Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Sunny on July 20, 2013, 02:19:10 AM
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What are your creative outlets? I'm ten months post day and just starting to feel twinges of creativity. Mine is poetry. I was so depressed and so lost in my marriage, I hardly ever wrote.
I would love to know if creativity has come come back to you and what is your thing?
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Just realised I should have made this into a poll. I don't know how to amend it. Does anyone know?
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Just realised I should have made this into a poll. I don't know how to amend it. Does anyone know?
What items do you want in the poll?
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I don't think it neccessarily needs to be a poll. I understand feeling pushed down in your marrage though. Its been three years since my BD and I am finally thinking about creative outlets. I do read so much more then I had for the longest time. When I was younger reading almost defined me more than anything else but by the last 5+ years of my marriage I almost never read anything except the occasional magazine or newspaper. Now I'm reading entire books again. In fact I might join a book club!
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Since so many of us are limited in GALing opportunities because of funds or situation, I thought I would start a list of some of the great online learning opportunities that have helped so many of us use this time to enrich our lives and our skill sets. Some are free, some have a nominal fee either per class or subscription, but all kind of rock. :) Please add to this!
Coursera (free; on a schedule)
https://www.coursera.org/
Large range of topics from major universities around the world.
Lynda.com (subscription - but follow them on Facebook and watch for free classes a few times a month; on demand)
http://www.lynda.com/
Creative, business, and tech courses from professionals.
Lumosity (free with limits, subscription for unlimited use; on demand)
http://www.lumosity.com
These are simple on-line games that aid with brain plasticity. I started doing these early on to keep my mind healthy.
TED-ED (free; on demand)
http://ed.ted.com/
An array of topics. Would also recommend watching TED talks for inspiration.
FinerMinds (free; on demand)
http://www.finerminds.com/
Inspiration and instruction on spiritual and consciousness topics.
Skillshare (fee per class; on demand participation once content is available)
http://www.skillshare.com/classes
Creative, business, and tech courses, from some big names! Pricing ranges from very low per course.
Open Culture (free; on demand and searches for things in your area)
http://www.openculture.com/
Extremely comprehensive list of learning resources for fun, certificates, and includes K-12 learners too for doing things with the kids. Lots of topics, and free textbooks, ebooks, and audiobooks resources.
previous thread: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=69.0
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Big thanks to Anjae and kikki for turning me on to several of these! They have absolutely made a huge difference with self-focus for me - and helped me in my career as well as revisit old creative projects!
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I love Luminosity...we need to get some of these things posted permanently..this one.. the sleep one...maybe a food one..an exercise one...SERIOUSLY!!
We need to get some SELF CARE things posted separately.
That's what all of this comes down to. SELF CARE! Emotional, mental, physical ,spiritual, holistic, whatever you want to call it.
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Agreed!!!! There's some great fitness and dance workouts posted for free on YouTube - time to get those organized from my bookmarks too! :) I think we get started with this for our survival, but once we settle in it can become amazing enhancements to our new lifestyle - and it starts to take our minds away from this being a bad thing that we are a victim of to where it becomes an opportunity for growth.
An upside is this doesn't matter whether we're standers or not - none of these things will take away from a life with a new person or a 'renewed' person - but will serve to make you more whole and happy. :)
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That's RIGHT! Whether whatever happens... happens it really helps everybody with a HEALTHY direction for yourself!!!
YOU FELLAS ALSO!!! Actually ESPECIALLY!
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What an excellent idea, Ready2. :)
edX
https://www.edx.org/ (mainly Harvard and MIT, free, on a schedule)
Memrise
http://www.memrise.com/ (free, to my knowledge we can go there and do the courses whenever we want, they are more for self training than to gain a certificate like Coursera of edX)
Archive.org
http://archive.org/index.php (free online library with books, films, images, music, documents and many other things).
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Adult ed classes here are free now! If you need prerequisites or something the science, math, english are on line. This may vary nationally or even among school districts but worth checking if people are re-training. Some community colleges here have elder college [free-ish if over a certain age--I would rather pay than admit my age ::) ].
Thank you for coursera. I flunked guitar but the art course was great. Philosophy next. I'm taking all the courses I had no time for at university.
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Love this. Cant wait to see what the links hold. Very exciting. Thank you. Dont have anything to add right now, but hope to.
