walk to get there...so, though, you may know the outcome, you will NOT know ALL you have to go through to get to that end...and anything can change at ANY time to alter said outcome and/or even add time to it.
I "see" and "know" things at times; does this make me a witch, or used of the devil? I don't think so...God shows me what He wants me to see/hear...and sometimes it involves seeing into the future for whatever reason He needs me to do that....I don't use divination, I simply rely on hearing Him..and though, I don't see everything, I see enough to help someone with whatever problem they have, IF it is the Lord's Will that I'm to do this.
I see some things for some, but not for all....some people get the benefit of my experience, but then, some people; like Covenant Keeper, for example, get the benefit of hearing from God Himself through me, although SHE hears Him just as clearly as I do.
And some people, I draw a total blank for. It's not by chance that I land on someone's thread to post something to them...when I come in, He directs me where to go...and I go where He says go.
To attribute things of God to the devil is to invite trouble into your life....if you're truly discerning, you'll KNOW what is of God, and what is of the devil.
Some psychics are limited in what they can do, and so they "fill in" the blanks...some are much stronger, but know this: for every spiritual gift a person receives, there is a physical price that is paid for it...and that is why some psychics stay sick alot..it takes a LOT of spiritual energy to power the gift of foretelling...and it's tiring to use.
I haven't mentioned the tarot nor the Iching that's mentioned here.....it is NOT my place to judge this usage of tarot cards, but I WOULD stay totally AWAY from a Ouija Board, if anyone has any thoughts about that...it will open doors to the demonic world that you cannot close, as demonic spirits inhabit this board, and come through using this type of medium.
I've got a bad memory of a Ouija Board from the time I was a little girl of about 12 or 13; one of my friends had gotten one for Christmas, and she convinced me to play with her on it.....long story short, the thing you put your hands on,(I THINK it's called an "oracle" or something like that) literally JUMPED off the board and flew out the school bus window...wasn't long before the entire board and box joined it...and the little girl who had it ended up on the front seat of the bus, as the bus driver didn't like people throwing things out of the window...or that was what he THOUGHT he saw.
My grandmother used to tell the future using a straight deck of cards, her mother before her did this, too....and for awhile, when I was much younger, I was able to do the same thing; yet, as the gift I carry now developed in time, the cards weren't needed.
I also have an aunt who is a "dreamer of dreams" and these contain actual events that come to pass at a later time; she is also gifted with Prophecy, and the presence of the Lord around her is something to behold, as she is strong within Him.
There are times when knowledge of the future is needed, but GOD will determine those times; as when He does that, a person needs to prepare themselves for a certain outcome to come about, as it lines itself up with HIS WILL.
Usually when He does that, the path is set in stone for a time, at a point of no return, but if you don't do as He instructs, it will change the outcome for something you didn't intend to happen..and you will recycle right back toward the same battle/event once again to get to do it all over again.
I've been there, and had that happen before.
The future, such as it is, is liquid and can be changed at any time; and it is always changing...whereas the past is set in stone.
Now, there are certain things that are meant to happen, and these are on a path of no return...you might avoid them for awhile, but eventually they will catch up with you.
There came a time in my search for answers that NOTHING turned up, and it was what it was supposed to be....I was to rejoice and be glad in the day the Lord had made; and get on with it.
It took time, but I was able to do that, and you will too, SK.
You had talked about being "hooked" on this..and to some extent, it would be an addiction, especially with the pain you've experienced, and are STILL experiencing.
BUT-understand there were things you weren't being told, and you weren't meant to know them....I've been warned that way before when talking with someone...I'd see certain things, but not be able to reveal them...to do that would change the path they were on for the worse...but I would see these things in order to be able to pray for them effectively.
You are right that you need to learn to trust yourself, and God, who is also your intuition will show you what you need to do when you need to do it.
If and when you need confirmation of what you are feeling; God will send someone to do just that for you...but only when you need it the most..
SKxxx
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Hello All
I know a similar subject has been on here on the past, but I would like to open a new discussion that would really help me.
As many of you know I struggle with this. At times it really has got out of hand, other times I can take or it leave, then when I 'can't think for myself' or get 'desperate my thoughts turn to getting answers from the cards or whatever means. This is something I will be really opening up to my Councellor about tonight.
