Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses

Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: JustFine&Dandy on September 23, 2010, 07:02:12 AM

Title: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: JustFine&Dandy on September 23, 2010, 07:02:12 AM: Hi, I am very new into this journey (BD one month ago), and I just started posting yesterday (here is my story http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=385.0 (http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=385.0))

Today, I'm really trying to stay positive. I have some errands to run that will get me out of the house (and away from H) and I'm meeting a good friend for lunch. I thought it would be good for me to make a list of everything I am grateful for. Please feel free to add if you want.

1. My faith in a higher power. This brings me inner peace and strength when times are tough.

2. My wonderful son and daughter. They are such a blessing and we have a great relationship. They are 13 and 14 and are well adjusted. They do not know everything going on, but I know they will get through this as they learn more.

3. I have supportive family and friends. Lately I've been trying to reconnect and strengthen my friendship with positive friends.

4. I am healthy.

5. I am independent.

6. I have a career that pays well, and I do not completely depend on H financially.

7. I am blessed that my employer has an EAP program that allows for up to six free counseling sessions. My counselor understands MLC and believes marriages should be preserved.

8. I found this great site with wonderful articles and a supportive community!!!

9. Even though H has hurt me deeply, I am capable of showing unconditional love and forgiving him.

10. I am learning not to blame myself for this crisis, and I am learning about the journey H is going through.

11. I am able to proudly wear my wedding ring, and I do not have to remove it to try to justify behavior. I do not have to hide my hand in my pocket when I see old friends and family.

12. I am able to live my life without the shame and self-loathing that happens when people make bad decisions.

13. I can look my kids in the eye and spend time with them without feeling guilty.

14. I am not running away from an internal demon and turning to destructive ways to feel better.

15. I have a beautiful home with woods so I can go on walks and enjoy nature.

Thanks, I think today is going to be a better day than yesterday...
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Mermaid on September 23, 2010, 07:07:57 AM: Thanks for posting this, it is very positive.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Still on September 23, 2010, 12:03:38 PM: Thanks for posting this, Sharon.

Though this journey has been difficult, I am incredibly blessed to have a God that loves me and keeps his arm around my shoulder (and his hand over my mouth, when necessary). I know that he is with me no matter what.

I am so thankful for my children. My adult daughter is a wonderful friend to me, but allows me to do the mothering that I need to do. My twins10 are healthy and happy. They make me laugh everyday at the innocence they still have. They desperately still want to believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but know that logically those things do not exist. They still play the role to keep Mom young at heart.

I am thankful for the man my husband was.....for the man who I pray someday returns. I am glad he still lives here, still pays the bills, and still sits at the dinner table with us.

I am so thankful for my church family. They have known my H since he was a boy. They understand we have difficulties. They support us as a family, but do not interfere in the paths we need to walk.

I am so thankful for friends who keep tabs on my family and try to include us as much as possible.

I am thankful for a job with an employer that understands when I need a "mental health" day. An employer who cares about me and my family situation.

I am thankful for a wonderful home that I love being in at a location I find peaceful and safe.

I could go on and on, but my life is amazing in so many ways.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: IM AZ on November 09, 2010, 01:37:38 PM: "In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel "burnout" setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective." :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Buggy31 on November 09, 2010, 07:21:14 PM: Good inspiration for dark/NC
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Phoenix on December 29, 2010, 08:56:09 AM: Dear Sisters and Brothers on the MLC Journey,
This piece was forwarded to me today and I thought there might be comfort and inspiration in it for others as well. It did not arrive with a copyright notation or indication that it could not be shared, so I trust that is the case. I am not to this point of "awakening" yet, but I dream of the day that it is so, and I can finally finally exchange the grief and pain for joy and hope.
Wishing all of us a brighter New Year,
Phoenix

A New Year, A New You!
By Virginia Swift

2011 holds great potential for you...because you are here. You want something different. The affair in your life has been a wake up call. It is a catalyst that puts you on a new superhighway of personal awareness and dedicated action.

You want to learn, to transform your life and your relationships. Yes, you can do it. Yes, you will do it. You want to awaken a new you!

One of you sent me this short article which paints a picture of who you and all of us can become. Read it. Print it out. Carry it with you. Reflect. Have this be your guiding light, your vision for you in 2011. As you do, you will find that you will become exceedingly attractive. Cool!

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions). And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop b!tc#ing and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children of what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything: it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms...just to make you happy.

And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up". You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch...and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest.

And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LifeGoesOn on December 29, 2010, 09:38:14 AM: I received this in Dr Bob's newsletter recently. I am not sure I agree with all of the points (still processing), but it is certainly thought provoking and inspirational.

Thanks for posting it!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: xyzcf on December 29, 2010, 10:56:19 AM: Wonderful, what a way to start focusing on the New year and a new life. Thank you for posting it!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Still on December 29, 2010, 11:53:19 AM: Great post. So much of it truly resonated with me. New year and new opportunities for a better us!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: With Gods Help! on February 22, 2011, 05:45:16 PM: Hi everyone found this and thought the words and quotes were really helpful so wanted to share them xxx

No matter how defeated you feel on some days, don’t allow yourself to stay down. Work along with God, to pull yourself up. The Bible
says in Philippians 4:13-14, “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth into those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus!” So in other words, Press on, reaching for victory.

I’m reminded of Eric Liddell (the man who won an olympic race and was featured in the movie, “Chariots of Fire”). In an earlier race, Eric was a strong favorite to win the 440 yard dash at the 1923 Triangular International. However, 15 yards after the start, he laid sprawled across the track infield — the victim of an intentional tripping incident.

At that point he had a decision to make, to give up or to finish the race. Eric decided to pick himself up and resume his race. With the finish line drawing near, Eric Liddell drew upon his upmost reserves. In the end, he crossed the tape 3 yards ahead of his nearest competitor… the man who tripped him.

Now of course, not all endings are as glorious as this one. But the biggest point isn’t whether Eric won or not, but rather what he did when he was faced with defeat — the loss of a dream that he worked so very hard at — one that appeared to be sabotaged (& for you, it is the loss of an “untainted” marriage caused by your husband’s cheating). Eric could have laid there and cried and screamed “foul” — which he would have been justified in doing. But instead, he reached within and grabbed onto the courage to “finish the race” … and thankfully, he did it well.

That’s what I’m suggesting for you when you go through those times of feeling defeated. It’s easy to concentrate on the “foul” that has been thrust at you as a wife… not only did your husband trip you, he pushed you into a horrible nightmare. Keep asking God to show you how to proceed from “this day forward” “reaching forth” so you are able to “press on” in life… looking for what God wants to do in your life now and in the future. You will never forget what has happened to you, but you don’t have to keep living in the past. You and God can build a future together.

As for this child being a living reminder, yes, it’s a difficult situation to be thrust into. But God does His best work in us when we are faced with that which is most difficult.

I’ve just gone through a Beth Moore Bible Study on the book of Esther. It’s titled, “Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman”… and it is. In this Bible study, I learned several things about how to be a woman of honor even when others throw dirt on you. A few things Beth brought up in this study that might inspire you (as it has me in different ways) is:

– “Sometimes God works through miracles and other times through the individual.”
– “When we trust our lives to the unseen but ever-present God, He will write our lives into His story and every last one of them will turn out to be a great read, with a grand ending.”
– “You cannot amputate your history from your destiny (& the history of what your husband did against you and your marriage is now part of your journey in life). You cannot become the person you’re to become without your history. God will tie it together — that’s what redemption is.”
– “Maybe God allows ‘Hamans’ (or troubles) to come along so we’ll quit being so at home here on earth.”
– “God will often use something huge to turn us into another direction — a direction He wants us to head down (instead of the path we used to be headed down). It will often be a crisis that God will use to pivot our direction.”
– “Remember, destiny appoints one, but affects many.”
– “God never hangs a veil over our understanding accidentally. He is intentional. There is a reason. And the reason may be that He is calling you to faith.”
– “Esther came to what many would call her ‘defining moment.’” It’s important to be on the watch, for what ours is as well.
– “You may be one brave decision away from an important step in your destiny.”
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Faith on February 22, 2011, 10:55:06 PM: Thank you. This is the exact reminded I needed tonight.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: truth_seeker on March 04, 2011, 12:28:02 PM: So often we're so focused on the bad things that happen that I thought a change might be needed to lift our spirits. I know I often need to remind myself good things happen when we least expect it.

Would love to hear of some other miracles that have happened in your lives and hopefully we'll have more to share so others can keep strong during our journey through MLC land.

Here's some of the miracles that have happened to me since BD 9/10 and my H move out in 12/10.

1. Intuition told me to get a financial agreement document done & notarized end of 11/10 before my H's move-out.

2. 12/10 was almost in a multi-car accident with my car nearly going off embankment and spun around several times before stopping horizontally in the center of a one lane highway with cars coming in both directions. All cars stopped just in time to avoid hitting me. All cars were going at a relatively fast speed so it's truly a miracle they all were able to stop in time. I would have been hit on all sides since I was sitting the center of the road.