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Great thread! thanks for sharing.
By the way.. my H started playing the games on Luminosity a few months back. How weird! Good luck with improving that MLC brain! Lol
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There's a great site for crossword puzzles also at boatload.com I think that's what it was called.
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Bump because I updated the list of course resources with a great new one. I don't know how I missed this link for crosswords, In It, but that's going to be a huge time suck now. Thank you! :D Love those!!
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I signed up for Communication Science a while ago but it doesn't start until after the first of the year.. THANK YOU CALAMITY for posting the info about Coursera on here!!
I am really excited about it!!! Almost feels like I might go to college right in my livingroom!
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Yay I love this thread. Thank you so much. I did coursera course thanks to anjae recommending it. Ted is awesome.
Thanks ready2 for starting this. I will try and think of any links.
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This is a good idea :) When I'm shut in, I look for competitions to enter either in the newspaper or online, local comps are the best as they have fewer entries. I also look for freebies when I've got some time to spare, when I'm not on forums that is :)
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I did a search and couldn't find anything on this topic so if this is a repeat, my apologies.
One of the first things we are told in the early stages is to GAL (Get a Life). Some of us may have already had activities, but if you were like me, I had really "lost" myself over time and had fallen into a repetitive cycle, with very little, if any, self-sustaining activities that made me happy!
Sometimes, GAL might be one of the hardest things to get started; we get so wrapped up in our MLC'er and our sitch, it's hard to focus on ourselves and come up with ideas and things to do (this was my problem early on)! A good GAL hobby can also turn into a fun way to make some extra cash on the side if that's your preference / need!
This thread will hopefully encourage you to share you GAL activities and ideas to help out vets and new friends who find themselves here; a way to help them kick-start their GAL! Get away from your sitch for a bit and let us know what YOU are doing for yourself, or, get some ideas to get you going on YOUR path! This is for you / LBS; leave you MLC'er on your thread!
I'll get it started:
Social GAL: Since I am a Military Vet, I joined my local VFW. This was one of the best things since I really had no social life outside of a couple close friends & work (if you can call co-workers social). This let's me connect with other vets, share stories & memories, shoot some pool and participate in volunteer work that supports our post and fellow veterans. I have made a lot of new friends at this and it's a safe environment for me!
Hobby GAL: Took up Archery with D10. I have always wanted to get into Archery (have been a huge fan of recreational firearm shooting already) and this gave me something to do & connect with D10. Additionally, the local 4H has free archery shooting / lessons that I can take D10 to so she can interact with other kids her age with the same interest. I live out in the county so I have the additional benefit of shooting in my own back yard and can do this daily just to relax and relieve stress! Plan on deer hunting this fall with friends and putting my skills to practical use!
Hobby GAL: Building Cigar Box Guitars! This is a new one within last couple weeks! I have played guitar for years (self taught) and took a years worth of lessons after I retired from Army. Always wanted to build my own guitar and CBG's are so cheap and easy, I finally built one recently using some pictures, a couple of instructional articles and my own knowledge on the mechanics of the instrument. The thing actual works and plays good for being made out of "junk" parts, about $10 worth of wood and a box! This gave me a huge boost from the feeling of accomplishment and can't wait to build the next one! Already have a couple of build requests from friends for themselves and as gifts! There is also a couple places where I can put these up for consignment and make a few bucks to sustain the hobby for a bit!
Practical GAL: Home improvement projects. Who says you can't continue to refine your home or that new apartment! Nothing says personal touch like a custom mod or piece of furniture unique to your own style and crafting! Currently, I am planning an entire set of patio furniture made completely from recycled wood / pallets. Lot's of cool design ideas on the internet as well as "up-cycling" ideas for old furniture you may have or find for cheap and a yard sale!
Ongoing / rejuvenated Hobby GAL:
Guitar playing: Had got out of practice and hadn't played much in a while. Got myself back on a practice routine and with the new CBG hobby above, has me playing every day now. I find music very soothing and I get lost in my playing. I just let my finger roll and can stay occupied for hours. D10 takes after me with the love for music and I have been given the opportunity to teach her since she is interested!
