Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Bailmor on August 11, 2014, 04:39:19 PM
-
It has been reported that actor Robin Williams died today. The 63-year-old was found unconsciious at his home. Reports are he suffered from depression. Wonder if this will begin any main stream talks about depression and the surrounding issues. RIP Robin!
-
I like him too as an actor. Mork and Mindy was an all time favorite!!
-
Suicide by asphyxiation according to the sheriff. His struggles with addiction and mental illness are public knowledge. Very sad day.
-
If anyone knows anything about his past...
Drug and alcohol issues.
Failed marriages.
Health issues.
From Wikipedia:
Marriages and children
Robin Williams' first marriage was to Valerie Velardi on June 4, 1978. They have one child, Zachary Pym (Zak) (born April 11, 1983). During Williams' first marriage, he was involved in an extramarital relationship with Michelle Tish Carter, a cocktail waitress whom he met in 1984. She sued him in 1986, claiming that he did not tell her he was infected with the herpes simplex virus before he embarked on a sexual relationship with her in the mid-1980s, during which, she said, he transmitted the virus to her. The case was settled out of court. Williams and Velardi divorced in 1988.[42][43]
On April 30, 1989, he married Marsha Garces, his son's nanny, who was already several months pregnant with his child. They have two children, Zelda Rae (born July 31, 1989) and Cody Alan (born November 25, 1991). However, in March 2008, Garces filed for divorce from Williams, citing irreconcilable differences.[43][44]
Williams married his third wife, graphic designer Susan Schneider, on October 23, 2011, in St. Helena, California.[45] Their residence was Williams' house in Sea Cliff, a neighborhood in San Francisco, California.[43][46][47]
Wouldn't be surprised if Williams had the MLC bug.
L
-
For me he will always be the "Good Morning Vietnam" voice (and face).
It would be great if his death would bring a wider discussion on depression (and addiction), but I do not know.
Many know actors, and other artists, who were batling with depression and/or addiction have died/taken their lives and not that much seemed to have changed.
A MLC bug that started in 1984? 30 years of MLC bug?
-
Very sad. I have always liked his work.
Makes me fearful for people in my life who are depressive :'(
Really untimely death.
-
So sad about this. The really weird thing is for the past two days, I have looked in several stores because for some reason I felt compelled to buy Dead Poets' Society. :o :o
His movie, Good Will Hunting, has always reminded me of my son. He is also a genius who has attended an Ivy but will probably end up as a janitor. He is my absent minded professor. We also lived outside of Boston at the time the movie came out, so it reminds me of "home" too.
So very sad for the family, the children especially and for all of us on our loss of this great mind.
EM.
-
For me he will always be the "Good Morning Vietnam" voice (and face).
It would be great if his death would bring a wider discussion on depression (and addiction), but I do not know.
Many know actors, and other artists, who were batling with depression and/or addiction have died/taken their lives and not that much seemed to have changed.
A MLC bug that started in 1984? 30 years of MLC bug?
What I meant by that (sorry for being cryptic).
Did Williams go thru some type of MLC back in the 80's?
Lived a life full of regret - after?
Just a thought.
L
-
He had a new show on TV last year that I was watching "the crazy ones" it was good I thought
RIP RW
-
Did Williams go thru some type of MLC back in the 80's?
Lived a life full of regret - after?
Who knows? Probably only Williams knew.
How could I forgot about Dead Poet's Society? Good Will Hunting is also quite good.
Not all depressed people kill themselves, Mitzpah.
The thing that I find sad is that not even someone like Williams, a man for whom money was no obstacle, was able to be treatted (providing he had wanted to) for his depression. Some people cannot afford treatmen, or to take time off, but he could.
-
Found this clip from The Fisher King that hits the spot for several of our spouses: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6s26WxsgyKE
-
Was very sad to hear that Robin is dead. He was such a great comedian. But I had heard numerous times that he struggled with alcohol and depression. Still very, very sad though.
-
His new show was cancelled and he supposedly was financially devastated by his second divorce...
-
I didn't mean to be so callous about Robin's passing, but I thought about the depression since it has been so prevalent in my W's life right now. If this can happen to Robin, it can happen to anyone. So scary how much destruction this disease can cause.
-
Don't forget the LBS who are also suffering from depression...
-
One of my favorite lines which I jokingly say to my kids frequently is from Mrs. Doubtfire: "it was a drive-by fruiting". Amazing how someone who could makes us laugh so much could hide so much pain and hurt. It does seem that many spend their lives behind a mask of one kind or another.
My son and I are currently enjoying Good Morning Vietnam. I forgot how good that was. Its good to laugh again. In spite of the circumstances.
-
Thinking about it, I wonder if his laughter was his mask into his depression. Amazing how masks can hide the real issues in peoples' lives. I pray for all MLCers and LBSers that they can get through this horrible period in their lives.
-
When I heard of Robin Williams passing, I became a little frightened, depression knows no boundaries, I lost 3 family members to suicide because of major depression. I myself attempted twice to take my life from deep major depressive disorder, of which I will always battle but with treatment and therapy, I am feeling so much better.