3. 10/10 D was in a school bus accident which rolled over multiple times over embankment and stopped short of falling into pond at bottom. All on bus made it out ok with some injuries. Angles were truly watching over these kids that day because if you had seen the bus after you would have thought there's no way any one could have survived.

4. A few days ago this week, I was rear ended while stopped at a stop light. Nothing serious but again shook up. I let the young girl off but made sure she was ok before letting her leave. She was more shook up than me. :o

5. Yesterday while heading back from my S game I had a flat tire in the middle of no man's land. It was dark with very little cars as it was late at night. Just when I was calling around trying to find a local towing company (that was even open) a car pulls up across the street. A nice man and his W come out to ask if we needed any help, then proceeded to change my tire. (Now, I know the men can do this by themselves with no problem but for a woman who's never changed a tire in her life this was a huge deal).

There is no doubt in my mind these events have all been miracles in my life and my family and I are being well protected and guarded. I thank God every day for the many blessings in my life and these are just but a few of them.

Please share yours as well. I would LOVE to hear them as I'm sure others would too.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Still on March 04, 2011, 12:33:17 PM: Great thread!

I had a miracle the other day. I went to get my car inspected. The mechanic called me and the bill was pretty big. He told me the car needed front brakes, back brakes, and two back tires. He said it was pretty serious.

So, I paid the bill. He walked me in the back and said, "Ma'am it is a miracle you didn't have a serious accident." He showed me two sets of brakes that had virtually nothing to them. Then, he pulled out my tires. Both tires were shredded on the insides. They had all the wires sticking out and looked like someone have peeled the top layers off. He said, "I can't imagine how either tire was holding air."

I take my kids everywhere and I am so thankful that nothing happened. The kids and I even said a prayer about it when we got back home.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Battlefield on March 22, 2011, 04:18:54 PM: I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!... I will not give up, give in, give out or give over 'til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words... in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad...so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down 'til the breakdown is torn down!

I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous... nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God's real thing, nor will I seek to lower God's standard, twist God's will, violate God's covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!

In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness.

I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit.. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.

I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Covenant for Life on March 22, 2011, 06:15:12 PM: I love this!! I saw this for the first time on the Rejoice Marriage Ministries site. Is this where you found it?
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Battlefield on March 22, 2011, 09:43:15 PM: Yes I came across it today and thought I would share, I loved it.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Tsunami on April 13, 2011, 12:31:12 PM: Carrots, Eggs, & Coffee!

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!

May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: In this for ME on April 13, 2011, 12:47:09 PM: AMEN!!!
Our minister told a story (kind of a joke) this last sunday:

A man died of a heart attack saw the white light and the whole bt-
Then an angel was standing there.

He thought to himself "Wow I'm really here; I made it!"

So he asks the angel "What happens next?"

The angel says
"Whatever you wish"

So the man wishes for a big plate of fried chicken. POOF! Fried chicken..no bones and delicious

He asks agian "What happens next?"
The angel says "whatever you wish"
The man says "gee I'd like a big reclining chair" POOf!- he's sitting in a big reclining chair.

Then he says "what happens next?"
The angel says "whatever you wish".

The man wishes for a big cold glas of beer POOF!- the coldest iciest glass of beer he ever had.

And this goes on for quite some time. The man wishes and gets everything he asks for.

After a while he grows discontent and is dissappointed.
He asks the angel: "Where's the joy and the rapture and peace and contentment and love that I was supposed to feel after I finally made it here to heaven"

The angel replies
"Who said this was heaven??"
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: limitless on April 13, 2011, 01:11:08 PM: Thank you both for those great stories.

Oh, please let me be the coffee!

L
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Faith on April 13, 2011, 08:08:04 PM: I like it!! Thanks for posting Tsunami!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: whyme2 on April 14, 2011, 04:40:04 PM: Priceless my dear friend......

I am going to steal it and pass it on...

<3......M
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: With Gods Help! on May 09, 2011, 03:58:23 PM: The Journey to the Emotional Frontier Within - emotional defense mechanisms

"I had to become aware that there were such things as emotions that lived in my body and then I had to start learning how to recognize and sort them out. I had to become aware of all the ways that I was trained to distance myself from my feelings."

"We cannot learn to Love without honoring our Rage! We cannot allow ourselves to be Truly Intimate with ourselves or anyone else without owning our Grief."

"Emotions are energy. Actual physical energy that is manifested in our bodies. Emotions are not thoughts - they do not exist in our mind. Our mental attitudes, definitions, and expectations can create emotional reactions, can cause us to get stuck in emotional states - but thoughts are not emotions. The intellectual and emotional are two distinctly separate though intimately interconnected parts of our being. In order to find some balance, peace, and sanity in recovery it is vitally important to start separating the emotional from the intellectual and to start setting boundaries with, and between, the emotional and mental parts of our self."

"Until we can forgive ourselves and Love ourselves we cannot Truly Love and forgive any other human beings - including our parents who were only doing the best they knew how. They, too, were powerless to do anything any different - they were just reacting to their wounds.

It is necessary to own and honor the child who we were in order to Love the person we are. And the only way to do that is to own that child's experiences, honor that child's feelings, and release the emotional grief energy that we are still carrying around."
***
"We cannot learn to Love without honoring our Rage!

We cannot allow ourselves to be Truly Intimate with ourselves or anyone else without owning our Grief.

We cannot clearly reconnect with the Light unless we are willing to own and honor our experience of the Darkness.

We cannot fully feel the Joy unless we are willing to feel the Sadness.

We need to do our emotional healing, to heal our wounded souls, in order to reconnect with our Souls on the highest vibrational levels. In order to reconnect with the God-Force that is Love and Light, Joy and Truth."

Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

Emotions are energy. Actual physical energy that is manifested in our bodies. Emotions are not thoughts - they do not exist in our mind. Our mental attitudes, definitions, and expectations can create emotional reactions, can cause us to get stuck in emotional states - but thoughts are not emotions. The intellectual and emotional are two distinctly separate though intimately interconnected parts of our being. In order to find some balance, peace, and sanity in recovery it is vitally important to start separating the emotional from the intellectual and to start setting boundaries with, and between, the emotional and mental parts of our self.

Many of us learned to live in our heads. To analyze, intellectualize, and rationalize as a defense against feeling our feelings. Some of us went to the other extreme and lived life based on our emotional reactions without any intellectual balance. Some of us would swing from one extreme to the other. Living life in the extremes or swinging between the extremes is dysfunctional - it does not work to create a balanced, healthy, happy life.

If you learned to live life in your head it is vitally necessary to start becoming more aware of your body and what is happening in your body emotionally. Where is there tension, tightness? Where is the energy manifesting in my body? I learned that when there is energy congregating in my upper chest it was sadness. If it was around my heart chakra it was hurt. Anger and fear manifest in my stomach. Until I started to become aware of, and identify, the emotional energy in my body it was impossible for me to be emotionally honest with myself. It was impossible for me to start owning, honoring, and releasing the emotional energy in a healthy way until I became aware that it was there.

I had to become aware that there were such things as emotions that lived in my body and then I had to start learning how to recognize and sort them out. I had to become aware of all the ways that I was trained to distance myself from my feelings. I am going to mention a few of them here to help any of you reading this in your process of becoming emotionally honest.

Speaking in the third person. One of the defenses many of us have against feeling our feelings is to speak of ourselves in the third person. "You just kind of feel hurt when that happens" is not a personal statement and does not carry the power of speaking in the first person. "I felt hurt when that happened" is personal, is owning the feeling. Listen to yourself and to others and become aware of how often you hear others and yourself refer to self in the third person.

Avoiding using primary feeling words. There are only a handful of primary feelings that all humans feel. There is some dispute about just how many there are primary but for our purpose here I am going to use seven. Those are: angry, sad, hurt, afraid, lonely, ashamed, and happy. It is important to start using the primary names of these feelings in order to own them and to stop distancing ourselves from the feelings. To say "I am anxious" or "concerned" or "apprehensive" is not the same as saying "I am afraid." Fear is at the root of all those other expressions but we don't have to be so aware of our fear if we use a word that distances us from fear. Expressions like "confused," "irritated," "upset," "tense," "disturbed," "melancholy," "blue," "good," or "bad" are not primary feeling words.

Emotions are energy that is meant to flow: E - motion = energy in motion. Until we own it, feel it and release it, it cannot flow. By blocking and repressing our emotions we are damming up our internal energy and that will eventually result in some physical or mental manifestation such as cancer or alzheimers disease or whatever.

Until we can start being emotionally honest with ourselves it is impossible to be truly honest on any level with anybody. Until we start becoming emotionally honest with ourselves it is impossible to know who we Truly are. Our emotions tell us who we are and without emotional honesty it is impossible to be True to our self because we don't know ourselves.