Jewelry making: Yep....kind of an odd one for a guy! I have always loved chain-mail jewelry (especially Byzantine chain) and Viking / Norse "rope" jewelry. Got into this for a bit and then let it sit for a while. I have started this up a little again; looking to combine this hobby with the CBG hobby to make "inlay" work on my instruments! Since we live near the ocean and I love the beach, started collecting see shells and using them to make stuff for D10 & friends!
Firearms Shooting: Started hitting the range occasionally and blow of some steam, literally! This isn't for everyone, but there is something empowering about blowing holes in a target and a sense of satisfaction when you can put all 50 rounds through the bulls-eye!!!
~OBO~
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I like that you posted this topic!!
I have been struggling with this a bit myself.
I wrote down a list of things I like and then see where that leads me.
I'm pretty new but I did start on going out with girl friends to lunch which I had never done in this town.
I painted the ceiling and am prepping to paint the walls of the house.
I made a list of projects to do with the house and dug up an entire flower bed outside last Saturday.
Some other options I came up with are church and a divorce support group that meets for 6 weeks.
Also remembered I love to bake so I am going to make home made dog treats for the pets. I don't have kids and I'm shy so it has been hard to just jump in from being a homebody into doing different activities but it does help with the distraction aspect - taking my mind off of the sitch. Baby steps for me.
Volunteering is another good option
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I hope this is the correct area to start this thread. I have seen numerous posts with us LBSer's especially us newbies not knowing what we should do to GAL. Often times our situation leaves many without much if any disposable income.
So why don't we start tossing out low cost or even better NO cost idea for GAL activities. To me it can be just some of the simple pleasures in life. So tonight for me it is filling the tub with bubble bath, lighting a fragrant candle, and just relaxing. AWESOME ;D
Another GAL activity today was instead of my normal grind on the elliptical I took a brisk walk with a good and wise friend. She has walked miles in our shoes and is now in a happy marriage with a great man. She has been a big source of comfort, prayer, and advice for me.
So a walk on a pretty day and a long hot soak in the tub. Simple and free COMFORTING GAL activities!
Bonus: a cup of French Vanilla Decaf (because let's face it we all need our sleep) while soaking.
Now friends I am gonna post this before I drop my phone in the tub and ruin my peace ::) :-\
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Watching I Love Lucy.
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Dancing around the livingroom to my favorite bouncy song. Turn it up loud and cut loose.
This I makes me happy for a little while. I tend to let my stress go. :D :D :D :D
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Great thread idea Bookwrmmom!!
My GAL activities are still restricted to cheap/free due to finances, however there are plenty of options:
1. check online voucher schemes for deals, such as 1/2 price tickets, spa treatments, manicures etc.
2. load up your mp3 and go walking. I have a dog so this has helped me get out daily and explore some gorgeous parks and hills.
3. take up an evening class
4. long phone call with friend
5. meetup.com has loads of different groups and everyone is super friendly
6. visiting local museums, National Trust properties
7. get involved with an arts group- a local theatre, a community arts centre, etc
8. volunteer
9. check events section in local newspaper
10. check out locak library/bookshops, explore sections you wouldn't normally bother with, eg. poetry, arts and crafts, science fiction, crime/mystery.
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One the nicest things I have done is join a Book Club. One of my friends invited me to join her book club which included several Mum's I knew from school.
It has been great to get out of my comfort zone and read books which I wouldn't otherwise choose (as we take it in turns to decide what books to read!). There are so many books which have an adulterous husband or wife in them....and funnily enough none of the authors ever quite describe the level of hurt and devastation sufficiently. I have had many a discussion with the ladies in my Book Club (I am the only one divorced but actually can see they are not all in happy marriages) which have challenged their preconceptions and well meaning advice.
I have also set myself an annual charity challenge - I have walked the Yorkshire 3 Peaks and done the London Moonwalk and raised a huge amount of money in the past 4 years. Helping others really does motivate me to carry on even when I don't want to!!
I have also revived the old art of card writing!! I will often send my friends and loved ones cards and notes to tell them how much I love them or just to stay in touch. In this data age it seems an envelope with a stamp on it dropping through the letterbox is really appreciated.
I took on the care of a little pooch from my niece about 3 years ago - this little mutt hardly costs us anything in terms of food but he has brought us so much love and joy it is amazing!