It scares me that it has become an addition, at times taken over my life - I wouldn't do anything until I had spoken to someone. Thankfully that need has gone. Right now I do feel I'm at the tail end of this and ready to let go, trust myself (yep I've told myself that before and then I find myself back to square one).
Hand on heart, at the moment in time I am happy with my life, although not in a place where I want to be, but I am adapting the attitude of enjoying the moment - no more shutting myself away. But the scary part is what happens if I find myself wanting a reading?
So what are your views on this? Why do we do it? Do we live our lives by what the cards etc., tell us? Do we make it happen because it has been predicted? I have just been reading through some of things I've been told via phone reading. Yes a very few things have happend, but most of it has failed to metalized. Does it make a difference between 1:1 reading or phone?
Your views will be greatly appreciated, and will really help me.
Thanks all
SKxxx
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I'll bite. This is probably a sensitive subject though for some. Much like talking about religion or politics. I have never had an addiction, so I can only speak from my viewpoint.
If you find yourself wanting a reading and you know the reason why you want the readings is because you don't trust yourself then perhaps you can take a deep breath, meditate or pray, open up a journal and write the issue that's bothering you, then start writing whatever comes to mind and see what you come up with. As you start to discover more answers within, your own voice, you may begin to trust yourself more. You also have to accept that life is not perfect, so if something doesn't turn out how you want it, it's not the end of the world even though it may feel that way or make you anxious.
From what I understand, the tools you speak of are used to show you probabilities of certain outcomes if you don't change anything about the path you are on. If something change, the outcomes the tools show you are no longer valid. Another use could be to help you "see" information on a subconscious as well as conscious level. That allows you access to more info in your situation that you otherwise might not have without the gentle guidance.
These tools normally dont predict. They help guide you. They show you what's probable. Now this is only my basic understanding and this is something that could go way deeper than this. Perhaps knowing that you aren't getting "predictions" is enough to help you breathe and relax.
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I think ascending's got it. I was raised in a very shamanic/spiritualist home and I know not all of it is to be discounted, the most important consultant or oracle for any of us is that voice within. God (whatever your view of Him is) wants you to have peace. If something brings you strife instead, it is taking you away from yourself and your own journey.
I think we do these things because we focus on the outcomes and want to be able to take steps based on that. In reality, our steps manifest the outcome. That's my take, anyway! I blame my H for introducing me to Buddhism and living in the "now". Now if HE would just remember that...;)
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I agree that ascending has got it with regards to developing the ability to trust ourselves -- that is really what matters. I have used the I-Ching at times; as long as you remember that it is a tool to help develop your own thinking and not an oracle, it is fine. At times it has helped to calm me: it always reminds me to discard attachment, desire, and so on, and return to the correct path. Basically saying what we say here: detach, watch your own behaviour, and so on.
Trusting ourselves is important, especially as it can be that what is required in our own situations may not be what is "prescribed" anywhere else, including on this forum. It's what RCR means when she writes that Standing is about bending with the wind, adjusting to circumstances, and so on. As much as our situations have in common, they are also unique, and we need to see our own situations and our MLCers crises for what they are, not for someone else's crisis.
And that can be scary, as can digging deep down to our own truths, separating out what our own core needs are, and seeing ourselves as we are. Not re-writing our history, either... not suddenly seeing just all the bad because our MLCer does, nor having our rose-coloured glasses on..
Oh, it's such a tightrope. I do think that there are tools out there to help us meditate and remain centred; I also think that we need to know their limitations.
Oh, and my 2 cents' worth is that at least the I-ching doesn't charge a lot of money....
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Thank you so much for responding :)
I talked about this in-depth tonight with my Councellor, and she has said exactly the same as you guys - the voice inside. For me it's about learning to listen to what it's telling me and trust it, rather than be disrespectful to myself/my voice and give the control over to someone else. Searching for answers from other people, rather than trust myself, feeling that I am deluding myself, when the answers really are inside.
The next part of my journey is to really to trust and listen to my voice. Practice inner breathing, meditation, pray. Learn to live in the here and now, rather than wanting to know and worry what the future will bring, therefore missing out on what's going on now. More than anything I want to let go and I am determind to do the work to achieve this. It's time to take the plaster off and expose the wound in order to heal properly.