Of course there is a very good reason we have had to be emotionally dishonest. It is because we are carrying around unresolved grief - suppressed pain, terror, shame, and rage energy from our childhoods. Until we deal with our unresolved grief and start releasing the suppressed, pressurized emotional energy from our past it is impossible to be comfortable in our own skins, in the moment, in an emotionally honest, age-appropriate way. Until we become willing to take the journey to the emotional frontier within us we cannot Truly know who we are, we cannot Truly start to forgive and Love ourselves.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: With Gods Help! on May 09, 2011, 04:02:28 PM: i particularly thought this was correct where the MLCers are concerned: We cannot clearly reconnect with the Light unless we are willing to own and honor our experience of the Darkness. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: With Gods Help! on May 09, 2011, 04:10:56 PM: Codependence vs Interdependence - healthy relationship vs dysfunctional

"Codependence and interdependence are two very different dynamics. Codependence is about giving away power over our self-esteem. . . . Interdependence is about making allies, forming partnerships. It is about forming connections with other beings."
***
"The disease of Codependence causes us to keep repeating patterns that are familiar. So we pick untrustworthy people to trust, undependable people to depend on, unavailable people to love. By healing our emotional wounds and changing our intellectual programming we can start to practice discernment in our choices so that we can change our patterns and learn to trust ourselves."
***
"The way to healthy interdependence is to be able to see things clearly - to see people, situations, life dynamics and most of all ourselves clearly. If we are not working on healing our childhood wounds and changing our childhood programming then we cannot begin to see ourselves clearly let alone anything else in life."

"In order to stop giving our power away, to stop reacting out of our inner children, to stop setting ourselves up to be victims, so that we can start learning to trust and Love ourselves, we need to begin to practice discernment. Discernment is having the eyes to see, and the ears to hear - and the ability to feel the emotional energy that is Truth.

We cannot become clear on what we are seeing or hearing if we are reacting to emotional wounds that we have not been willing/able to feel and subconscious attitudes that we have not been willing/able to look at. We cannot learn to trust ourselves as long as we are still setting ourselves up to be victimized by untrustworthy people."
***
"Not only were we taught to be victims of people, places, and things, we were taught to be victims of ourselves, of our own humanity. We were taught to take our ego-strength, our self-definition from external manifestations of our being. . . Looks, talent, intelligence external manifestations of our being are gifts to be celebrated. They are temporary gifts. They are not our total being. They do not define us or dictate if we have worth. We were taught to do it backwards. To take our self-definition and self-worth from temporary illusions outside of, or external to our beings. It does not work. It is dysfunctional."
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

Codependence and interdependence are two very different dynamics.

Codependence is about giving away power over our self-esteem. Taking our self-definition and self-worth from outside or external sources is dysfunctional because it causes us to give power over how we feel about ourselves to people and forces which we cannot control. Any time that we give power over our self-esteem to something outside of ourselves we are making that person or thing our higher power. We are worshiping false gods.

If my self-esteem is based on people, places, and things; money, property, and prestige; looks, talent, intelligence; then I am set up to be a victim. People will not always do what I want them too; property can be destroyed by an earthquake or flood or fire; money can disappear in a stock market crash or bad investment; looks change as I get older. Everything changes. All outside or external conditions are temporary.

That is why it is so important to get in touch with our Spiritual connection. To start realizing that we have worth because we are children of God. That we are all part of the Eternal ONENESS that is the God Force/Goddess Energy/Great Spirit. We are Spiritual beings having a human experienceour worth as beings is not dependent upon any outer or external condition. We are Unconditionally Loved and we always have been.

The more we can start owning the Truth of who we really are and integrating it into our relationship with ourselves, the more we can enjoy this human experience that we are having. Then we can start learning how to be interdependent - how to give power away in conscious, healthy ways because our self-worth is no longer dependent on outside sources.

Interdependence is about making allies, forming partnerships. It is about forming connections with other beings. Interdependence means that we give someone else some power over our welfare and our feelings.

Anytime we care about somebody or something we give away some power over our feelings. It is impossible to Love without giving away some power. When we choose to Love someone (or thing - a pet, a car, anything) we are giving them the power to make us happy - we cannot do that without also giving them the power to hurt us or cause us to feel angry or scared.

In order to live we need to be interdependent. We cannot participate in life without giving away some power over our feelings and our welfare. I am not talking here just about people. If we put money in a bank we are giving some power over our feelings and welfare to that bank. If we have a car we have a dependence on it and will have feelings if it something happens to it. If we live in society we have to be interdependent to some extent and give some power away. The key is to be conscious in our choices and own responsibility for the consequences.

The way to healthy interdependence is to be able to see things clearly - to see people, situations, life dynamics and most of all ourselves clearly. If we are not working on healing our childhood wounds and changing our childhood programming then we cannot begin to see ourselves clearly let alone anything else in life.

The disease of Codependence causes us to keep repeating patterns that are familiar. So we pick untrustworthy people to trust, undependable people to depend on, unavailable people to love. By healing our emotional wounds and changing our intellectual programming we can start to practice discernment in our choices so that we can change our patterns and learn to trust ourselves.

As we develop healthy self-esteem based on knowing that the Force is with us and Loves us, then we can consciously take the risk of Loving, of being interdependent, without buying into the belief that the behavior of others determines our self-worth. We will have feelings - we will get hurt, we will be scared, we will get angry - because those feelings are an unavoidable part of life. Feelings are a part of the human experience that we came here to learn about - they cannot be avoided. And trying to avoid them only causes us to miss out on the Joy and Love and happiness that can also be a part of the human experience.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Voyager on May 09, 2011, 04:13:33 PM: WGH
I just read this after posting on my own thread on the same topic. Thank you for putting this up, it's going to be really helpful for me and others too i hope.
xxxx
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: With Gods Help! on May 09, 2011, 04:21:45 PM: Hi V yeah just read your thread now............god must have guided me to post this today, ive had it a few days and meant to post it then but forgot.............. this one and another one, hope they help someone in someway, the more we understand the better we can deal with it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: stayingthecourse on May 09, 2011, 04:57:22 PM: With God's Help,

I believe you are right - God's hand is in this posting.

I have been using this forum to purge a lot of negative things from my past. Really just journaling but putting it out there so that I am exposed - the good, the bad, and the ugly. From my perspective mostly the ugly. I guess in a way I have been trying to "own" the wounds I have dealt myself in my life - and also to come to terms with the fact that a bottle took my place in my fathers life when I was a child and try to determine what choices that has influenced me to make in my life.

This is part of working on me. Trying to face and acknowledge the things that I feel shame for. I need to be able to do that to move to a healthier place for me.

Thank you for posting this. I have been trying to do what god is guiding me to do and this helps me to see that I am on the right track.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Buggy31 on May 09, 2011, 07:49:23 PM: WGH
I've just gotten to the point in my journey where I have reached a deep level of emotional honesty with the help of bodywork and my therapist I have begun to truly go into the pain and release it. THis has been in process but has truly become intense in the past two weeks. The way my body feels after this short time is UNBELIEVABLE. I am experiencing pain for sure but my body is lighter. I am not holding onto my pain. I am feeling it and letting it go. I have very little tension in those areas that were big problems for me...like the neck. We hold on so much..MLCers are particularly stuck but I was doing it to as the LBS and I know this lesson that I am learning will change me forever...in very deep and important ways.

THanks WGH you always find such important info

HUGS
BUGS
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: truth_seeker on May 21, 2011, 04:37:50 PM: bumping up! Can't believe there's not more miracles happening. Come on people!! Ask and you shall receive!! Put the focus back on YOU!

Sorry but I for one would like to remind people there is good happening all around us even if we're going through H*LL. The more we focus on the good the more good will come about. BELIEVE!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: GottaBeMe on May 21, 2011, 05:07:02 PM: Aww, this is a good thread, and I was going to post some similar things on my own thread.

My GD2 birthday is coming up and the story of her birth was a true miracle.

My daughter developed severe preeclampsia. At 30 weeks she had to deliver because her blood pressure was too high. She was so sick and scared for her baby. She had so many hopes and dreams about this pregnancy, including the delivery. She wanted to have a natural birth, it was really important to her. At this point, it was the only dream that she might be able to fulfill, except of course, the most important, to deliver a healthy baby.

GD was transverse though, and my daughter was running out of time, her blood pressure kept climbing. I started praying like I never have before and begged God to please help us, and make sure that this baby made it, and to please, please put that baby in the right position.

My daughter, I kid you not, called me about 1/2 hour later and told me that she had turned!

It turned out that she needed an emergency c-section a few days later but I know that God did that for us. I didn't think of it that way at the time, but I think God was telling me that all would be ok, that he had my daughter and that baby in His hands. He also saw to it that she was born with very few problems considering, and she did so well in the NICU. Our perfect little miracle.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Ibelieve on May 21, 2011, 05:28:03 PM: First in July my Sister's Hubby passed away. Then in November My Hubby left me. My Mom was so worried and sad for us.
Then just this March my Mom got cancer. We could not believe all of this was happening to our family all at once. We thought this is just too much.

