Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: in it on October 24, 2013, 11:59:08 AM
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I'm not sure how many of you are brand new to this but it seems like there are a lot more postings. I want to welcome any men that visit this thread; also as thier input is necessary and needed.
We may find ourselves for the FIRST time (or the first time in many years) getting through things on our own.
If you live someplace where it gets cold out in the winter? You need to have your car checked over before winter is in full swing. For some of us the H's or Ex's always did that. Antifreeze, oil etc along with other things.
If anyone would please share anything about what they may know about basic car maintenance and other troubleshooting techniques please post here.
This is also thread for any other 'Around the House " type projects we may attempt. Or troubles that show up..
SAFETY is first and foremost in regards to the LBS'S and CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE!
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Love this thread, thank you for starting it.
Don't forget to change your furnace filters and a furnace tune-up is also important, we don't want it breaking down on the coldest day of the year, which of course is when it would most likely happen.
Also I have purchased battery operated lanterns and flashlights, a couple at a time, so that I have them ready should the power go out. If the power does go out during a winter storm, all the flashlights and such are snatched up quickly and you will not find them when you need them. Don't forget extra batteries also. Lanterns and flashlights are much safer than candles.
Also for those of us in cold winter climates, a couple bags of kitty litter in your trunk, along with a shovel and broom will help should you get caught in a snowdrift.
Will look forward from hearing from others and their winter tips.
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Get winter tires [they have a snowflake on them]. Even here where it doesn't snow much, the govt is requiring winter tires; not all season. And, my mechanic says ALL 4 WD vehicles wear their tires unevenly unless they are rotated regularily.
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http://Insulate outdoor pipes and taps :)
Prune your favourite garden plants, put fleeces on them if you can and tie up your palm trees as they might not stand the weight of snow.
Keep a blanket in your boot, some drinks, a torche and lighter, a car phone charger and .maybe a few tins of fruit, and biscuits, too.
A snow chaos survival kit :)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9Cpngug8Oc
Just remember
positive+to positive+ ( color red)
Negative- to negative- ( color black)
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Learned this one a couple of winters ago.
Not sure if this applies to all provinces or states, but instead of paying a local furnace company to come and inspect the furnace, just call your city/town/province gas provider, and they will come and do it for no charge. Check their website.
On a different topic (maybe next one?), but another thing I have learned is if you are really struggling, and in your own home, you can get a break on property taxes, depending upon your financial status.
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Not sure I know anything of use (as Booboo can confirm on the hot water issue I had!!), but what a great idea for a thread, In It! My new reference point! ;)
xxx
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I think right now the single most important purchase I made was a cordless screwdriver-drill set. I love having that when something needs to be done. Then I have my own box of tools for doing things around the house.
Make sure if you tend to lose power in the winter you have oil lamps (Filled with oil; note to self ) on hand. Candles can be dangerous with small children and pets. Also a large flashlight if you don't have one already.
Also a hard line phone in case you need to call out. I know most people have cell phones now but they can be unreliable especially if they had a low charge. And I find them annoying as they cut out when you are trying to communicate.
Snowdrop- this workshop not necessarily designed to address issues regarding the workings of houses and cars..I just wanted to start a thread to help us keep ourselves and our children safe through the winter ahead.
Please share any information that might be a way to save money also..or start a thread Snowdrop on how to save money! :)
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There's a storm due here in the UK (although whether it's dramatic as the media makes out, I am not sure), but combined with this thread, D12 and I have resolved to go and dig out torches, ensure we have matches and candles, and just have things on hand.
Great idea about the landline too - we have notoriously bad signal in our village on our mobile phones, so proper wired landline seems a good plan!
xxx
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Good Clarebear keep us posted if you can! The media tends to sensational the weather sometimes.
That way if the storm is less fierce nobody catches hell for it.
But I'd rather err on the side of caution with weather -BE PREPARED.
What kind of heat source do you have?
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What a great thread idea InIt.
How about ensuring there is a good supply of bottled water and basic food items in the house in case of emergencies.
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From what I understand, it's due to hit the UK overnight on Sunday night, but I do think, In It, it's probably a case of worst case scenario, as you say, so no one can say we weren't told!! There was a storm about 20 odd years ago that no one failed to predict, so since then, it seems they've gone the other way! In comparison with other countries, our weather isn't very extreme - we are just not very good, in the UK, of coping with anything out of the ordinary - the whole country grinds to a halt with a sprinkle of snow!!!
We are fine for heating - we have gas central heating, but do have intermittent electricity problems anyway, so envisage that or structural damage would be the main issues.
xxx
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Water is important and the suggestions you made are great also Klkki! Just be safe Clarebear..OK?
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Hi there! I suggest that all the ladies and gents check out the smoke alarms in their abode, and if you have not replaced them in years, as in my case, then you might want to think about replacing them. Mine have gone off 3 times in 5 months!! :o I changed the batteries with fresh ones the first 2 times! I was reminded this morning by Mr. CT that we had replaced the alarms when we moved into this house. So I am going to go ahead and replace them all. You can go to the home improvement stores and they usually sell the alarms in sets of 5 or 6, can't remember, and individually as well. You also might check with the large discount stores too.