Over the last 4 years I have spent loads of money on this, getting myself into debt and for what. A quick fix that makes me feel good for a short while, but then I'm back down again, and the process starts all over again.
Thank you once again
SKxxx
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I have used a pyschic and an astrologer with excellent ressults. They have helped me IMMENSELY to trust my inner voice. In fact, they have helped me more than my secular IC.
Bird
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You all have so much calm and wisdom. It's nice to be here. I like to look at the horoscopes. I know I know some people think that it'll say "you will eat Chinese food and be hungry later.." ::)
But my H is a Capricorn and since BD his horoscope has kept me calm. Especially when they talk about romance, love and finances. Right after BD I wasn't reading anything. Then I found this site and just read the articles and threads. But when I went back and checked his horoscopes for the mos 6 til now 18 mos post BD It's amazing how accurate they are. For him anyway.
The last 6 weeks his horoscope says that it's time to stop pretending. It's time for authenticity. It's Saturn square to Venus or whatever means you are unhappy in the R you are in and need to find a voice. It says capricorns are stubborn and always want the best! They are deep thinkers ::) ::) (put statue of Thinker here)
and once they marry they are loyal. Distractions wear off and the last year or so has not given him the long term gains he had expected.
Whenever there is a full moon or new moon lots of cycling and weird energy. Usually good from over here point of view.
Never did the Tarot or other stuff, scared. Don't even know what those weegee boards are for. LOL!
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My H is a Cappy, too, MB! And I have to agree, the moon cycles and major transits have shown to have an effect. I tracked back and the only D talks we've had over the last year have been during Mercury Retrogrades (when you're not supposed to make major decisions - ;D ;D ;D Would explain why I still sit here married with all of his stuff in the garage and his mail coming here).
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Hi MB, mine too.
The last 6 weeks his horoscope says that it's time to stop pretending. It's time for authenticity. It's Saturn square to Venus or whatever means you are unhappy in the R you are in and need to find a voice. It says capricorns are stubborn and always want the best! They are deep thinkers ::) ::) (put statue of Thinker here)
and once they marry they are loyal. Distractions wear off and the last year or so has not given him the long term gains he had expected.
Whenever there is a full moon or new moon lots of cycling and weird energy. Usually good from over here point of view.
Bingo! These past 6 weeks no doubt have triggered the thinker.
And I have to agree, the moon cycles and major transits have shown to have an effect. I tracked back and the only D talks we've had over the last year have been during Mercury Retrogrades (when you're not supposed to make major decisions - ;D ;D ;D Would explain why I still sit here married with all of his stuff in the garage and his mail coming here).
OMG, Ready2 same same same. That explaines a lot of the antics. Maybe we should start calling them Cap MRG's instead of MLC'ers. ;D ;D ;D Guess your dad was right when he told you that this stuff in the garage would still be there untill next winter. :D
BTW I'm a Cap myself..... OH!OH! 8) 8) 8)
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Oh Wow! That's interesting. My H is a Capricorn too - and there have been many antics these past few weeks!
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It says capricorns are stubborn and always want the best! They are deep thinkers ::) ::) (put statue of Thinker here)
and once they marry they are loyal. Distractions wear off and the last year or so has not given him the long term gains he had expected.
Yep, Yep, we Caps are stubborn! You can bet on that one. We always want the best and are deep thinkers and very loyal. Except that, when we loose it, we loose it. Capricorn has Saturn both side, and one of them is of loosing it. Rare but happens. The romans had Saturnalia, a feativity in honour of Saturn, held once a year, during wish everything would be turned upside down
"Saturnalia was an ancient Roman festival in honor of the deity Saturn originally held December 17 and later expanded with unofficial festivities through December 23. The holiday was celebrated with a sacrifice at the Temple of Saturn in the Roman Forum and a public banquet, followed by private gift-giving, continual partying, and a carnival atmosphere that overturned Roman social norms: gambling was permitted, and masters provided table service for their slaves.[1] The poet Catullus called it "the best of days."[2]"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia)
My husband is a Sage but has a Cap moon, so, it makes sense he has lost it.