The miracle...
She needed Surgery, then most likely Chemo or Radiation.
She had the surgery, It Went perfect.
Got test results back after surgery and got the Great news that she would not have to have Chemo or Radiation.
This all happened in a mater of 2 month of her diagnosis. Just amazing, she didn't even have time to worry or stress about it.
We thought this was a miracle in our family. Since we had been through enough. She is now cancer free!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Tsunami on May 21, 2011, 06:17:14 PM: This really isn't a miracle, but in this circumstance it felt like on to me.....

Husband is retired military, he'd applied for VA benefits close to a year ago. He changed his address when he moved, but somehow the paperwork stating how much he will be receiving each month, and retroactively (2 years) was sent here to the house. He thought he was going to pull another fast one on me, but I felt me finding out about it was a miracle!

Six weeks prior to my spousal support hearing too!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LearningIamOk on May 21, 2011, 06:22:30 PM: My S25 was in a car accident about 2 weeks ago. He totaled the car he was driving for his job. He swerved to avoid another car coming into his lane and ended up taking down a traffic signal. He wasn't ticketed and the cop said he did a great job controlling the car.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LearningIamOk on May 21, 2011, 06:24:03 PM: Forgot to add he had no injuries as he had a seatbelt on, only some burns on his arms from the airbag.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: leftylulu on May 21, 2011, 06:46:02 PM: MIne was last weekend on our way home from San Diego. I was telling my daughter how bright the lights were on the semi coming at us and it was hard for me to see. Just as we were approaching the semi I noticed a pickup passing the semi I was able to easily swerve onto the shoulder and avoid having a head-on that would have killed us instantly. The truck was probably only a few car lenghts in front of us when I noticed it. I told my daughter that God took over because it was such a thoughtless action and I remained very calm.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: With Gods Help! on June 06, 2011, 11:07:58 AM: Hi everyone
i got sent this article from a website i joined thought it may be of help xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I've been having a big think this week, about how much we may struggle with wanting life to be a certain way, and ignoring what we know and feel in our hearts. When we do this we're in resistance to creating a happy and healthy life - which is the unfortunate side-effect of listening to and being controlled by our ego.

When we look at our model of the world, we can see the product of disconnection from our True Selves, oneness and the connection to life and others. It seems that the current global state is creating a great deal of pressure to survive - to keep trying to create life the way we think it should go - and many people feel like they're going around and around in the same circles which feel more and more difficult to live in.

Generally when we don't like our state of affairs and think they should be going a certain way - we feel a great deal of resistance. Yet this is counter-productive because whenever we have an emotional focus on pain and frustration we receive more of that.

In resistance we want to force something to happen rather than listening to the inner voice that is telling us This isn't the truth for you anymore. And as anyone knows (if they’ve applied self-awareness) that when we go against our inner voice we pay a painful price.

Egoic states and decisions are common amongst human kind. They are fear-based, and the need to control outer circumstances in order to try and feel better, rather than letting go and travelling with the flow of what our inner knowing is telling us and adapting to that, is the cause. As time goes on all of us will have to get more adept at listening to this inner voice rather than attempting to control our life the way we think it should go. Our emotional survival will depend on it.

It’s an incredible experience when we apply acceptance rather than resistance, and every time we make it a high priority to reach acceptance we open up to infinite wisdom and the truth. The truth we reach is registered on a knowing level that no longer needs analysis and data to get there - knowing means we just know it.

This is the highest level of processing information – it’s our inherent intuition that connects us to truth. We all have an inner guidance system that is our birthright. It's not mean to be argued out of existence by being trapped in the egoic fears, value systems and delusions that we can be so susceptible to.

When we resist our inner voice truth, we go into resistance. We start judging things, making excuses, and create stories in our head to ease the inner anxiety which indicates we’re going against our gut, and no matter how hard we try to improve things we stay stuck in what we're not happy with - and the battle against truth continues.

Let me give you an example. Let's say an individual is in a relationship she wants to work - yet it clearly isn't. There’s pain in this relationship. The inner dialogue is I'm not happy with this, and I have to make it better! and I'm not happy with this and it's his fault, and I'm going to tell him so! Her focus is: I'm not happy right now, and I'm not going to be until something changes. This, of course, may be a perfectly understandable human perception - yet is totally discordant in regard to changing her life with empowered creation. This lady has no ability to alter her circumstances whilst vibrating at this level no matter how hard she tries

.

In every case of every individual I have met (including myself) who has empowered and healed after a disappointing relationship, there is a hindsight realisation that at the time they knew the relationship wasn't working. Yes, it may have been salvageable, but certainly operating from an egoic standpoint was never going to create change. In relation to narcissistic relationships where people applied egoic stubbornness to hang on (as I did), we all admitted later we knew the narcissist was a lost cause, and the relationship would fail.

The truth of the matter was: we didn't want to accept it.

It's only when we live outside of truth that life beats us up. Because when we accept the truth it does set us free - regardless of what that truth is. It sets us free because then we can choose who we are in relation to what it is, and be in the best possible position to create a healthy life.

Your first step to change something in your life causing you unhappiness is always acceptance. This acceptance is a statement of: I acknowledge and will deal with the truth. Immediately your ego (and we all have one) will feel like baulking, and going into denial. The ego pouts and says: I don't want to accept my relationship isn't working! I don't want to accept that I can't pay my bills!

In fact your ego is not going to want to accept anything it judges as wrong until something changes, and will refuse to feel okay until this happens.

Your ego holds life responsible, instead of taking responsibility.

Can you imagine getting your car stuck in a great big muddy hole, angrily putting your foot on the accelerator and only digging yourself deeper in the bog? This is what happens when we don't accept the truth of our life. Just like the car, when we're bogged we're no longer travelling down the path we want to be on. If we get frustrated and try and force the car to keep going it doesn't work.

What does work is getting out of the car as calmly and peacefully as possible, acknowledging there is a problem, then deciding what the solutions are to get out of the hole.

All of your life is no different. If you focus on the problem whilst in resistance and don't get your focus onto solutions, your position gets worse. It's crucial to realise this is your car and you are the driver of it, you are not driving someone else's car and you have no power to take over their car and steer it in the directions you want -you only have control of your own centre of influence which ultimately is yourself.

When confronted with anything in your life that you're not enjoying get out of your resistance to it. Take the awareness that you don't want this particular experience and then stop wrestling with it. Stop trying to fix, change, cling to or force change from something or someone outside of yourself. Accept it is what it and then from this place of acceptance listen to what this situation is telling you - and accept the answer that you know at an inner level- regardless of whether or not you like it.

From this space you can align with focusing on the positive solutions that relate to you and empower yourself.

Egoic fears and control are a condition of human life. They are not purely the model of a narcissist. It's a fact that narcissists and people acting co-dependently struggle with their egos, and the result is exactly the same - falseness, illusions and pain.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Still on June 07, 2011, 06:02:02 AM: I thought we should have a thread about things that make you happy, things that help you remember the good things in our lives.

This song played on the radio the other day and it just spoke to me so deeply. I am in such a good place right now. I know who I am, what my needs are, the people that are important to me, and the importance of continuing to be in a close relationship with God.

I just wanted to share:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cKNleDdUFY&feature=share

This Is Home
by Switchfoot

I've got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe you now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was

Created for a place I've never known

[Chorus]
This is home
Now I'm finally where I belong
Where I Belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching for a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
This is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back
Back to how it was
And I got my heart set on what happens next
I got my eyes wide it's not over yet
We are miracles and we're not alone

[Chorus]

And now after all my searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I've got a brand new mindset
I can finally see the sunset
I'm gonna call it home

[Chorus]

Now I know
Yeah, this is home
I've come too far
And I won't go back
Yeah, this is home
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Trustandlove on June 07, 2011, 07:03:03 AM: I'm so glad you are feeling good, Still. Really.

Although I have to say that reading those words it sounds like what my MLCer is saying... I repeatedly hear "I won't go back...."

xx
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Still on June 07, 2011, 10:28:24 AM: Thanks, T&L.

Honestly, I view it all very differently. I won't go back to the way it was. I will go forward, but never back. To go back would mean that I learned nothing. I am such a different person than I was three years ago.

I know that I didn't cause my H's MLC, but I definitely had a hand in the breakdown of our communication over the years. I no longer want a relationship where two people avoid conflict to the point it erupts in a cataclysmic event.

I want a relationship that can be open and honest.....not one of score tallying. I didn't even know score was being kept. I want something very different. I pray that will one day be with my H, but that is out of my control.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: BonBon on June 07, 2011, 10:51:55 AM: I just want to say that I can't think of a good song off the top of my head but I can honestly say that tapping into your creative juices is really gratifying and a great way to take your mind off things.

I did alot of decoupage in the months following bomb drops. Little boxes with vintage images. Really easy, fun, cheap and nice gifts for people. I also tried to make jewelry but taht didn't work out. Fun trying though. I highly recommend hitting a craft shop if you've always wanted to try something and never have. Or if you haven't bothered with something like that.

