Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses

Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: ForeverHopefulOne on September 01, 2010, 11:21:55 AM

Title: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: ForeverHopefulOne on September 01, 2010, 11:21:55 AM
At the urging of Mermaid and TrustandLove, I am starting this thread to let us all post our MLC Bucket Lists; the list should be of all the things that you hope to accomplish, or things you have always wanted to do.  Our journey's will take us down many interesting paths, and will also allot us some extra time to do these things.  Here is my list so far; as I remember more things, I jot them down - I'm sure there will be MANY more:

1.  Skydive - CHECK!
2.  Visit my friend in Vancouver, BC
3.  Go to Yosemite
4.  Visit more museums
5.  Take two weeks off and drive cross-country stopping at all the cheesy tourist spots along the way
6.  Learn more about the stock market and invest some money in the stock market
7.  Read the Sunday LA Times newspaper from front to back - coupons included!
 
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Still on September 01, 2010, 11:35:53 AM
1.  Parasail (done and NEVER again, scared the be-jeepers out of me)
2.  Learn to run every piece of yard equipment (done)
3.  Learn to wallpaper, paint, steam clean, repair siding. (done)
4.  Take my kids on weekend trip by myself (done...and what a blast!)
5.  Schedule and maintain my own car repairs (done)
6.  Develop a closer relationship with God (I never knew how far away I was.)

I guess I don't have any big dreams I haven't realized. I just hope/pray that my children will continue to see me as a person worthy of respect and to know that each day I work towards maintaining our family in whatever shape it takes.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: readytofixmyselffirst on September 01, 2010, 11:43:46 AM
My list is extensive:

1. Continue to be a force in the lives of my daughters
2. Finish my Doctoral Dissertation
3. Ride my Bike with my youngest daughter to the beach (70 mile trek)
4. Write a creative short story/novella and get it published
5. Take an art/sculpture class at a community college
6. Take one trip a year with the family
7. Run a 5k with the youngest
8. Set up one father/daughter activity with the oldest
9. Continue to reestablish my commitment to God
10. Learn to love myself, my children, and my wife each and every day.
11. Fly to England, Find the OM, and punch him in the nose!!! (Okay, Okay, it doesn't fit but it sure sounds like fun!!!)
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: ForeverHopefulOne on September 01, 2010, 11:54:20 AM
I guess I don't have any big dreams I haven't realized. I just hope/pray that my children will continue to see me as a person worthy of respect and to know that each day I work towards maintaining our family in whatever shape it takes.

Still, they do.  You are their hero everyday; their rock; their constant; their mentor; THEIR MOTHER!

Keep adding to that list, Still.  There is much to do and many things to see.

xoxoxo
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: ForeverHopefulOne on September 01, 2010, 11:56:33 AM
Nice list, RTFMF!!  Very impressive.  I hope that you can mark off all of those things very soon!
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Still on September 01, 2010, 12:05:50 PM
FHO,

You are such a sweet person who endlessly inspires us on this forum. You are our hero!! ;)
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Broken Hearted on September 01, 2010, 12:06:43 PM
1. Learn how to use all the equipment in my H's studio and record a few tracks.
2. Keep my job (big changes and redundancies coming apparently)
3. Get the cat I saw at the cattery last Friday (home visit by the cattery home-checker tomorrow!)
4. Be able to make a long car journey on my own (with the aid of sat-nav) and keep calm and not have a nervous breakdown.
5. Keep my cool at meeting my H again after 5 weeks....I'm afraid I will fall into his arms or worse still, throw up with nerves :-(
6. Start the damn lawnmower!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: mercury on September 01, 2010, 12:24:35 PM
I have a hard time with deciding what I want to do now that I can do anything I want. I meet my goals already. I though we'd just coast into retirement enjoying all we worked for, I had no idea that a nuclear bomb was coming.

1. Get my D into college
2. Work in Africa

I liked the punch om, I'd like to add punch ow & mlcer, at least you get to fly somewhere cool to do it, I only have to drive 8 miles, not so much fun, probably no even worth the gas. 
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Mermaid on September 01, 2010, 12:59:21 PM
Great idea FHO!
Things I’d like to do; well, I’ve already changed country, learned a new language, been skydiving, finished my doctoral thesis, had two children, and loved long and strong, all which were on my “to do” list for life. What’s left?
1.   Do an hour’s exercise everyday.
2.   Lose my chocolate/ sugar “addiction”.
3.   Lose 10kg, so I feel more energetic and look better.
4.   Practice meditation everyday
5.   Learn to be very self controlled without losing my spontaneity and fun.
6.   Write a good number of interesting academic papers from my thesis
7.   Get involved with more research
8.   Publish academic papers of national/ international interest.
9.   Move up in my career.
10.   Write a novel (at least one) and a play
11.   Sell my apartment and get a place in the city.
12.   Support D19 and D14 through university and guide them wisely into life.
13.   Visit Turkey.
14.   Visit family in Australia
15.   Get involved with music again; singing, playing a new instrument
16.   Learn another language fluently, and brush up on existing languages
17.   Be able to run 10km without puffing like a charging wart hog.
18.   Visit friends in the US, especially the godmother of D14

I’m sure there are more, but can’t think of them now.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: readytofixmyselffirst on September 01, 2010, 01:00:08 PM
I would also add that I would like to meet the people that are on this site. Maybe after I take care of OM in England, I can meet my UK friends!!! They can get me some ice for my hand.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Mermaid on September 01, 2010, 01:31:07 PM
LOL, RTFMF! Can I have a ring-side seat?