I joined a group called Litterarti which meets on the last Saturday of every month for two hours and clears our local roads of rubbish and debris. I love this band of rag tag and bobtail people - we have such a laugh and it has meant I have connected with local people and invested in my local area.
I volunteer at my children's school for their second hand uniform sales and garden party, it is hard work (but only four or five times over the school year) but keeps me connected to other parents and my kids peers!
I have to say I think GAL is an attitude and I went into 2010 (BD was 30.9.09) saying 'yes' to everything - the benefit of which I am still seeing today!
Great thread.
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Thank you all so much and hopefully we can keep the ideas coming. I truly need to get into more pleasure reading myself, but right now my focus has been on educating myself about this change of direction in my life. I need to MAKE myself read something other then MLC or marriage help material.
So tonight I think I am going to run another bubble bath and take a nice smutty romance novel with me :o
Although that may NOT be the best choice of reading material right now either!
One activity I enjoy is crochet and I WISH in my small city there were more groups that got together for craft/crochet activities. I checked out meetup.com and the closest groups were Raleigh and that is about a 2 hour drive for me :-\
Tomorrow I am going to a Women's Conference for the afternoon/early evening for fellowship, dinner, and bible study. It is the 3rd year of the event at my local church and my first time attending. I wanted to get a girlfriend or my Mom to go with me, but wasn't able to and I have purchased the ticket & going it alone. I will know plenty of the women there so no worries, I will have a good time I am sure.
The following week I will be taking a conceal/carry class (shooting/gun) in my area that I have been meaning to take for years. It is a day long class and my Mom is taking that class with me. My H is still (wanted me to do it long ago) encouraging me to take the class. His exact words were "do it" as there have been women in our area approached at night and robbed, etc.
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bookwrmmom, I've merged your thread with two previously existent on GAl so that all the ideas are in one place.
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Thanks Anjae!!
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I "think" I know what this means, but vaguely , and with no real revelations or peace. I am trapped in the "trauma circle" ( say the therapists) and I know this is true. I think of nothing but the betrayal , the lies and relive the pain like it all happened yesterday. It is true. I live like that. I NEED to change this. I try to GAL.. i visit with friends, I sew , I walk and love to sit by the fire and read. I try to be "gentle " with myself. I am working on the 30 day Forgiveness Challenge. I have read every book there is to Overcome Affairs. I have no real sense of ME. Who am I ? the question creates anxiety. My identity as his wife is gone. I liked that identity. I clearly am not "working on ME "... as i have not met ME since this happened. Tell me how you all do this and what it means to each of you. Maybe there is peace there .. I need that.
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Hi barbie,
I have to disagree. You are working on yourself. You're asking yourself tough questions and digging deep. No one ever said finding the answers was easy. The answers will come. You are still H's wife, only now you want more than that. This ordeal tends to make us realize there's more.
It took me years to crawl out of the pit I was in. I tried everything just as you're doing. You'll get there. Be kind to yourself. Your pain is not unique and most of us have gone through the same turmoil. I found things changed for me when I let those things that were eating me up go. It was simply exhausting. It's a choice, just like everything else. Choose to let it go, and start to heal.
Take good care
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Menow.. I like your answer! Thank you. Maybe working on ME is something that is just naturally happening as I do ask myself hard questions, I confront thoughts about so many things that just layed dormant under what i thought was a secure safe mariage. So some of this "work" is just part of the process and not as concrete as imagined. I am impatient for peace and joy.. I am trying to catch it as it runs from me.
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It takes time to find "me" again. After decades of being "us", the journey you must take to find me is hard; its uncomfortable. It feels unnatural.
I agree with MN, you are inching your way forward. As you progress, it will become easier and you will take bigger steps quicker. Sometimes you will pause, sometimes you will question yourself and retrace your footsteps, but you will continue to move forward. There is a quote which reads, “When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on - or you will be taught how to fly.”
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Menow.. I like your answer! Thank you. Maybe working on ME is something that is just naturally happening as I do ask myself hard questions, I confront thoughts about so many things that just layed dormant under what i thought was a secure safe mariage. So some of this "work" is just part of the process and not as concrete as imagined. I am impatient for peace and joy.. I am trying to catch it as it runs from me.
That's right. You're moving along just as you're supposed to. Each of us has a different timetable. I think you are sensitive and what happened really hurt you in a place deep inside. It takes time to pick up the broken pieces.