My other recommendation is reading. I've been reading Jodi Piccoult books for about a year now and I'm having a blast. Honestly, I had forgotten how great it was to get lost in fiction.

I also wrote a book for children. I've even self published it and it's on amazon. It's something I've always wanted to do and talk about getting lost in something, feeling joyous and boosting my self esteem...

So the point is, there is nothing more uplifting than doing things you enjoy, for YOURself, and it having nothing to do with the misery of the MLC.

Good luck everyone!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Still on June 07, 2011, 11:00:00 AM: BonBon,

That is wonderful! Look at you go!

I always wanted to write a children's book. That is really interesting.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Trustandlove on June 07, 2011, 11:35:42 AM: You are so right, Still; despite what I said I wouldn't go back to that, either.

And well done, BonBon!

x
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: BonBon on June 07, 2011, 01:27:23 PM: Thanks all.
Also meant to say that I love those lyrics you posted. I think I have 100 songs for my "down" moods when I feel like sobbing. And more for my angry moods when I feel like thrashing! LOL! But to do things I enjoy is the most uplifting thing and I hadn't done those hobbies in years.

I think you sound good too!
:)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: HeartsBlessing on June 07, 2011, 01:30:27 PM: This is the McKamey's song; called "The Shepherd's Point of View"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lydZqcHRYik

This song really spoke to my heart; as it's very true once you come through a trial; most especially when it's one you haven't understood. No matter what anyone says; I know that God is there; always has been there, and always will be there. And though He allows us to go through hard times, He loves us; and has our best interests at heart.

I can remember the blessings throughout my husband's two bouts of crisis; He never left me, and He always listened to my feelings, my rants, my questions; although He did NOT answer so many of these UNTIL times were past. It's a gentle reminder that only God knows the WHOLE picture.

Here are the lyrics:

Sung by the McKameys...
Lyrics.....The Shepherd's Point of View(c)

You are standing on the mountain holding to the Shepherd's hand,
the valley you just came through, was hard to understand.
Then the Shepherd draws you closer, there's something He wants you to see,
and He points back to the valley and unfolds its mysteries.

As the eagles soar around you and you look back on where you've been
one by one He answers questions, that He did not answer then.
He now shows you the danger, of going your own way,
all the roads you thought were better, would have led your soul astray.

He reminds you of that moment, when you could not make it through,
now you see one set of footprints, where He reached down and carried you.
As your tears fall on His shoulder, and you thank Him for His love,
He says "Child, I knew that one day, you'd see the valley from above."

Chorus
Things look different on the mountain, from the Shepherd's point of view.
Standing high above the trial, that He brought you safely through.
All the valley's disappointments, will never look the same to you,
for things look different on the mountain, from the Shepherd's point of view.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LoveMeMyself on June 07, 2011, 01:38:20 PM: Thanks, HB...........sitting at my desk with tears streaming! May God Bless us all!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: BonBon on June 07, 2011, 01:51:41 PM: Oh HB, that is marvelous! Wowee!

Ok, I just thought of one that I've been singing alot the last few years...not necessarily uplifting but maybe perhaps...definitely spiritual. It really made me feel good to belt it out at the top of my lungs as I sang along.

I'm going to write the lyrics as best I know them off the top of my head. Its sung by Trisha Yearwood:

You don't have to move that mountain
Just help me Lord to climb it
You don't have to move that stumblin' block
Just show me the way around it

We all climb the great high mountain
To reach God's gracious kingdom
In his words you'll find the strength
If you will just believe them.

"chorus" again

Well the way is filled with pitfalls
And somedays you will falter
You can have his grace my friend
On your knees down at the alter

you don't have to move that mountain
Just help me Lord to climb it
You don't have to move that stumblin' block
Just show me the way around it.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: HeartsBlessing on June 07, 2011, 02:05:06 PM: I like that, Bon; God doesn't move the mountains but He will certainly will help us climb them to greater and greater heights. :)

Below the introduction that follows is a song I wrote not long ago; I can't post the link; it leads to my true identity; so, the lyrics are what I'm posting. :) I did alot of writing over the years; it was cathartic for me; and helped me release a great deal of stress.

Anyway; here goes:

It's a hard thing to realize that not everything is as it seems. Life, unfortunately, is full of pitfalls, dangers, and trials. The majority of our suffering, sometimes, can be at the hands of the ones who profress to love us...but most of the time, they are pursuing their own agendas, and we can get hurt, sometimes deeply.
Other times, we feel so alone, down and out; and wonder how the Lord can sit up there and allow the things to happen that He does.

But, you know, we can learn from what we experience or run from it...and God, while He knows exactly how we feel, He doesn't just leave us out in the rain...He shelters us, comforts us, believes in us. And, given time, we WILL overcome and go on to better things.

The idea of doors that He opens and closes comes from somewhere in Revelations; and it's something I use in one of my teaching/counseling tools, as I've experienced these same things in my life.

God has NOT always given me what I've asked for, knowing better than I did..and given time I did see what He had in store....it was much better than I'd asked for. :)

Through what I've endured, I learned to trust Him through everything.

It always circles back to that one thing...trust. :)

And remembering that nothing is EVER as it seems...even in situations where He is working behind the scenes, unseen, but not unfelt....sometimes it doesn't feel right, smell right or taste right...but He knows what He's doing.

I've seen it many times in my life and in the lives of others; His Word is truth....He's got us when we can't go any farther; He listens to us when we're torn to pieces....and He closes doors that NO man can open, opens doors that NO man can close.

Nothing is Ever As it Seems
Lyrics
The disappointments of life
Can be so hard to bear
It's times like this you're thinking
Life just isn't fair
But out of all of this bad
Will always come the good
If you'll trust in the Lord
Holding firm as you should

Chorus
For God closes doors
That no man can open
And He opens doors
That no man can close
In the palm of His Hand
He holds your hopes and your dreams
Remember that nothing
Is ever as it seems.

You've prayed for an answer
Didn't get the one you want.
You ask "Oh, Lord, what went wrong
I've always done my part."
Some things aren't meant to be
You'll see this given time.
What you'd thought was great for you
Wasn't good at the time

(Chorus)

You're standing at the crossroads,
A decision must be made.
You'll make it now for good or bad
Then you'll be on your way.
There's a reason for everything
That happens in your life.
Acceptance helps your healing
In that process much less strife
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: HeartsBlessing on June 07, 2011, 02:11:25 PM: Quote
Honestly, I view it all very differently. I won't go back to the way it was. I will go forward, but never back. To go back would mean that I learned nothing. I am such a different person than I was three years ago.

Still, I remember when I reached that same realization that this was the point of no return; there was no going back to what once was...only forward into the future. I didn't know what would be there; but I KNEW that God would be with me; and that made all the difference.

Yet, as He has always said 'Be not afraid, for I am with thee, always'; you put one foot in front of the other; live through one day at a time; and trust in Him for what's ahead; He knows all things. :)

You've grown so much; and continue to grow through this trial. You're doing well. :)

I really like the song; This is Home; it rings true to my own heart. :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: StandandDeliver on June 07, 2011, 02:39:33 PM: Nina always makes me feel happy and carefree: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8tuTSi6Sck

"it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for meeeeeeeeee, and I'm feeeeeeeeelin' gooood..."
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: StandandDeliver on June 07, 2011, 02:43:24 PM: In fact, that song is a really "zen" song - all about living in the moment and appreciating the beauty of life, as it is right now...
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: watching and waiting on June 07, 2011, 03:06:29 PM: Thanks for the link HB,
I expect there are alot of tears tonight after listening here.

Its more of a sob than a stream here LMM.

HUGS and prayers
x
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on September 16, 2011, 06:49:59 PM: Okay,
I have discovered soundcloud.com and will post my MLC songs that were my therapy along the journey. These songs came through me- almost like emotional vomit so to speak. Some are humorous, some are folksy and some are just plain sad, sad, sad. They chronicle the journey. This post came about three quarters of the way through MY journey post BD.

Enjoy, here´s the link.

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/souffle/s-zvgJs
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on September 17, 2011, 04:46:53 AM: Here´s another one entitled "Pity Party"

This came to me while walking the dogs after work one day and I was coming out of the woods and into the meadow I was feeling quite sorry for myself but at the same time knew I had to pull out of it- so this was my "self-talk" in a musical and comic way of dealing with it.

In the first verse, the lyrics include "straighten your bow" but in the second version of that stanza the lyrics are "straighten your beau."

Enjoy,

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/pity-party/s-PQWCp
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on September 18, 2011, 06:08:48 AM: Here´s a happy tune- this is the most recent, in the last three weeks. I find it psychologically interesting that my songs are no longer about h- that´s a sign of healing for sure. I am sharing this tune with my students to encourage them to take risks and believe in themselves. I shared it recently with a friend about to undertake a big consulting job and she hit a home run. Friends, believe in yourselves!

