Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: in it on September 25, 2013, 02:48:28 AM
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The Harvard Women’s Health Watch suggests six reasons to get enough sleep:
Learning and memory: Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory through a process called memory consolidation. In studies, people who’d slept after learning a task did better on tests later.
Metabolism and weight: Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite.
Safety: Sleep debt contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime. These lapses may cause falls and mistakes such as medical errors, air traffic mishaps, and road accidents.
Mood: Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness. Too little sleep can also leave you too tired to do the things you like to do.
Cardiovascular health: Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat.
Disease: Sleep deprivation alters immune function, including the activity of the body’s killer cells. Keeping up with sleep may also help fight cancer.
I feel THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. Please feel free to contribute to this thread!
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http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/depression-and-sleep
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Yes! Sleep is so vital!
For a few months after BD, I barely slept. Now that I have 'let go' of all the stresses my H's MLC was putting upon me, now that I can get on with my life without worrying about what he's doing, thinking, not doing....I sleep like a log.
I get up at 6:30 and go to bed at 11:30 ish. It takes me about 30 minutes to fall asleep.
6 hrs+ of solid sleep is plenty enough for me and I don't wake up in the night anymore.
I love my bed. Best relationship ever!! ;D
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I should have added that it is also very important to unwind from the day stresses before going to bed and that all the contemplating we have to do about our lives and what's happening should not be done in bed. It just cannot be the last thing we do before going to sleep.
Sleep is personal and belongs to the individual.
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In It:
Thank you for starting this thread and sharing this very helpful information. Unfortunately, I still struggle with getting enough sleep. It is not due to MLC stress, just working full-time and raising three children virtually on my own. There never seems to be enough hours in the day to get it all done. I need a clone. LOL.
Hugs to you.
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Your WELCOME!
I know sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture and it does all kinds of REALLY strange things to your brain.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/12-ways-to-shut-off-your-brain-before-bedtime/0006577
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Sleep is vital. And for a LBS even more. Sadly many times we don't manage to sleep enough.
Yes, sleep deprivation is used as a form or torture and it provokes all sorts of changes in brain and body.
The fact that several of our MLCers don't sleep much, and certainly, for many, far less than they used to, amazes me. I still don't get how they manage to eat, work, exist, with so little sleep and lead the crazy lives that they do.
Would not found it strange if some MLCers will have permanent damages (brain ones or others) caused by their excessive lack of sleep.
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Thank you Angae for bringing up the thread I thought about it earlier for our friends "across the pond"
People hallucinate from lack of sleep. Brains cannot function correctly.W e can even convince ourselves by using denial that something else has happened to people that we love. Rewrite history ourselves.
Sleep take a genuine interest in it. Educate yourself. I'll try to find some more links.
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http://www.wikihow.com/Fall-Asleep
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http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/excessive-sleepiness-10/sleep-101
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http://www.chopra.com/community/online-library/tips/how-to-get-restful-sleep
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http://valleysleepcenter.com/blog/six-good-for-you-sleep-inducing-foods/
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http://www.womansday.com/health-fitness/10-all-natural-ways-to-get-a-better-nights-sleep-113154
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http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=it-must-be-the-moon-tired
Maybe there's something else to the Full Moon thing some of us don't know about...
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http://www.helpguide.org/life/sleep_tips.htm
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When you're under stress, it's easy to let healthy habits slide. But getting a good night's sleep is especially important when the pressure's on.
Need more help?
If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away.
Try these tips for getting a better night's sleep:
Stick to your routine. You may be tempted to stay up late and sleep in on the weekends and holidays. But too much variation in your sleep cycle can make it difficult to get back on track when it's time to return to your regular routine.
Get some exercise. Physical activity is crucial for a good night's sleep. Just don't work-out too close to bedtime.
Enjoy moderation. Indulging in a heavy meal and alcohol just before bedtime almost guarantees interrupted sleep. Too many drinks just before bedtime can also mean nighttime trips to the bathroom.
Make time to unwind. If you're frazzled and hassled all day, it's not reasonable to think that within a few minutes of hitting the sack you'll fall asleep. Give yourself 30 minutes or so to wind down.
Clear the room. When you're stressed out and distracted, it's hard to fall asleep. So turn off the cell phone and the laptop at least an hour before bedtime.
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Get some exercise. Physical activity is crucial for a good night's sleep. Just don't work-out too close to bedtime.
I have been going for a 2-3 mile run around 7:00pm. by the time I get back and shower, its about 8-8:15. I have time to relax with D10 watching some TV until she falls asleep around 9:00pm. I can then hit the sack and be out between 9:30 & 10:00.
Been doing wonders relieving stress too!
OneByOne
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http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1690
A little info on what happens when you don't get enough sleep..
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http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/science/what/sleep-patterns-rem-nrem
A little more technical....
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One of the guys wrote on another that self medicating with alcohol doesn’t work I can confirm this to be the case.