If you don't need to replace your alarms, think about replacing the batteries on New Year's Day! Makes it easy to remember when to change the batteries!! ;D
I hope this helps!
CT 8)
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CT - good idea. I am guilty of that, for sure.
Here, they always suggest checking them when the clocks change, so twice a year. I always remember to do it, I just don't do it :o Ours always beep when the battery is running low, but I shouldn't depend on that, and I know better ::).
As well, Carbon Monoxide detectors are a must.
Keep being fabulous!
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Small fire extinguishers next to fireplaces, wood stoves and any other heat source is an idea also.
Also have the chimney cleaned... :)
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What a great idea!
My crazy H ran off with the tools & the torches and they were the first things I replaced back in the house. Already the torches have come in handy when I've had a few powercuts. I keep one downstairs and one by my bedside just in case of powercut in the night. I also have a rolling pin under the bed....need I say more! :) :)
Love & Light xx
Venus
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Oh great way to remember things, to do it on New Year's Day - I like it CT!! I am guilty of waiting for the beeping in the battery - we have 3 in our house, and only 1 replacement battery - they had better not all go down at once or I had better buy two more replacement batteries!!
There are a few bits that my stepdad is sorting on my car on Sunday - when I know what they are (he he I have no idea!!), I'll report back ;D
xxx
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Oh great way to remember things, to do it on New Year's Day - I like it CT!! I am guilty of waiting for the beeping in the battery - we have 3 in our house, and only 1 replacement battery - they had better not all go down at once or I had better buy two more replacement batteries!!
An extra amount of batteries is a good idea also. Watch for sales. Whatever cell size you may need.
Don't forget snow scrapers for your cars. I think blankets, warmer clothes, etc have already been mentioned.
Make sure cell phones have a charge if you are leaving to go for the day.
If it can be afforded a membership in triple A can be very helpful, costs less than a couple of tows.
I'm not sure what their list of services is but I think they'll help you get into an accidentally locked car, jump start your car etc.
If someone asks what you'd like for Christmas? Makes a great gift. NO one wants to be stranded with small children or possibly by themselves with no help on a winter road.
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Don't forget to turns off the water connection to all the garden taps.
Two weeks ago I received an email from my MLcer saying that now that winter is setting in
I need to close the connection to the garden taps.
Last year H forgot to do it....busy with OW ....as a result the water in them froze and the pipes burst.
Had to get them repaired.
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Get all the relevant paperwork ie house/car/buildings insurance documents/ contact nos for electricity board etc...to hand. Create a handy folder or list of contact nos. Nothing worse that having to struggle to find the correct info when you're stressed.
Inform your children of where the details can be found if something happens to you ( not drastic but you're ill etc..) so that they can help you.
Check heating oil levels by mid November and see what sales there are in coal/logs etc now if you have a wood burner.
Update or see if AA or RAC or Green Flag will do a deal on updating any current membership service.
Buy plenty of gloves - Tesco/Poundland sells loads at £1 a pair and have them everywhere like car, house, work, spare drawer etc...
Where possible buy freezable goods in bulk or take advantage of BOGOF that you can freeze. Buy also ice packs and keep in freezer so if freezer affected by power cut then ice packs will help keep products frozen a little longer.
If power cut does affect your food then cook it and when power is restored - refreeze it.
If you can UK ladies - check out Cargo Cotton and if you can afford it - buy their boots/wellies (fur lined chunky platform type soles) Absolutely brilliant in all winter weathers.
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Get all the relevant paperwork ie house/car/buildings insurance documents/ contact nos for electricity board etc...to hand.
All ideas EXCELLENT! S&D!! As to the above it's a good idea to copy these papers off to keep in more than one place.
And if you don't have a will? (I know sounds extreme doesn't it?)
You might think about drawing one up or writing one out on paper and keep it in a sealed envelope where someone knows where it is. Have it notarized if possible. I believe if it is left UNSEALED then opened upon your death it is still a legal document.
Or make sure you designate some one to hold your assets in trust for the kids..if an Mlcer gets a hold of it?..it'll probably get SOLD!
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I have also started ensuring that D12 has telephone numbers of important friends who can help in times of a crises - so for example, one friend who works from home, so if something happens while she's at home before school or whatever, and I am not around she knows she can call on her, etc.
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EXCELLENT!!
If kids are old enough they know who they can call or communicate with that are SAFE!
Back ups are best! You cannot count on MlCER's to be there when you need them.
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Another good idea that goes along with S&D's post about the power going out. If you can, keep your gallon milk jugs when you are done with them, make sure to rinse them out really good, wash the caps and let them dry. Then fill them with tap water up to about an inch from the top, put the caps on and put them in your freezer. So if the power goes out, you will have gallon jugs of frozen water to use as ice packs for your food, or if you need water, you can boil it and drink it. I have a freezer in the garage, and I have about 6 gallon jugs in there. Mr. CT wanted us to be prepared for the zombie apocalypse! HAHAHAHAHA Not really, but we used them in the coolers when we would go camping. Very handy!