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/big-dipper-kid-version/s-3kiWR

When I wrote this, it was a clear, dark night and I was seated on my beloved chair and a half (best thrift store purchase EVER). I turned my head to look out the window and there, resting on my shoulder, was the big dipper. I teach Spanish and in Spanish, your north (tu norte) is your goal in life.

FTT
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on September 18, 2011, 06:22:16 AM: Here´s another one- about half way through my journey. I sang this on the way to school each morning to pull myself together and avoid falling into a pity party (which I´d already perfected and thankfully moved past). This song was my self-talk mantra to hang in there but not get sucked into h´s despair.

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/if-you-want-to-cope/s-yKUgk
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: GottaBeMe on September 18, 2011, 06:48:42 AM: FTT,

These songs are wonderful. You are so talented to be able to write this way. Is that you singing them too? If so, you have a nice voice!

I just wanted to tell you that, and keep them coming. Thank you so much for sharing them.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on September 18, 2011, 04:56:46 PM: This one was written near the end of my stand- it was to give me hope that even though h was out of my life, my life would keep going.

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/leaf-peepers/s-98OWo
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on September 18, 2011, 04:58:09 PM: This was written last winter when I finally started realize that the issues of most importance lay in h´s court and were not of my making. Yes, there were shared communication issues, but this refers to what he was denying within himself.

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/knife-of-shame/s-eMSA6
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on September 18, 2011, 04:59:03 PM: This was written last spring when I FINALLY accepted that FTT did not have a hand in fixing this.

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/there-is-nothing-i-can-do/s-24t15
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on September 18, 2011, 05:00:13 PM: This one was to give me hope for a future no matter what.

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/planting-time
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on September 18, 2011, 06:25:35 PM: Okay- this one was late winter - early spring- post dog bite.

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/i-know-there-s-music-in-my/s-zRSyA
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: BraveNewWorld on September 19, 2011, 04:53:53 AM: Your voice is beautiful.

bnw
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on September 21, 2011, 07:27:39 PM: A friend recently shared this webpage with me and it seems very fitting for this board. It is my wish that each and every one of us will be able to wake up full of awesome every day! xoxo

http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/08/waking-up-full-of-awesome/
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: BonBon on September 22, 2011, 07:22:25 AM: This is TERRIFIC!
WOW!

I can think of the exact picture of myself that was awesome....I'm standing on a beach, hotdog in hand, just waiting for someone to try and take it from me...as my siblings would always do...fantastic! Thanks for sharing!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: ladybird on September 23, 2011, 09:32:30 AM: Love this! I read it to a friend and she loved it too! She has been telling me to do loving things for myself like buying myself flowers, sending myself love letters and writing I Love You on a mirror so that I see it everyday. My friend is right-I need to love myself first! :-*
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Hope for Zen on September 23, 2011, 12:26:11 PM: I LOVE THIS!

heheh

;D
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Affaircare on September 23, 2011, 12:58:20 PM: In honor of this post, I stand here before you all today, FULL of awesome.

I know that I am an amazing, undiscovered treasure beyond worth.

I love myself.

I am beautiful
even with a full figure, eyes that are getting older, and clothes that I bought from Walmart.

I love my body and the things it can do
like HUG, and hang laundry, and help others.

I am strong
mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically.

I am smarter than most of the people I meet! LOL! :P

And yep--she still lives in me:

(http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh76/FaithfulWifeCJ/Family/YoungCindy-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Anjae on September 23, 2011, 02:00:35 PM: Love it. And I'm awesome. I do wake up every day feeling awasome. That was a thing, that, a while ago, maybe two years, I decide I was going to do everyday. I even tell the mirror, everyday "good morning, princess". And always have a nice smile. A bit nascissist? Maybe. But it does help.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Still on September 23, 2011, 02:16:05 PM: WarriorPriestess,

I just wanted to introduce myself to you. I have been assigned as your mentor for the next few months. I see you have already been given some great advice from others on the board.

As you know, there is little any of us can do while the people we love are going through this crisis. The only thing you can do is focus on yourself and to keep moving forward in your own journey.

Please let me know if you have any questions or PM me.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on September 23, 2011, 02:29:14 PM: Hi Still, thanks for the introduction and welcome.

Affaircare, I love that pic. AWESOME! :D
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Musica on September 23, 2011, 02:41:06 PM: Just going to bed ... night night, tomorrow I WILL WAKE UP FULL OF AWESOME TOO!! Yes totally!! and I'll make sure my daughters know that they are and will be all their lives.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Standing in Patience on September 24, 2011, 10:21:18 AM: Yup, one of my favorite.

If I get down, I reread it. As you might imagine, I have reread this dozens of times!

I access Rejoice Ministries at least once a day if possible.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: growing every day on October 02, 2011, 04:46:50 AM: Written by a 90 year old

Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good..

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step...

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15.. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21.. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words :'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life..

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34.. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: xyzcf on October 02, 2011, 07:43:34 AM: This is so nice and there are so many truisms within. I think what makes the LBSer very special is our ability to get through the pain...to find some joy. We do not hide away from the pain, we do not run away from the sadness...we learn somehow to accept it and gradually the world starts to become colorful again (it used to be mainly black and white, pretty grainy and all my senses were dead).

Each day truly is a gift and as we so often see..it can be wiped out in a flash. I think many of us hate the fact that time which is so precious is being "wasted" and can never be gotten back...we want so much to be with our partners and share everything in life as it once was...and it is difficult to understand that it is ok to experience life alone..that there can be joy there too.

I often have to remind myself over and over again.....he was a part of my life but not my whole life. Sometimes we forget all the other parts that God has put in place to bring us joy and happiness.

Thanks for sharing. I hope that you are well. Sorry I haven't been in touch...lots to take care of and I think I am becoming a bit reclusive. I'm going to be away for a while and there is great apprehension as I will have to be with my H for the first time in 13 months. I give that over to God and trust that He will lead me and guide me through as He always does.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on October 02, 2011, 02:54:47 PM: Link to Raquelita Rhinestone- proof that we can come out the other side- healed.

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/raquelita-rhinestone
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Anjae on October 02, 2011, 06:00:17 PM: That's absolutely wonderful, GED.

xyzcf, the part I don't like about the "wasted" time is the legal and the destruction part. Having, an experience, life on my own is not a problem.

OK, would be nice if it was possible to have a friendship with husband but it is not. So, I have all the fun and growing I can on my own. Problem? I'm starting to like it too much.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on October 02, 2011, 06:07:22 PM: Here's another good one:

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God.

You have two choices... smile and close this page,
or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson .
God bless us all!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LeaveThePastBehind on October 02, 2011, 06:28:27 PM: Lovely post! I should memorize the whole list by heart 'cause I really have a lot of work to do on me.

I Love that donkey story! In my head though, I replaced him with a goat because goats are the cutest ;) .
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LearningIamOk on October 02, 2011, 06:44:19 PM: GED, Thanks for starting this. We can all use the uplifting messages.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Little Chief on October 03, 2011, 05:47:47 AM: Love this! I copied it and put it on a word doc on my desktop so I can look at it often!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Dandy Lion on October 03, 2011, 10:40:03 AM: I really love the donkey in the well story.

There's an excellent Taoist tale of a farmer who has a balanced view of life. This view often confuses those around him that expect him to react or behave according to the "norm".

The story goes that an old farmer is working hard in the fields. He has a wife and a son, and ekes out a meagre living. One day, his only horse runs away. Upon hearing this, his neighbours comment "Oh, how awful! That is terrible!" The farmer's reply:

"Maybe, maybe not."

A few days later, the farmer's horse returns and with it is another, exotic horse from far away. The horse is a mare, and is of rare value. The neighbours, upon hearing this, exclaim "How wonderful! It's fantastic that your horse returned and brought another horse with it!". The farmer shrugged and said:

"Maybe, maybe not."

The farmer's horses gave him many young, prized colts making the farmer very wealthy in the town. The neighbours were very happy for the farm saying; "This is so fantastic! Your new horses have brought you much fortune!" The farmer responded:

"Maybe, maybe not."

The farmer's son, now a young man, tried to tame one of the young colts and was thrown from the horse, breaking his hip. This left the son unable to walk. The neighbours came to help and tried to console the farmer saying; "Oh, how awful! Your only son will never walk again!". The farmer, who was not upset, simply said:

"Maybe, maybe not."

Later that year, the farmer's country went to war, and the army came by to conscript every abled bodied man for duty. The farmer was too old to be taken, and his son could not walk, therefore he was excused. The army simply took the farmer's horses, leaving him just his original horse to allow him to keep farming.

Was the farmer's life good? Maybe. Was the farmer's life bad? Maybe not.

The moral of the story is that positive and negative, bad and good are just different sides of the same coin. It all depends on your perspective and which way you choose to view a given situation. Since these attributes don't actually exist in reality, they are simply labels or values that we individually assign to what we are witnessing.