I found that the alcohol I consumed was a big cause of my sleep depravation rather than an aid to sleep. Drink too much in the evening and that was the volume that I would pass through the night getting up out of bed several times.
alcohol just before bedtime almost guarantees interrupted sleep. Too many drinks just before bedtime can also mean night time trips to the bathroom.
Yes I can confirm
So I’ve just read some of the tips on the other links.
Things that I think will work for me
Light music - that stops my brain rushing at a hundred miles an hour.
Total darkness - the curtains are thin in my room so I’m going to try a sleeping mask.
Temperature – If I get it right I can sleep, otherwise I’m a sweaty mess or a shivering wreck.
I’m gonna miss the alcohol but it was doing me no good at all.
Lanzo
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Yep- total dark..no white noise..cooler than hotter temperature in the room.
Very important to have a good mattress and blankets pillows etc that give support and comfort to you and your senses.
I might have a drink...not very often.
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For a couple of months post BD I was lucky to get 5 hours a night. I would wake 4 or 5 times each night. Then I would wake up in the morning with an anxiety panic. A total mess. I wondered how I could possibly maintain my health.
Now, after 5 months, I am sleeping between 7 and 8 hours a night and waking up twice. I am able to get right back to sleep with no problems. My W was always envious of me as I fell asleep quite fast. She would wake up at 3 in the morning and could not get back to sleep (can anyone say depression?).
So I am making pretty good progress with my sleeping. It's all due to God and giving my stress, anxiety and fear over to him.
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Great post TZ!
http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/natural-sleeping-remedies
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Thanks, in it. And thanks for all the great subject threads. They really help me a lot.
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I'm glad it helps TZ-
I don't think people don't realize just how important this is..to have a good nights sleep.
It isn't easy..the more you deal with this and the people with kids, jobs etc..the stress takes it's toll and you have to get your sleep. You think all kinds of crazy things if you don't get enough of it.
I'm a firm beliver in naps but I'm currently unemployed right now..I get pretty crabby if I don't get a nap! ;D ;D ;D
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http://healthyliving.msn.com/health-wellness/sleep/eat-drink-and-be-sleepy-5-natural-sleep-aids-1
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WOW am I going to have trouble doing THIS tonight!!
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Ahh Sleep, one of my favourite subjects and activities. I've always had insomniac tendencies and now my health problems (CFS/ME) cause me to be exhausted but unable to sleep properly.
I can totally agree about alcohol not being good for sleep, it'll send you off nicely but even if you don't need to get up for multiple toilet trips your sleep will be disturbed and you may wake a lot. There is good scientific evidence for this, but I can't remember the details.
If you go without sleep long enough it will actually kill you. However this takes the best part of two weeks with no sleep at all. You'll be going pretty crazy by that time. As someone else mentioned hallucinations among other things. Without sleep the body loses it's ability to control important things like temperature and blood pressure. The good news is that if you miss say 2 days (16 hours) of sleep you don't need the full 16 hours to catch up. Same applies no matter how long you stay awake.
Personally I need medication to sleep and have done ever since I've been ill. I take an antidepressant at a dose too low for it to be an antidepressant, but it has a side effect of making you sleepy - very useful. This kind of thing is recommended for my health problems. But tbh I'd recommend it to anyone who has trouble sleeping and wants to try medication. It's a much better option than proper sleeping pills as it's not addictive. Tho I know those of you in the US have better access to effective non addictive sleeping pills than we do in the UK.
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-pescosolido-ma/3-steps-to-peaceful-sleep_b_3422477.html
sleeping during separation/divorce
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I'm getting better sleep now, alcohol is definately out.
4 hours short wake up then another 3 hours.
I do occasionally have a spoonful of medicine to get me off. (not saying which one as I am not making any recommendations).
But Alcohol is definately out.
Lanzo
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Lanzo...Is the break in your sleep causing you to dream?
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I’m not sure if it’s it the break in the sleep, but recently I taken have notice my dreams. Actually one of my nieces told me to note my dreams and the look into the interpretation of those. Its still difficult to understand if I’m looking into them for interpretations.
Lanzo
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Sometimes they can give you more insight and comfort.
Even the bad ones can be good.. there's a thread Dream interpretations..start a notebook if you can.
I think the website I use is dreammoods.com
This one even goes into how you feel when you are dreaming..scared, happy whatever..type in the emotion in the search box.
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Yes, I noted a few of them
Famous long distance runners struggling to make it to finish line: Possibly running from the marriage but failing to get away. (Me or W ?).
Crashing a car whilst reversing: Somthing holding me up from reaching my goal, the crash means hurting someone to get there.
Dreaming about red Squirrels To see a squirrel in your dream suggests that you are hoarding something. You are holding on to too much and need to learn to let go. On the other hand, a squirrel may also mean that you need to reserve your time and energy. Alternatively, a squirrel indicates that you are pursuing empty and fruitless endeavors. It is time to give up on this dead-end relationship or unprofitable projects.
All interesting stuff
Lanzo
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VERY interesting!! This is a really good way to get in touch with subconscious feelings. Our brain's purge a lot when we sleep.