Hugs
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Barbie, I was the same as you early on. One day I realized that all those overcoming affairs books weren't helping and I stopped wasting my money. The problem I had with them is that they kept focusing me on the affair. So I started reading different types of self-help books. I started with one on co-dependency and moved on to ones about anger, about healing from abandonment, etc. That's my experience, for whatever its worth.
It takes time and energy and, for many of us, being away from them and their mess. I didn't really start to heal until he moved out. A year later, I don't even recognize the person I became when MLC hit.
We do lose ourselves both to our marriages and then to the crisis. I did all kinds of stuff in the beginning just to distract myself. I joined a gym, got my navel pierced, took dance lessons...anything to stop me from thinking about what he might be doing. Some thing have stuck, others haven't. The way I look at it is that we are similar to teenagers who are discovering themselves.
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I tried to set tiny goals.. little things and take pleasure in simple things.
Once again..I went through a huge grieving period kind of like the 5 stages of dying. Although that sounds negative at the other end is the postives.
My relationship died with my teenage children this time. So I've had to let go of quite a bit.
Still I have met other people who have put my own life into perspective.
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I struggle the most when I look ahead at an uncertain future. When I focus on the moment things don't seem so bad... Most of the time. Having been with my w since 19, looking back to who I was/what I did before isn't an option. I know I missed some personal development having lived with her from that age to 37. I'm not one for self help books. For me it's really all about learning who I am as I go. I have identified some issues I have (passive agressive, never living in the moment, procrastinating) and am working on changing those.
I just thought of this... Someday I like my new life, others I dont. I'm going to try to do more of the things I did on the days I liked. Maybe that will help?? Trial and error I suppose. When I'm home alone and I'm down I put on some music and force myself to move. I clean, paint, cook etc. it seems to help.
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Barbiedoll,
we are in different places in our journey - you are in a repair/reconcillation phase and I am in a totally been discarded phase but what we have very similar is that we are maybe both trapped in the "trauma circle".
I am working on detachment, I am working on letting go. My pain, my need for answers, truths , understanding is causing me I think to be stuck. I am trying hard to figure out who I am now. For 22 years, I was his wife, for 5 before that I was his girlfriend. I was his everything. It was me and him living the life together in love and now I am nothing. He left as my role as a Mother was changing. Teenagers need their Mom's in a different way. Still needed but different. So not only has my identity as a wife but as a Mother been challenged.
I too maintain myself - I get out and I take care of me with friends, family and things I like to do. But it does not have the same quality right now. At times it feels right and at others it is false. I read and read, looking for anything that will help me out of this pit of pain I keep finding myself returning to. I try different methods of coping only to return to my safe haven of my marital bed. It is the only place, I feel safe right now.
People around me do not see me working on me either. They think I am wallowing. They don't want to talk about it with me. They only want me to be laughing, smiling. I know I am wallowing to an extent but I really am trying to process it all. I too want to return to ME. I too want balance, peace and for once not be struck with fear, anxiety and pain of it all.
So I continue to be a work in progress.
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I'm sorry, those are a lot of changing identities to face all at once. I feel for you but you are right, we are at different places. My w is in the early stages of replay and I only get my little ones 1/2 the time. Very few here are in an enviable stage. We are all still a work in progress, will be for years (forever?). It's good that you realize sometimes it feels "normal", that's progress. Today is the first day in 15 weeks I feel any sense of normal. I'm guessing this is how it happens... Very slowly and with lots of backsliding.
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I find poetry to be a great healer. Limericks are great because they are a little mean and a little dirty by nature. Here is a sample. There are so many eloquent people on this forum. Let's see what we can come up with to help us all heal and perhaps forget our troubles for a moment...
A man in Excelsior in crisis
His wife he left in a tri-sis
He hooked up with Michelle
His life went to hell
Please pity that man from Excelsior!
Haiku is fun too....remember the 5/7/5 format..
My love lies broken
Crisis controlling our life
Must stand in patience
Or there is the classic Iambic Pentameter..