To truly be the witness and live directly in the moment, we could choose to not assign any values to situations. I believe this is what the farmer is doing. I love this story, and I find it an excellent parable to tell people who feel they are facing a tough circumstance
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Wed2Him?Whatever. on October 03, 2011, 12:04:06 PM: Quote from: Smitty2929 on March 22, 2011, 04:18:54 PM
In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness.
I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit...
I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.
I needed to see this today and to reread it a couple of times. Thanks for posting it here.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: dragonfly on October 03, 2011, 01:54:45 PM: Thanks for posting! I have seen this one and I find it powerful and encouraging. I added a few sentences for myself. It serves merely as a mental note to self....

I accept that I have no control over the outcome. I can't change anyone but myself. I will look carefully at my own life, take responsibility for myself and my children. I will not betray my life values.

Love, Dragonfly
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on October 03, 2011, 04:52:20 PM: I've heard that Taoist story before and I LOVE IT!! Thanks for posting it Umare. :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Wed2Him?Whatever. on October 05, 2011, 12:40:43 PM: Quote from: With Gods Help! on February 22, 2011, 05:45:16 PM
You cannot become the person you’re to become without your history. God will tie it together — that’s what redemption is.”

I just now read this and it really spoke to me. Thanks for this post, it is so encouraging!!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Synicca on October 08, 2011, 05:11:04 PM: I have been thinking about this for some time....As we get older we start to view life differently, we tend to be to busy
with everyday life....work, kids, husbands/wives, The running around like we cant get to the end fast enough..

But what about the inner child? The one that doesn't care about dancing in the streets? The one that sings in public,
The NO FEAR stance...That inner child that wasn't afraid to go 110 in their first car..or sneak in a buddy/friend into
the drive in theater?

There is a part of me, that doesn't want to lose that.....The fun loving child...The one that can dance in the kitchen to our own
tune..The one that isn't afraid to run around the house naked and sing...Where did that person go?

Should we lose the playfullness that we once had because we married and had children??

I wanted to do this thread.....What would you LOVE to do...That you let fall on the back burner?

I always remember the movie with Gene Kelly singing "dancing in the rain" and why don't I do that anymore?
That feeling of freedom?

What happened to me after I had a child, and married the man I love...Why does everyday life take this feeling away from us?
Sad really.....
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LeaveThePastBehind on October 08, 2011, 05:54:47 PM: The happiest I've ever been in my entire life was when, as a kid, I would memorize the words to my favorite songs and sing my heart out all over the house :) . Everyone always told me I had a beautiful voice but then, as I got older, my voice changed and it's just not good anymore. But I still love to sing when I'm at Karaoke where I transform from my introverted, shy nature and get lost in the song :) .

Other than that, the child in me is scared of this crazy world we live in. I think she's just afraid of life so she hides all the time.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on October 08, 2011, 06:29:16 PM: I love this topic! My inner child stays up too late reading books under the covers, talks to plants, loves all animals, draws, dances, creates elaborate fantasy stories in her head, and is in love with herself and the world! She sees the magic in everything, and doesn't care at all what other people think. She is proud and secure in who she is and what she likes to do, whatever that may be. She is happy. :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Believer on October 08, 2011, 06:37:49 PM: Syn,

This is awesome!!
My inner child loves to colour even of I go outside the lines.
Although my most favourite thing to do is to jump in puddles!! even now I drive through them with my car just to see a splash.
I hope I never give up puddles.... I'll be 90 still jumping in them ..hmm maybe the puddle will be my bladder giving way by then ;D
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Anjae on October 08, 2011, 07:28:24 PM: I've never lost my inner child. She was always around even when I was married. Husband and I were very playfull with each other. We played ball on the house corridor, had play fights upon the bed, went out dancing, laughed a lot, did crazy hours dinners. We had no children, no mortgage, had our own projects thart allowed us for a lot of freedom.

I do dance alone in the house. Always had, even when was still with husband. Must say my inner child is very much like WP one. She also likes to swim and play ball and go for long walks. And to stay a lot of time by herself.

Never singed on the rain but had, after husband left, danced on the rain and also on a very hot night, in the street, with a friend.

Watching those movies about MLC , Solitary man, The Beaver, Eat.Pray.Love, Funny,Crazy,Love I found those couples to be very stiff without any fun in them.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on October 08, 2011, 07:52:59 PM: This seemed like a fitting article:
http://shine.yahoo.com/event/makeover/being-the-grown-up-the-kid-in-you-always-wanted-1721065/;_ylt=ArumuLnfgid2f_IjpLRmzgGNb6U5
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LeaveThePastBehind on October 08, 2011, 07:56:34 PM: That's a very good point Annej. My honeypie was a happy, happy person all the time. He was a joker, a laugher, a clown and so very funny. And me... I was playful and happy but then it hit me one day... I was in a relationship since I was 13 years old and then issues arose in said relationship that I just didn't have the tools to handle properly, at the time. I feel so guilty that I was the downer in the relationship. I often wonder if things would be different between us if we had met later in life.

The little girl in me also loves to make jewelry, play with polymer clay ( I make awesome stuff ;D ) , design stuff, draw, come up with random ideas and inventions, decorate, wraps gifts, look at pretty colors ( I only wear black on sad occasions ), cherish all of the toys from her childhood and LOves Clay-mation films and musicals ;D .
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on October 08, 2011, 07:58:06 PM: I think we need an inner child play date! :D
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Anjae on October 08, 2011, 08:00:08 PM: Nice feature, WP.

Our MCLers cannot be using their inner child. As stated in the feature point 1, kids know right and wrong pretty well. MLCers are teenagers. No longer know right and wrong and want to break all the rules.

I think a lot like I were a child. To a child, if a MCLer spouse would be back it would not make sense if the LBS still loved the MCLer, not take the MLCer back. Sadly, adults world is not so easy...Or is it?...
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Anjae on October 08, 2011, 08:05:16 PM: Star, I do not know if meeting latter in life would had make a difference. Many people meet later in life. It does not prevent a MLC (unless it had already happened) and it does make them that much better dealing with issue in a relashionship.

Of course if one is 45, 50, 60 or more years old, had lived a serious relashionship, let's say, has lievd a spouse MLC, then, yes, I think it can make a huge difference.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Mamma Bear on October 08, 2011, 10:13:09 PM: Great topic..I learned early on that life is short and should be lived fully. Maybe it was my attraction to senior citizens at a young age. I would always love to talk with old neighbors and check on them.
When I used to be a retail pharmacist I loved when the elderly would come bug the crap out of me over every single thing under the sun!
They taught me stuff. One guy was at The Storming of Normandy!
One lady adopted a baby like Helen Keller.
I can always be found totally goofing off even if I am at work. My co-workers don't like it if I am not there. Actually I am their boss but I don't act like it unless they are stealing narcotics and that's a whole other ball of wax. DEA FBI gets ugly. ::) Anyway I will actually put a styrofoam cooler lid on top of two stacks of books and talk Japanese and break it with my forehead. and singing and dancing around the house etc painting landscapes, playing with kids sleigh riding water parks no more rollercoasters ...christmas lights...cookies...puppies..babies grasshoppers and lightning bugs in jars..........the ocean :) the mountains :) my friends on hero's spouse :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: wondering on October 09, 2011, 06:07:42 AM: I remember jumping some neighbors fence with a few other girls and skinny dipping in their pool one night. I was naked in the hot tub (by myself) last night....does that count? It didn't seem as thrilling. ;D ;D I also remember jumping off some bridge with my old boyfriend...it took me 40 minutes to let go of the railing...I don't think I'm up for that either ;D
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Synicca on October 09, 2011, 06:53:58 AM: Back in my younger days...we would go to this mountain area..where there was natural water slides....and a 80 foot drop off
to a pool of water.....took me an hour to get up the nerve to jump, but I did it! :D

I used to do so much...ride dirtbikes, climb cliffs....jump in mud puddles..lol

Dance in the rain.....My H would get so upset at me for doing some of these things....It would terrify him if something
happened to me...He was/is always afraid I am going to get hurt...maybe that is why I stopped..who knows!

But bringing back that childhood feeling is good....keeps the heart young!

When I was really young, I used to swim in ditches and slide stomach first down grape vine water holes..I had no fear!
Time to find that again! :D
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Thundarr on October 09, 2011, 08:14:28 AM: I don't think I've ever lost my inner child. I've collected comic books since I was 6 years old and have been into video games since around 10 and still am. I got into collecting toys (action figures) before S6 was born and now he is into all the same things I am. In fact, he is my excuse to be hanging out at Toys R Us and Best Buy sometimes!! I still have all my collections and my mom never threw any of my old toys out, so S6 gets to play with original Star Wars figures and Masters of the Universe too along with his new toys. He's playing a super-hero video game as I type this. Truly a chip off the old block!! On that note, guess what the first things my W told me she "disliked" about me were they day she told me she disliked 95% about me?

I also don't think I lost the optimism from my childhood either. Having worked with teenagers the past 12 years along with having an 18 year-old and being married to a teenager now, I have alot of perspectives that I haven't lost sight of. I like to sing out loud around the house as well as dance goofily and my kids think I'm great for it. Maybe I'm setting myself up for an MLC but I don't think so. I am able to function as an adult when I need to.