MLC didn't help this LBS, but I'm getting through. No one knows the pain one goes through inside. Sometimes it's so deep that sadly you think the only way out is to exit permanently. I have read everywhere that people who do this are selfish, please call a hotline, etc...when you are so deep in despair, your not thinking this way, your thinking you have to end this pain, you think your family and friends will be better off.
I would hope more attention could be brought to depression, to mental health issues....I do fear for my H, for I know he is suffering depression. One has to seek and want the help, I know this all to well.
For Robin this came to mind, yes he battled addictions, self medicating? Many years probably....but his comedy, the laughter, the laughing on the outside, but the pain on the inside most likely was was very unbearable for a long time.......RIP
-
Blindsided, I completely agree with you. Sorry you battle with a major depressive disorder, and have all of the LBS stress and chaos on top of that.
I too worry about my MLCer. There have been many times I have wondered whether he would take his own life during his crisis.
Looks like they are now adding comedians to the list of playwrights, painters and other creatives who suffer a high percentage of mental health disorders.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2540275/Comedians-personalities-similar-mental-health-conditions.html
-
You were not callous, Bailmor. Would be good if Williams death would bring more to depression/addiction. Really hope so. Maybe his laughter was his mask. Comedians are often very sad, tortured souls.
Depression is a terrible illness and one that is not easy to fight. Some depressions are light, like situation depression (the type of depression many LBS suffer from), others are very heavy, like major depression. Lifestyle changes, therapy, medicines when needed, can help.
Those who battle with depression throughout their lives have it far worse than a LBS who suffers depression because of all the stress that comes with BD and MLC. I'm not minimizing the pain, hurt and suffering of LBS who, apart from their spouses MLC, do not have to deal with depression. But it is different than always have had it in our life and always will have it.
In a way Kikki, our MLCers are already taking their own lives. They are doing it slowly, but they are killing themselves with those crazy, dangerous replay behaviours.
-
In a way Kikki, our MLCers are already taking their own lives. They are doing it slowly, but they are killing themselves with those crazy, dangerous replay behaviours.
Sadly that is very true Anjae.
-
I am so sorry that he is gone. But most, if not all comedians seem to be inwardly depressed. The comedy is how they mitigate their sadness
-
:'(
-
Hello,
My brother has dealt with depression since his high school years. When he was living by himself, he would kind of disappear (not physically). He would go to work and come back home and not talk or see anyone for days. He wouldn't answer his phone either. We would go check on him.
I told him when he felt like that to call one of us. He said he didn't know he was doing it until he came out of it. It scared us and him too. He got some help, but still deals with it.
-
I am so sorry that he is gone. But most, if not all comedians seem to be inwardly depressed. The comedy is how they mitigate their sadness
I just read on a news website...Chevy Chase saying "Robin and I suffered from the same little known disease- depression"
SSG
-
I recently saw the quote from him about the worst thing is not being alone but being with people who make you feel alone. The thing I kept thinking was that if he suffered from depression, nobody would be able to make him feel not alone. Must have helped ruin his marriages along with the addiction problems and people throwing themselves at him.
-
For me he will always be the "Good Morning Vietnam" voice (and face).
It would be great if his death would bring a wider discussion on depression (and addiction), but I do not know.
Many know actors, and other artists, who were batling with depression and/or addiction have died/taken their lives and not that much seemed to have changed.
A MLC bug that started in 1984? 30 years of MLC bug?
In my opinion, those who suffer from MLC suffer from a lifelong illness. Their whole lives are troubled from when they were young. Even after they supposedly "come out", there will be lingering issues. Even those who have their spouses "return" May still have them leave again, and if not other depressive symptoms. I believe that this illness is innate, it can b treated, but it will always be there. It's how the person deals with it. I hope no one is naive to believe that after you spend years waiting for them to come back, that things will be rainbow and puppies your entire lives together... I suppose like any other relationship .... Just saying.
-
I am so sad about this, but in referencing MLC my husband has admitted to suicidal thoughts, and even an attempt twp (motorcycle accident) that didn't play out. Just recently, because he is battling disc issues in his neck, he referenced that he understood why people in chronic pain would commit suicide, because he if he didn't get relief (and he did) that it was becoming a very tempting option. That bothered me all night after hearing about Robin.
I, too, have had dark nights of the soul, but I always knew suicide wasn't the answer, and I didn't want to hurt the people who love me. My faith has kept me afloat during these times, but I understand how someone can be so crippled by depression that suicide would seem the only way out. Sad...sad...sad. Losing Robin, especially in this way, is just a major loss.
-
In my opinion, those who suffer from MLC suffer from a lifelong illness. Their whole lives are troubled from when they were young. Even after they supposedly "come out", there will be lingering issues. Even those who have their spouses "return" May still have them leave again, and if not other depressive symptoms. I believe that this illness is innate, it can b treated, but it will always be there. It's how the person deals with it. I hope no one is naive to believe that after you spend years waiting for them to come back, that things will be rainbow and puppies your entire lives together... I suppose like any other relationship .... Just saying.