Pushing and shoving, ache threatens love
I will not yield
My decision to stand from above
Confusion and hurt tempting friends
I will not yield
Healing myself my goal, my end
Hatred and anger ring loud
I will not yield
Forgiveness and love must win out
My soul so at risk
I will not yield
Myself defined, awaits love's first kiss
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Ruby, I've merged your threads. Please be so kind to stick to a single one until it reaches 150 post/16 pages. It is easier for us to follow you, your story, your thoughts/ideas and it also allows board resouces to be spared. Thank you.
Creativity is a great healer and a very good way of dealing with a spouse MLC. Early on I got into writing poetry, of late I'm into photography.
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Thank you Anjae. Will do! I am new to this.
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I have re-split this topic because it was not part of the story thread, but was a topic thread instead. I gave it the Mirror icon, but the Off-Topic icon may be appropriate as well. It is Off-Topic in that it--so far--is not about MLC or the situation, but Mirror-Work because creativity is Mirror-Work.
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We have this Gal Ideas thread that is more or less the same. Think they could be merged. If so, than this post can be deleted.
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4073.0 - GAL Ideas
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I wrote this a while ago as I was trying to deal with all that is going on. Poetry is something I used to love to do, and I think it got eaten away by my care-giving codependency over the years. But it does help me cope....
Lonely Shadows
In the quiet shadows,
Of my lonely bed,
I flit between my thoughts,
And dreams within my head,
I ponder all the tears I've cried,
Mistakes that I have made,
And despise my broken soul,
For the price that we have paid,
But then I think of your sweet smile,
The smell of your flowing hair,
Eyes of green with golden flecks,
And it pushes back despair,
No matter what may lay ahead,
On this road I now trod alone,
I will always have my memories,
Kept deep within my soul,
I'll think of you quite often,
And wonder where you are,
What other arms may hold you,
Who resides within your heart,
Do you think of me at all now,
Or are the memories only mine,
To flip through and be my company,
As I drift away in through time,
Tonight I lay here thinking,
Of the love that once was true,
And drift asleep to dreaming,
Of my memories of you....
-The Raven- (My pen name from long ago)
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I also wrote this, as a form of catharsis in an attempt to prepare myself for "goodbye".
Good-Bye To Tigger
In a flash of unexpected brilliance you came into my life. Since
that time we have loved with passion, fought like monsters,
cried like children, laughed like maniacs, and lived this life together
with a zest for adventure unmatched by any story ever told.
While the scars have been real and deep, so has the
compassion and sincerity. We will never be able to erase the
hurts we gave to each other, but that is ok. Each of those hurts
helped us, in the end to grow closer together.
Now that I face having to say good-bye, my thoughts race through
all the undone things I yet hoped we'd do together, and all the
words still as yet unsaid. I always pictured our "good-bye" as a
parting "farewell" as one of us slipped from this life to the next,
knowing we would see each other again, hold each other again.
But I cannot alter what course you have set yourself on, and it
is clear you prefer I not accompany you for hte rest of your
journey. So know that my love remains, inside this flawed and
imperfect shell. And when you finally make that last trip, many
years down your road, think fondly of me, and recall how I cried
when I was forced to say....
Good-Bye
-The Raven-
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Spirit: those are really lovely. Please keep writing!
Writer's spirit mine
Lay myself bare for the world
Share with you my heart
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Today's batch of poetry.
In Minnesota an OW called Michelle
Was living her own special hell
Her husband she hated
So another's she dated
So cold in Minnesota for Michelle
You
In your eyes glimmers of light, of you
Fading, flickering, energy surging
Confusion the force
In your heart moments of love, of you
Tender one moment, hate filled the next
Your head, not your heart lead the way
In your soul lives your story, lives you
Familiar one moment, a stranger the next
Your choices, your life, all you
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Anyone care to share their tips for keeping yourself happy and sane?
Yesterday I went to knitters Meetup group and met some fascinating people.
Last week, I went on an off road excursion to GeoCache.
What did you do for yourself?
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I ride my pony , it is so good for the soul and keeps me fit . People tell me that my face lights up when I talk about what pony and I have been up to . I also love my garden I can spend hours just pottering around .
Callan
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Facials, pedicures, manicures, prescription for Chantix and gaining back some of the weight I had lost.
I'm determined to be healthier and feel better through this journey.
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I'm currently painting my apartment. Riding sounds like a really good thing to do! Good to meet new people OffRoad!