Great topic, Syn!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Anjae on October 09, 2011, 04:23:55 PM: Quote from: Thundarr on October 09, 2011, 08:14:28 AM
...and being married to a teenager now, I have alot of perspectives that I haven't lost sight of. I like to sing out loud around the house as well as dance goofily and my kids think I'm great for it. Maybe I'm setting myself up for an MLC but I don't think so. I am able to function as an adult when I need to.

Thundarr, I had tottaly forgot we are married to teenagers! ;D

They are able to function as adults as well. Otherwise they would not be able to get lawyers, divorces, court, and all those adult stuff. That is why MLC is so mad and hurtful, teenagers with adults skills and knowledge.

Nope, don't think you're on you way to a MLC. or maybe we all are. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Affaircare on October 09, 2011, 06:23:56 PM: Syn~

I *LOVE* this topic! After my first marriage fell apart, I was literally struck by lightening with this idea one day. I took my kids to the playground (as they were youngish) and rather than sitting there on a bench, I sat on a swing. Then I started to swing. The next thing I knew, I was 5yo and having that crazy great time you have when you were 5yo and trying to swing as high and fast as you could!

After we were done, I thought I was the most awful person for "having fun" (deep, inside myself, to the core "FUN") while my spouse was being unfaithful and destroying our family. I was "supposed to be" depressed and heart-broken...not "having fun." I thought about it a little more, and I was hit on the head like a fry-pan: ALL THOSE THINGS that I've always wanted to do and never could (because it made exH mad)...I could do! I could wantonly leave my shoes in the living room! I could shamelessly put my feet up on the coffee table! I could drink grape juice, and if I spilled it and stained my shirt, I would not scream at myself!!!!! I could have crazy, red curtains if I wanted to. I could roll down a hill and who cares if I'm a grown up? I could eat spaghetti with my fingers!!!!

After that, I realized that was somewhat my Inner Child coming out, and somewhat the strong, tween girl who knew who she was and loved herself.

Now I'm older and remarried to Dear Hubby (a WHOLE different marriage...wow) and rather than give up that girl, I incorporate her into everyday life and on the occasion, just give into her. If you don't--if you bury her--in the end it creates resentment. I have to admit I don't really roll down hills as much anymore (mainly because it would hurt me), but I DO drink grape juice, I do have red and white gingham in my kitchen, and I do on the occasion just say "Wow-wee!" and "have fun."
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on October 13, 2011, 04:39:59 PM: Help yourself. There is plenty of all to go around. :)

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v208/SparklerGirl/295885_10150854519085591_418957405590_21165655_574526149_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LeaveThePastBehind on October 13, 2011, 04:44:38 PM: I took a little bit of each ;D ~ there's enough for everyone! Thanks!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: kikki on October 14, 2011, 03:03:49 AM: Thanks WP - that was really lovely - I took a little of each :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on October 14, 2011, 04:16:33 PM: New song link: Gifts

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/gifts
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on October 14, 2011, 06:10:22 PM: Yes, I think I can use a fresh batch today myself. How do I go through it so quickly?! ;)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Anjae on October 14, 2011, 06:14:55 PM: Thanks, WP. Took a bit of each. :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LeaveThePastBehind on October 14, 2011, 06:27:19 PM: And may I add...

~*~ Happy Friday! Hugs for Everyone ~*~
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on October 14, 2011, 06:28:58 PM: Thanks StarGazer! :D
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LeaveThePastBehind on October 14, 2011, 06:29:36 PM: O.k. that's making me dizzy. :D

You're welcome Warrior!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: xyzcf on October 14, 2011, 07:15:44 PM: Thanks for the nice greeting!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Mermaid on October 15, 2011, 03:16:32 AM: Thank you... perhaps I can fill a jar with these at home, like instant coffee, but better.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on November 14, 2011, 07:21:41 PM: Great inspirational website:
http://tinybuddha.com/

Thanks for sharing it StarGazer Girl! :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Seeking Serenity on November 29, 2011, 04:17:43 AM: Here is the story of the Flight of a Butterfly:

One day, man found a cocoon of a butterfly. Soon, a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole. Then it stopped, as if it couldn’t go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body, Neither happened!

In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required by the butterfly to get through the opening was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that it would be ready for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us. We will not be as strong as we could have been and we would never fly.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Musica on November 29, 2011, 04:26:47 AM: A Thoughtful story. Thank you xx
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: LeaveThePastBehind on November 29, 2011, 08:32:20 AM: Beautiful story, InLimbo. :) I fee like that butterfly... In the process of changing and waiting to fully emerge from my comfort zone without being forced. ...letting nature take its course. :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on December 06, 2011, 05:26:11 PM: Okay, so today hit a rough patch in trying to separate the financial ties with h. I was getting into a spin. Took out the trusty guitar and let it OUT.

Not another minute sound link below.

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/not-another-minue-3/s-WHBSh
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Stillpraying on December 06, 2011, 07:00:47 PM: The hopeful woman:

http://strengthfortoday.wordpress.com/hope-less-or-hope-full/
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: forthetrees on December 11, 2011, 07:36:13 PM: Song muses are back in action:

http://soundcloud.com/greymulder/seashore/s-9ajqi
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Tsunami on December 11, 2011, 09:23:38 PM: FTT, your voice sounds like a honey bee, you are more than talented my friend.

Have a good week!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Stillpraying on December 14, 2011, 03:49:05 AM: Well, I have just been uplifted and I thought I'd share the good news. I posted on my thread that my brother and his wife were having problems. I recommended some books and websites I've found on my journey and I'm pleased to say he sent a text tonight that said they were getting along MUCH better. They have both been reading 'Love and Respect'. They are also both coming down at Christmas from QLD (Shantilly's State) which is great news as last week my brother thought he'd be coming alone with the kids.

Also, a mum at school has reversed the downward spiral of her marriage. I loaned her some books, including 'Men in Midlife Crisis' and she immediatley made changes to the way she responded to her husband. They are now getting along much better and expecting their 4th child.

I wished the kids and I never had to go through this but if I hadn't I KNOW i would not have been able to offer any real help to these 2 families. I AM happy that in spite of the demise of my family, our crisis could be used to help TWO families.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on December 14, 2011, 09:34:16 AM: Always good to hear about positive turn arounds. Thanks for sharing SP! :)
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Musica on December 14, 2011, 02:18:57 PM: A good result SP xxx
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Foxberry on January 04, 2012, 12:16:11 PM: Happy New Year to all my Forum friends, you're special people... I found this Quote below - not really sure what else to call it, but I find it powerful and am going to try and read it every day....I wanted to post it and hope it helps you too..

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying, blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Author Unknown – what a gift

Lots of love to you all
Foxy xxxx
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: JD on January 04, 2012, 12:27:04 PM: Thanks for posting this.
I have printed it and will be putting it up where I can read it daily.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: StandandDeliver on January 05, 2012, 02:28:34 PM: I love that Foxy, it is powerful!
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: WarriorPriestess on January 05, 2012, 02:35:34 PM: I merged this with the previous thread on Inspirational Thoughts.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: kikki on January 05, 2012, 02:43:31 PM: Thank you Foxy - I love that too and have printed it out x
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Wed2Him?Whatever. on January 06, 2012, 06:19:26 AM: http://myoneword.org/choose/

“My One Word” is an experiment designed to move you beyond the past and look ahead. The challenge is simple: lose the long list of changes you want to make this year and instead pick ONE WORD. This process provides clarity by taking all of your big plans for life change and narrowing them down into a single thing. One word focuses on your character and creates a vision for your future.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Musica on January 11, 2012, 02:48:13 AM: Great words Foxy ... Happy New Year to you! I have also copied this out for my file! Thanks xxxx
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Stillpraying on January 28, 2012, 02:53:41 AM: ....From Beautiful Star's thread............."Through building your sense of self you will build your capacity to forgive"
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: missybuddha on February 09, 2012, 03:22:22 PM: A poem by Emily Bronte on courage.

No Coward Soul Is Mine

No coward soul is mine,
No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere:
I see Heaven's glories shine,
And faith shines equal, arming me from Fear.

O God within my breast,
Almighty, ever-present Deity!
Life - that in me hast rest,
As I - Undying Life- have power in Thee!

Vain are the thousand creeds
That move men's hearts, unutterably vain;
Worthless as withered weeds
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main,

To waken doubt in one
Holding so fast by Thine infinity;
So surely anchored on
The steadfast rock of immortality.

With wide-embracing love
Thy Spirit animates eternal years,
Pervades and broods above,
Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates and rears

Though Earth and moon were gone,
And suns and universes ceased to be,
And Thou wert left alone,
Every Existence would exist in Thee.

There is not room for Death,
Nor atom that his might could render void:
Thou - Thou art Being and Breath,
And what Thou art may never be destroyed.
Title: Re: Inspirational Thoughts
Post by: Shantilly Lace on February 10, 2012, 12:48:08 PM: Link to new thread
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2145.new#new