They say you dream every night but may not remember it; but if you didn't they say you would go insane.
Apparently "they" never lived with an Mlcer... ::)
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http://stopandbreathe.com/2011/03/15/your-most-restful-sleep-ever-in-six-simple-steps/
Close your eyes, breathe, and rest your mind....
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NOW I got trouble sleeping ! Go to bed at 10- wide awake at 2 AM!! Pisses me off!!
Did manage a couple of more hours this morning and a nap..gotta go get ready for BED!!
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It's funny. The first few weeks after BD, I had an absolutely dreadful time trying to sleep. It would take forever to fall asleep, and when I finally did, I would wake up every. single. hour. Things eventually leveled out, I got used to being in the bed alone, and have slept pretty well since. Until now. A couple of nights ago, it started again - trouble falling asleep and waking up several times. MLC - the gift that keeps on giving!
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Well let's see if we can't just exchange that gift for some peace and rest.
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Not sleeping enough was on of my major problems: 0-4h sleep per day for a long period after OM1 and OM2 and even when I was sleeping more, the quality was bad (sweating, talking, wakening, turning around...). I had to ask help from a psychiatrist because it was making me dysfunctional in my daily life and got prescribed an SSRI that is bad antidepressant but was proven excellent to get back my sleep. That said, I don't like and certainly do not recommend drugs; in my case this was necessary. I still do but reduced the dose.
With W we get used to drink lightly BUT with every meal and every night which became a sort of addiction. However, alcohol though it helps to get to sleep it deteriorates further the quality as it is known to cause urination and dehydration. I am planning to stop for a while alcohol and coffee just to see the effects.
Physical activity is key: I used to do sports at semi-pro level and hitting back the gym so I can play my old sport was the best reward. I also try to do as much as I can in the garden. My mind finds peace while I rake franticly leaves for hours, or split logs. All this stress is channelled to something useful for my body and my mind and adds easily some extra hours of sleep.
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I tried PM tablets after the ex's father died..used them for three nights then all of a sudden I was WIDE AWAKE. Was thinking about trying Zquill now.
I don't usually have a drink... sleep pattern is all over the place with that..and yes getting up to use the bathroom IF I drink too much. ::)
I'm up at 4 AM so but 3 PM I'm shot and ready for a nap! Sometimes I take one earlier. I love naps!
I have no problem getting to sleep it's STAYING asleep!!
I use Hershey kisses to ease my mind..and help me relax.
I know I need more excrsise..I'm avoiding that like the plague....
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Well the holidays are over..I hope everybody can now get some rest and sleep.
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It's taken me ages to find this thread again.
I came across this article this morning and thought it might of help for the new comers more particularly.
About napping:
http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/how-long-to-nap-for-the-biggest-brain-benefits/
There are other interesting article on that site, too.
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I am a firm believer in NAPS!
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thanks for posting this againBoo Boo I not that new but still struggling sleeping so will take a look and I know In it great for posting things that are helpful
x
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SLEEP!!! Very important for old timers and newbies alike!
Start a dream journal and interpret them with dreammoods.com
Some dreams may seem disturbing but may not be negative. Look up the feelings you had in the dream also.
((((HUGS))))
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http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20628881,00.html
foods that may help and may not help you sleep
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http://stress.about.com/od/qualitysleep/a/sleep.htm
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When I went to the dr in the early days for AD's she said my main problem was that I wasn't sleeping. The depression gets better if you can get solid sleep, I was in a cycle just like my MLC H, poor sleep led to emotional instability that he could exploit to get me weepy and such. OTC sleep aids helped (only needed 1/2 to get sleep), then I switched to SleepyTime tea. Exercise has been the best.
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Exactly- lack of sleep or quality sleep leaves us in a vulnerable position for our logical reasoning and can create more stress due to the behaviors we may be dealing with due to the instability of the Mlcer..
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For people beyond 35 or 40 there are also throat exercises that will decrease snoring, which will improve your sleep while you're getting it. They're odd, and may want to do them alone. But they do work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIJysIYGbLc
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In It- thanks for "bumping" this info up on the board. Sleep is my greatest pleasure and nemesis all at the same time! I have narcolepsy (do not have the sx of randomly falling asleep!), but I due deal with excessive daytime sleepiness, EVERYDAY. It makes no difference how much or how little I sleep, I feel tired all the time! My problem, apparently, is that my brain does not REM right, in other words, I do not go through the phases of sleep as I'm supposed to. Unfortunately, nothing can be done to correct this. I do take medication daily to help reduce fatigue, and dr told me I should take a "therapeutic nap" everyday. Some days I can, some days I can't. Needless to say, I can absolutely attest to the importance of getting a good night's sleep most, if not every night!
Dream on!
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I'm a firm believer in NAPS! I'm up at 4 AM so by 2PM I'm SHOT.
Try to not stress too much about it. Lack of sleep can screw with how bad things really are and mess with perspective.
Do something comforting before bed...((((hugs))))