Does that mean I can throw a bucket of ice-cold water over OW, and ask her when she is going to get her own boyfriend?
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: ForeverHopefulOne on September 01, 2010, 01:36:08 PM
Mermaid, I am so impressed with your list!  WOW!  I too want to learn another language - your list helped me to remember.  I want to learn German.  I love Germany and would love to go back there speaking the language.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Mermaid on September 01, 2010, 01:48:48 PM
Learn German? What a good idea!

Every time I go on holiday, I try to learn a bit of the language. Czech was the hardest, because it didn't sound like the latin (romance) languages I know.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: tinydancer on September 01, 2010, 02:12:16 PM
My bucket list, hmmm . . . .
1.   Write a book
2.   Be in a play
3.   Relearn the saxophone
4.   Play the piano more
5.   Go on a cruise
6.   Spend more quality time with my daughter teaching her things
7.   Spend time with my future grandchildren being a typical grandma
8.   Dance often (I so miss dancing)
9.   Learn to have fun again
10. Learn to mow and take care of my own yard
11. Drive cross country and have a fun road trip just me and my daughter
12. Learn how to handle money and pay my own bills
13. Learn to love myself
14. Continue to love God and seek him
15. Continue to lose weight
16. Truly manage my diabetes
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: stillhere on September 01, 2010, 04:03:18 PM
Great idea FHO--

I've not put much thought into this recently.

1.  Become closer to God and continue to strengthen my faith.
2.  Start a new career (I'm on #3 right now if you count the stay at home years)
3.  Travel to China
4.  Visit all the continents
5.  Douse the OW with buckets of cold water for hours on end until she feels the excruciating kind of pain to which she has contributed
6.  Tell the cousin off and throw her into the water with the OW
7.  Buy a hot bikini  (I've lost 30 or so pounds since this began.  The one good thing I guess.  Only 20 more to go)
8.  Find an exercise I like enough to do daily
9.  Continue to be an awesome parent. 
10.  Be happy.

Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: OldPilot on September 01, 2010, 04:09:41 PM
You might be able to hit "modify" and fix it.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: stillhere on September 01, 2010, 04:11:45 PM
Thanks OP--as always, very helpful.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: ForeverHopefulOne on September 01, 2010, 04:16:46 PM
SH, LOVE the buckets of water bit!  Can I throw my H's OW in there too???
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: stillhere on September 01, 2010, 05:04:20 PM
FHO we can rent a giant dunk tank and put them all in there.  Just need to make sure the water is icy and smelly.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: ForeverHopefulOne on September 01, 2010, 06:28:36 PM
Hahaha!  Maybe throw some fish heads and rotten eggs in there!
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Trustandlove on September 02, 2010, 12:01:17 AM
This is good.

I need a new list; when this started I set off right away to GAL, without having heard that term used anywhere -- I even called it that....   so I've ditched a pile of things that I had taken on as duties rather than because I really wanted to do them and put that energy into getting a qualification in an area that I love, I'm actually working in that area now and it IS GOING, I've learned to deal with my own computer, cable, etc., my finances are straight and I may even be in a position to save a few pennies for the first time in years, I'm happy with my weight, I go out on my own, continuing to deal with kids' stuff, and so on and so on....

So I need a new list; a project rather than a commitment, I think....  more house stuff?  That feels a bit like admin rather than 'for me', much as I love doing things like that. 

Wonder what it might be?

Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: SpecialK on September 02, 2010, 03:22:34 AM
Mine is nowhere near as impressive as the rest of you, however my short term aims are:

1.  Allow myself to be happy
2.  Believe in myself, trust my inituition
3.  No matter how hard, leave tarot and physics alone - remind myself what I could do with the money, like buy food  :)
4.  Work on my job and learn to enjoy it (I will turn it round and I will not get the sack!)
5.  Stop telling myself I'm useless, I'm no good, I can't do this, I'm not intelligent etc., and change those message
6.  Take control of my finances, something I have never done.  Check my account regularly so that I know how much money I really    do have.
7.  Stop procrastinating - get out there and do stuff, rather than 'gonna' and make excuses not to.

Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Mermaid on September 02, 2010, 04:33:34 AM
Physics or psychics?
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: SpecialK on September 02, 2010, 04:52:50 AM
psychics
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Still on September 02, 2010, 05:28:11 AM
Just to be safe, I am going to leave physics alone.  :o

Too much math involved. LOL!
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: SpecialK on September 02, 2010, 05:40:35 AM
I would even attempt it, maths scares me  ;D
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Mermaid on September 02, 2010, 06:10:15 AM
I think I must be sick in the head, I like maths and physics.

When I can't sleep, I think of little calculations to do in my head. Very relaxing.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Still on September 02, 2010, 06:25:37 AM
Quote
When I can't sleep, I think of little calculations to do in my head. Very relaxing.

 :o :o :o :o :o :o

EEK!
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: SpecialK on September 02, 2010, 06:50:50 AM
Beats counting sheep  ;D
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: ForeverHopefulOne on September 02, 2010, 07:02:02 PM
Mermaid, you have a PhD!  Of course you like math!  You're a smart cookie ;)

Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Mermaid on September 03, 2010, 12:48:36 AM
My PhD is in education. But my first degree was economics. I like the neat logic of it all. That's why it's so comforting.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: ForeverHopefulOne on September 03, 2010, 12:53:39 AM
I get more and more impressed with you every day, Mermaid!

xoxo
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Mermaid on September 03, 2010, 12:57:34 AM
Don't be.

I'm impressed by the skills and qualities of everyone on this platform.
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: Still on January 03, 2011, 05:55:07 PM
How is everyone doing on their "bucket list"?
Title: Re: What is Your MLC "Bucket List"?
Post by: ForeverHopefulOne on January 03, 2011, 05:58:17 PM
Thank you for bumping this up, Still!  I was just thinking of my Bucket List today.  I think I have some revisions; once I have it figured out, I will post it.