CT 8)
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Another Idea I just got from CT thread-
If some of us are coming home to a dark house install plug in timers on the inside of the house to turn on the lights . Outdoor motion sensors aren't a bad idea either. Or timers on those.
Also tiny led flashlights on car key rings can help to find things in the dark. Mace (with or without a man) is a good idea also..but is illegal in NYS.
So wherever it's legal it's a good idea also.
This is kind of old but good advice when crossing a parking lot anytime by yourself. Hold your head up, look around, have your keys out BEFORE you get to the car.
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Great thread idea!
Btw for those of you needing winter tires: did you know there's a front and a back to 'em?? I didn't. Last year in the haze of mid-MLC my H put them all (his and mine) on backwards. Then he left. I spent the winter vaguely wondering why my car didn't handle well. Folks at the local tire shop laughed so hard when I eventually asked them what the heck was up.
Also for those (like me) who work shifts or get home late: My key bunch holds so many keys. I got into the habit of keeping a safey pin on my front door key, so my hands could find it quickly in the dark.
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No..I didn't know that about tires but that's a really funny story..I don't care who you are!! ;D ;D ;D
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Mace (with or without a man) is a good idea also..but is illegal in NYS.
That brought up mean images, which I totally enjoyed. I envisioned going crazy with bear spray and a big stick, then having to say, "Oooops, sorry H, didn't see you there" ;D ;D ;D
Last year in the haze of mid-MLC my H put them all (his and mine) on backwards.
Did he at least remember to put all four of them on? ;D ;D ;D
There's a lady who lives nearby, and she drives one of those family vans, and you know how people put a bow or something similar on the antennae to identify their car? Well, she went for the same effect, but put a bunch of fake flowers on the roof of her car, above the drivers side. Can you imagine how many people would have waved at her or motioned for her to pull over as she must have "left them" on the top? I did it once and it was her adult son driving, and and he said it was his moms car, and she did it so she could find it in the parking lot. Think they were there for years. Saw the van recently, and they are gone, and she is now down to a bow or flower attached to her antenna.
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That brought up mean images, which I totally enjoyed. I envisioned going crazy with bear spray and a big stick, then having to say, "Oooops, sorry H, didn't see you there" ;D ;D ;D
Well I got a co2 survivor..SURPRISE!
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I tried to find the thread tips on how to save money for the holidays..but couldn't find it. I hope everybody has had their cars looked at and getting ready to cozy up for winter.
I'll be trying to make most gifts this Christmas. Meaning more than money is my theme for this year.
This idea came from Tired of it all:
I have a cute gift idea my MIL told me about. Its a cake in a cup for one.
You mix one box of angel food cake mix with one box of any other strong flavor (chocolate,red velvet,etc.)cake mix. Put 1/3 a cup of mix in a baggie. Makes several.
Buy a cup. Put tissue paper in it, then a baggie of mix. You can add anything you want to it to decorate it. A candy cane works well. Hang a hand written tag to it that says" Mix with two tablespoons of water in mug. Microwave one minute. ENJOY! Do it in a decorative way. It makes a cake for one that taste great. When its done cooking you can add strawberry jam, or chocolate chips or marshmellows.
Excellent reasonably priced gift item!
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This recipe makes GREAT gingerbread cookies!
It's not the really dark kind..but quite mild in flavor. Kinda soft and chewy.
My D's an I used an over-sized cookie cutter and made one for each of thier teachers at school. They looked awesome. FUN to decorate. Our cookie cutter was so big this recipe only made one. ;D ;D ;D
This is great to do with the kids or grandchildren!
Original recipe makes 2 1/2 dozen Change Servings
1 (3.5 ounce) package cook and serve butterscotch pudding mix
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
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Directions
In a medium bowl, cream together the dry butterscotch pudding mix, butter, and brown sugar until smooth. Stir in the egg. Combine the flour, baking soda, ginger, and cinnamon; stir into the pudding mixture.
Cover, and chill dough until firm, about 1 hour.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease baking sheets. On a floured board, roll dough out to about 1/8 inch thickness, and cut into man shapes using a cookie cutter. Place cookies 2 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets.
Bake for 10 to 12 minutes in the preheated oven, until cookies are golden at the edges. Cool on wire racks.
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Hardly the place for this topic..but not sure how anyone would feel about a legal thread??
http://www.equalityinmarriage.org/wd6.html
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Just a reminder for the LBS women who are doing this without much help this winter...
Hang in there!!! :)
Please start on page one..we got a little off topic...
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Well If you haven't done it yet you might want to get some heat tapes for the winter.
Just got off the phone with a friend and she deals with frozen kitchen pipes in the hose and has been for 20 years and she HAS a husband.
I'm on my way to buy her a heat tape TODAY.
Make sure your batteries in the thermostats that use them have been changed before you call a repairman. I read a thread last night of someone who did this and realized the batteries were in the wrong way. A BIG hug for her for figuring it out by herself.
We can do this..don't panic and use your head! (((( Hugs))))