I've also had some nice people wanting me to try their skin care product for free! It's really makes my skin look nice.
Can't wait to get a garden started and I love naps with my cat.
H.H.H. if you have ever been depressed? I wouldn't suggest using Chantix. Some people use it with no side effects. It took me down a big time rabblt hole. Just stay aware. ((HUGS))
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A few weeks ago I splurged on a massage (wish I could do this more often). I have been painting some canvas frames to create artwork to put on the walls of the rental home I moved into at the beginning of December. I crochet, and this helps me to relax and feel creative.
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I've ordered my bike for the summer.
One like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjKW6SDHwUI
Lanzo
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After hit-and-miss attempts over the last few years to start playing music again, I'm sitting down in the evenings with my acoustic guitar and just playing through some songs. I've been looking up old things I loved on some of the tab sites, and familiarizing myself with them again. This was such a big part of my life with Hoss, but also my life before Hoss. That's the part I'm focusing on, and it's really nice!
Also trying new recipes from Pinterest. Baking is something that's really a new passion. Made the best lemon sugar cookies in the world last week. Take a lemon cake mix, 1/3 cup oil, and two eggs to make the dough, then bake them at 375 F for around 8-10 minutes (until the tops crack and the bottoms are golden brown. Bliss!
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I bought myself some new denim shorts that fit really well and a couple cute sleeveless tops. I never buy clothes for myself so that was a big thing for me.
We also go for a two mile walk on the highway just about every night. We've been using our walks as trip planning discussion time so that has been fun.
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After hit-and-miss attempts over the last few years to start playing music again, I'm sitting down in the evenings with my acoustic guitar and just playing through some songs. I've been looking up old things I loved on some of the tab sites, and familiarizing myself with them again. This was such a big part of my life with Hoss, but also my life before Hoss. That's the part I'm focusing on, and it's really nice!
I do this too! I'm not that good but I'm getting better. Self taught and trying! I read too which is enlightening and fulfilling. I'm often very tired so don't get a lot of time to myself in the evenings but I try and do some nice things. Still not watching much television but I occasionally watch movies on netflix. Maybe we should have a film discussion thread or book discussion thread?
Love the poems btw, beautiful and very healing.
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One of my friends was telling me about attending meetings organized on meetup.com. Various groups meeting to pursue all kinds of interests, church activities, hobbies, play dates, or just holding social get togethers for conversation, friendship, and food. Could be a lot of fun, depending on where you live.
http://www.meetup.com/
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One of my friends was telling me about attending meetings organized on meetup.com. Various groups meeting to pursue all kinds of interests, church activities, hobbies, play dates, or just holding social get togethers for conversation, friendship, and food. Could be a lot of fun, depending on where you live.
http://www.meetup.com/
Meetup's are a good option. There are several people on the forum that go them regularly. I recently went to one where we played charades all night - it was a lot if fun!
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One of my friends was telling me about attending meetings organized on meetup.com. Various groups meeting to pursue all kinds of interests, church activities, hobbies, play dates, or just holding social get togethers for conversation, friendship, and food. Could be a lot of fun, depending on where you live.
http://www.meetup.com/
+1 Best thing EVER!!! Where else would I find a bunch of people to drive off road with me that don't want to just rock crawl?
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I cleaned the mud out of my engine compartment (after getting mud in my engine compartment), watched Pretty Little Liars with my D, walk three times a week on a trail that makes me serene, and I learned how to query a nonSQL database. Really, it's pretty cool!
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Facial, mani, pedi, massage. Bought higher end lotions and clothes that fit!!
I've also started reading again. A passion of mine that I had tossed to the wayside.
And I don't have to hear a TV playing constantly. ::)
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Flirted with the LOHS.
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I spent the day out in the sunshine, pulling weeds and mowing. There is something very satisfying in making the yard and gardens look nice. I live in the boonies where nobody ever sees my efforts, except the guy across the road and the old lady at the end of the mile, but I like it to look pretty and it is finally getting there. We're going out again tomorrow morning before it gets hot so we can do the rest of it.
I have also been sewing. I haven't done that in a long, long time, but I needed a tote bag for my trip and never found what I wanted so I decided to buy fabric and make one. It's been challenging, since I made up my own pattern, but I am enjoying the challenge.