I actually believe this too, whether nature or nurture, this is part of them.
-
He was one of my favorites ! :'( :'( :'(
You may find this Interesting...today I opened my e-mail and my H( we are reconnecting) sent me an article that he evidently read yesterday. The article was an explanation of how depression affects you, he said, "this is so true, it is me!!"
He was sitting right next to me last night but never said a word, just sent the forward to my email, which I saw this morning when I arrived at work.
Discussion will definitely be started ;)
31andcounting
-
The Guardian site has published and interview with Robin Williams from 2010 in which he talks about his drinking, drugs and depression. It is worthy read:
http://www.theguardian.com/film/2010/sep/20/robin-williams-worlds-greatest-dad-alcohol-drugs
"I was in a small town where it's not the edge of the world, but you can see it from there, and then I thought: drinking. I just thought, hey, maybe drinking will help. Because I felt alone and afraid. It was that thing of working so much, and going f***, maybe that will help. And it was the worst thing in the world." What did he feel like when he had his first drink? "You feel warm and kind of wonderful. And then the next thing you know, it's a problem, and you're isolated."
and
Among many other things he says "Some have suggested it was Reeve's death that turned him back to drink. "No," he says quietly, "it's more selfish than that. It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety."
I think it applies to our MLCers. They feel alone, they are filled with fear, they go for OW/OM, alcohol, drugs, cars, motorbikes, new clothes, ect. and, of course, none of those things solves anything.
http://www.nextavenue.org/blog/what-does-exploding-rate-boomer-suicide-say-about-us - this article about the growing rate of suicide among baby boomers is also interesting.
And Coursera, through John Hopkins School of Nursing is offering a course called Alcohol, Drugs, and Baby Boomers: Are you ready? The course allow those who are nurses or healthcare professionals to ear CNE credit.
-
I had heard I think several years ago that Robin Williams was bipolar. I know the depressive episodes that go along with that are debilitating.
He will be missed.
-
I was very sad to hear of his passing. I always liked him as a comedian and an actor. "What Dreams May Come" was always one of my favorites. When my W came back the first time, she sent me an email. In it she mentioned she'd rather die that be without me. I wonder if I wouldn't have taken her back, if suicide or at least thoughts of suicide would have been in the mix.
-
I had heard I think several years ago that Robin Williams was bipolar. I know the depressive episodes that go along with that are debilitating.
He will be missed.
Yes he was bipolar.
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/08/11/robin-williams-bipolar-sufferer-dead-at-63-due-to-suicide/
I would hope that this might turn the light on this disease and something good might come from something so bad.
-
I would hope that this might turn the light on this disease and something good might come from something so bad.
I hope so too.
This is interesting below. Sounds as though this has caused quite a backlash, with people calling for this tv host's resignation.
http://digg.com/video/fox-news-host-calls-robin-williams-such-a-coward-over-alleged-suicide
-
OP, is that the correct link? I can't seem to open it up?
-
OP, is that the correct link? I can't seem to open it up?
Try it again now
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/08/11/robin-williams-bipolar-sufferer-dead-at-63-due-to-suicide/
-
Thanks OP, works this time.
-
They don't really know if he suffered from bipolar. They say he was never diagnosed for it, but are basing it on his behaviour.
"Editorial note: We acknowledge Williams himself has never stated, to our knowledge, that he had been formally diagnosed with bipolar disorder or depression."
It seems Williams hilself has never said he suffered from depression but those close to him say he was battling depression. And on the Guardian article he talks about lows and other things.
These days, despite it all, people are a little more aware and news hosts or others who still use the same old beaten ideas about depression, mental illness or suicide generate quite a backlash.
-
Robin's wife announced a few days ago that Robin was diagnosed and battling Parkinson's Disease. I'm sure that did not help anything and may have toppled his strength to fight anything anymore. The rehab facility that he went to a few months back is also said to be back in the 80's...way behind today's top facilities of treating the addiction as well as the depression...both need to be treated at the same time, not one at a time.
I loved the movies: The Bird Cage, Good Morning Vietnam, Dead Poet's Society, Mrs. Doubtfire...as well as all the others. He will surely be missed by all of us...world-wide. RIP Robin! :'(
-
I once saw on here a thread about Robin Williams. I think it was started by Bailmor. I read in people magazine that Robin did not kill himself because of depression. His autopsy revealed he had a rarebrsin disease called Lewey Body. It causes severe vivid hallucinations and is often mistaken for Parkinsons. It is usually only diagnosed by autopsy.
-
I once saw on here a thread about Robin Williams. I think it was started by Bailmor. I read in people magazine that Robin did not kill himself because of depression. His autopsy revealed he had a rarebrsin disease called Lewey Body. It causes severe vivid hallucinations and is often mistaken for Parkinsons. It is usually only diagnosed by autopsy.
Now you are part of it.
-
Thank you. Op